Tears were forming in her eyes, tears that had been shed many times before but tonight was different. Tonight, she was sharing the tears with someone else.
After the war, Hermione had run off to find herself again. Before Hogwarts she knew exactly what her life was going to be like, she would go to school and get top marks, then head off to Oxford or Cambridge and graduate with honors there eventually landing herself a prestigious job within the British government and eventually working her way up to Parliament.
But getting her Hogwarts letter had changed everything. She was a witch, she went to a magical boarding school to learn magic, and she became friends with the one person who could change the outcome of a war she hadn't even known about. Life had been easier at ten years old.
Now though, she sat on the grassy hills surrounding the dragon reserve in Romania looking out at the sunset with the tears streaking down her sun kissed cheeks and listening as Charlie Weasley breathed. "You can talk to me." He had said over dinner, noticing that she wasn't eating. "I know that you don't want to but you can if your mind changes."
She had said her thanks and ate what she could before leaving for her own flat on the reserve, not noticing Charlie's worried gaze following her down the hall. Sometime in the middle of the night she had decided that bottling the emotions up wasn't healthy, she did need to speak to someone and he was the only one who would understand so she went to his flat and knocked.
He had been asleep, of course, and was shirtless with wild hair but he didn't complain. Dressing quickly and locking the door he followed silently as Hermione led him up the hill and sat still for hours.
"I don't know what I'm doing anymore." The lack of speaking and emotion had made her sound croaky, her voice started to break but Charlie didn't move. "I thought I knew exactly what I was getting myself into, I thought I knew how it would end. It did end the way I thought in one way, Riddle's dead and the Wizarding World was saved. But at what cost?"
Thousands had been killed during the last few years, their friends and family had suffered enough, and Hermione could not face herself most mornings.
"My dad used to tell me and Bill about the first war sometimes, but only if we would ask." Charlie's voice was low, his body mimicked her own as he sat with his knees pulled towards his chest. "He told us about how difficult it was watching mum lose both of her brothers, how they had all thought it was the end of the world as they knew it. That's why they had so many kids you know, they didn't want to have any regrets of only having one or two, a full house was a happy house."
The message was evident, Molly Weasley had lost both of her brothers to the first war, and a son to the second. Now Charlie had moved back to Romania and Hermione had run off at the first opportunity. Even Ron and Harry stayed away from the Burrow anymore.
The Burrow was not a full house now.
"I just….couldn't. Stay there, I mean. I have no idea who I am but I do know that I want to be anyone else."
"Don't say that." His voice was stronger now, almost angry but not enough to upset her. "You're one of the strongest people I know and more intelligent than most of the gits I know, everything that you've done has been for a purpose Hermione. The adventures that you and Ron had with Harry built up to something destructive and insane, but everything was important."
"Then why don't I feel it that way?"
Charlie stretched out now letting his legs each down the hill and his toes settle in the grass. "How do you feel?"
It took a moment, the thoughts were there but the words weren't. "I've never felt so lost. My confidence in myself is at an all time low, and sometimes I can't even muster the energy to get out of bed. The nights that you invite me over for dinner are the only nights I don't get back to my flat and immediately fall asleep. I killed people, they were bad people but they bled just like I did and I don't think I can live with myself knowing I did that."
In an instant Charlie was flush against her pulling the sobbing figure towards him. She had always been small, but now she was fragile. The signature curls that had adorned her head were shaved off leaving a few inches of soft brown hair, cheekbones jutted out beneath the skin on her face, and any light that had been in her eyes was gone.
The war had killed Hermione Granger.
"You spend all of your time trying to make sure I'm alright," Her voice hitched with the sobs. "Why? Why don't you go have fun and go find someone to sleep with and enjoy your time here? You don't have to sit here with me and listen to me cry!"
She cried more, the self-loathing was more than just hatred, it was disgust.
Charlie took his time answering the questions, breathing evenly he rubbed Hermione's back. "I can't." He said simply. "I can't go out and have fun like I used to, or find some broad to shag. I killed twenty-three people that day, I kept count. And every day I see their faces, or think about who they might have been had that stupid fuck not thought he was the most powerful being in the universe. I'm not the same Charlie Weasley that came to Romania a decade ago and I'm not the same one who left for England two months ago. I lost a brother, might as well have lost two since George barely sees anyone anymore. Bill's changed since Greyback attacked him, Remus is dead, Tonks is dead, Dumbledore's dead, Hogwarts is smashed to bits...a lot of what I knew growing up is gone."
"But none of that explains why you didn't just stay with your family, it doesn't explain why you're sitting here with me." She was standing now with her back to the reserve. "Why did you tell me to come to Romania?"
"I couldn't do it alone!" She had never heard him yell, for all Hermione knew Charlie didn't know how to yell. "I couldn't come back here and be alone with my thoughts. You needed to get out of England and I needed someone to sit with who understood what it was like without having to actually discuss it."
"Well you could have just told me to shut it."
He was standing now, running broad hands through the shaggy mop of red hair and growling quietly. "That's not what I meant. I was just saying how we don't have to talk about it, I don't mind it but it's not something we need to discuss every time we're together."
"What would you rather talk about then?"
"I don't know! Dragons, quidditch, your job, anything!"
It was almost silent without their yelling, the only noise around them was the wind and an occasional whoosh of dragon wings far off. "You just wanted a friend."
Charlie wouldn't meet her eyes, he was almost thirty and was standing on a hill screaming about needing someone to talk to. "Yeah."
"And I've been a rubbish one haven't I?" Smiling shyly Hermione let out a short laugh. "I'm so sorry Charlie, I was being selfish."
"We're both still trying to get over what happened, it hasn't even been a year yet. And I'm alright with talking about it but I don't want that to turn into the only thing we ever say to each other. I want to get to know you Hermione, I want to be your friend." She nodded reaching out and grasping his open hands. "Thank you."
"Thank you Charlie, I know I haven't really said it since I got here but it does mean a lot that you pulled some strings to get me a position on the reserve." She hugged him as tightly as she could but it was almost morning and her limbs were tired. "I should get some sleep."
Only getting a nod Hermione trekked back down the hill towards her flat leaving Charlie to finish watching the sunrise before grabbing a nap of his own.
It took awhile, months really, but Hermione began to be her cheerful self again. She and Charlie would meet up for dinner a few nights a week and on one of those nights Charlie proposed something.
"Let's take a trip, just you and me. Let's travel somewhere and enjoy the time away."
"Where would you want to go exactly?"
The idea of traveling wasn't something Hermione was entirely keen on, but if it was a way to get both of them out of the rut they were in then she would try it. "I've never been anywhere else in Romania, we could start small and work our way up from there. Day trips and all that."
"You've never been anywhere else in Romania other than with the dragons?" The laugh as a reply was all she needed to hear. "That's just sad Charlie, really. You've lived here for ten years and never left this place. Have you looked around? It's beautiful!"
Serving the plates he sat next to her. "Exactly, so let's have some adventures."
Smiling broadly she took the glass of wine and toasted him. "I'll start looking into places tonight."
A/N: This is starting out as a one-shot but it might become a story, so I'm leaving it as in progress for now. Let me know what you think!