Summary: Brason. Jason had always knew that his soulmate was someone special, but never in his wildest dreams did he imagine his true love would come in the form of a brick.
Author's Note: Pure crack. Do not take this seriously ^^ Also, writing skills degrade the more you read. Beginning is okay, end is... bad.
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Fools in Love
Alyyang123
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Jason had always knew his soulmate was someone special. Perhaps it was because his Tattoo, the birthmark that one shared with their destined partner, was a perfectly straight scar that ran through his upper lip—Tattoos were rarely on the face or torso area, instead favoring the back and legs—or that he had never gone through the Yearning, an intense urge that every sixteen-year-old felt that would instantly attract them to their future spouse.
"Maybe you're just a late bloomer," Percy said when Jason had inquired about it, although his eyes were doubtful. "I mean, everybody has a soulmate."
"I'm sure he or she will find you sooner or later," Annabeth, who knew everyone and everything, tried to assure him. She fingered her Tattoo, a silver strand of hair that gleamed sharply within a sea of yellow, curling it around awkwardly.
"If you don't find anyone, we'll still be there for you," Leo said consolingly, patting him on the back before he disappeared, most likely in search for Calypso, the extremely beautiful girl Jason was still scratching his head on how his friend had gotten to date him.
Jason didn't mind that none of his friends believed that he would ever find his soulmate. Sometimes, people never did, or were so repulsed by what fate had decided for them that they simply found someone else. Sometimes soulmates died before they could meet. Sometimes, some soulmates weren't even human—it wasn't rare for people to find that they had been bound to an animal or plant, although it wasn't common either.
Jason had always knew that his soulmate was someone special, but never in his wildest dreams did he imagine his true love would come in the form of a brick.
Having your soulmate be smashed into your face was not a particularly unusual way of meeting, although it was usually expressed in a completely different context. Most people apologized to each other immediately afterwards the collision, blushed, realized they were soulmates, stammered quite a bit, before inviting each other out for dinner and exchanging phone numbers.
Jason had a concussion that lasted for two hours and a major headache that stayed half a day after. And then the Yearning started, and wasn't that a migraine by itself.
Apparently, a loose brick had came out of the old Capitol building down North Street, tumbling down a tree branch before unluckily falling on top of the nearest bystander. Namely, him. The result was not very pretty, although he was lucky that there had been no permanent brain damage in the very least.
He later consoled a seething Thalia who threatened to sue the City Hall with assurances that this must be fate, and no, leave the poor bastards alone, they already have enough on their plate.
He stared at the brick. The brick stared back.
Or at least, that would have been what it looked like if it hadn't been that the large round eyes Jason had drawn on it with bolded black Sharpie were facing the other direction completely.
"Um... my name is Jason Grace?" he said uncomfortably, hating how his voice rose up in pitch embarrassingly at the end of the sentence. "What's yours?"
The brick didn't answer.
"Do—do you want to hang out?" Jason said, absently noticing a perfectly straight scratch that extended from the lower right regions of the brick, matching the scar he had on the side of his mouth completely. "We could go to Jupiter Cafe, grab a coffee and talk..."
Silence again.
"You're making this really difficult for me," Jason said, feeling the edges of his temper fraying. "I mean, I know you're a brick and all, but the least you could do is look at me, right?"
He flipped the brick upside down, so that the eyes were lopsided but at least glancing at him.
"Yes, Jason darling," he mimed, molding his voice into a high falsetto. "I would simply love to hang out with you."
"That's better," Jason said, nodding satisfactorily and placing a hand under his chin, which he promptly decided he looked much cooler and manlier with. "I'm glad we're on the same page now."
He squinted and pretended that the cracks inside the mold formed a smile. "Yes, dearie."
"So, what if your soulmate isn't exactly a human being?" Jason asked Reyna after the disastrous first date, in which several people had made pointed comments about his possible loss of sanity before the police and a psychiatrist were involved. "Or a living thing, to be precise? Of course, this is purely theoretical. No resemblance to any living things or persons."
His ex-girlfriend looked up from flirting with her pegasus soulmate, Scipio, shooting him a side-eyed look. "I've never heard about anything like that. There's never been any case of a human having an inanimate object as a soulmate before. If something like that happens, usually that person needs to have their head checked."
"Um, well, ah—okay," Jason said, backing away. "I'm just going to away now. Of course, my question is purely theoretical, and has no relation to the reason I'm backing away."
"Mmm-hmm," Reyna said, rolling her eyes and showing what exactly she thought about that, before sneaking a kiss onto Scipio's forehead and fondly scratching his neck. "I believe you, totally. But seriously, though, I'm calling a shrink to take a look at what's going on. This is clearly very serious and needs to be treated immediately, preferably yesterday."
Jason ran.
The brick was still sitting on his yard from where he had left it after their date. He nervously grasped the tulip he had stolen from Mrs. Demeter's yard (not that she would notice) and presented the flower to it, fidgeting.
"I'm sorry for leaving you like that," Jason said, tucking the flower into the upper hole of the brick. "I was too busy running away from the police. But you know, we're soulmates and all that, so I'll try to love you unconditionally. Even if you're a brick."
"It's okay, Jakie-poo," he said in his falsetto voice, which was getting progressively higher every moment. "I forgive you. But you have to take me on a date tomorrow."
"Okay, I'm glad you forgive me, " he said, nodding. Pressing a light kiss on the top of the brick, he blushed.
In the light of the afternoon sun, the brick gleamed shiny and new. It was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen.
"Oh my god," someone said from behind him, and Jason looked to see Thalia standing at the doorway, parted black punk lipstick and long obsidian eyelashes. "It's worse than I thought. When I heard about this from Reyna, I didn't think it would be that bad."
"It's not what it looks like," Jason yelled, holding his arms up. "And Ms. Brick here has feelings, too!"
"Yeah," the brick said, its voice coming from his throat.
"He has a name for it," Thalia gaped, horrified. "And he's actually defending it!"
"Ms. Brick here is my soulmate, just like how Luke is yours!" Jason shouted, holding the brick up defensively. "See, we even have the same Tattoo!" He presented the straight line on the surface of the brick, almost shoving it on his elder sister's face.
Thalia mouthed a few wordless words before swaying dangerously, finally collapsing safely on the WELCOME mat.
Jason shrugged, before resuming his flirting session with the brick. He didn't care if the brick's personality wasn't real, or if the brick wasn't alive. They were soulmates in a tentative new love, and that was all that really mattered to him.
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Somewhere several meters away, the hospital intern named Piper Mclean who had worked at the hospital Jason Grace had been sent to just weeks before wiped absently at the Tattoo on the side of her lips, feeling the burning feeling that signified her significant other was in close proximity.
Just when would she find her soulmate?
In the room behind her, a narcissistic, arrogant patient named Dylan, who had once worked in the construction industry, smiled his signature smug grin at the mirror, admiring the greyish Tattoo that dotted his bicep. He also had a scar on the edge of his mouth from his youth, in which he had tripped on a rock.
But of course, that pretty young nurse who had helped him bandage his wound didn't need to know that, did she?
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