Disclaimer: I do not own these characters, nor do I seek to make any profit from this work. Kim Possible is owned by the Walt Disney Co., and was created by Bob Schooley and Mark McCorkle.

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Any original characters who may or may not appear in this fic were wholly fabricated by me, and are owned by me. If you wish to use them in your own work (Ha! Fat chance), I have absolutely zero problem with that as long as you accede credit regarding their parentage to me; a link to the resultant work would also be appreciated.

Please review, especially if it's crap. Detailed reviews, please. Saying "ZOMG, that was so lame!1!111!" may be technically legal, but it doesn't actually have any effect beyond making me want to punch you in the face; reviews which actually tell me what the hell I did wrong insure your brain against further violation by whatever aspect of my writing you found utterly noxious. I will not get better unless you tell me WHY I suck, is what I am saying. And no, I will not stop writing.

Finally, this will be a Kigo fanfic eventually. That means relations of a romantic/sexual nature between two consenting adult women in the privacy of their own...whereverthehelltheyare. If you don't like that, don't read it. Also, you suck and I hate you. 'Kay? 'Kay.

Thanks for plowing through this BS. I hope the tale you are about to consume is worth your time.

Kim Possible:

Child Development

by

Ffordesoon

Chapter 1 – The Status Quo

Drakken's Lair, 11:01 PM

Shego filed her nails as Dr. Drakken expounded on his latest idiotic scheme. The image was a common one in her life, although lately she was hoping Kimmie would stop Drakken preemptively so she could have some Goddamned peace and quiet for once. She was seriously considering posting on Kim's website as soon as the Doc (did he even have a doctorate?)was done with his rant.

That, or find something good and hard to strike him with.

This latest "plan," if it could even be called that, involved chaining (or possibly just rubbing, Shego wasn't entirely sure) a bunch of eels together to power a lightning machine which would then be used to control the world's supply of electricity and get his "posse" back for laughing at him all those years ago. Or some such nonsense. Shego was not a scientist, but she was quite sure this was the scientific equivalent of the Steven Bochco abortion Cop Rock: it sounded like a great idea until Drakken actually decided to say it out loud to someone who wasn't a complete fucking lunatic.

She knew the machine would work, though. Because Drakken was somehow good at building devices that did damn near everything. Everything nefariously retarded, anyway. Why he couldn't use that energy and talent to develop a coffee maker or perhaps a line of non-mind-controlling hair care products, she'd never know.

Drakken was winding down now: "-And they will rue the day they crossed... Dr. Drakken!" Cue evil laugh, thought Shego. "Muhuhuhahahahahahahahahaaa!" After Drakken came down from his high, he frowned. "Shego, why aren't you laughing?" he whined. His trademark rictus grin returned. "Isn't my plan so deliciously EVIL?"

"Yeah-huh, sure, Doc. It's great. Kim Possible won't foil our plans this time," Shego droned, raising her voice as she added,"like she has every other Goddamn time in the history of time!"

Drakken slumped slightly. "There's no need to get vulgar, Shego."

The object of his remark rolled her eyes and sighed. "Fine. Whatever. Hit up my cell if you need me."

Drakken slumped further. "Where are you going, Shego?"

"Out."

"Out where?" He pouted.

"None of your beeswax, Drewbie. I'll be back whenever. Don't wait up." She sauntered out of the room. Drakken looked like someone had just shot his dog. She knew he would throw a tantrum when she left. She wasn't answering her cell for the next few hours, that was for damn sure.

Shego's Private Hideaway, 11:15 PM

Shego parked her jet in the hangar. She'd done things she wasn't proud of to get this place (not to mention the jet), the worst being helping Drakken into his pajamas before bed. She shuddered. The bastard had to be ticklish, she thought. Never again.

Dr. D was ultimately harmless, though. Plus, her employer paid her quite handsomely to put up with Drakken's shit. Occasionally convincing Drakken he signed the checks was worth it to get a place like this.

She actually felt kind of bad for Dr. D. He thought she was his employee. Little did he know, those checks he signed were about as valid as Michael Bay's claim to artistry. No, her real employer was someone you could count on come payday, or any other time. Actually, she needed to talk to him right now.

As she entered her living room, she pulled out her green Gommunicator, idly wondering if Kim knew what her Kimmunicator really was: a tricked-out, Nerdlinger-approved iteration of something Team Go and its financiers invented. The little geek probably found the leaked specs on the internet, she thought. She waded through the menus, eventually getting to the phone function. She input the special number her employer had given her. It included three extra digits so no one would call accidentally. She hit send, turning toward the moonlit Upperton skyline as she did so.

Shego heard it ring five times, then there was a click as the encryption kicked in. She heard another three rings, then a louder click. Finally, the boss answered.

"Hello?"

He sounded a bit drained. She wasn't surprised.

"Hello, Mr. Paisley."

"Shego, for the last time, call me Donald."

Middleton High School, 12:09 PM The Next Day, T-Minus 5 Days Till Last Day of School

Kimberly Ann Possible was struggling to keep her composure. She was about to do something she'd wanted to do for the past 12 years. No, not graduate. Tell off Bonnie Rockwaller.

Yes, just five more days, then she'd be able to excoriate Bonnie without fear of reprisal. She'd even prepared a speech. She knew it was mean-spirited. She knew it wasn't what she would do. She was sure it was wrong. Hell, she totally got where Bonnie was coming from; Kim would probably be a bitch too if she had two older sisters constantly belittling her. This was actually sounding more and more like a bad idea...

But it would be so glorious...

"Uh, KP? You're drooling a bit." said Ron Stoppable. His naked molerat Rufus nodded and squeaked in agreement.

Her eyes widened. She quickly scooped the stray saliva off her chin with her tongue. "Is it gone, Ron?"

Ron nodded. "Checkarooni, KP." Then he frowned. "I think the whole lunch room saw it, though."

Kim looked around, knowing this was the first time she looked like more of a doofus than Ron. Not that Ron is a doofus, thought Kim. I love him just the way he is... right? She shook her head. Focus, Kim.

The lunch room was quiet, apparently awaiting Kim's response. She noticed Bonnie in the corner, apparently saying something particularly witty. She giggled nervously. "I-I'm... hungry?" She turned away, scowling. "Stupid Bonnie thinks she's so great," Kim grumbled, adding, "You try saving the world from monkey ninjas and blue-"

Beep-beep-be-beep! went the Kimmunicator. Kim groaned. She pressed a button, and a fat 11-year-old in a blue shirt with mocha skin appeared on the screen."What's the sitch, Wade?"

Wade smirked. "Oh, the usual. Drakken. Shego."

Kim smirked back. "Ferociously stupid plan. What is it this time?"

"They're heading for the Middleton Aquarium. With a big net hanging off the hovercraft."

Kim rolled her eyes. "Transportation?"

Wade began typing. "Got it. Sending pickup coordinates to you now."

"You rock, Wade." Kim hung up, then looked at Ron, eyes narrowed, the faintest hint of a smile on her face. "Let's go to work."

Middleton Aquarium, 12:11 PM

Shego stared up at the broken skylight, then down at the fish tank full of eels. She was pretty sure she'd get kicked out of PETA for this, or at least fined. Still, what self-respecting aquarium had a skylight right above the fish tanks? In Middleton, where crazy bastards like Drakken lived? She thought they were asking for it to a certain extent. As she lowered the hovercraft's net into the water, she snickered a bit, remembering an old Monty Python sketch with a line strangely appropriate for this situation.

"What's so funny, Shego?" Drakken said, frowning. "This plan will work. You're just jealous 'cause you didn't think of it." He pouted.

Shego sighed. "Sure, Dr. D. I'm so jealous."

Drakken grinned proudly and puffed out his chest, like a toddler who just made potty in the toilet for the first time. "Well, on the off chance this plan doesn't work, I'll let you come up with the next one."

Shego put her hand on her pale forehead. He'd never get it.

The Skies Above Middleton Aquarium, 12:15 PM

Kim still had the same expression on her face as the plane circled the aquarium. Anyone who knew her would have called it her "Mission Mode" face, but this one was slightly different. No one but Kim could tell why she was teetering on the edge of a smile. She wasn't quite sure herself, but she always wore the same expression when she was about to fight Shego. Do I... like fighting Shego? No, that couldn't-

"KP? Hellooooo?" Kim saw a hand waving around near her face.

"Wha-? Ron?" She turned to face him. They were sitting on a couple of chairs molded into the side of the plane. She could see the pilot in the cockpit, giving her the OK sign. She vaguely recalled seeing the same sign two other times in the last five minutes. Her gaze shifted back to Ron. He was frowning.

"Maybe we should call this off. You're totally spaced today." His eyes shone with concern. Rufus popped his head out of Ron's pocket and nodded, squeaking "Uh-huh, uh-huh. Spaced, yep."

Kim blushed, even as she wondered why she was blushing. It wasn't like she'd been caught doing something illicit. "No big, BF. Just senior slump." Ron's expression didn't change. "Really. Check the motto. 'I can do anything.' Remember?" She smiled, and Ron brightened a bit. He still looked worried, though. "Okay. I guess I still forget I'm your boyfriend sometimes. I need you here to remind me." He hung his head slightly.

"Aww... That's sweet, Ron." She kissed his forehead, then looked up. The pilot was giving the sign again. "But we gotta go. I think Mr. Geminini is getting tired of circling."

"Okay, Kim." Ron looked down at Rufus. "You ready, buddy?" Rufus nodded. All three of them took parachutes off the wall. Rufus' was, of course, a miniature version of the others'. They jumped out of the plane.

Kim's heartbeat quickened as she landed. She wasn't sure why, though.

Middleton Aquarium, 12: 19 PM

Shego was confused. She was tired of stealing eels for some weird ray thing that probably wouldn't work anyway, and she couldn't stall much longer. Where was Kimmie? Probably playing kissy-face with that buffoon Stoppable, she thought. Come on, Kim! I'm ready to do our little dance, where are you?

Drakken laughed maniacally. "Yes, Shego! Just a few more eels, then we can fly back to the lair and assemble the lightning machine!"

"Lightning machine? With eels? What?" Kim stood near a railing on the observation deck. It was level with Drakken's hovercraft, and you could see down into the tanks.

Shego smirked. Finally, she thought. "Welcome to my world, Princess." She leaped from the hovercraft, landing near Kim. "This is like his worst plan yet."

Drakken pouted. "Words hurt, Shego!"

Shego gritted her teeth. "Not as much as my fists!"

Drakken flinched in spite of the distance between himself and Shego. "Oh. Right. Yes."

Shego turned back to Kim, who was smiling in spite of herself. Shego thought it was cute. She filed the image away in her head. She growled, lit her hands up, and prepared to pounce, but she noticed something and became confused. "Where's the buffoon?"

Then a pair of pants fluttered down onto Drakken's head. Drakken groaned and threw them to the ground. Ron swung down on his grappling hook, clad in black shirt and boxers with little hearts on them. "Sorry, KP. Pants got caught. You know how it is."

"Ah," Shego said, then resumed her battle stance. "Let's dance, then."

Kim grinned a feral grin. They lunged at each other.

Shego swiped her glowing claws at Kim's abdomen. Kim was ready for those moves, and she jumped back a bit, avoiding the blows entirely. Shego growled at that. Kim saw Shego's fist speeding toward her and sidestepped accordingly. She used Shego's momentum against her, grabbing her arm and throwing her to the ground. Shego sprang up almost as soon as she was down, pouncing Kim. They fell to the floor, Shego on top of Kim.

As they were rolling around, Ron and Drakken just watched from the hovercraft, occasionally offering words of encouragement. They then realized they weren't doing anything, and started fighting awkwardly. There wasn't much room on the hovercraft, after all.

Kim and Shego were still tumbling when Kim spaced. She could see the fist coming at her face, but everything seemed to slow down as she turned toward Shego. She was suddenly awed. She saw Shego as if for the first time. She'd never really stopped to look at Shego when they fought. An almost childlike joy shone in Shego's eyes, which Kim found intoxicating despite herself. Then she saw Shego's face contort into a mask of horror as Kim's enemy realized her glowing green fist would connect with such a peaceful face. Kim didn't care. It was like a dream. Then the moment passed, and Kim closed her eyes, awaiting the blow of someone who, for whatever reason, she didn't want to fight anymore.

It never came.

Kim opened her eyes. Shego's fist was an inch away from her face and Shego herself was just staring, open-mouthed and wide-eyed. Kim could feel the heat from the glowing plasma, and Shego's hot breath on her face. The room was silent. Drakken and Ron were both staring as well.

Shego composed herself somewhat, then mumbled "Kimmie, it's no fun if you don't fight back." She sounded almost... shaken? Concerned? Where did Shego, the Shego I know, go? Kim thought.

Shego looked back over at Dr. Drakken. She jumped back to the hovercraft, threw Ron to the observation deck, cut the net off with her plasma (to Drakken's great displeasure), and zoomed out of the building. All without saying a word. Kim was quite puzzled, so she just kept lying there.

Ron ran to her side. "Oh God, Kim! Are you okay?"

She put her hand to her cheek. "Yeah, Ron. Yeah, I am. Sh-she didn't hurt me. Why didn't she...?"

Ron shook his head. "I dunno, KP. Rufus is still on the roof 'cause I told him to wait there. Let's get him and get back to class."

Middleton High, 12:58 PM – 3:19 PM

Kim sleepwalked through the rest of the day. All through her classes...

Possible Residence, 3:45 – 10:50 PM

...Through dinner with her family (and Ron), the Tweebs' pranks, Ron's goodnight kiss, and during her final walk to her bedroom.

All she could think about was...

That look.

And as she closed her eyes, she could still see it.

A Warehouse Somewhere in Middleton, 11:00 PM

Drakken had kicked Shego out that day, not that she minded. She didn't really mind anything except that look. She couldn't stop thinking about the way Kim was acting: as if the fight was over, as if she just... gave up. That wasn't the way the game was played. She and Kim fought to a standstill, Kim foiled Drakken's plan, they all ran away. Lather, rinse, repeat. It was a game she loved, and her dumb little Kimmie couldn't just change the rules. It wasn't what was supposed to happen. She finally understood Senor Senior Senior's reasoning.

As for why she was in a warehouse at 11 o'clock, Paisley had called and said to meet Mr. McHenry at this location at 11:00 PM sharp. If she had been focused at the time of the call, she would have been suspicious. But she wasn't, so she hadn't been.

She didn't see McHenry anywhere, and all that suspicion was smacking her in the face like a freight train now.

Out of the dark came a husky voice: "Hello, Heather."

She grimaced. The use of her real name couldn't possibly be good. "That's Agent Darkmoor to you, Mr. McHenry."

McHenry slithered out of the shadows. He was a tall, wiry man, and his slicked-back hair was silvery in the moonlight. He grinned, or more accurately bared his fangs. "Not quite, Heather. The Company does not tolerate failure. Not on black ops."

Then McHenry drew a silenced pistol on her.

Shego winced. This was bad. Very bad.

If someone were standing near that warehouse, they would have heard the distinct chhk of a silenced gun discharging. Then another.

To Be Continued...

A/N: OOOO! Evil, evil cliffhanger!

The Monty Python sketch alluded to is, I believe, the "Hungarian-English Phrasebook" sketch. The specific quote is "My hovercraft is full of eels." Seriously, look it up.

As I said at the start, please read and review. Whatever happens, I'll see y'all again with Chapter 2, which is tentatively entitled:

Smoke On The Water.

Cheers!