This is a list of fifty things that turn Lord Voldemort on (as in sexually). I might put some in my upcoming stories of people think I should:
* The honking noise that Canada geese make. Which is why he honks himself because he's trying to imitate them
* His own face
* Long toenails
* Torturing people by singing loud opera
* Professor McGonagall in fish nets and lingerie
* Professor McGonagall in fish nets and lingerie honking like a goose
* Watching Nagini eating a Muggle's face
* Nagini in general
* The Hogwarts Express
* Ruling over the wizarding world and forcing everyone to wear vampiric bagels on their heads that suck their blood and kill them horribly
* Subservient Dumbledore in a gimp mask
* Snake bondage with thousands of little flickery snake tongues
* The Giant Squid that lives into the lake near Hogwarts and dreams of raucous sex with said squid
* His horcruxed butt-plug (from my other story Harry Potter Finds Voldemort's Butt Plug)
* Lucius Malfoy in a spiky pink chastity belt with a strap on unicorn horn
* The décor in the kitchen in Azkaban
* The Twilight Saga
* Harry Potter pickled in a jar
* Sex with giant toads in the bayous of Louisiana
* Filch's collection of well oiled thumbscrews
* Tying Snape to medieval torture devices in Snape's secret sex dungeon and covering him in Nutella®
* The sound of screaming
* Dragons mating
* Hagrid's chest hair
* The liberating feeling of donglessness
* The thought of what the centaurs did to Umbridge when they kidnapped her
* When the Basilisk was going to devour Harry Potter
* Laughing retardedly like he does in the movie like this - "EH HEHE!"
* Toilets and diarrhea
* The things Ginny wrote in his diary
* Igor Karkaroff's beard and the thought of becoming horribly tangled and lost in it
* The feeling when your extremities go all wrinkly in the bath
* The feeling when part of your body just rots and falls off (leprosy)
* Putting himself into a small box and leaping out of people whilst totally naked
* Godzilla
* The things Quirrell got up to when they both shared a body
* The Dementor's Kiss (because Voldemort's soul is split up it doesn't affect him like it does other wizards, it's literally just a passionate kiss)
* Bathing in gravy
* Screaming and yelling randomly like he did in all the movies - like this "NYYYYEAAAAAGGHHHH!"
* Abusing Lucius Malfoy's nut allergy (Nuttus Pukeorum!)
* The history of the Third Reich
* People who talk like they've walked out of a Shakespeare play (his favorite is Romeo & Juliet)
* Eggplants used as sex toys
* Watching Bellatrix mud-wrestling with George Weasley
* Arnold Schwarzenegger's manly muscles
* Being paddled sensually by the Whomping Willow
* Mad-Eye Moody's eye and it's many uses
* Sexual relations with the Shrieking Shack
* Using the girl's bathroom
* Watching himself on the big screen in the movies and quoting all of his own lines whilst honking like a mad man.