Exchanging Pleasantries, a hetalia - axis powers fanfic

France,

I hope you are aware of my adamant loathing for you. I have always held a strong dislike for you since we met, but I did not actually begin to hate you until 1066. You altered my entire culture and changed my language, and I will never forgive you for that. You are just one of the many people I cannot stand, and I am writing you only to inform you that America is mine now. He chose me above you, and it will always be that way. I finally won something worthwhile, France. I hope you are bitter. I hope you are so full of wrath and self loathing and melancholy just as you made me so many years ago.

England.

dear ingland

i miss you. please come home soon.

love america.

Dear America,

I see that I will have to give you more spelling and grammar lessons upon my return. 'England' is spelt with an e, not an i. You also need to utilise capital letters at the beginning of sentences. Good try, however.

I should be able to visit you very soon. A few technicalities prevented me from visiting you prior to certain events, but I am looking forward to seeing you in due time.

England.

Dear England,

I am tryng to get beter at writing. But it would help if you could tech me more. I dont mind if it's you. I promis i will pay atention!

It has been long sinse i last saw you. You said you would be back by now. I miss you England.

Love America.

Dear America,

You have indeed improved slightly, but do keep practicing. I shall definitely teach you more when I return. Until then, continue to try your best.

I apologise for the delay, America. I am on my way, but other ships have slowed down my journey. I got into a little scuffle, but it was nothing I couldn't handle, so there's nothing to worry about.

England.

Dear England,

I have been practising alot. I am still not very good at writing but I am getting better with science. I really want to tell you things I have learned about astronomy! So hurry back!

If you say it is nothing to worry about, then I will try not to. I hope you are okay because I don't like it when you are hurt. As well as that, I hope you are not sick. I heard about the plague.

Love America.

Dear America,

I can see that you have improved significantly. I wish I could be there more to tutor you, but due to current circumstances it is exceptionally difficult. However, I am very much looking forward to be informed about what you've learnt. I've never been terribly advanced in the field of science, but somehow I have the feeling that you will prosper in it.

Do not fear, America; I am in perfect health. I just have a few scrapes and a small cough. I should be there in four days.

England.

Dear England,

Really? I am glad you noticed because I have been doing my best!

I can't believe that England is bad at anything, but even if you are you don't have to worry about it because I'll always help you with science as long as you keep helping me with writing!

I can't wait to see you England! I even have tea ready!

Love America.

Dear England,

It's been four days and your still not here and you haven't replied. Please be in good health. Respond soon.

Love America.

Dear America,

Please forgive my absence and lack of replies. I have had some trouble with other countries and my health, but it's nothing to worry about. Remember to learn your different forms of words and when to use them.

Take care of yourself.

England.

Dear England,

I am sorry for my mistakes but I am very worried. You only reply in such short sentences when you are in danger or you are unwell. You are always vague but something sounds rong. I still miss you a lot England.

Love America.

Dear England,

I am glad you finally managed to visit me England! But you were favoring your right arm and you were limping. You are injured are you not? Please rest and be careful. Don't get into battles for a while if you can help it because you are always hurt nowadays. Also, continue taking your medicine.

Love America.

PS: I hope you enjoyed the tea!

Dear America,

I am sorry to have worried you so much. I am really fine and my injuries are not severe. I cannot help but get into a few feuds, however, as that is what nations like us do when our countries are fighting. It is not fun, and nor is it a show of heroics either, so do not attempt to engage in any arguments with others. Just stay at home where you are safe and where I can protect you.

I did enjoy the tea, thank you. I shall be sure to ship more over to you soon.

England.

Dear England,

You always say your wounds aren't very bad but they seem to be even though you have never let me see them. You're a good actor, England, but I can see through you.

Don't worry. I will not try to fight anyone. But please understand that I don't require your protection all of the time, England. It would be nice if I could protect you sometimes.

I heard you've had trouble with France. Is everything all right?

From America.

Dear America,

Don't be ridiculous, lad. I have no need to act for I am fine, and nor do I require protection. You are just a colony and it is my duty to protect and take care of you. That will never change.

Everything is fine, America. You needn't worry.

Apologies for the hasty response. We are currently recovering from the Great Fire.

England.

Dear England,

I wish you could understand that I do not constantly require protection either. I am steadily improving my skills and America is doing quite well in spite of certain taxes. Speaking of which, can you not do anything about those? They are really having a negative affect on my country.

I heard about the fire. Was it very bad? I know Spain gets quite a lot but you are not used to them are you? Let me know how you're faring.

From America.

Dear America,

You are overreacting, America. I simply wish to keep you safe, and the taxes help that.

It was... It was quite bad, if I am honest. We are recovering, however.

I have shipped more tea over to you. Enjoy.

England.

Dear America,

Are you quite well? You have not replied to my last letter, and it has been a while. I hope you are in good health.

England.

England,

I am quite well, thank you. I apologize for not responding sooner. Nonetheless, would you care to join me for tea in Boston soon?

America.

Dear America,

That is quite a sudden invitation, America. However, it has been a while since I last saw you thanks to bloody France and the treacherous Austria. Surprisingly, Prussia helped me significantly. He's an all right bloke at times. In any case, I would love to have tea with you. I shall see you soon, America.

England.

England,

It will be my pleasure.

America.

England,

You seemed disappointed by my display at our little tea party. Are you upset over the loss of your precious tea, dear England? If only you could be that furious about the unjust taxes you have imposed upon me.

America.

America,

You are acting exceedingly strange and increasingly rebellious. I comprehend that you may be going through a stage in your growth, but you must learn to control yourself. Additionally, I have already told you; the taxes are in place to protect you. Please be aware of this.

England.

When in the course of human events it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the political bands which have connected them with another and to assume among the powers of the earth, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Nature and of Nature's God entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation...

x.

America,

I will not let you go so easily. Are you a fool? I am protecting you. I have done everything for you, and you respond with such ungrateful behaviour. Is this a sick joke?

Please reconsider, for I do not wish to think what could come of this disasterous decision that I am still convinced is a joke.

England.

England,

You should know that I am quite serious, England. If you will not allow me independence peacefully, then I shall have to force you to give it to me.

You were protecting me? You used me. You used me for money, and I was just another colony to fuel your empire. You are going to fall, England, and you will not have colonies to break your fall.

United States of America.

Dear America,

Please reconsider.

Love England.

England,

I will see you on the battlefield.

United States of America.

Angleterre,

I still have that letter you sent me many years ago when you stole L'Amerique from me. Do you remember? And he was not enough for you. You also took Canada from me.

Now it is your turn to feel that agonising anguish when someone you love is torn away from you beyond your control.

I hope it hurts, Angleterre.

France.

America,

I accept my loss. I wish things could have been different. I am sorry I was not good enough for you.

England.

England,

Cease the restrictions on my trades. It is like the taxes all over again. I am not yours to manhandle anymore.

United States of America.

America,

I heard about the Civil War. You seem a lot more on edge lately, and I suppose that is to be expected. I experienced a lesser version of it once. I suppose I could offer you advice, but I doubt you would want to see me.

I hope you are coping well.

England.

England,

I am sorry I have not replied for a long time. Part of me wanted to, but the same part was also worried that I would say something I would regret. It is progressing. Roosevelt is doing a good job.

I have to keep this letter fairly short, however, as I am not feeling that great due to the Great Depression. You probably know it's not going well.

America.

America,

I suppose that was a wise decision. Also, congratulations on doing so well.

Feel better soon, not that I am worried at all.

England.

America,

Oh, bloody hell, America, please tell me you are holding up well. I cannot believe Japan did such a thing. Please respond with haste, America. Let me know you are fine and obnoxious as ever.

England.

England,

Don't worry, old man. I have a plan.

America.

England,

Now it's my turn to worry. God, England, I really hope you're all right. Well, you aren't, obviously. I heard... Don't worry, Germany is definitely going to pay.

America.

England,

You haven't replied in almost two weeks. I'm coming to visit you. Please be okay.

America.

England,

I know you are in no condition to write yet, and won't be for a while. I'm... I'm admittedly kind of shaken up. You always seem so strong, and you try not to show you're in pain, but... you just... You were so hurt, and so vulnerable and... God, England, you're going to hate me for this, but I was so scared and so angry for you and... I just want to protect you.

I'm joining the war.

America.

America,

Thank you.

England.

America,

I received your updates on the Cold War. Please keep letting me know how it goes. Against my better judgement, I just... I do... I do worry for you still. A bit. Maybe. So, just take care of yourself. Don't cross Russia. He's dangerous.

Um... I'm sorry for what Churchill said. It... It was rather embarrassing.

England.

England,

It's good to know you still worry for me, England. But it's going just fine. Just fine. I'm picking things up.

It was kind of embarrassing, but he was right, so... let's work together from now on, all right?

America.

America,

Picking things up? Don't take tips from Russia, Alfred. Please. I don't want you to be like him.

Work together... Yes. Er, yes. Of course. Fine. Good.

England.

England,

Don't worry, England. I'll never be anything like him, because I have people I want to protect.

Aw, you're shy! Heh... It'll be good working side by side again. I like being beside you, England.

America.

PS: Do me a favour and eat more? Rationing has finished, Arthur. You've been too skinny for too long. I know your food is borderline toxic, but please eat more.

England,

I heard about the Suez thing... Listen, England, don't let it bother you too much. I know you dwell on these things, but... It's okay, really.

America.

America,

You were right... You were right when you said I'd fall, and have no one to break my fall... You were right all along. Ha... I'm so tired...

England.

England,

Oh, Arthur. I said that because I was angry, and I did mean it at the time if I'm honest, but... you don't need anyone to break your fall, 'cause I won't let you fall. I'll catch you. So hang in there. I... I still care about you a lot, you know.

America.

America,

You are such an idiot.

England.

PS: ...Thank you. I do too.

x.

England,

Why do I get the feeling that you're going to be calling me an idiot a lot?

No problem at all, England... I also meant it when I said I want to protect you.

So, I heard you've abolished capital punishment... Good move, I guess. But what about criminals?

America.

America,

Because you are an idiot and frequently need to be reminded of it. Idiot.

...Yes, well... I meant it too.

Capital punishment is wrong, in my opinion. Killing people to show that killing people is wrong just seems hypocritical, controversial, and overall wrong. In any case, isn't it worse punishment to be locked away forever?

England.

England,

Wow, thanks a lot. Jerk.

I will definitely protect you. Hey, remember when you used to read me bed time stories about heroes slaying dragons and saving damsels? I'm going to be like them and save people!

Eh... I guess you're right. I don't know.

America.

England,

I'm leaving this note in your bedside table since you passed out earlier. I had to carry you home. It's hot as hell in this heat wave you ain't used to it. I know you have a water shortage, so I'll try to sneak you some extra supplies once in a while. Be sure to rest. Take care.

America.

America,

Sorry for worrying you. The heat wave and water shortage is mending, as is the recession. You seem well though. That's good.

England.

England,

You know I don't get sick easily, since I'm a hero! Haha!

America.

America,

Oh, blimey, Alfred, I'm coming to visit you. I wish I could help you after that bloody hurricane, but... Anyway, I'm on my way.

England.

England,

Thanks for the visit. I'm feeling a lot better, thank you.

America.

Arthur,

You visited me again... You visit me a lot these days. You always know when something's wrong. England... Arthur, thank you. I... I'm never going to forget that despicable date in September. It makes me sick. I guess that's how you feel about my birthday, huh? I'm so sorry. God, this is wrong. So wrong. England. Arthur, thank you for being there. I... Just please stay in contact.

Alfred.

Alfred,

I'll definitely remain in contact, and I'll try to visit you more often. I know it hurts. It will fade in time, although I'm not saying you will ever forget. Just be strong for your people. I'm always here if you need me.

Arthur.

Arthur,

Listen, Arthur. I'm pretty sure you'll agree with me. Iraq is dangerous. We've got to do something because I'm certain that they have weapons of mass destruction hidden there. They could definitely be a threat to both of us. I want to protect everyone. I want to protect you. But I might need some help. Are you up for it?

Alfred.

Alfred,

I understand that you are concerned, Alfred. My government are too. But would instigating a war really accomplish anything? Think carefully about it, Alfred. But if you really do wish to proceed, I shall aid you.

Arthur.

Arthur,

I have thought for a long while. I'm concerned as to what's possibly happening and what could potentially happen. I'd be happy to have you on my side, Arthur.

Alfred.

Alfred,

I will help you.

Arthur.

Artie,

Damn, Artie, I don't know what to say. I know how much it sucks... Jeez. I don't know what to say, Artie. I'm just... I'm so sorry their motivation was the fucking Iraq War. I feel like it's kind of my fault. Man, Arthur. I'm sorry. I'll see you soon, even though I'm not as good at comforting as you are. But it worked in WWII, right? Hopefully I can help you again.

Alfred.

Alfred,

Don't worry so much... It wasn't as bad as your attack was. And it wasn't your fault at all either. I decided to join the Iraq War myself; if it was anyone's fault, it was my own. I assure you, I'm fine. So, please don't worry. And I'm not good at comforting people at all. You know how awkward I am.

Arthur.

PS: My name is Arthur, not Artie or any shortened version thereof!

Artie,

I said it back in the 1940s, and I'll say it again now: You are the strongest person I know.

Now I just have to kick myself for admitting that.

Anyways, you say you're fine but I know you're pretty down. So how about you come to the US for a holiday? We can go to pools and parks and the beach, and I can show you some awesome games Japan's made and kick your ass at 'em!

Btw, now I'll always call you Artie. You know I like annoying you, Mr. Grumpy Boots!

Alfred.

Alfred,

Git. You are such an idiot.

...Thank you, though. You're a sweet git/idiot hybrid.

Well, there's not much going on right now, so I suppose a little holiday wouldn't be so bad... What date would be most beneficial to you then, Alfred?

Arthur.

Artie,

Yup, I'm YOUR git/idiot hybrid! You know you love me~

Just book a flight quick, like for next week or something. 'Til then!

I sorta have something to tell you. So, yeah. Bye!

Alfred.

Alfred,

Don't be absurd! You're deluding yourself, you fool!

How silly. Fine, fine. I'll be there next Tuesday.

What is it you want to tell me? Can't you just write it and be done with it?

Arthur.

Artie,

Can't wait to see you! It's going to be so much fun!

I'll tell you some other time, 'kay...?

Alfred.

Artie,

You're probably on your flight back home by now. I mean, you are, obviously. I friggin drove you to the airport and waved goodbye. But anyways, it's been real fun. And I sorta kept a log thing while you were here in hopes of... eh, I dunno. Just read it, all right? PTO.

Day one: Waiting for Artie at the airport. It's so boring. Waiting, I mean. But still kinda exciting since I'm impatient for him to show up. It's been way too long since I last saw him. It's not that I miss him or anything childish like that, but... okay, well, maybe I kind of do. But not much! Just a little. Hey, journal-log-thing, don't judge me. I've known him for, like, ever. So it's not my fault if sometimes I sort of crave for him to be beside me so that I have easy access to ruffle his (really soft) hair or wrap my arm around his shoulders.
He's so small now... I mean, he isn't extremely short. Well, he kind of is short for a guy. But I dunno, I guess it's 'cause he doesn't eat much and doesn't get out a lot. Or maybe it's just my awesome heroic strength. But anyways, it's real cute. I like how easy we fit together. Wait, that sounded weird!
Anyway, gotta go! His plane is here! AWESOME!

Day two: He tried to get up at friggin 8am, but I made him stay in bed 'til 11:30. He always looks so tired so I thought it'd be cool if he got more sleep. And then I made him pancakes. Mattie taught me how to make good ones. I sort of asked him a while back, mostly for myself but kind of 'cause I always wanted to give Artie some nice food. But anyway, he really liked them! He complained, but he always complains. He obviously thought they were awesome. It's so cute when he tries not to smile. He couldn't stop blushing though! How could I resist teasing him?

So anyway, after that, I dragged him to a carnival in town. He was reluctant at first (and scared lol!), but after I made him go on a few rides he had fun. He was so clinging to me on the first coaster. But I sort of did the same on the ghost train... N-not that I was scared, it was just really cold!

Then we got candy floss. It was epic, but kind of awkward since we shared one together since Artie said, "We are not wasting our money on two of those sticks of bloody sugar." But it was worth it to see him nom away. And he was blushing soo much! He blushes a lot... I wonder why. I guess I'll ask Japan about it later since Artie's too temperamental about it.

Right now we're just watching Pokémon movies. We had a mini wrestling match on the floor after a friendly debate regarding Harry Potter and Twilight, but then we just sort of burst into laughter. It's great to see him laugh, but it made me feel weird... Whatever, I'm stopping now 'cause I'm "being exceedingly rude to ignore a guest"!

Day three: So I made the mistake of watching SAW last night after Pokémon and... and... uh... well, long story short, I slept with Artie. NOT IN THAT WAY! It's not my fault, I couldn't sleep on my own after that! I don't know how he wasn't scared! But after an argument with lots of blushing and twitching (big) eyebrows, Artie agreed to sleep with me. It was really embarrassing but it felt kind of... nice. It felt right. Even though his feet were super cold and he scowled at me. But he falls asleep really quick so that left me to fend for myself. It was okay though, 'cause... well... um... he's actually kind of cute when he's sleeping. And he was hugging me. Hehe. So I was okay.

Anyway, when he woke up (and screamed like a girl, kicked me out of bed and covered himself as if he were naked and had boobs), I took him out for breakfast. I almost went to McDonald's but he didn't seem pleased with my idea, so we went to some "quaint" (his word, not mine) little café. It was actually quite nice, and he didn't reprimand me or make a face when I got coffee.

After that we just browsed and went window shopping. I ended up buying him an I (heart) NY t-shirt. I didn't expect him to wear it, but he did! And damn, he looked pretty good in it actually...
After that we just went back home at took it easy, playing video games, board games and watching movies. It was surprisingly very fun, and he seemed to relax a lot. He laughed more than usual and kept smiling when he thought I wasn't looking. I love his smile.

Day four: I knew Artie burnt easily, but wow. He stayed in the shade most of today, and only came out for a few minutes when I forced him to play volley ball and when I tossed him in the sea. But seriously, he is bright red! Now you can't distinguish between his skin and his blushes, which is a shame. But he's currently sulking about being almost drowned by me (I was just playing!), although he hasn't complained about the sunburn much although I know it's gotta hurt lots. But despite the burn, he seemed to have fun. Even though he's whined about consuming too much sugar and unhealthy food. He's such a girl.
I'm going to rub cream on him now, so... uh... wish me luck... I'll refrain from making any comments 'cause I'm going to feel just as awkward. I think I'll wear baggy jeans...

Day five: We didn't watch any horror films last night, but... we slept together. We didn't do anything. Much. Not really. Although I wanted to. But he just looked so damn innocent in his sleep so I couldn't! But after that cream thing earlier, I'm pretty sure he knows why I was in the shower for fifteen minutes, unless he's more oblivious than me.

But he kissed me before we went to sleep. Of course he got embarrassed, but he didn't screech or shout or kick me out of bed. He just sort of burrowed into the blankets and hid his face. Does he do cute things like that on purpose or what? 'Cause seriously, it's infuriating!

He made me breakfast. I was kind of horrified and thought I'd be sick, but he looked so anxious about it and he had a few bandaids littering his hands so I couldn't just not eat it. So I forced it all down and even asked for seconds. Urgh. It was pretty gross, but I guess it wasn't the worse thing he's ever cooked...

Anyway, I told him to rest today to recover from his sunburn, and he agreed pretty easily. So I went out to buy tickets for tomorrow. I know he likes theatres and stuff so we're gonna see a play. I really hope he likes it, because I've been planning to tell him something for a while now and... ugh... I just... I love him. I always have. I guess my feelings just evolved from familial to romantic. I'm not sure when and I'm not sure how. But all I know is that he's the only person who can make me so furious and upset sometimes, and yet so amazingly happy and... Man, I sound sappy. But I really do feel that way...

Well, I'm taking him swimming in my back yard. Not much since he's still burnt, but I'll help him!

Day six: I wore that suit he bought me. It's not my favorite. Heck, I don't even like suits. Too formal and stiff. But it was worth it when he looked so astonished and admiring and speechless. I wanted to kiss him, but I refrained.

Luckily (and strangely), he'd bought a shirt, blazer and slacks with him. But he spilt tea on his shirt in one of our little scuffles so I had to lend him one of mine. It was quite big on him and he was so embarrassed. I tried not to squee... XD

So later we headed off to the theatre. He looked kind of like a kid, looking around in amazement. Sometimes Artie has his childish moments too. I like seeing them since he acts so grumpy and old man-ish most of the time. Anyway, we had seats close to the stage but pretty high up and it felt quite awesome. Artie talked about his queen for a while but I got kinda... well, not jealous or anything! But... whatever!

The play sort of bored me. I was never that into them. But Artie loved it and that's what mattered to me. So as the orchestra played melodious music and several people left their seats to make their departure, I grabbed Arthur's hand and felt like a lovestruck idiot.

It's all kinda blur. I sort of blurted something that sounded like a jumble of words out and he asked me if I was sick. So embarrassing, but then we both just laughed. I tried again, blushing and stuttering and it was so unheroic... but then he grabbed my face and kissed me and it was so amazing and awesome. It was just like a Hollywood happy ending. I said so, and he whacked me over the head. And then we laughed again.

He loves me too... I'm so happy!

Day seven: Artie's going home today. It's unfortunate, but... we spent all night cuddling (we don't wanna take it too fast) and then just stayed in bed and continued hugging all morning. We ate pancakes and scones for breakfast and played video games again.

I kind of hoped for a really romantic kiss at the airport, but we sort of bumped noses and started laughing like a pair of kids.

It was worth it though.

Well, I'll ramble more in you later, journal-thing. For now I am sneaking you in a letter. Bye!

It was an awesome week, Artie. I'm still kind of trying to get my head around you loving me though.

Well, I'm gonna play some Call of Duty, so catch you later, babe. xxx

Al,

You are such a stupid, romantic, sweet, adorable idiot.

I love you too. And you have no idea just how bloody long that took me to write. Guh... But of course I do. Because... well... why wouldn't I love you? Idiot. Stop making me say these things. Writing them, even. Speaking of which, maybe we should call each other sometimes... It'll obviously be quicker than sending letters.

I love you. Take care, love.

Arthur. x

x.

Ring, ring.

"Bloody hell...! Hello?"

"Catch ya at a bad time?"

"Well it's one in the blooming morning and I have a meeting later."

"My bad."

"I know you're bad with time differences."

"You know me too well, babe!"

"Don't call me that, idiot!"

"Is idiot your pet name for me?"

"Don't be stupid!"

"Aww, I want one. Go on, call me love like you did in the letter."

"Idiot! No way! I was tired. I wrote that by accident!"

"Lies! Why must you lie?"

"I'm not! Shut up, Alfred!"

"Haha! Sorry, sorry. So anyway, miss me much?"

"..."

"J-just kidding! Haha..."

"...Yes."

"Eh?"

"I said yes, you deaf twat! ...I always miss you a lot."

"...Awww. Aww, Arthur. Artie, baby. How sweet... Aww. I always miss you too!"

"Sh-shut up! Don't tease me!"

"Believe me, babe, if I was teasing you, you'd be even more excited right now..."

BANG!

"...Did you just drop the phone?"

"I-it's your fault if I did!"

"Pfft. Oh, Arthur~"

"Don't make fun of me!"

"I'm not, I'm not, I swear!"

"Hmph."

"Don't sulk, honey."

"Ee-? ...Mmph-!"

"Did you just squeak? You make the weirdest sounds. ...I'd like to know what other sounds you make-"

"Enough! Enough with the innuendos!"

"I thought I was being pretty straight forward..."

"Just stop it!"

"You ain't into foreplay, babe?"

"..."

"I know you're a kinky old man. Hey, speaking of which-"

"Am not!"

"Speaking of which, mind sending me some photos?"

BANG!

"Love you too, Artie."

"Fuck you!"

"With pleasure~"

"Stop it!"

"Which position do you like most? I could be your cowboy anytime!"

"Oh, fucking hell, that's it. You're getting on the next flight over here."

"Wait, what?"

"See you soon."

"Artie-"

"Love you too, Al."

"Damn you. Love you, Artiekins."

Axis Powers Hetalia belongs to Hidekaz Himaruya.

So, people seemed to like this sort of format from Writing Sweet Nothings, and I liked a prompt I used in my 100 themes Neutron Star Collision, so I expanded on it. Slightly disappointed with it if I'm honest, but I hope you like it nonetheless. Take care, guys. xo