Leaving A Mark

by LilyGhost

After an attack, Stephanie learns that she can't spend the rest of her life hiding, especially from the man determined to love and help her.

Everybody and everything familiar belongs to Janet. The mistakes are mine alone.

Sure ... the knife-slices running down the outside and inside of my arm are scary to look at even though they're healing, but I think it's the change in me after what caused them ... is what's truly horrible. I've become jumpy, paranoid, draining, and most of my happy feelings have been replaced with terror like I feel every night when I close my eyes and relive every second of it until I hear Ranger's voice and feel his arms come around me to settle me back down.

If I'm being honest with myself, I experience absolute terror during daylight hours, too. Which is why I didn't argue when Ranger insisted I come here to his apartment right after I got patched up at St. Francis and gave my postponed statement to a few officers who thankfully weren't Morelli. Over two weeks have passed, and I haven't once brought up checking on the damage, and likely repair, done to my apartment. I'm protected here and I'm in no hurry to leave.

I'd like to think that my family is glad that I'm still alive, but on top of retreating to Rangeman, I quickly and voluntarily gave up my phone privileges unless I see it's Grandma or Mary Lou calling. My mom didn't appreciate having a picture of the flames shooting out of my apartment windows on the front page of the Burg's newspaper.

Even worse than that in her mind is me choosing to stay with Ranger instead of going to their house until my place is livable again. She couldn't - and still doesn't - get that I don't feel safe in the Burg. Even before this, I've noticed that my body and mind only feel secure when I'm with - or near - Ranger. And despite the rumors and insults I had to hear before I ditched my phone, I'm planning on staying here for as long as he can stand having me for a roommate.

What's ironic is that the day of the attack, I'd actually been minding my own business, giving Rex a thumbs-up for keeping up with his workouts when I'd planned on calling Ranger the next morning to try once again to get out of mine. The next thing I knew, I'd heard the glass break out of my living room window and saw a Moltov cocktail suddenly lighting my carpet on fire. All I could do was blink, swear, and then quickly grab Rex's aquarium to get the hell out of there before I faced a similar fate as my crappy carpet.

I'd clumsily flipped the locks on my front door and wasted no time opening it, only to bump into someone I had the misfortune of recognizing. 'Hacker' Melee had been my skip twice, once for hacking into a computer system that belonged to a bank on State Street. The second arrest was for attempting to hack up his best friend with a machete for not paying off a two-hundred-dollar debt fast enough to suit him.

Neither capture had gone well, and they both ended with him threatening to 'make me pay'. After saying it to me the first time as he was being led away by Carl, I never saw him again until he smiled cockily up at me from a mugshot in the file Connie had handed me almost an entire year later. I didn't give him another thought after I left him at the TPD the second time, but dismissing him almost got me killed.

After the explosive sailed through my window, he'd been waiting at my door for when I panicked and ran out to safety. He managed to get in two good swipes at my arm with a filet knife - luckily he hadn't been wielding the machete or I could be missing a body part right now - as I tried to fend him off while not dropping Rex. Carrying my roommate's cage actually helped save my life, because the way I'd been holding it protected everything vital from my chest up.

Hacker hadn't known, and neither did I at the time, that a snitch Rangeman uses regularly who was looking for the boss to owe him a favor, called in a tip to Tank saying I was about to be ambushed. I got cut, but the attack stopped then and there as Ranger appeared behind him like my own personal avenging angel. Let's just say, Hacker will never threaten anybody ever again, but watching another person die right in front of me added to my nightmares. And having to take someone's life to save mine, hasn't made Ranger sleep any better, though I think we've been helping each other get some rest.

I know my arm will heal with only a few thin scars on it, but it's made me self-conscious ... not that I'll have another scar or two on my body, but it reminds me of what could've happened if Ranger hadn't shown up when he did. I didn't know until afterwards that Tank had been in my lot 'subduing' the asshole Hacker had brought along to toss the firebomb as he took up position at my front door so he could stab-and-go before getting injured himself. He got a lot more than hurt. I still don't know who the sidekick is or where he ended up after Tank grabbed him, and I haven't worked up the energy to care. More concerning than that, I'm still freaked out that something like that could happen to me again.

'Isolated incidents' do occur. And as the name suggests ... they are isolated, but not when I'm involved. Knowing that he'll never come near me again hasn't stopped the sleep-loss at night or the knotted-up stomach that I've been experiencing every day since I became the star in a real life nightmare. The attack was scary, and unprovoked in my opinion, but in Hacker's psycho mind I was to blame for him needing to go back to jail. Seconds before I felt the sting of his knife separating my skin, he screamed that no one disrespects him, and I guess a punch to his gut right before I cuffed him at the first capture, and an elbow to the head at the second one, qualified as disrespectful actions towards him.

Ranger has always looked beyond my physical appearance and my knack for bringing trouble home with me, but I can feel the worry pouring off him when he looks at me. I'm taking longer to bounce back this time, and I know it's frustrating to him because he can't fix this for me since my own head is the actual problem. All my safeguards have been put firmly into place and even I can admit that I've just been hiding out in his building.

The guys of course have noticed and the glances I catch them giving me are sympathetic. The eye-cuts they shoot each other, though, are of the more pissed variety. They don't take men treating women like shit very well, never mind an asshole taking a knife to the one Ranger loves. They seem to be suffering from a serious case of guilt for not being able to completely prevent me from getting hurt. They're coping in their own way by giving me daily lessons in the gun range downstairs so I'll feel more comfortable carrying and using mine. They're also teaching me some basic self-defensive and hand-to-hand combat moves to protect myself better next time.

On top of all that, they've been taking their turns keeping me company and telling me abbreviated versions of what their lives were like before they found a home and family here at Rangeman. Hearing what they've survived themselves, gave me the morale boost a loaded gun couldn't. If they could survive everything they have, I can get myself over this little mental hurdle.

My partner in crime, as well as in bed, will be done work and be up here soon. Knowing that though, didn't stop my jump at the lock being turned, or the rush of adrenaline that followed that told me to get as far away from the door as I possibly can. I know no one can get past the front gate, let alone all the way up to Ranger's apartment, so I do get how stupid it is to still be scared, but that didn't lessen the throat-squeezing emotion taking over my body again.

As he routinely does when he comes in, Ranger gave me a very thorough kiss that would instantly turn hot if I curled my fingers into the waistband of his cargo pants right above his zipper. I did do exactly that. I may be a scaredy cat, but I'm not a total idiot. Any opportunity I get to touch Batman, I'm going to take now. Aside from adding a second, equally toe-curling kiss to the first, he let my mouth go.

"You stayed in the building again today," he said, not breaking the contact my hands are still enjoying, he just rested his hip against the sideboard as we talked.

"Yeah. I didn't have to go in search of take-out. While you and Tank were hauling in Madden, Vince came back from a patrol with a ton of Chinese food, so I felt I had to help him and the guys eat it. I tried to save you some of that steamed broccoli/plain brown rice crap you like, but Lester poured duck sauce all over it and proceeded to shovel it into his face so fast, he made me look like a dainty eater."

"You're going into week three, Steph."

I went still. This is what I was afraid of. He's either going to kick me out or call me out on my sudden door aversion. One scenario is only slightly worse than the other. I looked down at the carpet, but only for a second because he never let's me get away with avoiding a serious subject.

"Babe."

I picked my head up and faced this like a Rangeguy. "I tell myself that I'll go check on my apartment, or head over to the Shop N Bag and get stuff to restock my snack cabinet here, but something always comes up to distract me ... and I let it."

"You can't stay hidden forever."

"Because you want your apartment back?"

Hmmm, who knew asking for a relationship clarification would be easier than facing a stupid fear?

"I've considered this apartment your safe haven long before you used it as one due to the Slayers," he told me, easing the tension in a large part of my brain. "And I have no intention of letting you go back to that rat trap, which has as much to do with my fear as yours, but I want you to feel safe coming and going from my building, not just inside it."

"I'm not trying to avoid that comment, but have you ever noticed that between Ella, Louis, and the guys, a person can live here forever and never have to step foot outside?"

"You could, but I never want you to feel that you are limited in any way. Get changed, we're going somewhere tonight."

I could feel my skin get clammy at the thought of having to go out. I'd been in a complete terror-induced daze when he got me out of my building weeks ago, and I could clearly see Bobby and Hal through the lobby door when we arrived here after the St. Francis run, so I wasn't scared coming in ... going out now is a whole other matter.

"You've tried really hard for a long time to get me into your apartment, and now you're trying to bribe me into leaving it?" I asked him.

"I don't have to bribe you. If I tell you where we're going, you'll be too curious to stay at home despite the fear you feel."

"Really? Are you finally going to show me where the Bat Cave is?"

"I'll show you that one after you agree verbally that you're living with me permanently," he said, sealing that promise with a hard kiss to my lips.

"You're tempting me again."

"I always tempt you and I'll always love you no matter what happens ... so get dressed, my mother wants to meet you and now feels like the right time."

My head drew back so fast, I feared whiplash. "You seriously think now, when my thinking and reasoning is impaired, is the best time to meet the woman who made you?"

"Yes. Not only does she want to get to know the woman who got me to settle closer to home, she's lived through a similar situation that she doesn't often discuss, but she wants to with you because she thinks it will help."

"Oh great, a double whammy ... using your mother as a lure while dangling a mystery in front of my nose."

"I know all your motivational shortcuts."

I sighed and then I tried to channel my inner Ranger. 'I can do this!' I'll just walk down the stairs because the elevator still scares me out a little, which has helped my jeans fit better so that's a plus. Once I'm downstairs, I'll wind like a vine onto Batman and step through the building's front entrance. He knows me well ... almost too well. As freaked out as I am about everything right now, I would never turn down an invitation to his parents' home. This is a huge step, not only for me after Hacker, but for Ranger and I as a legitimate couple.

"We're going to Newark?" I asked.

"Yes."

My curiosity would never let me pass this up no matter how much I'd like to throw up right now.

"You'll be okay, Steph. You're a lot tougher than you give yourself credit for."

"If I am, it wouldn't have taken me two weeks to leave your building."

"But you're willing to leave it now."

I sighed. "Yeah ... I am."

"Proud of you, Babe."

"You might want to save saying that until I'm actually sitting inside your car. It's possible that I'll wet myself at the front door, need to change, and completely chicken out once I'm back up here."

"That won't happen."

"If you say so," I told him.

"I do, which makes it a fact."

This time I kissed him. "Give me twenty minutes to get ready."

"You're perfect as is, just switch out the uniform for jeans."

I gave him an eyeroll and he grinned at the familiar gesture that's been absent for longer than it should've been. I reluctantly let him and his pants go and went to go figure out how to look 'normal', not only to his parents, but also the guys who I know will be hanging around in the lobby once word spreads that I'm 'leaving the nest' ... at least for the night.

I want to make a good impression, yet not appear like I'm trying too hard to impress the Manosos, which I am. I don't think Ranger would dump me even if his family completely hated me, but I don't want him ever having to choose between me and someone or something he loves. I know firsthand how bad it sucks having that kind of ultimatum shoved at you, and I swore I'd never do that to someone I love. And I love Ranger so much, it'd be terrifying if I thought about it instead of just accepting it.

I chose dark jeans and a soft, off-white sweater with sleeves long enough to cover my injured arm. I added black heels and went into the bathroom to check how the minimal makeup I'd put on this morning held up. My face looked slightly thinner and paler, but I can't do anything about that so I just added another coat of mascara and a rose-pink lipstick and deemed myself okay enough for a public appearance.

I'd finished in time to catch Ranger peeling off his Rangeman t-shirt in the bedroom. Damn, if I wouldn't have taken so long, I would've seen the cargos coming off. Not that I can find a fault with getting to look at only his bare and painstakingly-muscled torso. If anything will get me through tonight, it's knowing that I'll get to take those clothes off his big body when we get back. I leaned against the door jamb leading into the bathroom and watched him slide on a white dress shirt and start buttoning it up.

"Would you like to help?" He asked me, correctly sensing that he's my current fascination.

I shook my head. "No. I'm much better at undoing your shirts than buttoning them up."

"Later," he promised. "Are you really okay about going out?"

"Yes and no."

"Yes, because you want to see who and where I come from? And no, because you're scared to leave the security of Rangeman?"

"Yep. I may not be perfect, but I am resilient. I'll figure this out. I always do."

"And I'll be right beside you helping any way I can."

I smiled. "I know you will, and I love you for it ... and for a ton of other things."

"You ready?"

"All my clothes are changed."

"I see that ... and you look beautiful, but that isn't what I was asking."

"My body wants to get over this, but my mind is holding on with a death grip."

"It'll release the claws it has in you when it's time. We'll see how it goes downstairs. If you feel more stressed than usual, we'll postpone this."

"You can't rain check a Mom," I told him, for once being the voice of reason.

"I'd be happy if you'd rain check yours for the rest of her life, but my mother won't mind if we set up another time. She wants what's best for you. She'd like to make you feel better, not damage you further. If we can't make it there tonight, she'll come here tomorrow. Forcing you to do anything has never been my goal."

"Jeez, I've never met her before and just like her son, she's already taking better care of me than my own mom."

"Any person who calls their child after an attempt on that child's life and immediately starts bitching about a fucking newspaper picture, can't be called a 'Mom' in my opinion."

My mother is a sore subject with Ranger. I've gotten good at blocking her out, but he can barely tolerate her existence on the planet after she chose to ask God 'Why Me?' instead of asking me if I was okay as I was being looked at in an ER room. Time to change the subject.

"How many guys are on the first floor?" I asked him.

"Cal, Hal, Bobby, Bones, and Hector, suddenly decided Gene needed reinforcements at the front desk."

"Gene? Or me?"

"You, but they don't want you to know that."

I circled his waist with my arms and kissed his jaw. "I'm glad they care so much, but for a bunch of stealthy military guys, they aren't real subtle when it comes to me."

"They don't have to be subtle when you're involved. We all share the common goal of making sure you're always alright, so they feel comfortable expressing concern even when they're not coming right out and saying they're worried about you."

"I may have shitty luck, but I am really lucky. Not everyone gets to have you and the guys watching out for them. You just said exactly what I needed to hear."

"Don't punish or torture yourself to spare others, Steph."

"I'm not. I'm pushing myself out of my comfort zone because others know I can handle it."

His lips twitched before he bent his head to ruin my lipstick. I moved my arms from his waist to his neck and held on. I'm not concerned about my makeup at all. I can do touch-ups in the car if I need to. Ranger pulled back and gave one of my loose curls a gentle tug.

"My parents are going to love you," he assured me.

"I hope so."

I let him lead me to the front door. I grabbed a jacket and my bag so I wouldn't latch onto him as we made it out one door and faced another to the stairwell. Going down and then back up seven flights of stairs in heels isn't going to be fun, but it's still preferable to the agonizing seconds I'd be sweating out waiting for the elevator to open twice and show me no one was standing there ready to attack me again. The stairwell isn't a whole lot better, but at least I have the option of running back up the stairs if I need to.

As Ranger stated, the lobby was full of activity, and I could see Lester and Ramon loitering just outside the front door. They're both holding to-go coffee cups from different restaurants in their hands and appearing as if they'd just bumped into each other and were catching up on their days.

"God, I love those guys," I told Ranger, coming to an immediate stop on the ground floor as I checked out my cheering section.

"They love you, too, Steph. This is just one way they show it."

"I'll repeat my earlier 'I'm lucky' comment. They're following us to Newark, aren't they?"

"Only Lester and Ramon will be circling the area. It's likely Tank will drop by not long after we arrive. My mother enjoys getting on his case when she hasn't seen with her own eyes at least once a week that he isn't starving to death without her food sustaining him."

"I knew at least two guys would be tailing us. If I didn't know I'd be okay before, I do now. If I don't get over this soon, you guys are all going to exhaust yourselves trying to take care of me."

"I have no doubt that you'll dismantle any obstacle in your path, but I would breathe easier if it happened sooner rather than later."

"I'm going to get over my door phobia right now if it kills me."

"Babe."

I winced. "Sorry. Poor word choice."

"No one's killing you on my watch ... and I will be watching you indefinitely."

"Apparently, so will they," I said, tipping my head in the direction of where the Rangeguys were trying to appear like they aren't looking at me.

"They're also worried about you. They were pissed that I took out Hacker and Tank was able to get his hands on the accomplice. They wanted a piece of both."

"The guys have all been so sweet to me, I sometimes forget what they're trained to do."

"They protect those they care about ... with feeling or deadly force depending on the situation. And you're someone every one of them cares about."

"I could get used to being considered a Rangegirl."

"RangeWoman, Babe."

I smiled at him and then went to prove that I can live up to the name.

"Thanks for the show of support, Guys," I told the lobby-inhabitants, "but I'm okay. I can do this."

"We know you can, Steph," Bobby said, "that's why we're all here ... to see you do it."

I turned to Ranger. "If we ever break up, I'm hiring a good lawyer and going for sole custody of your men."

"I'm not concerned. You know better than to end things with me."

"That's true. You're more a part of me than my scratched-up arm."

"Those aren't 'scratches'," Bones added. "They're impressive battle wounds."

"Thanks for reminding me."

"Sorry."

"I'm kidding. It isn't the physical wounds I'm worried about. Scars are much better than the alternative ... is what I'm telling myself."

"That's a good way of looking at this, Steph," Cal told me.

"Thanks. It's clearly working for me, because I got a date tonight despite how I look or feel."

"A date you're late for," Hector said with his adorable accent. "We'll escort you out."

"That's sweet, but not necessary."

"It is," was his final answer.

I shrugged, origami-ed myself around Ranger's arm, and took a deep breath, willing my eyes to stay open so I wouldn't look like a total chickenshit in front of everyone by not peeking until it's over. 'It's okay, Stephanie,' I mentally told myself. 'Ramon and Lester are outside, and all my guys are making up my current surroundings. They can smell a sniper scope ten miles away, and their instincts make my Spidey Sense seem like just an involuntary hiccup by comparison. No one can hurt me right now unless I allow them to.'

It was pretty good as far as pep talks go, but it only got me three-feet closer to the glass front door. I saw my panicked face reflected in it and I became pissed as well as scared.

"Take a breath," Ranger told me.

"I did."

"Then why are you so pale?"

"You can blame my parents for that. I was born with a vampire's complexion."

"That's the Steph we know and love," Lester said.

He's not the most patient guy and he got tired of making fake small talk outside. He poked his head inside in time to catch my comment. Being the 'gentleman' he is, he was still holding the door open so I could go through it.

Hector and Cal decided to move as well, and they slid past us 'to cover' the garage. Did I mention that I love these guys?

"This is stupid," I said to myself, but failed to keep it internal.

"How you feel is never stupid," Ranger told me. "If you can't do this, we'll try again tomorrow and every day after until you no longer have to think about it."

"No. To say I've wondered what your family's like would be understating things a whole hell of a lot. I'll be damned if I let Hacker take the chance to find out away from me."

I let him go and walked out ahead of him in spite of my racing heart and sweaty palms and armpits. I got three steps past Ramon, who had more patience than Lester and stayed outside, and turned right around when I heard the sound of clapping along with quite a few encouraging yet ear-piercing whistles. The smartass side of my personality came out and I did an exaggerated bow as if I'd just completed an impressive magic trick.

"Nice work, Houdini," my guy said.

"Are you reading my mind again?"

"Only that thought."

Hard to tell if he was kidding or not. I waved a thanks and a goodbye to his men and didn't spare the door another glance. Going back through it will be much easier ... I hope. Hector and Cal exchanged a few words with Lester and Ramon before they all got into their respective vehicles. I don't know if we're getting a motorcade-esque escort to the Manoso family home, and I refuse to ask in case the answer is an emphatic yes.

On the way to Ranger's Porsche, he took my hand in his much larger one before speaking again.

"How are you doing?" He asked.

"I'm good," I promised him, placing my free hand over my heart for dramatic effect. He kept up with the laser beam-stare thing until I started to squirm. "Okay ... so I'm still jumpy. I tell myself it's dumb ... but this doesn't feel easy or normal."

"Normal is overrated."

"Not in this case. I hate being controlled by anything, and I let that asshole keep me prisoner even though he's dead and can't hurt me again."

"What isn't there can still haunt you, Steph. Trust me on that one, but I'd like for you to be able to stop fearing life and start enjoying it again."

"Arranging something like this for me is helping me do that," I assured him.

"Tonight's only the beginning of how I plan on turning your life around."

"Big talk, Batman."

"I back up all my threats with actions, Babe."

I know Ranger doesn't bluff and I'm looking forward to seeing those particular 'threats' carried out. Now that I'm outside and have Range Men as far as the eye can see, I can breathe again. I was actually smiling when I sat my ass in the passenger's seat.

"You look more relaxed," he said, after he slid behind the wheel.

"I am. I think I gave myself enough time to lick my wounds and mentally regroup, which made me actually want to attempt this ... as opposed to this morning when I was considering oatmeal just so I wouldn't have to go out for doughnuts."

"You ate Ella's oatmeal on purpose?" He asked.

His dark eyes clearly said he didn't believe that one, but since his day started much earlier than mine, he didn't know for sure.

"Of course not. My hero, in the form of Hal this time, stopped at Italian Peoples Bakery on his way into work and got me two 'bear claws' for breakfast. That's why he was sticking close to Gene and staying quiet in there. He didn't want to draw your attention in case I ratted him out."

"I'm pretending I didn't hear any of this."

"Why? They had almond stuff inside them. Aren't almonds supposed to be a health nut's nut?"

"Not when they're sitting inside a bakery," he stated.

"Yeah, I bet baker's nuts are probably bigger and sweeter than regular ones."

He wanted to laugh, I can tell.

"What were we talking about?" I asked, to let him off the humor hook.

"I was about to tell you that you've been doing well with processing what happened. It takes a lot longer for some people to move past a trauma."

"You've said so yourself ... I'm strong and more than a little stubborn. Once I'm knocked down, it may take me a minute or two to get back up, but I always do."

"You do," he confirmed.

He pulled out of the garage and we spent the hour drive to Newark with me trying to ease a new case of nerves by pelting him with questions about his parents and siblings. He pulled into the driveway of a three-story, slate gray house that he told me is considered an American Foursquare. I know nothing about that kind of stuff, but I can see that the Manoso home is exactly that ... a home. It's a pretty place with white trim that looked really good against the gray siding. All the lights his parents had put on inside made the space feel inviting even from out here.

The front door opened before we even made it to the last porch step which had brought us to a small triangular overhang that was supported by two white columns. Though I can't explain why, I felt instantly welcomed by the couple who look like Ranger, yet different. Mrs. Manoso had a smile on her face that appeared warm and genuine ... not at all forced or fake. Her hair's almost black like her son's, but I saw no trace of the gray hair I'd imagined stress causing, having a man like Ranger for a son.

Every time he was 'in the wind', I swear I didn't take a full breath until he was back home and holding me again. Ranger's dad has a few silver hairs sneaking in between the dark strands, but they added to his overall good looks. Seeing his parents together made it clear why Ranger is so freakin' hot. With those genes, there was no way of going wrong.

"It's about time we get to meet you, Stephanie," Mrs. Manoso said, giving me a lingering hug I hadn't been expecting. "Please come in and make yourself at home."

"I'm happy to be finally meeting you both, too," I told them, getting a hug from Ranger's dad as well, before we were gestured inside once their son was given the same treatment.

"I have the dining room table all set," I was told by his mom, "and you get to decide what we will be having for dinner. Are you in the mood for something savory or sweet?"

"My wife is clearly out to impress you," Mr. Manoso said. "She spent the afternoon recreating her mother's traditional Easter dinner ... Mango and Orange Brown Sugar Baked Ham, with a side of Manchego Macaroni and Cheese ... with plenty of Chorizo mixed into it, along with the required salad and Creamed Plantain Soup. For dessert, we have a 14-layer chocolate cake with fudge frosting inside and out."

"Someone shared with us that you have an affinity for macaroni and cheese and chocolate cake," his mom told me, "so I thought I would include both and create a real Manoso family dinner for you."

"We can actually eat dessert before dinner?" I asked the room. "Though it's almost impossible to choose between mac & cheese and chocolate cake. Is this a test?"

"There are no tests to pass or fail here," Ranger's dad said. "We want you to like us so you'll convince our son to visit more often, not just send Pierre."

I don't want Tank to regret helping Ranger save me, so I'm not asking any of the questions that are dying to shoot out of my mouth. Instead, I glanced at Ranger ... wondering why they think I have the power to get him to do what he didn't already decide to do.

"They're not above bribery themselves," he told me. "Where do you think I get it from?"

"I love this family already, since I appreciate that kind of sneakiness in a person," I said to them all, as Ranger pulled out a chair for me in the dining room which was right off the most amazing-smelling kitchen.

"I've been waiting all day to cut into that cake. I'll go get us each a piece of it," Mr. Manoso told us. "This conversation will require cake and maybe a glass of wine ...?"

"Sounds good to me," I said.

"Carlos has told us a few off the details about what went on that day, your injury, and what you've been dealing with now," his mom began. "While I freely admit to not being above bribery, my thoughts were more focused on making this visit an enjoyable one for you."

"Consider that already done."

"I shared only a few of your soft spots," Ranger said into my ear.

"Just when I think you can't get anymore perfect, you do something like this for me," I said back.

He kissed my temple and his mom first smiled at us, then at her husband when he put the last of the plates and glasses in front of us. I noticed that Ranger was given a healthy-looking fruit crisp instead of chocolate cake. They obviously know their son and respect his choices, even with me being one of them. I took a bite of my cake but wished I hadn't when Mrs. Manoso started to speak.

"When Carlos was a little over two-years-old and his sister Celia was in preschool," she said to me, "I was trying to get some laundry done and supper started while he was napping, when someone rang our doorbell. I had been expecting a friend who said she'd be stopping by, but the two of us being mothers of very young children ... we tried never to use the doorbell in case it woke up a little one who was sleeping."

My stomach was back to feeling queasy for a different reason. "I really, really hope you're about to say that it was just your friend who'd had her hands full with snacks and kid stuff so she couldn't have opened the door without your help."

She smiled and reached out to squeeze my non-injured arm. The comforting gesture had me feeling a teeny bit better. Whatever happened to her, it's obvious that she's dealt with it and put it behind her.

"I wish. Carlos was strong-willed even as a baby, especially when it came to getting him down for any type of sleep. I didn't want my tiny man disturbed, so I quickly opened the door ... only to find a gun pointing at my forehead."

"Oh my God," I whispered, as I watched Ranger and his dad each take one of her hands.

Ranger curled his other hand around the inside of my thigh. The past two weeks have shown me that support, respect, encouragement, and protection, are the principles Rangeman has been founded on. Watching his parents interact had me understanding exactly why Ranger is the man he is today.

"That's what I said at the time," she continued. "I was six months pregnant then with his sister Rosary, named for my mother in case you don't already know that, so I had two babies to protect at home and one at school, as well as myself. There was no way I was allowing my Celia to be told that Mama had been killed while she'd been happily finger painting me something beautiful, unaware of the danger I was in. My mind wouldn't let me even consider my precious baby boy growing up without me or the baby sister he was already so excited about."

"What did you do?" I asked, but I was scared to hear what happened next.

"It wasn't as bad as it could have been. I immediately tried to block my stomach with the door as I attempted to close it before he could get a foot inside. I knew being shot in the head could have ended the pregnancy just as easily, but ..."

"That's understandable. Your first thought was to protect your baby."

"I wish I could claim that I'd had a clear plan in place, but I was acting on pure instinct ... and a whole lot of fear. Thankfully, whatever the man had in mind for me remained inside it. My friend Joselle, who is also Carlos' Godmother, did arrive like I had been expecting. She was late because her husband had managed to get the day off, and he was going to drop her off and then pick up their son while he was out so she'd be able to visit longer with me. Having two eyewitnesses to testify at a first-degree murder trial had the gun-holder rethinking doing anything beyond scaring me. He took off running, but Arie - Joselle's husband and Carlos' Godfather - was and still is a lot like my boys here. He chased the man down, tackled him, and held onto him until the cops Joselle had called arrived."

"I shouldn't joke about this, but if your son hadn't been so young, he would've been right behind his Godfather," I said, looking at Ranger while remembering all the times he's rescued me before and after Hacker.

"We didn't want our kids to ever feel frightened in their own home," Mr. Manoso added, "so we chose not to discuss it in front of them."

"Going to school with kids who lived in our neighborhood," Ranger told me, "meant they couldn't protect us from rumors that still circulate, especially when they're true. It took a few years, but we all learned what had happened ..."

"We didn't always make the right decisions on how to handle certain matters," his mom said, holding her son's eyes, "but we always have our children's best interests at heart."

"We know," he told her.

"I hope so. Afterwards, I was afraid to be at home alone. And I made sure if anyone was planning to come over, they had to call first or I would refuse to open the door. I began using the back door instead of coming in through the front door, insisting everyone do the same, which really upset me because the front porch is what had me convinced this would be our family's home. That small change in my routine took extra time I already didn't have, and my days became a lot more work with two small children to get in and out of the house everyday. But with patience, love, and plenty of understanding, my family got me through it ... and we'd like to do the same for you."

"You aren't alone, Babe," Ranger said, picking up where his mom left off. "There is always someone who will understand what you're going through. You've seen how my men stick together because almost all of them have had similar experiences. You're one of us now - part of this family and the one at Rangeman - and we are all going to help you get back to blowing up cars or buildings ... from an extremely safe distance with plenty of backup around you."

Even though his parents were watching, I leaned over and kissed him lightly on the mouth. Bad things happen to people everyday. I'm not special because something horrible happened to me, but to have people like Ranger, my Merry Men, and now the Manosos, in my life ... really brings home just how lucky I am that I didn't die that day. I'd been given a second chance to live ... if only I'd fully allow myself to.