She stared at the corpse at her feet, the tears silently slipping down her cheeks.
"I'm sorry but you won't be able to bury it… him," said Alistair, his face grim. "We'll have to—"
"I will see to it, my dear fellow," said Zevran. He patted the Templar on the shoulder and nodded.
"Yes… well then… I'll go walk the perimeter to make sure there aren't any more strays." So saying, Alistair turned, leaving the two elves alone.
Ehrin never moved. Her eyes never veering from the horrible abomination at her feet. The thing that used to be her friend.
Zevran slipped beside her, laying an arm across her shoulder. He felt her body stiffen at his touch, but she did not pull away. That was something at least, and he would take what he could get right now.
"I am here." He didn't know what to say, but he hoped those words were enough for this woman who held tight to her thoughts and feelings, rarely letting anyone know what was going on inside. This was the first time he'd ever seen her cry and it tore at his heart like nothing else had since… Best not to think about that. This was not the time. She needed him here and now, not dwelling on some long past mistake that could never be forgotten, or undone.
"I killed him."
The words jerked him back into the present, hauntingly echoing his own thoughts. "You did what you had to do. What he asked you to do."
"I shouldn't have let him touch the mirror. I should have stopped him. "
He didn't know what she was talking about. She'd never talked about the events that had led her to the Grey Wardens. Even Alistair didn't know anything other than that Duncan had saved her, but from whom or what, no one knew.
"I should have—" she continued, still staring at the dead ghoul at her feet.
"Guilt will not bring him back," he said, interrupting her. Hooking a hand under her chin he turned her face towards his. "It will not change anything except your view of the world, causing you to see everything through a cloud of darkness that will eat away at your soul."
She gazed into his eyes, seeing his care and concern, but knowing she deserved none of it. She wanted to give in, to let his words find purchase in her heart, but she couldn't. Instead she jerked her face away from his tender touch and turned her back on him once again. "That is all I deserve."
"No!" he demanded, grabbing her by the shoulder and whipping her around to face him one more time. "I will not see you walk the same path I have tread."
She looked at him in confusion, her own pain momentarily forgotten as she heard the agony in his voice.
Relief flooded through him as he watched her focus shift from within to without. He led her away from the corpse to sit beside a nearby stream, nodding to Sten as they passed, giving the Qunari the go ahead to remove the body.
"Tell me your story, and I shall tell you mine," he said, sitting her down on a fallen log.
And so she did. She told him about finding the ruins and the tainted mirror within. The tears fell freely down her cheeks as she spoke of searching for him, finding no evidence of his existence anywhere within the cave. She let him wrap his arms around her as she described the funeral of her closest childhood friend.
"How can I live with knowing that if I'd insisted we tell the Keeper before heading into the ruins, or if I'd pulled him away from the mirror, or if I'd searched longer, he might still be alive?" She looked up at him with pleading eyes. Hoping for answers.
"You can't." His words seemed to shatter her soul.
And then he told his story. He told her about Rinna. About her supposed betrayal. About watching as Taliesen killed her, turning a deaf ear on her pleas for mercy and her protests of innocence. And then about finding out she had been telling the truth, after all.
Ehrin was numb. Her own guilt seemed such a paltry thing compared to what he'd been living with for so long. "How did you go on?"
"I didn't." He took her hands is his, a painful smile on his lips as she looked up at him. "I wanted to die. I came here, to Ferelden, to die. And then you saved me. In more ways than you'll ever know, my dear Warden."
His words pierced her heart. She could do nothing but stare into his eyes as her mind raced.
He raised her hands to his lips and kissed them tenderly. "Now, it's my turn to save you."
She thought about all that had happened. If they hadn't found the mirror, she would not be a Grey Warden and this man beside her would most likely be dead. Was Tamlen's life worth this Assassin's? But she chided herself for that thought, knowing full well that had it not been the mirror, some other recklessness on Tamlen's part would have eventually caught up to him. That realization startled her, but she knew it was true. Tamlen would have gone his own way, with or without her.
A smile slowly spread across her face as she cupped Zevran's face in her hands and pulled him to her. Her lips brushed against his. Her voice full of love as she whispered, "You already have."