Chapter 1: Others worlds and cryptic girls.
A/N: no I'm not sorry about not updating. I'm busy and don't always have time. But when my head gets these funny ideas it does drive me crazy so I have to write them. And this story will be different than my others. Why? Because each chapter will be of a different element and character.
Enjoy!
"Kisame! I'm bored, un!" Deidara shouted from his bed. Kisame didn't even stop what he was doing while he replied, "Then go bother Itachi, or do something else. But don't bother me."
"Fine." And so, the blond bomber left the fish in search for a certain weasel to bug the hell out of. Little did any of the Akatsuki members know, that the gods were also bored and one of them came up with a great idea for entertainment and to make someone in a different dimension less cold-hearted. And all Deidara has to do, is annoy Itachi.
Deidara sulked through the hallways to the living room where he found his target sitting on the recliner, reading a book, again. He tried sneaking up behind Itachi to scare him, but..."What are you doing Deidara?" Yeah, his plans were foiled.
"Trying to scare you." Deidara grumbled under his breath.
"You know that won't work." Itachi said calmly (yeah, he's calm now but wait and see), swiftly turning to the next page.
"Well then I'm going to bug you with questions about your brother, un!" Deidara said, determined to annoy his arch nemesis. Itachi shut his book and was standing over Deidara with his Sharingan activated within a millisecond.
"What?" He demanded. The blond pyromaniac cowered before he suddenly got an idea, moving his foot into position; Deidara asked the question that would surely get him killed.
"Why do you defend him so much, un? Do you love him?" And with that Deidara took off down the halls with the weasel hot on his tail. "IT WAS JUST A QUESTION!" He yelled, gaining the other members' attention which led to several doors slamming open, which also led to the leader getting a headache and the gods' plan to take action.
~Meanwhile.~
"Zea, excellent marks on last weeks' math test." The teacher said; face glowing brightly as she looked at the silent girl in the very back in the corner of the classroom.
"Thanks mam." Zea replied going over the work she had to help someone with at work. Zea was a short, skinny girl, with brown hair that reached her lower back, chocolate brown eyes, full lips and big breasts with curves added along her body. This girl just received 100% for her math test, being able to count since she was put in school.
She knew something was going to happen that day. No one had bullied her since she arrived at school. Well she wasn't bullied every single day, but not being bullied and receiving such news on the same day has never happened before.
Before anymore news or so on could be shared the bell rung signaling the end of Monday. Zea packed up her books and headed out the door, making a bee-line for the gates. The second she put her foot outside the school, thunder went off.
"Shit...this is not good." Zea mumbled, heading straight for her apartment that wasn't far. See, Zea is 16 but also works part-time as a tutor, so her parents got her a small apartment because she was always busy and couldn't work with all the noise while living with them. So as soon as she reached the complex, it started raining. "Bloody idiotic gods." She nearly shouted as her books started to get wet.
Making her way up the stairs, Zea grumbled incoherent words until she reached her floor. She pulled out the keys to her apartment, but as soon as she put the key in the lock, a crash came from inside.
"That sounded like my expensive coffee mug...oh hell no!" She mumbled slamming the door open and heading straight for the kitchen to see the horror of a lifetime. Her mug, specially made for her, on the floor, in pieces, coffee and sugar spread out all over. Zea's eyes lifted to look at the place where her mug WAS to see someone from an anime that she watched not so long ago, in its place. Her eyes then roamed around the rest of the kitchen.
Kisame was on the counter, where her precious mug was. Tobi was in the fridge that stood wide open. Zetsu was hanging out the cupboard. Deidara was hanging on the ceiling fan. Kakuzu was in the sink. Pein was sitting on Konan's lap on the floor. She was standing on Hidan's face. And for some reason there was a weasel in the microwave.
Zea's face turned red from fury and she stomped on Hidan's face, shouting "WHO THE FUCK BROKE MY COFFEE MUG!?" And somewhere in the background there was curses being heard.
Heads shot up, except for Hidan since Zea was standing on his, and turned to the culprit.
"Who broke what?" Kisame asked, looking at the girl curiously. Her head snapped to look at him so fast that he wondered if her neck wasn't broken.
"You!" Zea shouted, suddenly being close enough to wrap her hands around his neck. Before she could start strangling him however, a scratching sound came from the microwave, making her freeze. Every head in the kitchen turned to see the weasel scratching the glass of the microwave. Zea and the weasel was gone before any other noises could be made, the microwave door standing wide open.
That didn't last long however, because... "Leader-sama, why are you sitting on Konan-chans lap?" Tobi asked from the fridge gaining everyone's attention. Laughter erupted from the other members before Kisame finally asked: "Guys, where is Itachi?" And that is how the search for said person began.
Meanwhile Zea was standing in her room glaring daggers at 'the missing Uchiha' that was currently a weasel on her bed staring at her curiously.
"How did I get stuck with you lot?" Zea questioned herself before locking the door to her room and out of nowhere grabbed an animal cage. She turned to the weasel (Itachi) with a blank face. "I do not allow animals in my apartment, so you'll be in here for the remainder of you weasel form." She said, a creepy, sadistic grin spreading across her face. The weasel gave her and the cage one look before bolting into the locked door. That plan didn't work, and so Zea lunged for him. Damn thing, being Itachi, avoided her grasp and started running around the room. "Get back here you little shit!" Zea hollered at the top of her lungs, going after the poor guy.
~Meanwhile~
The rest of the Akatsuki members were busy searching the small apartment for their missing member (who was being chased around a room by a mad girl at the moment). Kakuzu checked under the chairs/couches, noticing that they were of high quality, if he could only sell them (not gonna happen dork). Konan checked the closets. Kisame checked the bathroom, finding a lovely fishy in there (Kisame...fish are friends, not food). Zetsu checked the balcony, lovely plants that he wanted to examine (you are not a potted plant Zetsu, don't touch them). Pein checked the kitchen, and Deidara checked the room marked 'PRIVATE' (not a good idea blondie).
After 12 minutes of searching and finding no sign of the missing person, everyone regrouped in the living-room. "We couldn't find him, but I've found a few things that could be sold for some money." Said Kakuzu, looking around the room with a certain money-hog look in his eyes. The others nodded in agreement. That's when they heard a crash… or six.
"What is that strange girl doing?"Mumbled Pein as they all went to check on her, but found that her door was locked.
Inside the room Zea was chasing the weasel (Itachi) in circles around her room. The weasel jumped onto the shelves, which held her precious statues, and knocked six of them off. Zea didn't notice this (yet) as the crashes reminded her of her special coffee mug, which lay in pieces on the kitchen floor.
"KISAME! YOU'RE DEAD WHEN I GET MY HANDS ON YOU!" Was heard through the door. Everyone turned to said person with questionable looks.
"How does she…." Pein started, but another crash was heard from inside the room. "I don't want to know." He ended, heading for the living-room, the rest trailing behind him.
~Inside the room~
After running around the room more than 50 times trying to catch the damn weasel, Zea stopped and waited. As planned said weasel came flying at her, unable to stop, and crashed into the open cage. Zea locked it and glared at the weasel, again (I do not hold any guilt to harming Itachi). As soon as that task was done, she looked around her room. Broken R200 (each) statues on the floor, R1 000 lamp on the floor, dent in wall and 60 books of which cost R90 each, lay all over the floor.
Zea turned to the crook that committed this crime. "WHY?!" she yelled shaking the cage in all different directions, meaning: left, right, up, down, foreword, backwards, diagonal up both ways, diagonal down both ways, diagonal foreword both ways, diagonal backwards both ways. Now imagine: a weasel in a box, tumbling around again and again.
~Meanwhile with the gods~
"I know she's cruel and cold-hearted and all, but I never knew that she was that cruel." Hades announced. The other 124 gods looked from him, to the girl shaking the weasel like a blender, and back to him.
"Are you sure she isn't your daughter?" Asked Zeus. Hades started laughing hysterically. "I take that as a no then." He said to himself, the other gods nodding along in agreement.
Everyone then ignored the laughing lunatic when Cupid cleared his throat.
"So who do you guys think should fall in-love with her?" The little man in a pink tutu asked.
"Itachi." Said 50 of the gods, including Hades.
"Hidan." Said 1.
"Pein." Said 10.
"Zetsu." Said 5.
"Kisame." Said 50.
"Tobi?" Said the other 8.
Cupid looked at all of them and came up with a decision. "It's a tie between Itachi and Kisame, so I pick both and she will have to pick between the two herself." The little man said with a knowing gleam in his eye (knowing my ass, she is going to make weasel-stew with Itachi and sushi with Kisame).
~Back to Zea~
After shaking the cage, and the weasel, like a tumble-dryer, she glared at the weasel that stood with its legs spread but then fell down unconscious. "And you call yourself a ninja, Itachi? How pathetic." Zea grumbled putting the care in the corner of her room and started cleaning said room. Crying and growling about her broken statues (and wasted money) as she threw the pieces away, packing all of her books back on the shelves in alphabetical order (as they should be), fixing her bed and putting anything else out-of-place back-in-its-place. After the hideous task of reorganizing her wrecked room, Zea stomped out of it to clean the 'other mess' in the kitchen.
Opening her bedroom door and then slamming it closed, she made her way over to the kitchen, with curious Akatsuki members trailing after her, and started saying a nice string of curses that would give Hidan a run for his money.
"Fucking weasel, fucking statues, MY DAMN MONEY, stupid-ass fish, MY BLOODY BOOKS, my fucking kitchen, MY FUCKING EXPENSIVE COFFEE-MUG!" Zea yelled as she cleaned her kitchen. After that was done she turned to the other 9 Akatsuki standing IN HER KITCHEN. "GET OUT OF MY KITCHEN YOU FUCKING HEATHENS!" She screamed and kicked (literally) all of them out into the living-room.
~With the gods~
"Wow...she is so mean." Athena said in disbelief as they looked at the girl kicking the Akatsuki out of her kitchen.
~With Zea and the Akatsuki~
After kicking them out of her kitchen, Zea stomped into the living-room and glared at all of them. She then turned to Pein. "You are not the leader of this house, so do not think about bossing me around. I'm the one stuck with paying the bills so don't break anymore of my things. Zetsu, stay the hell out of my garden, you are not a potted plant unless you want me to chop you up and put you in a pot. Tobi, touch ANY of the sweets in this place and I will show you what is worse than the Sharingan.-" Said person put the candy back in the bowl and sulked towards the couch."-Kakuzu, don't think of selling my things or I will make you lose all of your hearts and money. Kisame, leave the fish in the bathroom alone or I will turn you into sushi and feed you to him -cue paling shark-. Konan, leave my papers alone, I don't want roses and origami things in my house. No one goes into the kitchen, I don't care how starved you are. No one goes into my room, unless you want a fate worse than death. And NO ONE goes into the room marked 'PRIVATE'. Is that understood?" Zea asked after the very long and tiresome speech. Nine heads bobbed up and down in fear. "Good." Zea said and stalked off to take a shower.
The Akatsuki looked at each other then at Pein who shook his head fast and pointed at Kisame. "What? Why me?"
"Because I said so. Now go ask her what her name is." Pein said kicking the fish after the girl.
Kisame sulked down the hall but stopped when Zea came out of her room and locked the door. She walked to the bathroom, with Kisame following and stopped by the door, turning to him. "What do you want?" She asked calmly. Kisame stared, and stared some more, and stared again.
"What is your name?" He asked after five long minutes of just staring. Zea gave him a look that made the air turn cold and his insides freeze.
"That is none of your, or anyone else's business. Now leave before I turn you into sushi." Zea said and locked the door after she stepped into the bathroom. Kisame stood outside for about 0.3 seconds after she left him before running to the others, crying.
"Aww look, the fucking fish is crying." Hidan mocked. Pein and Kakuzu slapped him on the head before turning to Kisame.
"So, what is her name?" Pein asked after Kisame calmed down and just sat on the couch.
"She said that her name is none of our business." Kisame said and curled up on himself.
Pein ran a hand down his face and shook his head. "That helps us a lot." He muttered.
A/N: and that's it for the first chapter, if you would be so kind as to leave a review for what you think, I would be very gratefull.