Her eyes told a story that mere words could never convey. The warm memories and affectionate moments drifted within their amber depths, wrestling with the rage and writhing hurt she felt. Her body wanted to lose control, to sob and to scream and to pound whatever was nearby. But her mind told her to keep control, stay logical, stay cool.
More than anything, she wanted answers.
It had been difficult to keep herself from melting into his arms as soon as she saw him. She had done it so many times before, the gesture was completely natural, completely expected. However, the tension between them stopped her. His eyes, once calming like the sea after a storm, seemed so achingly tumultuous now.
He shrugged to break the tension. "Should we find a spot to sit?"
She agreed, and they walked through the park towards a picnic table. They had been here many times, not just when they were dating, but before. They had both been here as children, they had both grown up here. The swing sets and the pathways and the protective, tall trees were all so familiar. It only seemed fitting that they would end in the very place that practically created them.
They sat down at a picnic table in the shade, side by side, with plenty of space in between them. The space was foreign, unwelcome, and foreboding. It was only a confirmation of the things that she already knew. Their relationship was slowly dying, it was suffering, and this was where it would end. The sunlight peeked through the trees and danced in his platinum blonde hair. She tried to memorize the picture, tried to hold onto something that she knew would never be hers again.
"It just isn't going to work," He said after several minutes of silence.
She laughed a little bit, refusing to acknowledge the words. "What do you mean? Why won't it work?"
The moments drug on. He didn't have an answer for her, because he knew that there is nothing he can say that will fix the mess he has started to make. There is nothing he can say that will make everything okay again. Nothing will turn the tides of time and bring them back to the moments when everything was peaceful, everything was right, everything was good.
Nothing he could say would help, it would only hurt.
"You're just… there are just… there are things that you do that, I think in the long run, would tear us apart," he struggled for the words to say. It was so difficult to explain, so hard to put these conflicting feelings into words. However, he knew that he owed her an explanation.
She chuckled again. "Things like what? Am I uptight, am I annoying, am I obnoxious, do I correct other people's grammar too often, am I too quiet, am I not charismatic enough? What is it?"
He hung his head. She knew that this was hard for him, which was why she had so much trouble understanding why he was so determined to go through with it. His eyes watered, his shoulders slumped, his expression was defeated. If everything within him told him that this was a mistake, then why go through with it?
She was determined to turn this around. She had to.
"Well, you are kinda uptight. I don't know if that's the best word for it, though. You're so competitive, and get so angry when you can't do something well the first time. It bothers you when you don't win."
She quickly owned up to that trait. It was something that had driven her to achieve great things in her life. It was something that pushed her to her limits, forced her to find out what she was really made of. While it also prevented her from trying new things, it wasn't something she would ever be ashamed of.
"Okay, so I'm uptight. I will admit to that one. I had no idea that that would be a dealbreaker, though." She argued. She held onto her composure well, her mind refusing to acknowledge the disaster before her very eyes.
He sighed, frustrated. He had so many things to say to her, so many quirks and complaints. There were so many things she did that bothered him, they were so easy to think of when he wasn't sitting right next to her. It was so easy to be angry with her when he was far away from her, but so difficult to deny the remains of his love when they were together.
She smiled and tilted her head to the side. "I know, I'm so cute! It makes it harder, doesn't it?"
He chuckled a little bit. The air seemed to get lighter at her off handed comment, even though she didn't truly mean it. She didn't mean a word that she said, didn't mean any of the jokes that she made. Making jokes was easier than facing reality, making people laugh was so much better than making them cry.
"It's just not going to work," he repeated, his reasons failing him in his time of need.
She smirked. "That's a fairly weak argument, you know. You don't have many points to support it. If you ask me, it sounds like you've just convinced yourself this is the best idea. You've talked yourself into it so many times, you don't even remember why you wanted it in the first place!"
He shook his head. He was determined, and he wouldn't back down.
A few more moments of silence passed. "Okay, so, I'm uptight. What else is there? Surely that's not the only reason."
He shook his head, avoiding eye contact with her. His elbows rested on his knees, his back hunched protectively over himself. There was no good way to breach the next topic, there was no good way to tell someone that the love they shared just wasn't as strong anymore.
"Our upbringings, our families… they're so different."
She sighed. She knew that this would be an issue, she knew that this would be a roadblock. "So, we'll compromise! I know it'll be hard, I know that there's years of damage to undo, but we can do it."
He shook his head. "What if we have kids? What would we do then? I want them to know their grandparents and spend time with them. Will they be loved?"
She exclaimed, "They will be loved! They'll be loved more than any kids in the bloody universe, because they'll be ours!"
He shook his head, "I just don't know, 'Mione. It might not work out that way."
She was getting frustrated. This wasn't how it was supposed to happen. She knew that he'd been having doubts, but she thought that she would be able to assuage all of those. She knew that things hadn't been perfect, and she knew that there were many more challenges in their future. But she couldn't just let them fall apart over this. She couldn't stop fighting for them, couldn't just let their life together die into nothing.
She told him she was in love with him. He was the only one.
"Is there anyone else?" She asked.
He looked straight into her eyes, his honesty and heartwrenching guilt showing through. "No. There's no one."
She looked away, satisfied with his answer. So it hadn't been some other witch stealing him away. It wasn't the classmates that he went to the pub with, it wasn't the girls he was always chatting with between classes. She was still the only one.
There was a small part of her withered soul that came alive at this realization.
"So, what now?" She asked, almost fearing the answer.
"I'd like to stay friends. Just because we've stopped dating doesn't mean that I've stopped caring about you. But, I understand that you'll need time."
She shrugged it off. The only thing keeping her sanity intact was her feigned indifference and her forced humor. "You'd be surprised. I'd rather have you in my life as a friend, then not at all."
He nodded. He stood up slowly, almost as if he was unsure of what to do. He glanced around, looking for some kind of sign, some kind of guidance. He looked down at her, and she thought for half a second that he would tell her the entire thing was a mistake. The look in his eyes was undeniable, it was full of love and yet simultaneously full of hurt and regret. She hoped that any second, he would pull her into his arms, kiss her, and tell her that he would never do that again.
But, that wasn't what happened.
He kissed her forehead, and held her close. She could feel his arms tremble, she could feel the finality of the moment. He pulled away from her, turned around, and started walking away. His last words to her were carried on the wind, just a faint whisper.
"I'm sorry."
In the middle of the park, surrounded by bustling people and a beautiful spring day, Hermione Granger burst into tears.