Notes: My second fanfic (originally posted on LJ) This happens when Sonny goes home after the wedding fiasco and the conversation with Will at Common Grounds. A very short glimpse into Sonny's thoughts when he enters his apartment alone.
Like normal he entered his apartment, throwing his keys on the desk then standing before the well made bed.
Taking a minute to breath in and out, loosening knots and ties that threatened to choke him. Everything was in its place. Sheets perfectly tucked under. The clock ticking away in its spot by the bed. Pictures hung straight on the wall. The little cocoa tin on the night stand still awaiting the admission of his desires.
Images danced before saturated eyes. Eyes that witnessed heavy clouds and darkening skies but failed to prepare for the storm. Flood waters squeezed his chest before he even realized he was wet. It weighed him down, threatened to pull him under, but anger and the need to beat the currents kept him afloat. In this apartment all was calm. No evidence of a world gone wrong. Nothing where it shouldn't be.
Eighty six thousand four hundred seconds between love and heartbreak.
Legs rooted before the bed as he watched scenes unfold. Lips puckered at the memory of kisses returned. Skin tingled when warm breath caressed the back of his neck. A sharp inhale signals the arrival of hands on his body, moving slow, getting to know him again. He shakes his head, breaking the scene and dislodging memories that flashed lightening against a still darkened sky.
He moved towards the bathroom with the purpose of washing away the filth stuck to a body after swimming in dirty water. He stopped at the threshold, unable to advance when the sound of water beating on tile reverberates through the air and brings with it the taste of skin picked up by a tongue as it travels from the back of the knee and up a lover's thigh. Water cascades over the firm muscles on a rounded ass and a mouth opens to drink the overflow. His heart is beating rapidly, the rib cage barely able to contain it. He pushes across the threshold, an attempt to reclaim a space haunted by a living ghost.
The porcelain basin almost breaks beneath a hard grip as the fight to forget rages against the body's need to remember. "Get it together Sonny. Take a shower. Go to Bed. Hope this will all be over in the morning."
The quiet returns long enough to strip his body of all its clothes. He had dressed with care just hours before. Meticulously crafting the knot in the tie before trailing the comb, one last time, through thick moist hair. It all laid crumbled at his feet; the blue shirt meant to reflect his lover's eyes, cradled the heap. The glass shower door slides open and echoes the sound of rhythmic thrusts as he takes Will against it. His name, whispered in blissful agony bounces off the walls and shatters the last of his control. Mocking his inability to push it all away.
The cold floor finds him, weakened, coolness seeping into exposed flesh. Too exhausted to fight the waves they swallow him; ripping tears free, spilling anger and hurt. Fears danced in his head: the empted space in the closet, the smell of Will on everything and the realization that he was no longer one half of a whole.
Three hundred fifty two seconds passed, bearing witness to his humanity.
A hand pushed up against the toilet, forcing the rest of him to rise. He stepped into the shower, turned on the water, turned his head into the spray and steeled himself for a night alone.