Acceptance and forgiveness
By leliana McKay
Another story I wrote a long time ago, beta-read by LidaRose (Thanks a lot!)
Summary: Laura is taking the loss of the Presidency pretty hard and it's all Bill's fault. A/R pairing. Takes place right after Laura lost the election,
Spoilers: Season two, LDYB part 2
The day had gone by rather quickly. Gaius Baltar's swearing in, the jump to New Caprica, the explosion destroying Cloud Nine and several other ships; Laura was still in shock. She had been kicked out of Colonial One by Baltar and was now homeless. Not even having time to mourn the loss of the presidency, she was left to wander alone in the corridors of the Galactica, her temporary refuge.
After walking for hours with no particular destination, she found herself in front of the Admiral's quarters. She hesitated, should she go inside? 'He is probably busy', she thought. She stood there, closed her eyes, she felt tears coming but quickly stopped herself and stepped through the hatch.
When she entered she smiled at the familiar surroundings. Bill, who was sitting behind his desk writing a report looked up at her, "Laura", he welcomed her. "Bill" she answered curtly. Bill noticed the uneasiness in her voice. Her posture was even awkward, she shifted her body to her right leg while staring into space."Is everything all right?" he asked putting his pen down.
Of course, she wasn't all right, he knew that, but what else was he supposed to say. How was he supposed to comfort her? She looked like a lost woman.This wariness and fear in her eyes. She avoided his glance several times before settling her gaze on his desk. Tears were welling up in her eyes, she quickly walked to his couch, sat there and waited. She had her hands on her knees, her head down. She looked like a total wreck. Bill stood up and came in front of her, trying to find what to say.
She sniffed, tears running madly on her face.
"This was a bad idea", she exclaimed as she stood up, passed next to Bill without even looking at him and made her way toward the hatch. He ran to her, caught her wrist in his hand and yelled, "Wait!"
She stopped, his grasp preventing her from leaving the room.
"Laura, I know how difficult this must be for you" he started, worry clearly showing in his eyes.
"Do you?" she hissed at him. If looks could kill, Bill would be dead by now. She snapped her hand from his grasp. Her tone shocked him and he was unable to stop her. "Do you have any idea of what I'm feeling right now? I am on the verge of committing suicide! It's all your fault!", she accused. Turning her back to him; she tried to stop the tears in vain.
'What?', thought Bill. 'Suicide? She must still be thinking about losing the election.'
"We made that decision together. It was the best choice. We already discussed this Laura", Bill told her calmly.
Laura was angry, actually it was rage, she desperately wanted to hit something, but contained herself, not wanting to be put in the brig by the man. She turned to him, glaring, "I hate you for stopping me. I hate you for being so thoughtful. I hate you because now I have nothing left. I am nothing, I am no one. I lost everything I had because of you. I hate you Bill", she said, more tears coming down her face.
"Laura, I'm sorry, please! I know that this is a big change, losing the presidency and coming back to real life?"
"It was MY life! How am I supposed to?" and she started sobbing, her hands holding her head.
The woman in front of Bill was no president, it was not the dying Laura, nor the presidential candidate. He had never seen this woman. It was Laura, the real Laura, no act to hide behind, no shield, a woman lost with no hope left.
Bill had not seen this coming. He had thought Laura could handle losing the presidency. She had always been so strong, a model of respect and fairness for everyone. However, as he saw her frail frame shaking and sobbing, his heart broke. He felt so guilty. She was right, it was his fault. But keeping her away from evil was his sole purpose, he didn't want her to become a criminal, a heartless politician who would do anything to stay in power. What she had done had surprised him. She was an example of loyalty and honesty, she would not cheat. Hearing her confess her sin made him realize he would be losing her if she won the election.
Apparently, he would lose her either way. He had to save what could be saved right now. He came to her and enveloped her in his arms. She made no effort to stop him, she continued to weep, against his chest this time.
"Forgive me Laura, please, forgive me. I had no idea this would hurt you that much.", pleaded Bill.
He had come to love the woman. Love her so much it had changed him, changed his heart, his mind, his soul. She was his friend, companion and soul mate.He could not live a day without seeing her.
Their routine since their return from Kobol, her last days and survival, the kiss as he thought he would lose her forever, had been a way to make sure she was not a dream, she was real, alive. Seeing her so distraught told him he had made a mistake. She had been suffocating by his constant watch. And now she would fly away.
How long did she cry in his arms? She did not care to know. What she knew however, was that forgiving him for destroying her dream would be nearly impossible. She had been relieved not to be alone knowing what she had planned to do, but the outcome was even more catastrophic. She had no will to continue, no hope for the future, she had lost herself.
Despite the cold pain in her heart, Laura felt warmth, not having noticed Bill was shifting his body closer to hers, his hands were caressing her hair. Suddenly she felt her head being rolled away from his chest and his lips were slowly descending upon her cheek. His tongue was tasting her tears. She stiffened, surprised by his actions. The man was trying to seduce her forgiveness? Despite her grief and anger, she allowed herself to relax in his embrace. She was feeling so good right now she closed her eyes. Bill lowered his lips to the corner of her mouth, his tongue softly tracing the line of her lips, Laura opened her mouth, allowing him entrance.
Forgiveness was hard to give but she could try to find it in her, right now he was doing a good job at apologizing and she decided to enjoy the moment while it lasted. Soon enough reality would bring them back to who they are and the hard choices would once again separate them.
The end (Reviews are love!)