Chapter 2 ~ Family

1. Facebook

Mercedes and Kurt are now sisters.

Tina and Mercedes are now sisters.

"Isn't the implication that you are all related genetically impossible, considering that Kurt's white, Tina's Asian, and Mercedes is black? Not to mention that Kurt is actually male—"

"Shut up, Rachel and join the sistahood."

Rachel and Mercedes are now sisters.

2. Power-Rangers

Finn doesn't know if Puck remembers, but the boy's claim that they met when Puck bailed him out of a fight against three middle-schoolers at age three is totally BS. They met on a play-date arranged by their respective babysitters—old women who happened to be gossip-buddies. Puck stole his red Power Ranger and Finn started crying until Puck called him a pussy and gave it back.

3. Dark

Kurt realizes that despite him and Finn being technical brothers now, he still calls Mercedes when he has nightmares in the middle of the night. And despite the fact that he's no longer in McKinley, he's the one she goes to when it's two A.M. and she has a great idea for a mash-up.

4. Chef

When Kurt realizes Finn has no idea what filet is, he's horrified. When Finn admits he's never eaten anything even mildly gourmet, Kurt is amazed. When his half-brother eventually confesses that he's been surviving on sandwiches for the past two years, Kurt buckles down and makes him a five-course, home-cooked meal. With filet.

5. Competition

Quinn and Santana are both only children, which explains why they never realize that they treat each other almost like sisters. Quinn is the straight-A, perfect good-girl, (more or less), and Santana is the sassy younger sister who's always trying to take Quinn's place.

6. Brothers

Mike doesn't care what the football team says, he's not going to sit around and let one of his bros get harassed, even when it means he has to team up with his girlfriend's ex.

7. VideoGames

Rachel rolls her eyes when Puck claims that video games is to boys what sleepovers are to girls—valuable bonding time. Whatever, Puck scoffs silently, she's never blasted zombies with him for seven hours straight, and its obvious that Artie's definitely his man, while Rachel is—he doesn't finish that thought.

8. Father

Will Schuester doesn't realize it, but when he makes the glee kids sign the "no drinking contract," he gains Santana's respect.

Santana doesn't realize it, but when she signs the contract, she's done with Will what she's never done with any adult—not even her own parents. She's decided to trust him to take care of her—to come pick her up if she ever gets drunk. She wonders why her own dad's never offered to do anything like this.

9. Liar

Quinn knows that Brittany is lying when she says that the heavily pregnant Cheerio looks pretty, but she hugs the other blond anyway.

10. Parents

Mercedes never mentions it, but ever since the Shelby incident she's made it a point to hug her mom every day when she goes home. She'd probably laugh herself sick if she knew Matt had developed the same habit. When their mothers meet together for their weekly gossip-fest, they bring the same news and agree that glee club must be a good influence.

11. CPR

After Puck sees his favorite actor pull the "I'm dying so breathe air into me" trick—resulting in a hot & heavy make-out session with one of his favorite actresses. (So Puck's a movie buff. Even badasses need to get ideas somewhere.) He almost pulls the trick on Brittany—but something about the blond's panicked eyes reminds him of his little sister and he stops his fake-choking.

12. Identical

Puck's pretty sure he and Santana are actually identical twins who happened to get separated from birth. (He also thought she was his clone—and then he realized that she was a girl and no scientist can clone Puck's DNA and produce anything less than a total stud.) Whatever—they're still so alike it's creepy. Puck swears that sometimes he looks at the Latina and can totally read her mind.

And they've totally got each others' backs. The last time someone messed with Santana and she wasn't able to handle it, Puck beat up the creep so bad he transferred. And the last time some chick tried to go all "Must Kill John Tucker" on Puck, Santana totally let it slip that she was the one who scrawled the offensive comments about the Cheerios on the bathroom walls. (After Sue Sylvester found out, that girl was as good as gone.)

13. Close

"I'm so—"

"—bored."

"Where is—"

"—everyone?"

"Stop—"

"—doing that."

Puck stares at Mike and Matt in impressed disgust. "You guys are fuckin' pansies, you know that? Finishing each others sentences like you're freaking engaged or some shit."

Mike rolls his eyes, and Matt lets loose one of his rare deadpan grins. "You're just jealous, Puckerman."

14. Movie

During their first family movie night, the Hummel-Hudson family can't decide what to watch. Kurt, of course, wants something Broadway, but that reminds Finn too much of Rachel. Carol suggests an action thriller, but Kurt shudders and she quickly takes back the suggestion. Burt recommends a romantic comedy, much to Kurt and Carol's amusement, but again Finn opts out. Finally, they decide to do a Harry Potter marathon. By the time the third movie is half over, Kurt is asleep, Finn's dead to the world, and the newlyweds are struggling to keep their eyes open.

15. Movie(part2)

They all end of sprawled on the couch, limbs entangled and hands on various awkward places. Luckily, Kurt is the first to wake up, and he untangles himself without stirring anyone else before going to grab a camera. Burt, who rouses next, is not so lucky. His attempt to untangle himself from his new wife's embrace results in both of them tumbling to the floor. Finn wakes up to find his mom and new dad in a compromising position and gives a very unmanly shriek of horror.

16. Snapshot

Kurt still laughs when he looks at his shot. Burt looks like he's pinning a very tousled Carol to the floor, and Finn's eyes are as big as his mouth as he emits his shriek of horror. A bowl of half-eaten popcorn is spilled on the floor, the stack of Harry Potter is still neatly piled by Finn's left arm, and—Kurt frowns. Is that his sweater that Finn's currently sitting on?

17. Home

While there's no way to call the glee club one big happy family—unless you're delusional, insane, or deaf and blind—all the members of New Directions agree that the club is definitely the closest they have to a second home.