Songs Used: The Eye By Brand Carlisle I do not own it
Contrary to where life has currently landed Jennasis Teller she is not a stupid woman. She'd asked for this life knowing there was at least a twenty percent chance she'd land i cell based on the fact she'd been born into criminality and hardwired to be a smart ass. Add in being married to someone crazier than you knowing he came his crazy honest…. And well it edges on up to fifty percent.
No, her life choices don't make her stupid mostly just fatalistic.
Flat out telling Gemma she'd never get her hands on the babies had been an incredible fuck up. Obviously she's here but as much as she loves Gem she annoys the shit out of her. She'd thought she was in the clear with Otto's nasty little tongue biting thing.
She sits up in her bunk and the four oatmeal colored walls remind her of the rehab hospital she'd lived in after her injury. She hated the color then and she hates it now. If she's honest she really doesn't want to spend seven years in this box.
She's scared and can't say it. They only person able to hear it and not judge her is dead, and for once it's not Opie she's missing its Donna.
She's made her bed she'll lay in it.
Jenna eyes the metal sink toilet combo and wonders how she's going to use it with no slide board. "Note to self-next time you're in the pokey, bring a potty chair… or slide board. Potty chair… definitely." She paused. "Stop laughing Opie, I can feel it you fucker." She said casting her eyes upward.
-/-/-
Lohan sat across from Jenna who was pale, and yet still managed to look like she had a fever. She looked grubby and like she'd cried herself to sleep every night she was inside.
"Jen you look like shit." She said succinctly.
"Good thing motivational pep talks ain't what we pay you for. You suck Lohan." She shot back halfheartedly.
Lohan blanched a little. "Look how long till you get me out of here?" Jenna pushed on while leaning on the table set between them
"The person who implicated you is in protective custody and it makes setting bail harder if it's federal." Lohan replied flatly.
"Great, either Gemma is getting even via fabricated evidence or Jossara turned on me. Damn it. Alright, I'm not letting Jax see me like this keep him distracted, because if he knows my health is hitting the shitter he's gonna do anything he can to get me out. I have rights as a disabled citizen. The prison is not meeting them, I need my wheelchair not this rickety loaner and I need a bedside commode and or slide board before I get an infection, please see that those things get done." She orders head held high.
-/-/-
Jax runs into Lohan coming out of the jail as he's headed in. "How's my girl holdin' up? When can you get her out?"
"She's sick but okay, she doesn't want you to see her that way." Lohan said cringing in anticipation of Jax's response.
"Fuck that."
"No, Jax she looks bad and it's only going to make you angry considering she thinks your Mom might have turned her in. It was either Gem or Joss."
"Damn it if Ma turned her in because Jenna said we weren't giving the kids to her I swear…"
"I don't pretend to know how your world works Jax but… look in to Hap's girlfriend too." Lohan advised.
-/-/-
He goes to the club first because it's closer than Diosa. He walks straight in finding Happy at the bar with his blonde chippie. He grabs her by the hair and yanks her out of the seat to fling her against a wall.
"What the Fuck Jax?!" Happy shouts and various members he's not exactly tracking who tries to pull him away but he's to intent on his goal.
"I swear to God Happy I'll shoot you right in here in front of her if you don't let me get the truth out of her right now. Not a graze either straight in the head you hear me. No one fucks with my woman and she's in a cell because of this back stabbing little cunt." He snarls without looking at Happy's reaction.
"I have no clue what're talking about." The girl whimpers trying to scurry away from Jax toward Happy only to be blocked by Chibs.
"No? I'd think real hard before sticking to that particular gun. Ya see Joss; I know the way Jenna's mind works. If she thinks you or my mother turned on her she thinks one of you turned state's evidence on her. I don't think my mama is that lazy. She fucks you over and you know it. It's not her style to rat. You and your federal marshal brother however? Seems right up your alley."
"I didn't…I told him I wasn't pressing charges."
"Your brother is a fed?" Happy asked stonily.
She looks up at him and all of the good things she sees in Happy are entirely gone. "She told me to choose and I chose you. Lee's just mad."
"Get up off the floor Jossara." Happy orders/
"He's just mad and trying to make me pay."
"No love he's trying to get you killed." Chibs corrects offering her a hand up.
Jax looked between Joss and Happy. "You brought her in. You deal with her."
"Deal with me?" Joss Clarifies voice and knees shaking in time with her heartbeat.
"I don't care if he dumps you, puts a bullet in you, or fucks you in secret as long as you never step in this club house or go anywhere near my wife again." Jax turned and left without another word.
-/-/-
She can feel the kidney infection taking hold and when she has to catheterize for the first time in years she knows it's not a good thing. It leaves her feeling like a helpless invalid and it's the thing that finally pushes her over the edge.
Jenna sits precariously balanced on the dirty jailhouse toilet sobbing her eyes out.
"I can't be in jail…I'll die in here." She said talking to herself mostly because she was lonely. She puts on one of the adult diapers they'd given her as no one had provided the things she needed yet and she wasn't sure just how well her bladder would cooperate.
It's dehumanizing but she does it.
Then she crawls on to her bunk to cry herself to sleep.
-/-/
She later wakes to her cell door clanging open. "Got a visitor Sweet Cheeks." The guard informs her with a leer and the wild blooded Winston in her contemplates spitting in his face. It'd serve nothing, she can't take being more caged than she already and she's so uncomfortably hot it's making her tired.
She sits up. "On your feet." The guard says.
She cast her eyes to the chair next to her. "Really? What you think I use this for decorative purposes." She says smartly. She really can't help it/
"Move…"
"Fine." She transfers without another word. "Never in a million years thought I would miss Dave Hale as much as I do now." She whispered to herself.
-/-/-
She finds herself back in the room she was in with Lohan earlier. The door swings open and a man with long red hair and a strung out look to him strides through.
"Lee Toric…Retired federal marshal."
"Jennasis Teller and I just have no more fucks to give. Sorry to disappoint Joss' high and mighty big brother."
"So you know who I am. Do you know what you stand to lose?" He asked leaning on the table and into her space. Jenna doesn't back away. She simply watches him curiously.
"Seven to ten for accessory to an attempt I played no part in. I'm not stupid, despite what these pretty little silver bracelets lead you to believe." She jangles her cuffs to illustrate her point.
"You'll lose your kids." He counters.
"I might that's true but you've already lost your sister in every way that matters. She chose love over blood and that's why I'm here…destroy a mentor warn her off the life right? Thing is you're going to get her killed trying to show her whose boss. Difference is this time I'm not around to save her and my husband, my family takes no prisoners."
"I can help you; I'd need certain information in return of course on the Sons or the Mayans. Your choice really, though I must admit I think I'm your best bet here. Your son will practically be a man when you see freedom again."
Jenna laughs a harsh painful sound. "No, you can go fuck yourself I'd rather rot than take your idea of help. You want your sister out of the life you sick fucker? Find a new angle; I'm the daughter of Piermont Winston you cannot wait me out. I will not crack, I will not falter. I'm the epitome of the ready and loyal queen I was born and raised to be. I wish you the very best of luck in your smear campaign because if you fail? You will die a screaming at the hands of my husband for your failures."
She bangs on the table. "We're done here!" She shouts. "Your sister's view of you is skewed to a kinder light. You're so much crazier than Jossara let on." She smiles sharply at him.
She calls on her way out. "Oh and Lee? I hope she's still alive when I make bail. Her boyfriend is a club first kind of guy and he is literally fucking clinically insane, He enjoys killing."
-/-/-
Back in her cell all the wind leaves her sails and she knows something is very wrong but she just can't place it.
She floats between sleep and wakefulness fitfully.
Sometime later she thinks she's dreaming when Opie sits on the foot of her bed and Daddy pushes the hair away from her face. She can feel the action and yet feels nothing at all. "Got yourself in a fix huh my girl?" Piney says low and rumbly and his voice soothes her so much she might cry yet again.
"Just wanted to help… fix it. It's my fault. You're both dead and it's all my fault. If I had just-"
"No, Jen we made our choices, no one forced our hands." Opie advised.
"I'm mad at Jax. I don't want to be the woman who hates her man for being who he is."
"So don't baby, forgive and move on holding on to it is what leads to hate…." Piney says pressing a kiss to her forehead.
A female guard rushes in and they dissipate like smoke on fresh air.
-/-
When Jax presses Gemma on the issue she swears she didn't turn on Jenna and he's inclined to believe her. He and Nero have meetings in Stockton to help Alvarez move his H through the ports and expand the whoring business.
Jenna is just going to love that.
-/-/-
They meet the crooked cop Charlie Brodsky in an unassuming looking deli.
The Madam they'll be working with is pretty in the hard knock life kind of way. She flirts with Nero and he heads her off out of general expedience he doesn't need his mom fucking shit up.
She eyes his wedding ring. "The wife approve of your business?" She asks conversationally.
He cocks his head to the side allowing himself to think of Jenna for the first time that day. "My wife is one of a kind she is anything but typical. You'll like her as long as you don't cross any lines."
"Lines?" The lady leans on the rickety table invitingly displaying her chest. He feels nothing. The takes out his cigarettes fiddling with the pack. He'd much rather be sharing a joint with Jenna.
He huffs out a sardonic laugh as he lights his cigarette "She's a possessive lover and not afraid of violence in order to get her point across that what's hers is hers and not to tampered with."
"Territorial then?"
"No Darlin' it's deeper than that." He takes a drag of his cigarette as the other woman eyes him.
"So you won't be sampling when you tour the house?"
He exhales smoke. "No ma'am at the end of the day cheating doesn't touch the places she can."
-/-/-
Collette watched him closely as lounged on the couch. She is spouting stuff he should listen to but he can't make himself. "She'd never know." She says scooting close to him on the seat.
"I'd know." He counters.
"You don't strike me as all that moral." She surmises scooting in more.
He sighs morosely "Maybe if I was a better man she wouldn't be where she is. So, no, I'm not heavy on the morals but I am honest with her and I don't feel like inflicting the pain the truth of fucking someone else causes her. Again, Thanks but no thanks."
The phone ringing saves him from saying more. "Yeah? What? Where is she? You're sure Mom? I'm on my way."
He shoves himself to his feet. "Guys!" He calls to the ones who'd come with him. Juice, Chibs, and Tig all give some sort of response. "It's Jenna, We gotta go!"
"What's up with Baby?" Tig asked tucking in his shirt and taking the stairs two at a time.
Juice disentangles him from a brunette sitting in his lap. "Mama get in a prison fight?" Juice asked.
Chibs comes around the corner. "Lass okay?"
"No, she's not." Jax replies.
-/-/-
"She was septic Jax." Tara's saying as he watched her sleep from the hospital room doorway. Juice fiddles with her iPod and while Chibs paces and Tig and his mother sit in the vinyl seated chairs. Ann sits on the bed. Tara had convinced the guards to just stand outside the door.
"How bad was it?" Jax asks not taking his eyes of Jenna.
"Her body poisoned itself Jax all because she couldn't use the restroom properly. It was in her blood. That's not good Jackson".
"What're you saying?" He spares a glance at Tara.
"I'm saying as her doctor and as your friend you have to bail her out and keep her out because with the conditions and dangers she could face and have faced will kill her. She won't survive it." She retorts her expression growing dark.
He nods and whispers. "Distract him." He tips his chin at the guard.
He steps into the room and waits until Tara has him properly diverted. He closes the door and steps up to the bed rail and begins picking the lock,
"What're you doing Jackson?" Gemma asks.
"He's the only man allowed to cuff me to the bed." Jenna muttered half asleep.
Jax cracks his first real smile in days. "And that's only if she's really liquored up."
"Let Ma do that you're a shitty lock picker." She grumbles.
"That's not- Okay it might be true."
Ann and Jax switch places and she pulls a shim from her pocket and bobby pin from her hair. "Never thought I'd use this skill for my own child."
"Sorry Mama, but at least you came prepared."
"How you feeling my Jenna?"
"Like shit that has been hammered then stomped on by our parade of whores in their best fuck me shoes." She quips.
"Descriptive." Gemma muttered.
"And accurate trust me. I hallucinated Ope and Daddy."
Ann's eyes snap up at that.
"My mind only conjured them up because I needed to feel safe Ma." She says and Ann frees her from her shackles.
"You wouldn't have been sick enough to hallucinate something to make you feel safe while imprisoned if he hadn't-"
"Mama please not now, you wanna play the blame game fine just wait until I have enough energy for it please?"
"Fine but I'm still thinking it!"
"You wouldn't be my Mama if you weren't." gives her a soft chagrined smile.
"She is awful judgey for an ex stripper." Gemma put in.
"Ma! Just go check on the kids both of you!" Jax snaps.
-/-/-
Jax kicks everyone out of the room and climbs up into the bed beside her. "I'm not going to ask you how it was because I've been to prison and I know it didn't go well. I'm going to just get you out and keep it that way."
"Jax this is all that fucking Fed's doing. He wants to make Joss pay for choosing the outlaw life. He's going to take down everyone trying to get her back and he'll use me to do it. He tried putting a deal on the table. I didn't take it." She curls herself around Jax with a contented sigh.
"I figured as much baby. I know you didn't take it even though you probably should." He plays with the hand she lays on his chest.
"I refuse, Jackson you're my life you're what I chose. I won't burn my life down to stay free."
"Tara says you'll die inside."
"We all die Jackson. If you can't fix this then, I lay in my dirty sheeted bed and I deal with the consequences. You didn't make me do you're bidding I did it of my own free will."
"You're wrong, you didn't make that bed I did and I'm going to fix this." He cups her face pressing a kiss on her lips. Her skin feels clammy beneath his palm. Like her fever might be breaking.
"How're the babies? Arie's surgery is next week I need to be out by then."
"They're fine, and you'll be out by day break tomorrow I promise."
He turns up her IPod. And she sings mostly to herself. "I wrapped your love around me like a chain but I never was afraid that it would die you can dance in hurricane only if you're standing in the eye I am a sturdy soul and there ain't no shame in layin' in down in the bed you made. Can you fight the urge to run for another day? You might make it further if you learn to stay…" She drifts off bit by bit soon humming herself to sleep.
Jax watches her as the words, and hums fade to silence and he fights the desire to cry.
She sleeps deeply and his regret and guilt keep him company.
AN: I own nothing but Jenna and Arie, as always the names of Opie's kids and mother are different from cannon. Almost the entire episode happens in fic as well other than the Tara stuff and the scene where Jax sleeps with Collette I wrote that out. I hope you enjoy taking on this last leg of the "Jenna" journey with me. If you liked it please tell me.-MM