Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters, even though I would love to own Squall and all the other cuties! ::Drool:: Mild swearing, and inspired from other fics I have read. Constructive Criticism is welcomed as long as it is not "You Suck" Enjoy
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Chaotic Day in the Life of SeeD
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[Balamb Garden]
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Rinoa: Squall! Don't you just love my new outfit? *Rinoa twirls in her see-through black lace mini skirt and tank top (SORRY RINOA FANS! I LOVE HER TOO! THIS IS JUST A STORY!)*
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Squall gave one of those impressive whatevers. br
Rinoa: SQUALL JUST LOOK AT ME!br
Squall kicked off of the plaster wall in his dorm room, and glanced at Rinoabr
Squall: …WHATEVER!br
Rinoa: If you love me you would talk to mebr
Squall: Beautiful *rolls his eyes* what else do you want me to say?br
Rinoa lavishes in the false compliment: How much you would live in misery and angst without mebr
Squall: I would rather die *then sticks his finger in his throat and walks over to his bed to sit down* then live another *he smacks his chest* moment of my eternal damnation without your radiant beauty to love a pathetic man like me.br
Rinoa: OH! Squall I love you too! *She giggles happily as she checks herself out in the mirror*br
Squall: …whatever *Thinks: What an egotistical bitch, the Rinoa I fell in-love with in Final Fantasy 8 was modest and…Damnit! It's not real, it's not real!* [Leaves]br
Rinoa: Oh Squally-poo do you think I look better naked? *She spoke not realizing he left then continued* Oh I think I looked better naked too! I love you Squall, you always say the right things.br
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[Cafeteria with Quistis, Selphie, Irvine, Zell, and the Seifer Posse]
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[Enters Squall]br
Zell: No Sephie baby, I think you have a much better body than Jennifer Lopez! (Note: I LOVE J-LO THIS IS JUST A STORY!) *Zell glances at a pinup of J-lo in a comic lust*br
Selphie: ZELL! *Pouts that famous pout well not really* I thought you loved…Oh hey Squall why so down?br
Squall takes a seat next to Fujin: Rinoa is caught up in her ego again, Damn Squaresoft (I LOVE YOU SQUARESOFT I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU!…But I love Squall more!…I STILL LOVE YOU!) Made Rinoa "realize" her "Inner" beauty UGH!br
Everyone: We always thought she was so nice, but even Happy (a.k.a. Angelo) doesn't even want to be near her.br
Happy a.k.a. Angelo: WOOF BARK BARK *Snarl* [Translation: She tried to hump me, that disgusting pervert. I'm only her dog in the game! Now she thinks I'm her love, what the hell? I think her famous-ness got to that peanut of a brain of hers. God, what I wouldn't give to be a stuffed animal right now. I mean honestly, it's just wrong coming onto a dog…unless you're a dog. Well even my bitch agrees with me!]br
Happy's Bitch: Bark BARK Woof woof arf barkie woof arf woo woo wooof howl woof bark bark bark arf arf arf wobarf! *drool, nodd* [Translation: Yup]br
Irvine: Where did you come from?!!br
Author: I made the Bitch poof in, got a problem with that?br
Irvine: Who the hell are you?br
Author: The evil force tampering with your life! HAHAH!br
Quistis: Who is Irvine talking to?br
Rajin: His voices, ya know?br
Fujin: NEGATIVE! *kicks Rajin in the shin* Look the creator's of Squaresoft got me into my character! I hate this, Blow this $hit, lets go !@$% Rajin.br
Rajin: I know me too, ya…ARGH! *Throws Fujin over his shoulder and leaves the café* br
Seifer: Hey Quisty, sweetie, baby poo, honey pie, maggot bear?br
Quistis: What Snot-Filled shoe, Seify, horse poopy wench?br
Everyone but Quistis and Seifer: O .. o;;;br
Seifer: Maybe you and I can go do some training?br
Quistis: I'm not in the mood *before Seifer can object Quistis casts silence, Siren's Animation is shown*br
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[Water floods the café and everything fades out but Siren on a rock, and her wings are about to open…]br
Siren: @#$% this! *waves her hand and silence is cast upon Seifer and just walks out of the room*br
Squall: What the hell? *Looks down at his leather boots being ruined by the water*br
Selphie sits on Zell's lap to avoid the waterbr
Quistis: Is it me or has our GF's gotten lazy?br
Author: THEY AREN'T YOUR GF'S ANY MORE IT WAS ALL A GAME! THE ACTORS/ACTRESSES/MONSTERS/CUTIE THINGS/ POINTY THINGS HAVE FEELINGS YA KNOW!br
Quistis suddenly bashes her head into the table and dies, she fades from the room.br
Seifer: MAGGOT BEAR!br
Zell: #$%@!br
Selphie: !&%#br
Squall: !#%&ing !$%& was @#$^ @#$^&#$ #%@!!$%br
Happy: #!$%!#^&%^&$#@^$ ya #$%$&^@!@^@%^ huh #@%$^&%^&@$^! My $@#%$#^^ !%$#@!% &&$!!%^ $#^#%#$ ?!!!!!br
Happy's Bitch: ?!br
[Rinoa Enters]br
Rinoa: @#$%^@#$%#%^%@&!% %#^@^$^ $^^%*&#&(*^ !%!$#%!#% ^$@^^ #%^@!!@$#% #^%^$& @#$%!$%^% $^%%% $^% @$!!@$&%*!! #$%#%&^&$!!%$#% ! $^@!$#%#!%#& @$#! *&^&^&%^$%^#$%@%$(^&^@#$%%^( %$#^@%#@ ^^%* ^$^@ *$^%$%^$^%&&%&%%%^%&%^ #$@$#!@$!#@(&^%^$^%$^%##!!^*&&*~&*^*( ^%&$^#$%#%@!$#%^^$***%^$$#@ @%^%&*^%^ *%^% &^%^%* %^%&% ^%*&^* %^^^%^%^! MY HAIR! [leaves]br
Seifer: Squall are you gonna ditch whore girl?br
Squall: …Yeah, you can have her back again. I beginning to think I was pussy whipped. Ugh. RINOA WE'RE THROUGHbr
Rinoa yells from the infirmary: SCREW YOU!br
Squall: SORRY I DON'T LIKE THE TAINTED!br
Seifer runs towards the infimary: Thanks Squall, I appreciate it. RIIIINOOOOOOAAAAAA I'M COMINNNNNNG BAAAAABBBBBBYYYYYYY POOOOO!br
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[Later that day Back in Squall's Dorm]br
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Author: Excellent it's all falling into playbr
Squall looks around in shock: What the hellbr
Author: …..br
[Enters Rinoa]br
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Rinoa: Look at these nice pants! *Holds up mutilated MC Hammer pants with plaid and pokka-dots and every thing that makes a person go mad* I love them!br
Squall: WHAT THE @#$@ what the @#$@ is your #$%#ing problem! *Casts Fira*br
Rinoa looks up dejectedly: NOOOOO….wait the pants are okay! Hahah you pansy!br
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[Fades into a Nifty Battle Thingy]
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Squall: DIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEE….br
Rinoa stops to fix her make-upbr
Squall casts firaga on her make-up kit, and Rinoa dies.br
Rinoa as she's fading: Nooo I didn't finish my mascara, I'll get you Leonhart!br
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[End Battle: You've gained 0 exp and 2,000,000,000,000,000 Gil.]br
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Squall: That's where all my money I gave her for potions went.br
[Seifer Enters]br
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Seifer: Hey Squall…OH COOL PANTS! They yours?…Anyways have you seen Rinoa?br
Squall: No…Haven't seen her all day…br
Seifer: Oh…damn…we were…nevermind I think I might be pregnantbr
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[Fades into a Nifty Battle Thingy again, Seifer is confused as hell]br
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Seifer: What the…br
Squall: #@$#$!!! *Stabs Seifer*br
Seifer: MY baaaaabyyyyyy *dies*br
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[End Battle: Your Party as Gained .00005 Exp and 0 Gil]br
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[Enters Irvine]br
Squall: What the @#$! This is the last dorm in the wing, how the @#$@ are people just wandering in here?
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[Fades into the Nifty Battle Thingy]
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Squall: $#@!%!!!@$%!#$^ ^%&@^@%^#% IRVINE @#$#!%^^%#!%br
Irvine: Huh?br
Squall stabs Irvine, and he diesbr
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[Battle Ends: Your Party has Gained 20 Exp and a Plastic Tube painted black.]
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[Selphie and Zell Enters]br
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Selphie: Dude, Squall what you're doing is hazardous to your health!br
Zell: Yeah, man, you shouldn't be killing people. Boo-YA! *Zell punches the air*br
Squall: WHAT THE $#@@! Is wrong with you people?!br
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[Fades into yet again another boooooring battle]
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Selphie and Zell look around the room in confusion, their ATB's going, and their Battle Menu pop upbr
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They look at eachother: Huh?br
Author: MWAHAHAA it's all falling into play!br
Everyone: What the !@$#!@#br
Author steps on Zell and Selphiebr
Squall: #@$#!br
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[Battle Ends: Your Party has Gained 60 Exp and a box of Trojan Condoms]
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Squall: @$%!br
Squall's dorm door slams shut and locks, deadbolts he's never even seen before shows up and he's trapped in his room.br
Squall: @$#!br
A bright light shines down from no where, a feminine figure appearing, Squall shield's his eyes from the Author's Radiant light.br
Author: Squaaaallllll…Squaalllllll…I've been waiting for you Squall.br
Squall: Who the hell are you? Hey… I can swear! SHIT DAMN FUCK BITCH HELL ASS…w00t! ^ .. ^br
Author jumps on Squall and tries to kiss him: I LOVE YOU SQUALLY BABY!br
Squall: @#$@!…oh yeah…what the FUCK!? *pulls out gunblade from no where and stabs the author*br
Author Dies: X .. Xbr
Squall leaves his room confused as hell as to what just happened.br