A/N: I have not abandoned my other stories, truly. I signed up for a Valentine's ficathon, and was given a specific pairing. This was the result.
However far away
I will always love you
However long I stay
I will always love you
Whatever words I say
I will always love you
I will always love you
-Lovesong, The Cure
Sometimes I think that there really must be fate or God or something like that. Because sometimes, coincidences seem too convenient to be just coincidences. And maybe laws of probability or what not call for some miraculous coincidences, but some things seem just too perfect to be chance.
I was in my first year of working as a school psychologist when Alice, a teacher a few years older than I, and a bit of a mentor despite the difference in jobs, invited me to a small concert at the local club. It was really last minute--her boyfriend had cancelled on her, so she had an extra ticket, and she knew I was pretty into music, so she invited me along. I didn't even know who was playing, but I decided a little spontaneity couldn't hurt.
So there I was, feeling rather silly in torn fishnets and a belly-baring tank, and wondering what I'd do if one of my students happened to be at the concert as well. In high school, sure, I was a bit of a wild child clothing-wise, and that hadn't exactly changed, but somehow, going out in public a bit more souped up than I had been in awhile, added to the butterflies taking over my stomach.
Alice picked me up shortly thereafter (in a convertible, no less!) and drove to the club, all the while chatting about how this artist was wonderful, how much she loved him, blah blah blah. I still hadn't managed to catch his name, but I was too busy feeling uncomfortable to care. If it weren't for the fact that it would make her miss the concert, I would have asked her to turn the car back around that very moment.
I wandered into the building and I felt slightly less out of place when I noticed many of the other patrons in similar attire. At least she hadn't been lying to me when she told me how to dress. I headed toward the back of the room, but Alice grabbed my hand and dragged me to the front. It figured--she'd always been the social type. That's how she ended up with me in the first place, after all--I certainly wouldn't have had the guts to approach her!
Suffice it to say I was still feeling pretty out of place when the band finally took the stage--but within seconds, my discomfort was the last thing on my mind. For there, standing front stage and centre, was one Craig Manning.
I wish I could say I paid total attention to his singing, but I didn't. Instead, I was lost in thought and memories, and lost in analysing my thoughts and memories, and analysing the fact that I was analysing them. Guess I'm a good argument against taking psych courses.
I was desperately trying to regroup when the worst happened. "Hello Ms. Nash." I turned around and it was as I'd feared--a student with a mischievous twinkle in his eye and nonchalance in his voice.
I coughed and turned bright red and wiggled my fingers in a wave, then turned my eyes straight ahead, hoping he would leave. He did, although I have no idea how long he waited there.
Alice was babbling on about how wonderful the music had been when we were once more interrupted. "Hello Ms. Nash!" My jaw dropped and I didn't even have the sense to shut my mouth before I whirled around to face him.
"Um... Craig. Wow. Um... how are you?"
Either he didn't notice my discomfort or he was too polite to say anything, but either way I was grateful.
He smiled and my knees went weak. Damnit, I didn't even know him anymore. I'd loved him years ago and he'd rejected me. I simply wasn't allowed to think of him as anything more than a friend and that was the end of it.
"El, you look... fantastic. Amazing, really."
Okay, I was wrong--that wasn't even close to the end of it.
Alice elbowed me hard in the side. "You know him?" she whispered in my ear. "And you didn't tell me!" How had I not noticed whom she'd been rambling about this entire time?
"Um, you look great too," I managed. "I mean... thanks." Wow. Could I be any more lame?
"So, Ellie Nash. Can I take you out to coffee? Catch up with you?"
I immediately shook my head but Alice elbowed me again. "She'd love to." I shot her a dirty look but Craig seemed excited and I didn't have the heart to disappoint him.
"Sure," I said weakly. "See you tomorrow, Alice?" She nodded. "When I will kill you," I added under my breath.
He drove me to The Dot (talk about nostalgia!) and ordered me the same black coffee I'd enjoyed since middle school. I was touched that he'd remembered.
"So, you're like, famous or something?" I said, in an attempt to break the silence.
He laughed. "What makes you say that?"
"Well I just figured, since, uh, you know. Since Alice knew your name and all?"
"If playing a few local clubs makes me famous, I guess I'm a star." He kept his words warm and I knew he wasn't trying to make fun of me.
"Yeah, well, it's only a matter of time." I meant it, too--he was even more talented than I had remembered, assuming I could trust my hormone-crazed brain (which at that point wasn't actually a great idea).
We occupied ourselves with small talk until the manager booted us out. He drove me home and we were both silent except for my occasional set of directions. I would have loved to know what was on his mind.
He pulled into the lane and I was about to get out of his car when he caught my hand. "El..."
I froze in place. His voice was serious and I didn't want to hear what he had to say. I knew then that things were changing--that for better or worse, they'd never be quite the same.
"El..." he said again. "Ellie. All those years ago? When I chose Manny over y--when I chose Manny?"
"Don't." I could barely whisper the words.
"Ellie, I should have--"
"--Please, Craig."
"I should have chosen you. Look, I'm sorry, but... I have to say it." He was silent for a moment, perhaps waiting for me to protest, but I didn't. "I wanted to love you. I did love you. But... I was scared. I reached for what I knew instead of going after you, because it was easier that way. Less scary. And I'm sorry."
"I... Craig..."
Being in love is an amazing thing, incomparable to anything in this world. Who would have thought that I, Ellie Nash, could be so lucky?
But falling in love means taking chances. On an impulse, I kissed him. I pulled away and then closed my eyes and hoped for the best, my scarlet cheeks hidden in the deep midnight darkness.
His lips met mine and I was in heaven.