Soldier
By Kyoko De Fane
Pairing: Yzak x Kira
Disclaimer: Don't own Gundam Seed…yaddayaddayadda…especially not Gundam Seed Destiny either. I mean, who'd want to own that now that the dumbass director killed off Stellar! Now everyone's going to just hate Shinn even more! I mean, unless they throw out the cheesy "He dies in the last battle and is reunited with Stellar's ghost, and they go off flying happily…lalala…" -.-x
A/N: EHHH I actually don't have much to say about this story. On my last story, Matsurai, I got a reviewer that wanted a KiraxYzak or YzakxKira or whatever fanfic. At first I was all "but I don't like that pairing…" but after I kept thinking about it an idea sprouted in my head, and I decided "oh well. That'll work. I think" and so I put it down on…err…computer! Although I'll admit that this is NOT my favorite pairing (I think it's not as cute as AsuKira), the idea for the story wouldn't shut up. Either way, I'm pretty tolerant of strange pairings, just as long as they're not too…weird…(MurruexKira? COME ON SHE'S LIKE 475786484 YEARS OLDER THAN HIM!)
Anyways, I thought I'd write in first person this time…give it a little different "flavor"…o.O; This is dedicated to one of my reviewers, ShadowVampiress (?)…So READD and don't kill me!
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With a final click, my Gundam slowed to a stop inside the ship's hanger. I got out, clutching at the rope that slowly brought my decent to the ground below. Beside me, Athrun and Dearka were doing the same. Pulling off my helmet, I stomped towards the showers. Athrun followed suits, exchanging strange looks with Dearka as we made out way down the winding halls.
"Yzak, are you okay?" Athrun asked, cautious. Almost immediately, my barrier went up, and I automatically snapped back at him.
"Of course nothing's wrong, you dolt! We just got our ass kicked. AGAIN! Thanks to you and your crappy leadership!" I yelled. Athrun looked a little taken aback, and inwardly I cringed, as I realized that my walls had gone up again. I didn't mean to hurt Athrun like this. My face almost slipped a sign, a flicker of emotion, but I managed to cover it up with a piercing glare. Dearka muttered something to Athrun, and they both turned the upcoming corner. I clenched my teeth and bit back snide remarks as I realized that they were probably discussing my obscene behavior, but the flare of anger died as I realized that I would have some privacy today. This was something I seldom received, having to share a shower room with the three other pilots. However, just to be safe, I held my guard until I got to the showers.
It was not until I felt the lock click into place that I breathed a sign of relief. I allowed myself the luxury of relaxing my features, before pulling back into the stone hard face I was taught to have. Failure was not tolerated, and weakness was the enemy. For many years, I repeated this strict mantra over and over. I detached all my emotions, and I swore that I would never fall. Until I met him.
Walking over to the mirror, I studied my features. A cold, expressionless face that had killed dozens without a second thought, silver hair that fell neatly down to my chin. That was what I saw. But I reached up, tracking gently with my fingers the scar that ran below my right eye, the only imperfection on my image as a perfect soldier. It was not too long ago that this wound was inflicted upon me. I still remembered the sparks that flew, as our beam swords clashed with each other, each of us screaming out frustration that neither of us were dead already. MY helmet cracked, and my face was wounded. Just recently I had met him again, and we had been caught in a fierce battle. In the end, a temporary retreat was issued, and we were ordered to return.
Sometimes I didn't even know what I was fighting for. Was it because I was expected to? Because I wanted to? My mother on the council didn't make matters any better. She was always trying to push me to the back lines of the forces, to protect me. But I didn't want to be protected. I wanted to go out, cutting though the open space effortlessly, cutting down the obstacles that stood in my way. That was the way I wanted to live. Until I met him.
My fingers idly traced the pale scar, as I thought about the man who inflicted this upon me. The Strike. From the moment I saw the thing, I felt shivers down my spine, and my heart subconsciously anticipated something new. My blood would pump faster, as I realized that his life was in my hands, as mine was in his. Commander Crusset had lectured Athrun many times before, never to get too emotionally attached. Dearka had been captured once, and of course, he'd been returned. But something about him was different. He seemed distracted at times, and it enraged me to think that him, who was once one of out best fighters, was quickly losing concentration from one loss! And of course, there was Nicol. Gentle, innocent Nicol. It made me wonder many a time what he was doing in the ZAFT forces at all. He belonged at some prissy music school, playing his heart out at a piano. In fact, his whole being emitted innocence, sometimes even becoming the peacemaker when arguments broke out between Athrun and me.
But I could never forget Athrun. He, who took his place as the commander of our team, when I should have been awarded the position. I was second to none at the training academy, the perfect soldier who played the role as the devil's advocate, cutting down people as we were ordered to. We were taught not to feel remorse, not affection, compassion, or attachment to the enemy. It was true; war turns the most dignified of humans into beasts. Ever since Athrun came back from the Gundam Retrieval mission, he was always trying to get out of destroying the only Gundam that we were not able to recover. The Strike. I sneered and jeered at his weakness, hoping that he would harden himself; after all, it was weakness that got you used, abused and it was weakness that got you killed. These days, if you showed weakness to someone, they would walk all over you, using you for their own purposes and advantages, and after they were done, spit you out again. I knew that Commander Crusset knew this, and after Athrun was promoted, I smelled a rat. It didn't take to long to discover that the pilot of the Strike was indeed an old childhood friend of Athrun's. So, even Athrun, I realized, had his weaknesses, but I was dead wrong if I thought those were the only ones. I had seen it all, right through to his soul. The way Athrun looked at him longingly, the way his eyes glazed over as he lusted after his best friend. The way he moaned and cried out Kira's name when he thought no one was watching, and the way he writhed and moaned as he slept. I knew that he was dying to fuck Kira good and hard, but even he knew that there were lines you could not cross on the battlefield - especially when the object of your fantasies was trying to kill you.
Too bad he never realized that the one who lusted and wanted Kira more was I.
Call me sadistic. Call me insane. This may not be your idealism of love, but I don't care. As long as the Strike is within my sight, as long as I am able to grasp it, I'll keep fighting, and fighting, until one of us is left. Until I am drenched in his blood, until my hands are the ones that bring the end to his life, I will never be satisfied. The white-hot rage that runs through my veins – it would never disappear. I wanted to touch him, to cut him, to make him bleed until he screamed for mercy. To hold him in my arms as he lay broken and used, damaged beyond repair. It was that sobbing, defeated, dying face that I wanted to see, as I draw what pleasure I can out of his trembling body.
I walked into the steady stream of the warm shower, and quickly washed myself. My toned muscles rippled as I grasped my arousal and began to pump it. My sweat mingled with the warm water, as I gasped and moaned. My eyes closed in rapture as I imagined Kira before me, screaming in agony as I thrust in and out of his body, his blood and tears mixed with my sweat and cum. All too soon, it was over, and I shut the water off and dried myself with a towel. Quickly pulling my uniform on again, I sat down on one of the benches, closing my eyes, allowing my self a few precious seconds of peace. Soon I would be out on the battlefield, taking lives and staining my hands with blood once more. My hands roughly combed through my silver tresses, as I closed my eyes and lost myself in thought.
Harsh rapping at the door tore me from my thoughts, as Dearka called to me through the door.
"Hey, Yzak, everything okay in there?"
"Sorry, I'm not dead yet. Now what do you want?" I snapped impatiently. I head Dearka give an exasperated sigh, and I could almost see the twisted expression on his face. He must hate dealing with this every day, but as long as I am given life, I have no other choice.
"Well, we're leaving in five minutes. And Athrun says that he's sorry, and he hopes that you feel better soon." Dearka said. I waited until I could hear his footsteps no more, and snorted. Insincere words of apology from a man who lies to himself.
Making my way back to the hanger, I prepared to launch once again. Dearka and Athrun were there already, and as the ropes pulled us back up, Dearka flashed me a thumbs-up, grinning. I rolled my eyes, and flicked him off, receiving only a small burst of laughter from him in reply. Then there was no more time for bantering. The Archangel was near, and soon we would be back on the battlefield again.
Kira…
Shooting out into the vastness of space, I felt excitement rush into my veins. The stars stretched out before me, revealing nothing of the far expanse before me. Flickers of light danced before my eyes, as I witness explosions that grew bigger as I drew near. My hands trembled ever so slightly; I could hardly contain myself.
"Hey Yzak. This is Athrun speaking, over." The speaker crackled to life beside me.
"Yeah, what do you want!" I snapped, before adding a reluctant, "over."
There was a pause, before his voice said, "Do your best. Try not to damage the Strike too much. We're here to capture it."
I nearly scoffed as he said it. Whether he heard or not, he gave no indication, only shooting off into the heat of the battle. No doubt to find Kira again.
I was already no longer the perfect soldier. I took orders from no one. But why do I continue to fight? Because I knew that if the world were to crumble before my eyes, and if time were to end…Kira…
I'd want to see you again.
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Yeah yeah yeah I can see you cheering already. "IT'S OVER IT'S OVER!" xD;;…This was a new experience for me…I may be able to write a yaoi scene, but I can't write a male masturbation scene to save my life.Gosh, I'm going to have nightmares about Yzak jacking off and making those obsence noises…ah, he should go get laid or something ;P OH CRAP – NOW I HAVE IMAGES OF YZAK HAVING SEX WITH SOMEONEO.O;;
Yes, I think I'll go sleep now…good night, all
Some days,
Kyoko