Title: They Don't Call It "Truth Serum" For Nothing
Author: idunno-bro
Summary: Skwisgaar and Toki go to LA for a talk show, but end up fighting the whole time. Other stuff happens too, but I don't want to give it away.
Rating: T for slash and language.
Warning: I'm not so good at accents, but hey, at least I tried.
Characters: Toki Wartooth, Skwisgaar Skwigelf, and everyone else. Christina Slater is a minor OC and doesn't contribute in the story, other than being the talk show host. Kipper, Toki's cat, is also made up.
Disclaimer: I do not own Metalocalypse or Dethklok.
"Toki, what the fuck are you doing?"
"Oh, I ams on a diets! It ams calleds a 'salts waters cleanse'." Toki took a sip from his salt water and scrunched up his face in disgust. He still smiled afterward though. Nathan gave him a blank stare. Toki had been watching a lot of American talk-shows lately, and they've been getting to him.
"You know, you really don't need to diet. Dieting is for fat, desperate jack-offs who have nothing else better to do." Nathan lectured. The guitarist was pretty confused.
"But Nat'ens, this ones s'posed to cleans outs your bodies and make yous into a whole news healthy persons! This ams differents!" Toki replied. He almost sounded whiney, but he meant well.
"You're not listening. Dieting makes you look like an asshole." Toki nodded and looked down, thinking of what he was going to say next.
"So ifs I diets-"
"Just don't fucking diet!" Toki shut his mouth and took a small sip of the salt water. A Klokateer appeared soon after, informing the guys that Charles wanted everyone in the dining room for a meeting- apparently it was important.
xYx
"Thanks for not being late, guys. I know you're all busy with something, but this is important." The bored band stared at the manager, desperatly waiting for the subject of the meeting.
"If thisch isch dumb then I'm leaving right now," Murderface got up and attemped to leave, but the manager quickly stopped him, then continued.
"As dumb as you all, ah, think this might be, it may help the band get new fans."
"So whats? We has tons of fans alreadys." Skwisgaar scoffed, not letting the manager finish.
"Yes, right, ah... Where was I? Oh, yes. Chistina Slater wants to have Dethklok on her talk show next week and-" He was cut off by a very excited Toki.
"Christinas Slaters! Oh, wowee! She's the greatest!" The guys stared at him in disbelief.
"Wait, isn't that show for housewives and gay men?" Nathan asked. "Last time I checked, housewives and gay men don't like metal."
"Yeah, I refuse to go on 'dat dumb show. It's not metal." Pickles added. Charles gulped, thinking of what he would say next.
"Well, ah, it depends on your opinion of talk shows... Also, you guys don't need to worry about it because we only need two of you to go." Toki was waving his arm in the air excitedly.
"Can I goes!? Please!? I wants to meets her!" Charles nodded.
"Anyone else?" Silence.
"I schay Schwischgaar goesch with him! He can't leave Toki alone for 5 minutesch!" Murderface laughed at Skwisgaar, who was turning red.
"Heys, that ams one times and you saids you'd stops making funs of us abouts- I means, ja, sures." Charles nodded in approval.
"Good, we have the guitarists going on the show. Everyone will love you guys." Toki's smile got even bigger when he heard that.
"Reallys? Eveyones loves us?"
"Yes Toki. You're one of the guitarists in the biggest band in the world. Obviously, everyone's going to love you guys." Nathan put his two cents in, while Charles was waiting anxiously to continue.
"Yes, ah, you leave tomorrow for LA." Nathan stared at the three of them.
"LA?! That's the least metal place in America! Don't let that place get to you, guys." Skwisgaar shook his head.
"I won'ts be affecteds, I'ms nots too sures 'bouts Toki heres." He secretly pointed to Toki, who was mumbling about who he wanted to meet while he was in LA.
"Good, now you guys get some sleep, you've got a big week ahead of you." And just like that, they all left, some to their rooms, some to other places in Mordhaus.
xYx
The next morning, the guys were packing up for their trip. Skwisgaar packed three shirts, three pairs of pants, his toothbrush, his guitar, and a pack of condoms (just in case). Toki packed all the clothes in his closet, his guitar, his GameBoy, a picture of Kipper, his cat, and some candy. Skwisgaar wanted to go check on the younger guitarist to make sure he didn't need any help.
"Toki, that ams way too much stuffs!"
"Nos, nos, it ams fine!"
"Yous only goings to bes there fors a week!"
"It helps to bes prepared!"
"Why dos you needs a picture of yous cat?"
"It ams nice to know he ams still heres."
"You coulds just buys candy when yous there!"
"Wells... This ams candys froms home, it means mores!"
"You don't needs yous GameBoys, yous goings to LA!"
"Wells... uhh..."
Skwisgaar gave him a stern look, until he put everything back except for some of his clothes and his guitar. The young brunette closed his briefcase and smiled.
"Ams readys!" He announced. Skwisgaar smiled back.
"So ams I." They both got their briefcases and guitar cases and went outside of Mordhaus, where Charles and a few Klokateers were waiting outside of the MurderMobile.
"Are you guys sure you have everything?" The guitarists rolled their eyes and agreed as they climbed into the vehicle.
"Byes!"
"Ja, Byes!" They both waved to Ofdensen as they drove away.
A/N: Did you like it? Please leave reviews. I want to know what you think before I add more chapters. Thanks for reading!