WARNING:
STAYING UP LATE EQUALS MUCH CRACK, KIDS, SO WE ADVISE AGAINST IT.
And Tobi does not own Naruto. Kishimoto-sensei does. That little tease. DX
Once upon a time there was a peaceful village called Konohagakure no Sato, and inside the village were peaceful people, and everybody was as peaceful as peaceful little leaf-nin could be. That is, until...
THE ROACH ATTACKED!!! Yes- a monstrous roach (as big as a twelve-year-old human!) with a large forehead, hideous pink hair, and neon green eyes was causing havoc in this awesomest awesome villagr. It was clinging to the most handsomest of handsome seme, UCHIHA "THE SMEX GOD" SASUKE- GANGSTER OF LUUUURV!!!!!!1ONELEVEN
Oh noes! What could our handsome seme in distress do!?!
"OH MY GAWD! SAAAAASUKE-KUN!" Sakura latched herself to Sasuke's neck upon sight, inwardly cheering that Ino (the blonde pig of doom) was nowhere in the surrounding area. The brooding avenger's eye twitched quite visibly and he was on the verge of simply flinging her off into a rosebush. Mhm... thorns.
But no! He had more self-control than that! (... right?)
"Sakura..." he glared at the pink blob from the corner of his eye, not even deeming her important enough to turn his head properly. His teammates eyes went wide in apprehension, one finger on her lip in an ATTEMPT to look cute. It failed terribly.
"YESSS, Sasuke-kun?" she batted her eyelashes, not realizing her obnoxious voice was giving everyone in a 20-mile radius a throbbing headache. HE SAID HER NAME! Was this her chance? Was he finally asking HER out? Inner Sakura rejoiced.
Sasuke paused for a moment, saying 'get off' never usually worked for some reason. A slow, devilish smirk formed and he had to fight back the urge to snicker evilly (kukukuku).
"I'm gay."
And then Sakura died. No, not really.
"WHAAAT!? FOR WHO?!!?"
"Naruto."
AND SO, THE MONSTROUS ROACH WAS DEFEATED BY THE SMEXY GANGSTER OF LOVE AND HIS LOVELY KITSUNE WIFE- UZUMAKI NARUTO! BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!111FOXELEVEN
The End
Epilogue: The blonde pig of doom married the obese butterfly of food.