Chapter one

As Hyde held Fez upside down by his ankles, Kelso dove to the floor to pick up the objects that fell from Fez's pockets. Kelso laughed and picked up a coin once it landed on the floor.

"Got a quarter!" He said, smiling brightly, as he held the coin up for Hyde to see

Hyde laughed and shook Fez a little "Let's see what else shakes loose."

A piece of hard candy dropped down and hit Kelso on the head. Kelso snatched it up with a laugh and began to unwrap it.

"Score! Free candy!"

Fez tried to snatch at the candy in Kelso's hand "Ay! My candy!"

Dancing a little, Kelso backed away and teased Fez with the candy. "What's the matter, Fez?" He laughed

"Give me my candy you son of a bitch!"

"You mean this candy?" Kelso held it towards Fez. Before Fez could grab it, though, Kelso popped it into his mouth with a mocking laugh.

Just at that moment, Eric walked down the stairs and stopped at the bottom to see what was happening. He frowned and shook his head.

"Come on guys. You can't do that to Fez."

He walked over to the shelf and grabbed the Green Bay Packers helmet. Walking over to Fez, he put the helmet on Fez's head and patted it in place to secure it.

"There you go, buddy. This way if Hyde drops you, your head will be protected."

"Oh I see how it is." Kelso said. "When Hyde has Fez by the ankles Fez gets a helmet. But when he does it to me, he makes sure to drop me straight on my head."

"That's because it's not as funny when Fez gets hurt." Hyde said with a slightly snorted scoff.

Donna and Jackie entered through the side door. Smiling, Donna crossed the room to the couch. "Guys I have-" she stopped and looked over at Hyde, who was still holding Fez upside down. "What the hell are you doing?"

"We're playing with the human Fez piñata." Hyde said "What else?"

"Um don't you normally hit piñatas with bats?" Jackie asked

Eric snapped his fingers, pointing at her. "Good call. Kelso get a bat."

"Oh awesome!" Kelso started to walk to the stairs "I always wanted an excuse to hit Fez with a bat!"

"Ay! Hyde put me down!" Fez squirmed, trying to break out of Hyde's grasp

Hyde laughed "Alright you big baby." He lowered Fez to the floor and let him go

As Fez stood, he took the helmet off and handed it to Kelso. Looking dejected, Kelso looked at everyone.

"Aw man. Does this mean we don't get to hit Fez with bats now?"

Hyde stepped closer to Kelso and patted the helmet "Hold onto that, Kelso." He walked over to his chair and sat down.

Donna watched as everyone took their seats. She looked at them with a smile. "Ok if everyone's through torturing Fez, I can finally go on with my big news." she paused to see she had their attention. "You guys wouldn't believe this amazing job opportunity I just got."

"Oh Donna, no one cares that you're going to fulfill your dreams of becoming a trucker." said Jackie with a roll of her eyes and a slight grunt. "You don't have to announce it."

Donna raised an eyebrow, showing her irritation. "Jackie. Stop telling everybody that." she rolled her eyes, shaking her head. "Anyway, before I was so rudely interrupted, I just got the chance to be a guest DJ at this radio station in Brooklyn for part of the summer. I'm going there in a couple weeks for an interview, but I figured, we'd all have free time then so why don't we all go on a road trip?" She smiled and danced giddily in her spot to show her excitement.

Jackie sat up with and excited smile "Brooklyn? Oh my God! That's in New York!"

"Um, well, yeah it is."

Jackie cut her off "Oh my God, I always wanted to go to New York! We'd get to see Broadway, and Times Square and-" She gasped "Think about all the shopping we could do!"

"Yeah, but Jackie, that's New York City. We're going to Brooklyn."

"Hey," Eric said as he got a Popsicle from the freezer "I hear Coney Island is nice this time of year." he unwrapped the Popsicle and looked at Jackie. "But if you want, we can drop you off on Broadway and the rest of us can hang out on the Coney Island boardwalk." He paused, ignoring the look Jackie gave him "It certainly would make our vacation more enjoyable having you in another city."

"Yeah, but, Forman," Hyde said "Jackie's smart. Even if we dropped her off at Broadway, she might be able to fine her way into Brooklyn. Then what would we do once she ran into us?"

"We could always throw her off the Brooklyn Bridge." Donna replied, causing Jackie to give an offended huff. Donna, shook her head, with a small chuckle. "Alright. Kidding aside, what do you all say about this trip? I mean, I'm going no matter what, but it would make things a lot more fun if I had you guys with me."

"Donna, this trip idea sounds great." Eric said with a grin "Yeah we should really do this." His grin brightened as it spread to the others.

With everyone else in agreement, the excitement began to spread around the room. A buzz quickly emerged as they all came together to discuss their plans for the trip.

…

Gabe stood in front of the chalkboard with an eraser in his hand. As he began erasing the board, he started speaking to the class. He knew that as he spoke, none of his words were actually reaching the students, but he continued talking anyway. Part way through his speech, which he purposely made increasingly bizarre with each unbelievable line that went over the heads of his students, he turned to face the class. While doing this he saw the students were busy murmuring in their own conversations as well as busying themselves with their personal activities at their desks.

"Now, I know class is almost over, and you all are excited, but summer vacation doesn't start for a few more days. I still need you to pay attention to me for just a few more minutes."

"But Mr. Kotter." said Horshack "We are but young children, and excitement for the summer is in the air. And what may be a few days 'til vacation for you might as well be a few hours for us. We can listen to you tell jokes some other time."

Gabe grinned slightly to show he was a little amused by the student's reply. "So if that's how it is, then." He nodded "Well there really isn't much left in my lecture today that you could have learned… not that you'd actually learn it anyway." He walked over to his desk and sat on top of it. "Why don't we just take the rest of the class time here to discuss summer vacation? Your minds are already there anyway. For some of you, your minds have been on summer vacation since fifth grade."

Smirking, Epstein sat up some in his seat "Hey, now this is the kind of class discussion I can get into." He pointed a finger at Gabe "Y'know Mr. Kotter, if you had more class discussions like this one I'da been an A student by now."

"And miss out on having you in the eleventh grade for the next four years? Why didn't I think of that sooner?" Gabe asked with sarcastic excitement

"Right on. But here's a better thought, Mr. Kah-tare." Freddie said "Why don't we skip discussion and head straight fo' summer vacation?" he finished with a slick grin

With Freddie's cue, all four Sweathogs got up and started to leave the room. Vinnie, last in line, smiled and patted Gabe on the shoulders.

"Don't worry, Mr. Kotter. We'll send you a postcard." he said, before stepping out the door with the other three guys.

"Would you guys get back in here?!"

Back tracking, all in a line, the four of them entered the room. They lined up in front of Gabe's desk, each giving a testing grin, further irritating the teacher. Not amused, Gabe tilted his head, jerking it towards the students' desks, signaling them to sit down. Taking note to the fact that Gabe was actually serious, they took his cue and went back to their seats. Satisfied with his seated students, Gabe continued with his lesson, squeezing the last bits as best as he could into the remaining minutes of the class.

"Now," said Gabe once his lesson was finished "Since we clearly all are in the summer vacation mood, why don't we take the time we have left in class to talk about what we plan on doing for summer vacation."

"Aw do we gotta, Mr. Kotter?" Vinnie asked

"Yeah. The bell's 'bout to ring any minute and Vinnie's got all he can to manage all the dates he got lined up. Just for this week. Am I right, Vinnie?" Epstein reached over and slapped Vinnie's back.

"Actually I ain't got no dates yet."

"What?" Gabe asked in surprise "Do my ears deceive me or did Vincent Barbarino actually say he doesn't have any dates for the summer?"

"Hey! I said I ain't got dates yet." Vinnie smiled proudly. "But that's only because I told the girls they'd have to wait a couple weeks. See, I got my cousin from Wisconsin visiting me the first couple weeks of summer and she says she's coming with some friends." He leaned back in his seat, placing his hands folded together behind his head. "Might be nice to get some out of town action for a change."

"Hold up." Freddie held up his hands and shook his head. "Vinnie you ain't plannin' on messin' 'round with yo cousin, are you?"

"What?" Vinnie frowned "Freddie you know me better than that! Please. Ain't nobody touchin' my cousin while she's here. Especially none of you turkeys. I was talkin' about her friends!"

"Yeah, yeah sure, sure." Epstein said "Barbarino if you ain't letting nobody go after your cousin then you gotta let us take a crack at her friends."

He and Freddie laughed while slapping each other a five.

"Yeah. Vinnie jus' how many friends is yo cousin bringing with her?"

"She didn't say how many or who she was bringing with her. But I'm guessing there'll be enough for you, me and Epstein to take cracks at them."

The three of them laughed and gave each other fives in celebration of their newly anticipated summer hijinks. Horshack, though clearly disappointed, sat up and leaned forward towards Vinnie's seat.

"But Vinnie why'd you leave me out? Huh? Don't I get a crack at nobody? Why is it every time there's plans to be with girls, I always get left out? What am I supposed to do while the three of you spend time with the girls?"

"Hey don't sweat it, Horshack." Epstein said "While we're with the girls, you can watch our stuff."

"Oh?" Horshack asked "But little Juan, what makes you so sure one of these girls will want to be with you when you're a sheephead?"

This infuriated Epstein, causing him to bolt to his feet. As he chased Horshack out of the room, the bell to end class rang. Gabe had no choice but to dismiss the rest of the students before he could peek into the hallway to check on Epstein and Horshack.

"Come on Epstein!" he called out "Let Arnold out of your locker! He will be smothered to death by your gym socks!" He shook his head, turning his eyes up to the ceiling as though to ask 'what am I going to do?'