ANIME NIGHT
An Astro/Reno fanfic
Astro Boy (c) Osamu Tezuka 1954. Sony Pictures 2003
All rights respected. Non-Profit fandom enjoyment only.
Saturday evening
Metro City
Astro stepped off the bus in the busy Ginza district and ran across the street to Teuchi's Pizza shop to pick up his usual Saturday night order.
Saturday nights were his. The Doctor could be screaming till the house shook or Inspector Towashi could be throwing a torrent of curse words over the radio but if the city wasn't under alien assault, some hundred foot tall robot wasn't running crazy or there wasn't impending nuclear doom...don't bother calling because it's Adult Swim night and Astro wasn't going to lift a big toe on Adult Swim night!
Especially when it involved a big gooey messy Teuchi's supreme pizza, had to have that. Most important though was just spending time with friends, that mattered alot, especially Reno. Since he was "addopted" by the Ministry of Science three years ago, Reno had become Astro's closest and most intimate human...intimate in that he knew the robot boy's every wire, circuit and joint, heck he fixed most of them.
Astro, just by dumb luck, was Metro City's punching bag and Reno was always there to sew him back together so was it any surprise that Astro acted like a kid bother around the 13 year old wiz kid? Hense Astro's obsession with Saturday night being an absolute "punching bag free zone" so he could spend time with his "Bestest Buddy".
Walking into Teuchi's, Astro found the place in full Saturday night madness. Pizza's flew around and over his head, skillfully caught by servers and dropped onto the crowded tables. The place was near deaf levels with music blasting from the wall speakers...
"Duck!" Came a familliar voice from behind Astro and he skillfully stepped aside as Orin caught a giant pie and spun around to place it on a table next to him. "Hey Astro!" Orin waved.
"You decided to take the job after all?" Astro asked. "Dad's not keeping you busy enough?"
"Well comeon...everybody needs a little more pocket money." Orin said as he walked with Astro up to the counter. "How else can I afford to take Julia out on dates? And have fun while doing it? DUCK!"
Astro felt another pizza zoom over his head as he patted a hand on the order counter. "Hey! My favorite steady customer, how are you tonight?" Mister Teuchi asked as he walked up with Astro's order in hand.
"The usual." Astro replied. He was going through his pockets for Yen when he noticed a boy sitting at the bar next to him munching on a few slices. Astro paid Teuchi then slowly slipped onto a nearby stool...
"Uhhh...are you?" He asked quietly. He didn't want to cause a mad house if his suspicions were right. "Can I have...your autograph?"
The blonde boy looked at Astro and smiled. "I should be asking that from you! My luck I run into a real bonified hero here!"
Astro waved a hand. "It's nothing...honest. At least I try to keep it that way." Astro said as he bent to the side. "Can you? Could you say "Believe it!" just once?"
The blonde boy waved his fist and clenched his teeth. "BELIEVE IT! You need Ninja coffee? Well there's no better coffee maker than this leaf village ninja!"
"Oh my God that was so corney." Toshi Kanaka said as he rubbed his wild hair. "So do you like the show?"
Astro nodded. "I like the stunts. I know you guys use computer effects for most of them but when you use the wires it's like so smooth I can't tell. Do you do any of them?"
Toshi smiled back. "Heck yeh! Well...I gotta threaten to walk off the set sometimes. They treat us like we're China dolls. Remember that scene in the Chunin exams when Naruto was being lectured by Neji after he got his butt kicked against that wall?"
"Yeah...that was a long boring scene. Neji talked for like fifteen minutes." Astro said shurgging his shoulders. "My friend Reno was yelling at the television..."OK, SHUT UP!"
Toshi smiled. "Broke my leg."
"No way!" Astro replied shocked.
"Yup...did that wall stunt and the cable snapped. Foot went left, ankle went right, "snap!" We kept filming because my face expresions were priceless." Toshi reached into his jacket pocket and threw a ninja headband to Astro. "Here...you can keep that. I want your autograph on my other one."
Astro took the headband and scribbled on it. "I like the show a lot!"
"Would you like to be an extra?" Toshi asked.
"No way." Astro replied smiling.
"Yeah!" Toshi said waving a hand. "We have an episode coming up where Naruto has to be a witness at a funeral, sort of an official griever. I could get you an extra part to play a relative."
Astro beamed. "That would be so cool!"
Toshi handed him a slip of paper. "This is my number. Call me Monday and I'll set it up. I mean come on, they can't blow you off...you'd be the biggest audiance draw yet!"
"Sweet!" Astro said as he hugged the slip of paper. "Reno will be drooling over this!"
Astro looked at his watch and gasped. "Shoot! It's almost time for Adult Swim! I gotta go!" He said as he waved to Toshi, ran out the door and took off towards the Ministry of Science.
It was a great convieniance to have your apartment mixed in with your lab, no daily commutes, no need to go to the food courts and no having to hunt for places to take a nap. Of course, as with most young genius's left to their own devices, such arrangements didn't come with maid services...
Reno's apartment was aptly described as a "Mega flop", the name meaning a super disorganized mess to the uninitiated. Electronics, parts and tools were scattered about the place, mixed in with the trappings and trimmings of everyday adolescence like scattered clean clothes, books out of their shelves, video games lying simply because they could fit there, posters on the cieling, hats on the lamps...yeah...orderly kidtonic chaos.
Astro landed on the sill outside the big picture window and stood wiggling the pizza box in his hands. "Dinner!" He said with a big grin.
"About time!" Reno said as he emerged from the bathroom rubbing a towel through his hair. "I was expecting you an hour ago."
Astro handed Reno the pizza. "I got occupied. Guess who I met at Teuchi's? Toshi Kanaka!"
"Uh Uh!" Reno snorted back as Astro walked into the bathroom with his backpack.
"Uh huh! He offered me a part in an episode too." Astro said smirking.
"You suck." Reno snorted...till Astro dropped the ninja headband into Reno's hands.
"He gave you that."
"That's cool." Reno replied happily as he tied the band around his head. "Hey...run that request you e-mailed me on earlier today again?"
Astro had slipped into the shower. "Oh...did you talk to Doctor O'Shay? Dad didn't have a problem with it."
"Well...Doc's kinda luke warm. Called it a frivilous expense. He's sympathetic trust me but you know he's a budget hound."
Astro came out of the bathroom dressed in blue PJ's. he pulled up the shirt and rubbed his belly. "It's just a simple little addition, what's the big deal?"
"Synthetic Kevilar skin is an expensive item." Reno said shrugging his shoulders as Astro flopped onto the bed.
"It's only a small area." Astro replied frowning. "Come on...since when was an "inny" an expensive item?"
Reno grabbed the pizza, tossed a can of oil to Astro and climbed onto the bed. "Well there's the cost of the skin, labor time, tool expenses, electricity..."
"It's a belly button!" Astro snorted. "Cheese, I'm not begging for the package deal you know..."
"Well..." Reno replied as he took a slice of pizza. "I guess the reasoning is that if it's a belly button then soon it'll be chest nipples, defined body lines, a tummy tuck..."
Astro frowned. "But arm cannons, laser fingers and guns in my butt were just fine expenses weren't they?"
Reno pointed to the television. "But...we have Adult Swim, pizza, drinks...the world's not all bad huh?"
"Guess not." Astro replied pursing his lips. "I still want my tushie tuck though."
"An unreasonable expense." Reno replied smirking. "Besides...you need a fat tushie to handle all that ammunition."
"Sometimes I think Dad put the guns back there to torture me." Astro said smirking. "They don't really get much use and you've seen how people joke about them."
Reno handed Astro a slice of pizza. "I know...but it's like a signature thing people know you for...besides they're an important "rear guard" defensive weapon."
Astro grinned evilly..."Do you know how sick that just sounded?"
Reno smiled back. "You're the one gaining a rapidly sick little mind. Maybe Adult Swim's a bad influence after all?"
Astro lifted the slice above his head and allowed the gooey cheese to flow into his mouth. There he sat, cheese drooling from his mouth, his cheeks pootched from the glob rolling over his tongue...
"Damn! Got mannors much?" Reno snorted as Astro slurped the offensive drool string back in his mouth. "Just imitating pleasurable human behavior. This is so cool...Anime, pizza and...where'd you get this oil?"
Reno thought. "I think it's from Jiffy Lube...been like a month since I got it."
"Taste like it too." Astro replied as he smacked his tongue around. "That doesn't go well with pizza at all."
"I got peanut oil with cloves and linseed." Reno said as he handed Astro a bottle. "It's actually less grinding on the mechanical unions and pivots than what you normally get."
Adult Swim
The Boondocks
11pm
"You know what I don't get?" Reno said as he adjusted his back against the pile of pillows behind him. "Huey's like what? Seven or Eight? He's a 12th degree blackbelt, Akido grand master, Second level Samurai, Nunchuku fifth level Bojutsu ninja grand sage...how can that be?"
Astro smirked back. "he kicked around the womb while hearing Chuck Norris re-runs? I'm what? Four years old in human years and I can be an 11th level grand master in like a half a second?"
Ed Wunzler: You know like...I'm down with it baby you hear me...
Rummy: Are you talking in that stupid Bluetooth again?
Astro looked at Reno. "That's familliar."
"What?" Reno replied.
"Look who does that when I need help." Astro said smirking. "Why is it that when I'm being smacked around and I call you? You're always gabbing with Abby?"
"Gabbing?" Reno snorted back. "You probably get into these little fights on purpose just to interupt my love life."
"Yeah...like last week when I got my butt pounded by Atlas, I called and where were you? "Oh my darling Reno...kissy kissy..."..."Help me Reno!"..."Sorry, bad connection, I'm busy." Astro snorted. "Who picks the opportune times again?"
"I wasn't talking to her then." Reno said with a nod. "I was engaged in a delicate experament."
"Parfume sniffing sure is dellicate." Astro replied with a sneer.
Huey Freeman: I've come to the conclusion that humans do stupid things not because they want too, not because it's part of their nature but...because some one invented the portable video camera.
Astro and Reno looked at each other and nodded together..."You Tube!"
"Uh uh..." Reno then said waving a finger. "Stupid robot pet trick volume one...You and the 4:40."
"What?" Astro said as he stopped munching another pizza slice. "Now wait a minute!"
"Yes..." Reno replied half-laughing. "You were caught surfing on the roof and whack! You and a railway light rack!"
"Na ah!" Astro replied. "I was chasing Denku!"
"She left you like four stops back. The camera's don't lie or was the big giggling smile on your face and the Tony Hawk impersonation part of your genius tactics? Boy did I have to lie you out of getting grounded for that stunt!"
Astro crossed his arms. "I resolved the problem so I decided to run a field test of the new magnetic gravity induction coils in my boots."
"That's what you told the police sketch artist." Reno replied smirking.
Adult Swim
Full Metal Alchemist
11:30 pm
Astro and Reno lay with their heads at the foot of the bed...
Roy Mustang: So Full Metal...think you have the strength to take me on or are you truely short on gifts as you are on size?
Edward Elrich: WHO YOU CALLING SO SHORT THAT HE CAN FIT INTO A SODA CAN YOU PYROTECHNIC FREAK BAT!" "CLAP!"
Roy Mustang: Too slow..."snap!" "FLAME!"
"I so want to do that." Reno said as he lay kicking his feet in the air.
"What?" Astro asked. "Make your own flames?"
"Yeah!" Reno replied. "I mean think about it. I could hire myself out as a walking incinerator, I'd make millions! Especially in private security..."Need those documents shreaded? Poof!." Then there's demolition. "Old house? No problem! Poof!"
Astro pursed his lips. "Of course you forgot all the regullations and permits you'll need. The environmental laws, zoning codes, insurance forms, licences, fees, classification of your powers as a potential weapon..."
Reno looked at Astro with a snort. "You're a walking buzzkill."
"It's just obvious."
"It's obvious I'm dreaming." Reno said frowning. "You'd kill a whole Star Trek convention."
Astro raised his head and pursed his lips. "Well I'd rather be Edward Elric. His power's way cooler and he doesn't need a transmutation circle. Does Roy Mustang do anything without a transmutation circle? And when he gets wet, can he do anything with a transmutaton circle?"
Reno pushed on Astro. "Stop it! You're starting to sound like Lucy Van Pelt."
Alphonse Elric: So...What is it big brother?
Edward Elric: I dunno...
Alphonse Elric: Well...touch it.
Eward Elric: You touch it!
Alphonse Elric: Me? You're the older one and the wisest, you touch it!
Reno shook his head and face palmed..."Oh God...The inviso-wedgie caper."
Astro pursed his lips. "Huh?"
"That time the astronauts brought back that wired looking thing and it came into my work shop by mistake?"
Astro thought..."Yeah."
"There it was right there!" Reno said pointing to the TV..."You touch it! No...you! No...you...ZAP!"
"I went invisable." Astro said giggling.
"You also went stupid." Reno replied smirking.
Flashback
A year ago
Reno was looking like crazy through his apartment. "Oh man, oh man, oh man! If Doc finds out about this he'll kill me! I can't believe I let him touch it!"
Suddenly some one fell through the open sliding panel of Reno's picture window gasping and struggling to keep his feet..."HELP! HEY YOU PATHETIC FLESH BAG, HELP ME!"
Atlas Boy climbed all over Reno's shirt in a desperate attempt to escape some sort of impending danger. "KEEP HIM WAY FROM ME!" The blonde haired red bot pleaded.
"Gnah! What's wrong with you?" Reno shouted. "Get out of my apartment you renegade creep!"
Suddenly...Atlas's lower lip curled under his upper teeth and his face contorted in horrific terror...his black shorts had been jacked up behind him to the back of his neck!
"Mommy...ouch!" He squeeled before he fell over.
Present
"BWAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Both boys were wild with laughter, kicking and hitting the bed with their balled fists as tears rolled from their eyes...
"Oh my God!" Astro laughed. "I did that! No wonder he hates my guts!"
"Giggles"...Totally priceless!" Reno said as he rolled onto his back. "And then there was Skunk."
"Skunk? What happened then? Why didn't you tell me any of this?" Astro wondered.
"Delayed satisfaction." Reno remarked. "He was planning a heist as usual but there was this problem of a traffic stop..."
Flashback
"Sir...are you aware you were speeding in a residential zone?" The police officer asked as he looked into the car.
"Yeah...it was the only pace I could find to drag...what?" Skunk said as he looked around furiously.
"Sir..." The officer said tapping Skunk's shoulder. "Is there a problem?"
"Yeah...you're ugly and blocking my way...hey! That wasn't me!" Skunk shouted. "Who's doing that!"
The officer scratched his head. "Sir? Have you been drinking?"
"Quite alot actually!...NOW CUT THAT OUT!"
"That does it!" The officer snarled as he pulled open the door and pulled Skunk out of his car. "You're under arrest!"
"AND YOU'RE STILL UGLY!...THAT WASN'T ME!...YOU'RE NOT JUST UGLY, YOU'RE UBBER UGLY!"
Present
"That's why he's in the prison mental health ward?" Astro thought as he played a finger over his lips. "Oh man, that was mean...I should tell the truth."
Reno smirked.
"After another year or so." Astro replied smiling.
"See? You're starting to become as devious as a human after all." Reno said smirking. "Man we just sucked all that pizza?"
"Want me to order a delivery?" Astro asked. "Orin can drop it off on his way home."
"Need I ask?" Reno replied.
Adult Swim
Ghost in the Shell, Stand Alone Complex
12:00 am
"And there she is!" Reno said as he pointed to the television.
"Huh?"
"Your mom." Reno said smiling.
"No way! Uh uh..." Astro replied.
"Think of the advantages!" Reno said as he sat up. "You could be a total hellion in school! You can get into trouble and Kusinagi would have to come see the principle to bail you out. I mean...imagine her sitting in front of Principle Ban's Desk..."What did my child do now Principle Ban?" That angelic face, that curvy body, those gorgeous..."
Astro innocently pointed. "What's her...uh...boobs got to do..."
"Open your eyes ditz!" Reno said as he tapped Astro off the head. "Ban would be so concentrated upon her...you know...chest? He'd forget whatever you did! It's so fool proof!"
"And what would she do after that?" Astro said frowning. Just then...Kusinagi landed a swinging foot into the treasured purse of an offending terrorist. "SHE'D KILL ME!"
"Well..." Reno said shurgging his shoulders.
"Well nothing!" Astro replied frowning. "I'd come home..."Astro? Come here...NOW!"...I'd walk into the kitchen..."WHAM!"...ouch." Astro fell over. "She scares me. You can have the terminator with the size ten pumps all you want!"
"I would." Reno said crossing his arms. "No bully would try beating me up, that's for sure."
"She is cute." Astro said as he rested his chin on his hands and smiled. "They say female's breasts are very soothing, is that true?"
"How should I know?" Reno replied. "I never had a mother...well...human one any way."
"She's got pillows." Astro giggled.
"Man...you are starting to act way too human for me."
Adult Swim
Kikaider
12:30 am
"Here's another round of pizzas for you!" Orin said as he placed two more boxes of supremes on the kitchen table.
"Wanna stay and watch Orin?" Astro asked as he pulled two goey slices out.
"Unfortunatly...I still have my day job with your Dad so...my night life's are brief and I have to enjoy them when I can."
"Say hi to Julia for me." Reno said smiling. "By important he means getting some robot nookies."
Astro nudged Orin. "A little shareware time Orin?"
"Now...now you cut that out Astro! I'm starting to think Reno's a bad influence on your learning." Orin said shaking his finger.
"Hey!" Reno replied snorting. "I'm not a bad influence. I'm mearly...tweeking his human side. Trust me he'll be spray painting like Atlas in no time."
Orin gave Astro a sarcastic look and left the two boys alone again on the bed...
"This is one depressing Anime." Reno said frowning.
"Yeah but it's deep." Astro replied. "I sometimes feel a lot like Jiro. I don't really know if I'm having emotions or if it's my programming making me act a certain way to a certain situation. It can get a little annoying."
"Do you sometimes think you're human?" Reno asked.
"Why do you think I wanted a belly button? Astro said smiling. "Sometimes I think about what it would have been like to be born, have a mother, being a wobbly toddler...not that my own first steps weren't important."
"Like the first time you lit your leg rockets off?" Reno said smirking.
"We won't go there." Astro replied.
Reno rolled around and rested his head in a hand. "Tell me seriously...do you want us to age mod you?"
Astro looked back. "As in?"
"14...15...17...? After four years and seeing how everyone else is aging...?"
Astro rubbed his hands over himself. "I...I dunno. See my current size is kind of an advantage, just perfect for tight places and it's handy when I'm flying...but...I always hear that puberty is the bomb."
Reno smirked. "Don't quite know how to handle that...I don't think the world's ready for a teenage Astro, especially if we got the "hormonal syms" screwed up."
Astro tilted his head. "Hormonal what?"
Reno slipped his finger through his thumb and index finger and chuckled.
"Oooohhhhh...that." Astro replied gasping. "Well...I didn't say I wanted "That" kinda mod."
"Tell me though...are there any lucky girl bots yet?" Reno winked.
Astro paused to play with his lips. "Well...uh...oh...there's Cora but..."
"Cora?" Reno replied. "From the scientist in training school? She's human."
"Yeah..." Astro replied sighing. "And that's kinda the rub. We've been out on a date and...well...we kissed...it's kinda sealed."
Reno face palmed. "I warned you about that. She's gonna be broken hearted eventually."
"I know...but I don't know how to explain things to her. I don't want to hurt her feelings and yet...ugh." Astro threw his pillow over his head till Reno pulled it off.
"Give me a little time to come up with a way."
"I'd appreciate it." Astro replied.
Adult Swim
Inuyasha
1:00 am
Astro guzzled another can of oil. "Inuyasha is way cooler."
"His brother kicks his ass all the time. He's a puss." Reno snorted back.
"Not all the time!" Astro replied. "Inuyasha whips out the adamant barrage and totally rules Seshomaru!"
"When it comes to class though? Seshomaru makes Inuyasha look like a little chump. He always whines and complains about everything! Sheesh, probably complains about bathroom breaks."
Astro looked sideways and snorted. "You complain about bathroom breaks. Then you wish you had TIVO and you complain about that."
Reno snorted back. "Those fat red boots of yours are super gay."
Astro huffed. "Now what brought that on?"
"Well they're gay...just saying."
Astro snatched a boot off the floor and held it in front of him. "I'll have you know that these are eurgonomically correct. They reduce the shock on my support frame, they enhance my movement and they're practically wear resistant thank you."
"And they're uber gay." Reno replied smiling.
Astro dropped the boot and pouted. "You're terrible. I'm hurt and that I can feel."
"You know I'm just kidding." Reno said sympatheticlly.
"I was testing your reaction." Astro said pouting.
"But they're still ubber ubber ultra gay."
"That did it!" Astro snapped as he snagged a pillow and whaled Reno off the bed!
"You're damn right that did it!" Reno replied and soon an all out feather flying pillow fight was in full swing!