Shadowfax and Gandalf

Pippin

"…. And now I have to take him to Minith Tirith," Gandalf finished as they burst out into the sunlight.

"Who are you talking to?" Pippin asked; he was starting to get a little creeped out by the way Gandalf had started going on about nothing a few minutes ago.

"Shadowfax; who else would I be talking to?"

"Um… me?"

Gandalf snorted, which sounded very... horse-like. Shadowfax snorted back and Gandalf gasped. "How dare you!"

"I came all this way back from the dead and have to put up with all this nonsense! Maybe I should have put Legolas in charge! Or better yet, Glorfindel! Of course I know he didn't come, but still. Oh, really!? So you're going there?! Oh-ho, that is a big mistake!"

Gandalf

Gandalf was insulted by what Shadowfax had just said. How dare he! "I came all this way form the dead, and have to put up with all this nonsense! Maybe I should have put Legolas in charge! Or better yet, Glorfindel!"

"Glorfindel was never part of the fellowship, he stayed in Rivendell," Shadowfax said. "So, obviously he didn't come."

"Of course I know he didn't come, but still."

"Besides that, I don't think you ever really died," Shadowfax said. "I think you hid under the cliff with the Balrog, and had a little tea party."

"Oh, really!? So you're going there?! Oh-ho, that is a big mistake! For your information, that was a very hard Balrog to kill. And I did come back to life!"

"Prove it then."

"I can't prove it!" Gandalf exclaimed. "Ask the Valar if you want to know so badly."

"The Valar refused to speak to me," Shadowfax said.

"Ha! I can see why! You're such an argumentative and sarcastic horse!"

"Me? Sarcastic? Nooo. I still think you faked it."

"Why would I fake my own death?!" Gandalf exclaimed.

"I don't know, beats me."

"I'm going to beat you!"

"Tst, I would like to see you try."

"Why did I ever chose you?!" Gandalf shouted in frustration.

"Because I'm the king of horses."

"Ha! Asfaloth is better than you!"

"Shut up."

"Ha! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! You can….um, go do, um… something!"

"That's the best you have!" Shadowfax said. "I have better! You never killed the Balrog!"

"I did too!" Gandalf shrieked, scaring off any Nazgul within a hundred miles. "I slew him with my sword, and everyone was sad!"

"Just the hobbits."

"EVERYONE!"

"Hobbits!"

"EVERYONE! EVERYONE WAS SAD WHEN I DIED!"

"Fine, Aragorn was too."

"And Gimli, and Boromir, and Legolas!"

"Ha! That's what they want you to think!"

"Who're they?"

"The orcs."

Pippin

Gandalf started shouting, and Pippin clamped his hands over his ears. Who was he yelling at again? The horse? Pippin had liked the horse, it had seemed really nice. Why was Gandalf shouting at it? Well, he must still be grumpy from being dead, Pippin figured. He needed to calm down, so he decided to sing.

"I saw the light…fade from the sky; on the winds I heard a sigh. As the snowflakes cover my fallen brothers, I will say this last goodbye."

"What in the name of the Valar are you singing?!" Gandalf exclaimed.

"A song," Pippin replied.

"Well, I don't like it!"

"Why not?"

"It's too sad!"

"That's the point," Pippin said. "Can I sit behind you?"

"Why?!"

"You keep getting spit all over me when you yell."

Gandalf

"Ha! Did you hear that?!" Shadowfax exclaimed. "You're getting spit on the poor hobbit!"

"And whose fault is that?"

"Yours."

"Yeah, well, you're the one who started all this, so actually, it's your fault."

Shadowfax snorted. "Yeah, whatever."

"Oh, don't you snort at me!" Gandalf exclaimed.

"I can snort at you all I want," Shadowfax said. "Snort, snort, snort. HA! Take that, wizard that was not killed by a Balrog!"

"I WAS TOO!" Gandalf screamed.

"Prove it!"

"I don't have to do any such thing."

"Then I don't believe you."

"Like I care," Gandalf said.

"Good. Because I'm the one who told the Balrog you were coming."

Gandalf gasped. "How could you?"

"Well, it's fairly simple actually. I just told him you where headed to Gondolin."

"I never went there. That's where Glorfindel slew the Balrog, and was later sent to Imladris."

"Oops," Shadowfax said. "I was wondering what the big deal was about that elf."

"I. Am. Going. To. Kill. You." Gandalf said.

"Pff, then you wouldn't have a horse to ride."

Pippin

Pippin's eyes widened as he heard Gandalf threaten to kill Shadowfax. "It wasn't that bad," he said. "I just wanted to see it again!"

"What are you Tolkien about?" Gandalf asked Pip.

"Who's Tolkien?" Pip asked.

"Uh….never mind that."

"Can I sing now?" Pippin asked.

"Ugh, fine."

"Thank you!" Pip exclaimed, then, "Home is behind…the wo-o-orld ahead…and there are many paths to tread, through –"

"What is up with the sad songs?!" Gandalf yelled.

"I'm sad. I miss the Shire, and mushrooms."

"Yeah, well, well… something!"

"Maybe I'll turn evil," Pip said. "That is so much more fun."

Gandalf

Gandalf rolled his eyes, Pippin turn evil? Pff, whatever!

"You should pay more attention to him," Shadowfax said.

"He's just a little hobbit," Gandalf retorted. "As if he could do anything."

"You put Frodo in charge of the ring."

"How would you know?!"

"I…. uh, never mind how I know. I just do."

"Tell me."

"No."

"Tell me!"

"Next week."

"Fine."

There was silence for about ten minutes; Pippin took a nap during that time. Gandalf tried to, but then this happened –

"AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

Gandalf jerked up. "What is it!?"

"Ha! Tricked you!" Shadowfax exclaimed. "Oh! You should have seen your face, it was the best!"

"You can't see my face, I'm behind you!"

"Saruman just texted me a picture," Shadowfax said. "Would you like to see?"

"No! You know what I say about texting and riding!"

"Tst, nothing is going to happen."

Shadowfax ran into a tree. And that was why they were five minutes and thirty-seven seconds late.

Pippin

Pippin was sulking. He missed the mushrooms, and Gandalf kept ignoring him, and criticizing his songs. He deserved better, he…. Pippin started grinning, evilly as an idea came to him. Why couldn't he turn evil? What was stopping him? And then he knew…he knew what he was born to be!

Pip the Dark Lord of All!

If you liked this story, check out Pip the Dark Lord's story How Pippin Took Over The World. It inspired the ending of this story. :)

I hope you enjoyed this! Please review!