Author's note: Hi! (Or, more appropriately for this story setting, Hello! My name is SesshomaruLover23, and I would like to share with you the most amazing oneshot!) You guys totally haven't heard from me in quite a while.
Here's just a little Book of Mormon oneshot. Nothing big or special. I just thought I'd post SOMETHING considering I haven't in a very long time. I'm hoping to maybe post little oneshots from all of the musicals I like. No promises though. I only really wrote this considering I very recently had the chance to go see Book of Mormon, and of course I loved it. It was hilarious and I recommend going to see it for any musical lovers out there.
Anyway. Enjoy this little oneshot. Again, nothing special and I tried to keep character as much as possible. It's really the first time I've written anything for Book of Mormon. Please don't bash it. And I know the title sucks. I'm not great with titles. Haha.
Disclaimer: I do not own Book of Mormon or any of its characters (or that little lyrics reference I made at the beginning of this note). It all belongs to Trey Parker and Matt Stone.
~SesshomaruLover23
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Arnold Cunningham walked through the Ugandan village that he and Kevin Price had been sent to so they could complete their two-year mission that was required of all young Mormon men. He carried two books in his hands—one was the Mormon Bible, the other a small photo album. He looked around at all of the Africans walking around him. Some were tending to their animals, others were standing around talking. Many of them waved to him as he walked by them. Everyone was doing something and was with someone. And Arnold was so alone…
Arnold sighed softly, thinking of how Kevin had left him all alone to complete his mission on his own. Kevin apparently couldn't handle the stress of Uganda anymore—not after witnessing a villager get killed by the General. Kevin just packed up and left, essentially telling Arnold to hit the road after he offered to go with him. It still hurt to think that the only thing that even resembled a friend to him had abandoned him too.
Shortly afterward, Arnold realized that he needed to take control of trying to convert the Ugandans. He needed to man up and try to change things on his own—for the first time in his life. And yet, he'd never actually read the Book of Mormon that he was trying to persuade the Ugandans to believe in. The main reason he even got them to listen to him was because of… What was her name again? He could never remember it… Neosporin?
And then when he had persuaded the Ugandans to listen to him, he made up a bunch of stories based on both science fiction and the few things about the Mormon Bible that he did know. For some reason, these really interested the Ugandans, and so far he'd convinced many of them to openly accept the Mormon faith—even if it was all a lie.
The other Mormons in his faction were so proud of him for nearly converting so many Ugandans after they'd had such rotten luck as a whole. But they had no idea that the doctrines he was preaching were all fake. He didn't have the heart to tell them. But hey, if it was helping the Ugandans, then… It had to be ok, right?
He sighed once more, sitting on the ground under a tree on the edge of the village. He set the Book of Mormon onto the ground next to him and held the photo album in his hands. He slowly flipped through the pages. He looked at pictures of his family, his life back home in Utah… He had been incredibly lonely back in Utah, too, but at least there he had his own bed to go home to and his parents to talk to (no matter how much his father looked down on him).
He frowned when he got to some of the pictures of him and Kevin. He had made Kevin take plenty of pictures with him after they'd found out that they had been paired together for their mission. There was one silly picture where Arnold was wearing a Lion King shirt and a huge smile on his face while he held his thumbs up, and Kevin looked at him like he was crazy… Oh, those were the good days. Back when Kevin hadn't abandoned him. Back when they were naïve about the horrors of Uganda. Back when they were somewhat friends.
He continued to flip through the pages of pictures, loosening his tie and unbuttoning the top few buttons of his shirt, the heat of the Ugandan climate becoming a little too much for him at the moment. After a few more minutes, he closed the photo album and leaned back against the tree, closing his eyes and enjoying the shade from the tree. He began to doze off as people usually do when it's very warm.
"Elder Cunningham?" He heard a female voice as something touched his shoulder. He visibly jumped in surprise, squealing softly before trying to cover his squeal up with a cough. He looked up and saw that girl who's name he always forgot but he totally had a huge crush on.
"Hi Nightlight." He greeted with a smile.
"Nabulungi." She corrected him with a short giggle. Arnold giggled obnoxiously in response, nervous by her presence. "May I ask you something?" Nabulungi asked after a few seconds.
"Sure. Anything." Arnold replied, pushing his glasses up further on his nose as Nabulungi knelt in front of him. She was wearing a yellow summer dress that had sunflower patterns on it. It was ripped and tattered in some places, but was very nice accented against her creamy cocoa-colored skin.
"Could you tell me more stories from the Book of Mormon?" She requested. Arnold felt his face heat up with a blush.
"Sure, let's go gather the others and I'll tell you guys more stories." He replied, shifting so he could move to stand up. Nabulungi put her hand on his arm, surprising him.
"I meant just me, not the whole village." She told him.
"But… I… Um… I'm supposed to… You know, teach everyone… I… Um…" Arnold stumbled over his words. He was so nervous to be alone with her. He had the hugest crush on Oven-mitt, but he was too nervous to ever admit it to her.
"Please, Elder Cunningham? I want to expand my knowledge of the Mormon faith to accept Jesus into my heart so I can more readily enter the church." Nabulungi stated. Arnold began to uncontrollably giggle again before quickly picking up the Book of Mormon that sat on the ground next to him and flipping to a random section.
"What do you want to know?" He asked.
"What happened after Joseph Smith was told by God that fucking the magical frog would get rid of his AIDs?" Nabulungi asked, making Arnold giggle uncontrollably again. He totally couldn't believe he had stretched things so much that the Ugandans believed such a silly thing.
"Well. Um. The Great Wizard Moroni came to him. He, um… Came from the Starship Enterprise. And he told Joseph Smith to take the golden plates and take his followers to Salt Lake City." Arnold answered. Nabulungi looked completely interested in everything he had to say. It was like she was soaking the information up like a sponge.
"What happened on their journey?" She questioned curiously.
"Well, they came across Brigham Young. He became Joseph's right-hand-man and the other main figure of the Mormon faith." Arnold told her. Nabulungi looked at him confusedly for a split second. "Brigham Young was… Um… Well, he tried to cut off his daughter's clit—oris…" Arnold paused to giggle at the word before he continued. "And God punished him by turning Brigham's face into one. And… Joseph Smith… He, um… He saved Brigham Young by… Um… Rubbing his frog on Brigham Young's face. And Brigham was cured. He was so grateful to Joseph Smith that he joined them on their journey." Arnold made up, lying so he could keep her interest held.
"Wow…" Nabulungi said softly to herself. "Ok, I have another question, Elder Cunningham." She added in a louder voice.
"What is it?" Arnold asked, closing the book in his hand.
"What is Sal Tlay Ka Siti like?" Nabulungi questioned.
"Well. It's really nice there. Much better than this place, that's for sure…" Arnold answered, his latter sentence holding a bit of bitterness.
"Do you think we will ever get to go there? My people and I, I mean." Nabulungi asked quietly.
"I… I think it's possible." Arnold told her, even though he didn't believe it. He didn't want to hurt her feelings.
"You know, my mother always told me of a place of paradise, always told me I would get there some day. Some place that is clean and friendly and the complete opposite of Uganda." Nabulungi told him, tugging at the hem of her dress a little nervously. "I always thought she had made it up until you and Elder Price came here and told us about Sal Tlay Ka Siti." She added, looking up at Arnold. Arnold's breath caught in his throat a little bit. He didn't realize what an influence he and Kevin had had on Nabulungi and her beliefs and hopes and dreams.
"Nicorette C-Q, I'm sure you'll get to go to Salt Lake City some day." He told her in reassurance to make her feel a little better.
"Nabulungi." She corrected him again with a soft giggle.
"Hey, I have some pictures of Salt Lake City here. Would you like to look at them?" Arnold remembered his photo album and held it up. Nabulungi nodded enthusiastically, moving to sit right next to him, nearly pressing against him as he opened the album. He tried to remain calm even though he was mentally freaking out that a girl was so close to him. Back in the US, a girl wouldn't ever sit this close to him… for any reason at all.
"What is this?" Nabulungi asked, pointing to one of the pictures.
"That's the Missionary Training Center in Provo, Utah. Or, as I like to call it, Mission Control Center. That's where I trained for a long time before I was sent here to, you know, spread the word of the Mormon Church." Arnold answered. Nabulungi nodded in understanding, reaching out and turning the page before Arnold could. Her hand brushed against his as she turned the page, which made his face heat up again in nervousness. He gulped, feeling a lump forming in his throat.
"That looks pretty." Nabulungi pointed out another picture.
"That's the Mormon Church in Salt Lake City. It's very pretty." Arnold agreed. After quite a few pictures, they got to the ones after he and Kevin had been paired together.
"What is this place?" Nabulungi asked curiously, pointing to yet another picture.
"That's the airport in Salt Lake City." Arnold told her.
"What is an airport?" She questioned in confusion.
"Well, it's… Um… Planes go there. And planes are basically huge buses that fly through the sky." Arnold replied, trying to make it sound as simple as possible.
"Elder Cunningham…" Nabulungi began.
"Yes, Necrophilia?" Arnold replied.
"It's Nabulungi, silly." She corrected again. "I just want to thank you for coming to my village and helping us. I've never seen everyone so happy. And I've never been happier myself. All my life, everything has been about darkness and despair. And yet now you give me hope for a better life. And I am grateful." She explained, looking up into his eyes.
"I… Um… I'm glad I made you feel that way." Arnold replied, unable to look away from her pretty brown eyes. They were so dark that they almost seemed black. Before either of them knew what was happening, they closed the small gap between them and kissed each other. The kiss lasted for a few long seconds and was soft and sweet. Suddenly, Arnold realized what was going on and quickly pulled away.
"What is wrong?" Nabulungi asked confusedly.
"Holy cow, I just… You just… We just kissed! Your dad's gonna give me his AIDs now! I don't want to be sodomized and given a deadly disease!" Arnold stated in a panic. Nabulungi laughed softly at him and put her hand on his arm, immediately calming him down.
"My father doesn't have to know." She told him. Arnold's face was completely red in embarrassment. It was so incredibly adorable to her.
"Are… Are you serious?" He asked. Nabulungi smiled.
"Yes, I am. Elder Cunningham, for such a smart man when it comes to your religion, you sure are a silly one when it comes to people." She stated. Arnold giggled uncontrollably at her statement. After he'd calmed down, he sighed.
"Holy cow." He said to himself. Nabulungi smiled at him again.
"I am going to have some lunch. I'll see you later." She said before standing up and beginning to walk away.
"Bye Nabulungi." Arnold replied. Both he and Nabulungi were surprised… That was the first time he'd ever called her by her name correctly. Nabulungi just smiled once more at him before continuing to walk away. Arnold just sat there in shock. Wow, he'd just had his first kiss. His first kiss. And he'd had it with a girl he had a huge crush on. A special girl who made his heart flutter. Oh wow, he felt like he was on air.
He continued to sit there in a daze for a few minutes before managing to stand up and walk back toward the mission headquarters on the other side of the village. He definitely needed something to eat and then a nap to clear his head of the extreme excitement he was feeling.