/ And another one bites the dust
Oh why can I not conquer love?
And I might have thought that we were one
Wanted to fight this war without weapons
Fifteen year old Isabelle Lightwood has felt broken down more times than she cares to admit. Whether it be a broken heart, a broken friendship, or a broken soul; Izzy had felt it all. Sometimes she went through relationships so fast that she felt like she would never truly fall in love with someone. She had been betrayed by so many people - including her own mind - that she had trouble trusting anyone at all. She had sat back and let people she trusted manipulate her without doing anything to stop it.
/ And I wanted it, I wanted it bad
But there were so many red flags
Now another one bites the dust
Yeah, let's be clear, I'll trust no one
Izzy felt like she needed to fight back against her demons. She desperately wanted to be a happy person again, but every time she felt close to achieving happiness, her demons would pull her back. She felt like that somebody, somewhere, was stopping her from taking any pleasure in anything. She's tried explaining her feelings to her mother and to Alec, but no one seems to genuinely understand what she's going through; so for the first time in her life, she feels completely and utterly alone.
/ You did not break me
I'm still fighting for peace
Months went by and Isabelle was still the same. She couldn't seem to get herself out of this mood. When she didn't have to go out and hunt, she spent most of her time locked up in her room in the institute. On one particularly better day, Izzy realized that she fix her life and go back to living how she did before she had broken down. She got up slowly and looked into the mirror. She looked at her reflection and hardly recognized the person she saw. She looked herself in the eye and realized in that moment that she was going to be okay.
/ Well, I've got thick skin and an elastic heart,
But your blade - it might be too sharp
I'm like a rubber band until you pull too hard,
Yeah, I may snap and I move fast
But you won't see me fall apart
'Cause I've got an elastic heart
Day by day, Isabelle started to feel more and more like her old self. She started to go hunting more with Jace and Alec, and she started to return to some of her old hobbies. But she didn't get her confidence back just like that; it took time for her to be able to feel happiness again. When she was having a good day, it was hard for her to enjoy it, for she was afraid it would get taken away from her. Some days, it was like she had made absolutely no progress at all, and she would be back in bedroom, locked away for days. When those days passed, she would have to look herself in the mirror and tell herself that she was strong and she wouldn't fall apart.
/ I've got an elastic heart,
Yeah, I've got an elastic heart.
Eighteen year old Isabelle Lightwood has not felt broken in years. She often wishes that she could tell her fifteen year old self that everything is going to be okay. Now, Izzy is 100% confident in herself and her body. People try to shame her for choosing to reveal her body more than most would, but Isabelle doesn't care. She loves herself and that's all that really matters. She spent nearly two years trapped in her own thoughts, and now she is able to be who she always wanted to be. One time a friend asked her how she deals with all of the body-shaming. Isabelle only smiled and said "I guess I've got an elastic heart."