A/N: Ok, so I haven't written anything in FOREVER. So here you go; a Spring Awakening parody. I don't own Spring Awakening. Or Blake Bashoff. But that would rock.
Act I
Audience: Oooh, ahh, you can see the stage. And people sitting on chairs!
Cast: *runs onstage*
Audience: Oooh, pretty.
Wendla: *climbs on chair*
Wendla: Ok, so my mom basically, like, ignores me. Let's sing a song with religious references to express my angst!
Frau Bergman: Wendla, your sister had se…I mean…the stork brought her a baby girl! Yay!
Wendla: Mmmkay…but I wasn't done angsting, Mama!
Frau Bergman: Too bad. Now get…clothes…on and let's go.
Wendla: But Mamaaaaa, I have to ask you where babies come from!
Frau Bergman: ……………
Wendla: Mama?
Frau Bergman: …………
Wendla: Mama, stop with the ellipses!
Frau Bergman: Oh fine, fine. Babies are…well…I mean…*mutters something about love*
Wendla: What's that, Mama?
Frau Bergman: Love…whole…
Wendla: What, Mama?
Frau Bergman: Mmkay, you're educated.
Wendla: Mamaaaaaa!
Girls: Let us angst with you, Wendla!
Wendla: Mmm…ok…*takes random microphone from Anna*
Girls: No sleep in Heaven, or BEEEEEEETHLEEEHEEEEM! *hit high notes*
Boys: *run onstage*
Teacher: Blah blah Latin, blah…
Moritz: *snore*
Teacher: NO SLEEPING IN CLASS!
Moritz: Huh wazzit?!
Teacher: Recite…
Moritz: Oh, right. *makes mistake*
Teacher: Rawrrrr.
Melchior: IF YOU PLEASE!
Teacher: *smacks him* ONLY I CAN BE RIGHT!
Melchior: *sigh* Angst time…another song…
Boys: *recite, oblivious to the fact that Melchior is singing*
Moritz: Melchi, I like, totally had a sexy dream.
Melchior: Annnnnnnd…?
Moritz: AND IT WAS SCARYYYYY *takes out teddy bear*
Melchior: *sigh*
Moritz: *pulls out microphone and begins to ANGST*
Boys: Ooooh, song time! Song time! *angst with Moritz*
Melchior: *joins in towards end of song, because he got bored*
Teacher: *is oblivious this whole time*
Melchior: Fine, Moritz, I'll write ya an essay.
Moritz: ZOMG I LOVE YOU *huggles and kisses Melchior*
Melchior: Dude, I don't swing that way. Hanschen does.
Girls: OMG, like, Melchior is like, the hawttest thing EVERRR.
Martha: I like Moritz…
Thea: *spazzes* MELCHI GABOR! HE'S SUCH A RADICAL!!!! BOW TO HIM!!!!
Martha: ……..
Girls: This actually isn't an angst song!
Georg: *gasp* Piano *gasp* Teacher *gasp* SO HOT.
Hanschen: Mmm, looks like a good time to masturbate…
Girls: *randomly watch Hanschen masturbate??!!!?*
Georg: *is spazzing at the piano with teacher*
Hanschen: *orgy*
Melchior: ANGSTING IN MY JOURNAL!
Moritz: SuperMoritz! Nerrrrr…oh, hi, Melchi.
Melchior: Dude, you look like crap.
Moritz: Oh…well umm about that "essay"…
Melchior: Yeah?
Moritz: I HAD MORE DREAMS.
Melchior: Andddddd….?
Moritz: Mr. Teddy didn't help.
Melchior: *takes microphone out* sort-of-an-angsty-song-but-not-really
Girls and Boys: *sing*
Hanschen: Hey! Why am I the only boy without a solo in this song?!
Other Boys: STFU!
Melchior: *writes in journal again*
Wendla: Melchior?! OMG!
Melchior: Wendla?! OMG!
Wendla: Is it time for the love duet/ballad?
Melchior: 3…2…1…yep.
Wendla and Melchior: *sing said love duet/ballad*
Moritz: I PASSED! *does adorable happy dance that only Blake Bashoff can do*
Boys: ……………….
Moritz: MELCHIOR, I PASSED!
Melchior: Yay!
Moritz: *huggles and kisses Melchior again*
Melchior: DUDE! I DON'T SWING THAT WAY!
Teachers: CONSPIRACY THEORY!
Girls: Martha…?
Martha: Yeah?
Girls: Do you get abused?
Martha: ………..
Girls: We'll take the ellipses as a "yes".
Martha: Look at my bruisal bruise!
Anna: ZOMG! We must help!
Martha: *ignores her and sings angsty song*
Ilse: Finally! My solo part! Unless you count that part in Mama Who Bore Me (reprise).
Martha: OMG, you get abused, too! Soul sista!
Melchior: MUST…ANGST…IN…JOURNAL…
Wendla: Melchior?
Melchior: Here we go again…*gets microphone ready*
Wendla: No, that part comes later. Will you beat me?
Melchior: WTF?
Wendla: Oh sorry, will you PLEASE beat me?
Melchior: Hell, no!
Wendla: But…
Melchior: *loses control and beats her*
Wendla: *cries out of her own stupidity*
Moritz: Crap, I failed.
Herr Stiefel: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!
Moritz: Mmm…well…guess I'll just angst with my buds then?
Frau Gabor: I offer no help and ignore your suicide threat!
Moritz: *wanders off with gun*
Audience: Crap, that can't be good.
Melchior: *sings angsty song…again*
Wendla: HIIIIIIIIIIII I'M BAAAAAAAAAACK….
Melchior: GTF OUTTA MY HAYLOFT!
Wendla: No!
Melchior and Wendla: *make out*
Wendla: Ummm….
Melchior: *undresses her*
Wendla: Ok!
Audience Onstage: Ooooh….
Melchior: *drops pants*
Audience Onstage: NICE ASS!
Melchior: *sticks it in Wendla, to put it nicely*
Boys and Girls: *watch them Do It*
Audience: *jaws drop*
Intermission….nothing happens…
Act II
Cast: *runs back onstage*
Audience: Gee, I wonder what's gonna happen ne…
Wendla and Melchior: *reprise sex scene*
Audience: Oh. So that's what…
Wendla: Crap. I just did something with the boy Thea is crushing on.
Thea: AND I WATCHED IT HAPPEN *chases Wendla offstage*
Melchior: *shrugs*
Moritz: TIME FOR MY DUET BITCHEZZZ.
Girls and Boys: *scram*
Moritz: *REALLY angst-es out*
Ilse: I am here to save you!
Moritz: HOLY SHIZNIT A PRETTY GIRL.
Ilse: Yeah, so basically, I was a boho for a little while…
Rent Cast Members: Oooh, she's one of us!
Moritz: GET OUT OF HERE! MY MUSICAL! MINE!
Rent Cast Members: Mmmkay. *leave*
Ilse: Time for my other solo!
Moritz: *gets all sad and defensive*
Ilse: But I'll huggle you and kiss you and call you Georg!
Moritz: …….Georg is my classmate.
Ilse: Oh. Right.
Moritz: *rock-ified*
Ilse: *joins in because she's jealous of previous duet*
Moritz: Buh-bye.
Ilse: WTF?
Moritz: GO. GO NOW AND LEAVE MEEEEEEE!
Ilse: Dude, ok, fine. But I won't be there when you come back.
Moritz: *blam*
Girls and Boys: *cry*
Melchior: *guilt trip*
Herr Stiefel: *is being guilt tripped*
Teachers: CONSPIRACY THEORY DOS!
Melchior: Fuck.
Boys and Girls: YAY! ANGST SONG!
Melchior: FUCK YOU!
Teachers: ZOMG. But this song is catchy…screw it, let's dance.
Cast: *flips off audience*
Audience: YAY!
Ernst: La la la, look at the pretty flowers!
Hanschen: Dude, kiss me.
Ernst: ………….
Hanschen: *kisses Ernst*
Ernst: HOLY CRAP!
Hanschen: Mmmm yes baby.
Ernst: I LOVE YOU ZOMG!!
Hanschen: Duh. Everyone does *is creepy*
Wendla: *feels sick*
Frau Bergman: Something ain't right here.
Doctor: She's knocked up.
Frau Bergman: WHAT?!
Doctor: SHE'S. PREGNANT.
Frau Bergman: SHIT.
Wendla: But…I…ohshiz.
Frau Bergman: *slap-ify!*
Wendla: Time to share my inner monologue!
Frau and Herr Gabor: REFORM!
Melchior: Whatever.
Boys in Reform School: * "game" time*
Melchior: Ummm….
Frau Bergman: Bye-bye baby.
Melchior: *is in trouble*
Wendla: *is dragged off* WTF MAMA…THIS ISN'T THE CANDY STORE!
Melchior: *is SuperMelchi, and escapes*
Girls: Shizzz, he doesn't knowwwww….
Melchior: La la la, walking in a cemetery, la la la.
Melchior: *sees Wendla's grave and spazzes*
Moritz: WOOOO, I AM A GHOST.
Wendla: WOOOO, I AM TOO.
Melchior: *razor…*
Moritz and Wendla: OMG NO!
Melchior: *angst-es for the last time*
Ilse: Am I supposed to be singing the Broadway version or Soundtrack?
Everyone: BROADWAY!
Ilse: Oh, ok. That one's better anyway.
Entire Cast: *sings pretty a cappella part*
Audience: *claps*