Disclaimer: I do not own or claim to own any recognizable and/or licensed material appearing in this work of fiction in any way, shape, and/or form. I am not attempting to or making any financial profit from this work of fiction in any way, shape, and/or form with any recognizable and/or licensed material appearing in this work of fiction in any way, shape, and/or form. I am not claiming or making any claims to owning any recognizable and/or licensed material appearing in this work of fiction in any way, shape, and/or form. All recognizable and/or licensed material in any way, shape, and/or form belongs to their respective owners in any way, shape, and/or form recognized to the fullest extent of the law.
AN: This is just a project of mine. Expect either an update daily or at best a couple of days between them.
Also, thanks to IRead2MuchManga99 since I bounced idea off of them for a few parts of this.
Anyway, enjoy.
The UAA, the premiere organization for killers around the globe and I would finally be part of it. I just need to kill another wackjob killer and I'll be almost in the top twenty. This one'll be easy as hell if the last few were any example of what was to come. I come in, kick this guy's ass, and I'm home before dinner.
Man, I can't help but think about how great I am at times, it's like my sheer greatness just makes it impossible for any of these losers to kill me. If the last few were any indication of what I was dealing with than getting to the top ten was going to be a goddamn piece of cake.
Ah, I can see it now. I head up to the head honcho once I'm Rank 2 and I demolish him, kicking his ass just like everyone else before him and taking his spot as Rank 1 and then I'll be both famous and rich as all hell. I would be a celebrity and I'll be one kickass boss too. I can hardly wait for when I dethrone Rank 1. It'll be incredible.
Anyway, might as well check the letter some lackey gave me once I got to the place. I think it's a police station but hey, I'm probably going to wreck the place and they'll probably build some UAA thing here, probably another police station but this one...you know, filled with like assassins and stuff. It's all real basic in truth, you wreck a place, UAA comes in, a few months later you've got some UAA thing there. Rinse and repeat. Me? I would totally turn this place into a strip club or...a double strip club? Is that a thing or is it-wait a second, I've got this letter so I should probably check it out.
Hello Rank 22. This letter is merely confirming that you're Ranking Match between Rank 21 has been accepted and you can enter at anytime from the times between 9:00 AM and 9:00 PM. Please be mindful of recording equipment and do dress to impress.
Sincerely, the UAA Ranking Battles Board Chairman...
Damn name was smudged away because the idiot wrote in ink. Who the hell does that? Has this guy ever even heard of a computer.
I swear, fucking losers run the UAA half the time.
Anyway, ignoring whatever idiot was in charge of the fucking ancient operation they've got going on, I opened up the doors in front of me and looked around before spotting the cop at the desk, going over a few papers but I ignored him when I walked up and instead pushed him away when I hopped over the desk to look at the monitors in front of him.
Alright, let's see. Pointless shit, some cops talking, more cops, more cops, dammit how many cops are here! Okay, more cops, and, big surprise, more cops. When the hell was I was going to find this guy?
Oh wait, bingo! Guy was in some room with a few other, you guessed it, cops and I, as an afterthought, knocked the officer in front of me out. I really didn't need him warning this guy the Grim Reaper was here, would be way cooler when I showed up in, like always, spectacular style. So, anyway, I walked by a few more cops in the halls once I got through the doors and was looking down the hall, where Rank 21 (my future rank) was (probably) waiting for me.
Oh man, I think I'm getting anxious cause I can't stop from grinning in excitement. I was about to own Rank 21 and then, after him, I would be destroying Rank 1 eventually and be king of the UAA. It was going to be so sweet when I got there.
No! Stay focused man. You've got to stay styling when you get in there and to do that you can't smile. Badasses got to come in like a boss.
I took a moment to get myself together at the door where Rank 21 lied just on the other side and taking a glance at the camera crew behind me I gave a grin before I kicked open the doors, one slamming into some no name officer and throwing him off to the side while I strolled in like I owned the place. Probably would after I cleaned out the Ranks. Looking around, I spotted a dozen or so cameras up above me on the walls and I couldn't stop my grin. I wonder what everyone was thinking that would be seeing this fight live.
Anyway, getting back to my goal, I saw Rank 21 smiling with two other cops, some bald Asian guy and another Latino man but I really didn't care since neither of those guys were ranked or even in the UAA probably, they would have taken down this guy already if they were.
"Hey 21!" I walked up to the guy, only drawing his attention for the moment before he turned back to the two cops he was talking to and only succeeded in pissing me off when he held up a box of donuts to the two. Who the hell did this guy think he was? I was about to own his ass and he better understand that! "HEY! Didn't you hear me!"
The guy was still ignoring me but the two cops were backing away, the bald guy taking the box of donuts when 21 offered the box to him as he sighed.
"Sorry, can I help you?" The asshole finally turned around (about time) and that stupid smile on his face actually pissed me off more than this fucker ignoring me did.
"You know why I'm here asshole now are we going to fight or what!" I got close to him, I knew this guy was going to be a pushover and now all I needed to do was to probably give this guy a glare and he would probably shit himself.
"I really don't, mind telling me why you came in here shouting?" This guy was really starting to piss me off. I fought some guy like him before and now this little 'I'm not an assassin, I'm just a normal guy' gimmick is one of the most annoying things I've come across in the UAA and I've been in it since I offed Rank 30 when he got on my nerve and got into this. "I'm not really sure why but I think you're mistaking me for someone else."
"And who is it?" I'll play his game I guess, for probably a few more seconds before I just kill this loser.
"I'll take you to him, he's in lock up I think." This guy, yeah he's beyond annoying now and when he turned around I planned to just snap his neck but the son of a bitch dodged my lunge by sidestepping but at least his damn stupid smile is finally gone, I was getting sick of it. I see a glint in his hand and that's the only warning I get before I'm backpedaling, dodging a few lighting quick strikes from what looks like a scalpel doctors would use for surgery.
Alright, one question now: How the hell did this bastard get Rank 21? The last guy I fought had a sword bigger than he was and knew how to use it even if he was some emo looking blonde kid. He would have demolished this loser in seconds with his tiny knife (if you can even call it that). Goddamn the UAA has gone to shit because of this new Rank 1. I'll be glad when I take that loser down.
"Wow, so you do got some fight in you then?" I grinned as I took a step forward, dropping the case I had over my back and it popped open once it hit the ground, that what crappy latches do for you. Anyway, I kicked my favorite weapon up into the air and the thing that made me a fan favorite. I admit, I kinda copied it from some dead goth girl, M-something Moon-something (why the hell does some dead girl matter?), but I made it so much better. This thing had a crap ton of surprises which includes a shotgun on one end, a SMG at the other, one big ass wicked scythe blade along with the SMG, and, the best part of it, a cigarette dispenser and lighter along the middle of the handle so I can get a quick smoke in after killing whatever loser I was up again. I call it Grim, you know, like the Grim Reaper? Pretty fucking awesome, right? And if you don't think that's epic, I've been thinking of adding some type of igniting system on the scythe blade to get the whole hellfire look. Would make this thing look even more badass.
Oh man, this fight is going to be epic, I can't wait to rip through this fucker with Grim.
"Dear God, you really just annoy me." Rank 21 sighed when he slipped his tiny little knife into his pocket and instead walked over to a desk, reaching down and pulling out a bag he must have kept underneath his desk (this loser probably used some weak ninja crap so I'll demolish this wannabe). "I can't believe you killed Cloud."
"Believe it you dumbass and you'll get to hear all the details from that emo bitch down in hell!" I slid one foot forward while lowering my center of gravity while I spun my scythe behind my back, the blade leaning over my shoulder and it was pointed towards 21.
"And you're just some disrespectful punk too?" 21 sighed again as he unzipped the bag, leaning on the table for a moment and that's all I needed.
"And I'm about to kill you!" Grim was swinging down and cleaved the desk in front of me in half, the guy was rolling back in his chair and he was laughing now, his head in his hands before he looked at me and I froze for a bit.
This guy...his eyes...they were like fucking fire. He hated me-no. Hate doesn't describe the thing in this guy's eyes. He wanted to rip me apart a few times over.
But, badasses like me, we get that look all the time from losers who are just jealous. I shook it off like any badass would and just gave the guy a grin.
"You ready to die loser?"
"FUCK ME!" The guy screamed and I was avoiding a few knives from his hands while I dragged Grim with me as I jumped back since the damn thing was stuck in the ground before I ripped it back and pointed the top of the scythe at 21.
"Chill the fuck out!" A spray of bullets erupted from the SMG I had up there but the guy was gone so I only tore up the chair in front of me and I didn't see him anymore, just a bunch of panicking cops before a door slammed shut as shutter came down over the tech lab across the room.
"So, you're in there huh?" I just swung the scythe around at him and pulled down the hidden trigger, unleashing another spray from the SMG and the armor piercing rounds should do the job for me and I would just take a quick snapshot of the bloody room with that loser in it and I would be golden.
The bullets didn't get through, sure they dented the damn thing but besides that they didn't do anything else.
"What the hell?" I lowered my scythe, this was some weird shit and the shutters suddenly sprung up and Rank 21 was just looking at me now, with an expressionless look on his face.
"I guess I'm collecting another slide then." This guy...he freaked me the fuck out right now. He was so damn...cold all of a sudden. Writing it off, I flipped a switch and spun the scythe in my hand, the tip digging into the ground behind me.
"Yeah, that's not happening you freak!" A blast of buckshot ripped through the window but the guy was gone again. It was like this loser could teleport or something but if I couldn't do it than there was nowhere this no name loser would be able to so I just let another shell go, hopefully dealing with this fucker since I slung the scythe back over my shoulder.
"You dead yet!" I hope so, this guy was weird now and I don't like the weird bastards in the UAA. They always try to talk to you and be all deep and shit. I'm just trying to be a badass killer and they cramp my style WAY too much. Once I get Rank 1 I'll kick all of those weirdos out and keep 'em out.
"Hardly." This freak was behind me! Dammit!
I was too slow and the freak's scalpel cut a thin line in my back and suddenly I felt very woozy before I shook it off and found the asshole in front of me and he was grinning as he looked down at the scalpel with a few drops of blood on it.
"What the hell is wrong with you?" I am definitely pissed now! "Do you have any idea how much my coat cost!" Okay, so it's like $80 bucks but that's a fucking struggle for some kid just out of college and buying a sweet ass pad like I did.
"Blood, it's wonderful thing, isn't it?" The freak was staring almost lovingly at the blood on his scalpel before he looked back up at me. "Don't you agree?"
"C-C-Cut the crap you freak!" Okay, that's it, SMG time.
Squeezing down the trigger, I was sure I would deal with this guy now but he had already sidestepped my spray of bullets (it was like he knew what I was going to do) and I took a step back when he took one forward.
"Let's see what you've got kid." The guy picked up a meat cleaver from his feet and I just now noticed the shit ton of knives around the room he must have scattered when he dodged my first wave of gunfire. He pointed his meat cleaver at me while he picked up another much larger knife, a thing I usually see in a butcher shop. "My name is Dexter Morgan, Rank 21 in the UAA."
"Yeah, and I'm about to be Rank 21 and I don't tell my name to dead man walking!" I charged him, grinning when I knew I caught him by surprise before the weird fucker somehow stopped my sweet scythe with his tiny knife before bringing the cleaver down, the broad side, and slapped me away.
"I've had enough of you kid."
"Fighters ready?" A voice from the speaker suddenly resounded in the room and I grinned, it was finally official I guess.
"Welcome viewers to the Rank 21 Ranking Battle! Let's hope this is a bloodbath!" The announcer was definitely followed by a cheer by all my fans watching me. "Grim takes on the Dark Defender! Who wins this battle to the death?"
"You ready to die?" Usually that got people serious but the guy just smiled at me (the freak) and then I was dodging another scalpel aimed for my neck and Grim tossed aside a cleaver he threw at me from slicing off my head.
This guy was actually a threat? Who thought some loser who brought donuts would be dangerous?
"I'm going to enjoy this." This guy was way to calm, even as I noticed his hand was filled with another set of scalpels and they flew at me but I easily knocked these away while I ran forward, Grim spinning in front of my for a moment before it was high in the air, digging into the ceiling so I could bury my boot into this freak's head but he ducked and put a scalpel into my leg.
"FUCK!" That asshole! I flip the switch near my hand and a spray of buckshot fire out of the end of Grim but 21 dodged it like he dodged my SMG the first time (again like he knew what I was going to do) so I just fired off two more shells and the guy was suddenly on my side and another knife would have gotten me if I didn't plant one foot and rip Grim out, sending it swinging at the guy like a batter up at the plate. He dodged it, taking a few quick steps back but I was already on him, launching off of the wall with Grin unleashing a spray of bullets from the SMG up front when I switched it back.
Man, it would be awesome if I had thought of that hellfire idea after I knocked off Rank 22 but I rushed over to Rank 21 like a day or two afterwards.
Anyway, getting back to the fight, I was being a boss while I was swinging Grim around, unleashing a down right blizzard of bullets when a knife suddenly lodged into my shoulder and 21 was in front of me suddenly and I got a solid look into his eyes.
They weren't focused on me, they were focused on the blood that was on his two knives before I swung Grim at him, intending to take his head off now and finish this freak but he used his long knife to stop me before he was suddenly kicking me so like what any boss would do I planted the end of my scythe in the ground and went total Matrix style when I held myself up on the scythe but then I heard some weird clang and I flipped the switch, throwing myself up with the recoil from letting loose another shell.
I was right to move up, I just dodged a few knifes that only added a few thin cuts to my coat instead of drawing more blood.
Okay, rebounding knives off a wall is new but I can handle this loser still. I just got to be even more of a badass while I fight now.
"You're not very good at dodging." The guy was far away now, across the room and sitting down in a chair. "How did you even kill one of us?"
"Shut the hell up loser!" SMG again and this time the guy fell back, rolling with the chair and underneath a desk that fell over, shielding him for about a second before the bullets ripped through it and I kept it up until the clip was empty and it popped out, falling to the floor and I grinned.
"Not a very good shot either." The guy was off to the side now and now I was pissed off so I flipped the switch but when I pulled the trigger nothing happened.
"And unprepared." The guy sighed as he sat down on a desk unrolling a cloth and staring longingly at the dozen or so knives inside. "I guess I'll finish this now."
Okay, so I'm out of bullets. Fuck. Now I got to deal with this freak up close and now I've got to take him down way less cooler. Damn.
Anyway, I rushed this freak now, swinging Grim in front of me to end this now but he stops it with another of his big knives so I take a few steps back and throw Grim behind me before swinging again, acting like I was swinging at a pitch for a home run and the guy ducks underneath Grim before he's way too close and I turn to the side to avoid a stab with one of his knives before rushing back, Grim coming back and actually managing to catch the guy in the back.
And shit just got crazy.
The guy freezes, one hand lashing out and holding Grim in place, stopping me from pulling it back any further and he just looks at me again, the same crazy dead look he's had on his face before but it was changing now, looks like the fucker was finally going to take me seriously.
"So, this is my blood?" The freak just looked down, at the blood running down his leg and on the ground. I just roll my eyes and give Grim another pull but it didn't budge, the fucker had an iron grip on the pole and I couldn't do a damn thing with it.
"What the fuck man!" I try pulling again but I can't do anything while this freak starts pulling me forward with one hand no matter how much I try to pull back.
"This..." The guy doesn't finish because suddenly I'm flying through the air, smacking into a wall and I was groggy for a second before I snapped myself out of it and got back to my feet, just rolling out the kink in my neck like a badass would.
"Good job loser, mind doing that again?" With grim gone, I just crack my knuckles, I'm going to get it back obviously but who doesn't enjoy beating on freaks like this guy? Anyway, I roll my neck and stop a few meters from the guy who's staring at Grim before he suddenly grinning when he grabs the handle with both hands.
"This feeling..." The crazy fucker isn't going to do what I think he's going to do, right?
"It's..." No! No loser is that crazy! He takes Grim out and he's fucked and I don't get to kick his ass then!
"Nothing!" He did it, he ripped out Grim and he started laughing now, he's laughing while he's looking at the blood on the ground, all of it coming from him and he's just laughing while he's probably dying.
"I feel nothing! Why?" This crazy asshole is screaming at the sky or something now so I'm done.
"Blood is all that matter so why does mine do nothing!" The freak kept screaming at the ceiling, ranting about blood so I picked up a knife and flung it at him.
He stopped it through...
WITH HIS FUCKING HAND! Literally! He let the knife go through his hand and didn't even flinch! How the fuck does someone do that!
This guy went from being a freak to some crazy asshole that suddenly doesn't feel any pain!
"You shouldn't have done that." And now he was calm again, this asshole is definitely crazy.
"What the fuck are you!" This guy was probably some genetic freak.
"That doesn't matter." The guy ripped the knife out of his hand, grinning when he saw the blood covering the blade and coming from his hand.
"What the fuck?" Okay, I'm taking a few steps back now. This shit is ridiculous but a badass can't break character and ask the guys behind me what the fuck was this guy's problem. I have to get my shit back together and end this guy and get to Rank 21 already.
"All that matters is that I'll just add another slide to my connection." And he was grinning at me now...I want to get the fuck out of here but I have to stay to get to 21 so I just get into a boxing stance, I've seen that shit enough times to know how to do it.
"Fuck your collection." Yeah, best comeback to this weird fucker, well a punch to the face is always better through.
"FUCK YOU!" The guy dodged me, got underneath my arm, and I was flying through the air again and landed on my back but I got back up and dodged the crazy motherfucker when he tried to get his hands around my throat.
"FUCK YOU!" The guy keeps up with me, every step I take back he's on me and always going for another lunge, always trying to strangle me but I've got a plan now, against this loser it wasn't even hard to come up with.
"FUCK YOU!" Hell, is this all this guy can say now.
Anyway, I've taken enough steps back and just like I thought (me being the fucking genius badass that I am) I kicked Grim up into my awaiting hands, even adding a few spins to it before I caught the blade, the scythe blade hanging over my back and I was grinning cuz I knew I looked like a complete and utter badass right now.
Quick checklist:
Scythe? Check.
Jacket flare out behind me? Check.
A bit of blood? Check (maybe a bit too much so got to work on that but not with this psycho)
Determined expression? Fuck that, I'm smiling before I cut this loser in half.
So yeah, I'm all set and when the loser charges me I've got him right where I want him.
"Time to die fuckface!" I charge the loser and now I've got him on the defensive. He'll try to dodge Grim and I'll rip this loser apart and move on to Rank 20 in...Give me thirty or so seconds? A minute tops.
So the loser may dodge my first swing and get out of the way of my second but there's nowhere he's getting out of me overhead smash. He's done for.
Well, he would have if he didn't stop the damn scythe with his arm...DOES HE KNOW WHAT A SCYTHE IS! I tear through his arm like I should have cut him in half but the crazy fucker must have used his arm to buy him some time cuz the asshole's blood got in my eyes.
NsF: Get some damn sunglasses or something. A badass can't get blood in his eyes when he's killing.
Anyway, I know I probably look like a dumbass now but I can't do anything since I can't see but I can still hear.
The guy's coming up behind me so I swing Grim down and I grin when I feel Grim lodge into something, probably soft and fleshy and I'm right. I've got the fucker through the side and Grim's other end is through his side.
"See ya loser." I pull back but the guy stops Grim, somehow but I guess it's that crazy strength or something.
"Not yet..." Blood is coming out this guy in waves so I snort.
"Let go of my scythe loser, I got to clean the blade already." I pull again but he keeps me from doing it. He's just looking at me now.
"You're an idiot kid."
"Says the guy with the scythe in him." You would think the creep with the scythe in him would be dead by now but he's not. Why exactly?
"Says the guy who doesn't know what killing is?"
Two word: The fuck?
"You really don't know a thing?" The guy pulls himself forward, Grim moving with him.
Seriously, why the fuck is this guy still alive?
"You act like this is just a game, something you should take pride in." Okay, this fucker is too close now.
Seriously, what the fuck? Shut up and die already!
"You act like killing is something you can just do but the truth is you can't."
If the guy would let go, I could show him how to do it right.
"You act like killing is a choice."
I will literally pay this motherfucker to shut up for the next ten seconds so I can kill him in peace!
"It's not. Killing isn't something you understand. Killing is a disease, an addiction that you're just playing with."
Who the hell does this guy think he is? Who the hell is he trying to be?
"Killing isn't for children."
"Who the fuck are you calling a kid!"
"Who else dresses up like an adult, tries to play with dad's tie and act like he's a man? What little girl doesn't play with mom's makeup and wear her clothes? You're nothing but a kid and you don't know what it means to kill. You're trying to enter into a world you don't need to be in. Nobody deserves to be in this game but we're all stuck in it. None of us had a choice!" The guy looks pissed all of a sudden but then he's smiling. "I had my reasons to kill and that's why I killed but you!" He somehow gets a hand up and points at me, still smiling. "My reasons might have been bad, I may have killed out of desire but you didn't! You think this is a choice! You think this is a joke! Just a game when it's not! Killing has never been a game! Killing is one of the worst things anyone can do and you think it's something to play with!" Through it all, this crazy fucker is still smiling. I guess that's how creeps like him get by, that and pissing the wrong people off.
"I was born in blood, I killed before I was a man because I had to, because it was in my nature." The guy's still smiling at me, completely ignoring the fact that he's pissing off the guy who holds his life in his hands or maybe he just doesn't care since he knows he's a goner anyway. "You still think killing is a joke so you're nothing but a kid trying to play, trying to act like he's an adult."
"Yeah, guess what through?" I lean forward, grinning like him and he looks me in the eye, still smiling like the freak he is.
"What?" Yeah right, he knows precisely what I'm about to do, he even lets his hand fall off Grim so he knows he's fucked.
"This kid just killed you."
I rip Grim through the fucker. I cut him in half but I'm not smiling anymore.
"Congratulations!"
"Rank 21: Dexter Morgan: DEAD!"
Usually I would be celebrating but right now I'm not, I'm just looking down at the fucker below me and I'm not smiling. When this guy died, he was smiling for some reason. He died smiling...WHO SAID HE COULD DIE LIKE THIS! WHY THE FUCK DOES HE THINK HE CAN MOCK ME LIKE THIS!
"Fuck you." I kick the legs away.
"Fuck you!" I'm stomping on this loser now.
"FUCK YOU!" Huh, I can get why he said it now, it's a good one to say when you're smashing a loser's head with your foot.
"FUCK YOU!" Grim is swinging now.
"FUCK YOU!" I'll hack this fucker apart! Who thinks he can mock me!
"FUCK YOU!" Who the fuck said he could die like that!
"FUCK YOU!" Who the fuck said he could disrespect me like this!
"Enough!" Some guys in suits stop me, they pull me back while they toast the body but they don't see me pick up the scalpel the guy used.
Dexter Morgan.
Go fuck yourself.
AN: And finished.
Peace.