Title: A Highly Productive Meeting
Pairings: America x England, some minor France x Scotland and mentions Germany x Prussia
Genre: Romance, Humour
Summary: After Arthur completely misses all his advances, Alfred decides to high-jack a World Meeting for one last attempt at wooing his favorite Brit. Request for darkangels1112
Warnings: contains OCs for Scotland (Tadhg Ross), North Ireland (Cahir Burke), Republic of Ireland (Carlyn Burke), Wales (Emrys Kerwyn) and mentions Joshua (Australia). Yaoi
Arthur Kirkland could feel his left eye twitching dangerously as he tried his best to ignore France's blatant molestation of his older brother. In the name of Elizabeth the first - the meeting hadn't even started yet and already he was ready to pack it in and leave. He supposed he should be thankful that America had left him alone, thus far.
Over the course of the last few months the young, loud-mouthed idiot had been crowding Arthus far more than the Brit was particularly comfortable with. Arthur had lost count of how many 'Summer Action Blockbusters', horrible music gigs and games of various sports - which had been ripped off from ones either his brothers or himself had created - Alfred had dragged him to. To be perfectly candid, Arthur was ready to manually remove his own eye-brow hairs with his own fingers! What made it worse was all the infernal touching. Arthur despised being touched; all those years of being France's favourite victim tended to do that to a bloke. Thankfully the wine-loving fop had decided he liked Scotland better.
One good thing about World Meetings was that Tadhg was there to distract Francis' wandering hands. It was really quite admirable how his brother managed to keep the serial lover in check with such apparent ease. Arthur would never tell Scotland, but he was always greateful for his presence at these meetings - none of Arthur's brothersreally needed to attend these meetings, anymore. Not since the rest of the world started viewing the entire British Isles as being solely England's responsibility.
At the very least Alfred hadn't managed to get into an argument with any of the Middle Eastern nations yet - as soon as something like that happened then it was nigh-on impossible for anything to get done. In fact, many of the usual disruptors were surprisingly calm today. Perhaps it was the relatively calm atmosphere that was present in Toronto?
Whatever the reason, Arthur could only hope it lasted long enough for them to actually get something done. And with that thought I've probably jinxed the whole thing, anyway. Bollocks.
Thankfully yje eventual arrival of the Italy brothers cut through Arthur's musings and Germany was able to finally get things going. "All right, now that everyone is finally present we can go ahead and get this meeting started." Italy Romano scoffed audibly, glaring at the tall blond, though thankfully something whispered in his ear by Veneziano stopped him from making any scathing comments. "First of all, does anybody have any matters they wish to bring forth?"
Scotland was the first to raise his hand and he stood when Germany nodded in his direction. Immediately England was tense - he knew what Tadhg was going to talk about and it wasn't something he was particularly willing to have discussed so publically. "As of two weeks ago, my First Minister has started proceedings for an independant Scotland. I would like to ask for anyone who is willing to back us on this agenda to show their support." The harsher, Glaswegian accent that had dominated Tadhg's speech lately was being repressed as much as possible by the burly red-head so that the other nations could understand him easier. It was always funny listening to his siblings trying to speak proper English.
The Republic of Ireland smirked and stood to shake his hand. "All I can say, brother, is it's about frikkin' time! I'm behind you all the way." she said merrily.
"And you have my own support as well, Mon chardon rouge." France announced, watching Tadhg with a disgusting combination of lust and pride. Honestly that frog had no shame. Soon after Wales stated his backing of this move he was followed by Canada, America and pretty much all of England's former commonwealth along with a few others. Arthur scowled, clenching his fists.
"Honestly - you're all acting as if this is a given. There's no guarantee your latest little move for independence will come to pass."
"My people have already voted on this, little brother." Scotland retorted. "And if anyone can get this legislation passed it's Salmond." The two brothers stared heatedly at each other until France eased Scotland back into his seat - America doing the same for Arthur.
"Really, Artie, can't you just let Uncle Tadhg have this? It has been a long time coming, you know?" With yet another angry scowl, Arthur just shoved his former colony away and grumbled something uninteligible about ingrates and uncultured barbarians. Sighing, Alfred turned to face Germany instead. "I'll be going next! I have a powerpoint all set up and ready to go.
With a non-committal grunt Germany just nodded his consent - when it came to America it was usually best to just let him get whatever it was out of his system.
"All right - before I begin I just want to say I'm dedicating this to someone very special to me. It doesn't matter if you don't know who it is, yet, because you'll all know soon enough!" Dear God, who is the little wanker planning on embarassing? Arthur had a sinking feeling in his stomach even before 'God Save the Queen' by the Sex Pistols started playing through the speakers.
When the slides began England buried his face in his hands - trying desparately to avoid the sadistic sniggers of the Irish twins. Alred had compiled photographs from all the outings the two of them had taken recently - of course mostly the ones that seemed to focus on the two of them together in some way.
"For a long time the two of us never had much to do with each other - Arthur can hold grudges like a pro! Something he has in common with Auntie Carlyn." The Republic of Ireland ceased her sniggering in favour of growling vehemently at her nephew.
"Watch your tongue, laddie. You might be my nephew but I ain't above beating some sense into ya if you're deservin' of it!"
America just flashed her a brilliant smile and laughed that obnoxious laugh only he seemed able to pull off. "Anyway, lately things have been far better between me and Artie! Sure he's still a grumpy old bastard, and he still tries to feed me petrified couch-stuffing," America grinned and continued without missing a single beat as Arthur's indignant cry of 'Those were scones you ungrateful brat!' went unnoticed. "Now he lets me drag him off to all these really awesome places so we can hang out and have a blast!"
Tadhg sniggered and nudged Arthur with his elbow. "I thought you said you hated American football? You seem to be fair enjoying yourself there." Sure enough the current slide showed Arthur getting incredibly worked up at an American Football match and cheering with the rest of the crowd.
"Shut up!" Arthur hissed. "The atmosphere was infectious and Alfred dragged me to a pub before the game!"
To put things simply, Arthur was absolutely mortified. How in the name of all that was good and holy in the world had Alfred managed to capture all of the most humiliating moments of their endeavors on film? He must have had some people following them with bloody cameras - and if Arthur ever figured out who those people were then they were going to suffer horribly thanks to some of his favourite spells. Unless it turned out to be his siblings... his magic never seemed to work against them.
"Not many of you will know this, but England is still quite the punl!" Arthur's eyes widened as the next pictures showed him dressed up in his full punk-gear, complete with all the piercings he purposefully left out whenever he was going to be around people he knew. The only exception to this being going to punk-rock concerts. "Even though most of the time he acts all prim and proper, good ol' Artie can still let loose with the best of us! And I gotta admit this gig was the most fun I've had in ages while listening to live music!" Again that over-the-top laughed grated through Arthur's ears. The Brit ground his teeth together so hard he thought he would need to make a trip to the dentist very soon. America was due a right good caning, that was for sure.
"Alfred." Germany deadpanned, blue eyes narrowed into a glare. "This is all highly inappropriate for a World-Meeting. Since I know you won't listen to me and stop immediately - I strongly suggest wrapping this up as quickly as possible before I forcibly remove you from the room."
Of course Alfred just flashed another brilliant grin. "No sweat, Fritz! I'm nearly done." A tiny part of Arthur was relieved about that statement - even Wales was joining in with the 'fraternal teasing' and that one never got involved with things like this. However a far more notable portion of his sub-conscious dreaded finding out what was coming next. Arthur had thought relations between Alfred and himself were getting better. Obviously the Brit was wrong if Alfred was going to such lengths just to humiliate him.
"Arthur." America's voice was suddenly sincere and devoid of all humour. "These last few months, being able to just hang out with you have meant a whole lot to me, dude. What I want you to know is: I think it's really cool how you've been putting up with all this stuff for me. So I'm gonna ask you something real important!" There was a pregnant silence throughout the room as everyone waited with baited breath to hear this question Alfred was going to ask. If France's lewd grin and obscene glint in his eyes meant what Arthur thought it did then screw Scotland. He was going to kill that damned frog.
Hungary, on the other hand, he would have to leave well-enough alone. Arthur had no desire to risk his vital regions against Austria and Prussia.
The nature of the question did not come directly from America's mouth. Instead the final slide had an enlarged photograph of Arthur's drunken face along with an anime-styled cartoon of both him and America riding on a unicorn below it. Across Arthur's face in red white and blue glittering letters were the words: Arthur Kirkland - will you be my boyfriend?
That was the final straw. With a red face that was starting to go purple from rage, Arthur marched to the front of the room. He grabbed Alfred by the ear and dragged the superpower through the doors kicking and screaming.
After the initial shock Elizabeta squealed ecstatically. "Japan! Did you help America with that slideshow?" Blushing, Japan nodded shamefully while staring intently at his shoes. "Why didn't you tell me? That was probably the best love confession I've seen since the Berlin Wall fell - reuniting Gilbert and Ludwig!"
"Elizabeta, would you contain yourself?" Germany pleaded, face reddening at an alarming rate - and no one could tell if it was from embarassment or anger.
Austria hummed slightly in agreement with his neighbour. "I must agree with Germany in this matter, dearest. This is hardly appropriate behaviour." he chided non-committally, refusing to look at Hungary as she glared half-heartedly at both him and Germany.
"Forgive me, Hungary-san. America-kun swore me to secrecy as he wanted this to be a complete surprise for England-san."
"Would you all quiet down!" Northern Ireland hissed, bringing attention to the fact that all England's siblings were eavesdropping intently at the door Arthur had forcibly dragged Alfred through moments before. Carlyn and Tadhg wore matching manic grins while Wales had a rare smirk playing across his normally quite blank features. "Arthur stopped yellin and we can't hear what's going on with all your chatter!" Cahir huffed with a roll of his eyes.
However, before anything more could be said, heard or done, Arthur threw the door back open - his hair far messier than before and his face wearing an identical flush to America who sauntered in behind him. "What, pray tell, were you all doing there?" arthur snapped at his siblings who proceeded to crowd him relentlessly. Scotland and Wales slid strong arms around his shoulders while the Irelands grinned playfully right in front of his face.
"Making sure you didn't murder our second-favourite nephew of course." Carlyn crooned. "Now, baby brother, do you care to tell us how come you're looking so flustered all of a sudden?"
America laughed heartily, slapping Arthur between his shoulder-blades. "/he said yes - of course! I mean how could he resist someone as gorgeous and heroic as I am?" There was a short pause where a realisation dawned on the young nation, completely drowning out Arthur's name-calling. "Hey! How come I'm only your second-favourite nephew? Who could possibly come before me? Don't tell me it's Josh!"
Scotland guffawed and led Alfred back to his seat. "Don't worry about it, my bonny laddie. Don't give it a second thought." he said soothingly while throwing a wink at Canada who had been sitting patiently in his seat, waiting to be acknowledged as usual. The less out-going of the two brothers smiled gratefully at his uncle.
Germany stood up and cleared his throat. "My congratulations to you both. Now if you would all kindly return to your seats let's try and actually get something productive done in this meeting."
Hungary giggled loudly at that. "Oh, Ludwig. I think that's the most productive result we'll get from a World Meeting, darling."
Even though her comment prompted a loud reunion between Germany's palm and his face, Ludwig had to agree with her on that. Not that it stopped him from trying, though. "Hey, Germany? Is it time for pasta, yet? I'm really hungry..." Key word in that sentence being 'trying'.
A/N: Here you go, I hope you enjoyed this! I found out while writing this one-shot that I'm not very good at writing humour but I gave it a go! Also there is currently no referendum for Scottish Independece (YET!) that's just something I threw in for the sake of doing so and for the sake of my Scottish pride.
Alec Salmond is the First Minister for Scotland, basically he's the main dude over there in Edinburgh's Holyrood, and he's amazing to watch on the TV. Even for someone like me who tends to avoid politics. Over here it's great to watch though, it's basically all glorified diss-offs. It's fantastic, especially at election time. I don't know about anywhere else but that's what it's like here.
Thanks for being an amazing reviewer angels!