Disclaimer: RWBY belongs to Monty Oum and Rooster Teeth. I own nothing of it and am only playing in this wonderful world Monty gave us.
A little something I came up with while recovering in the aftermath of three weeks in a black hole of some level of depression and all of the wonderful things it brings with it to the party.
From the Heart
Tired as she felt, being reunited with her little sister again made Yang feel so good that she thought she just might burst. Even after a couple of days that feeling was just as strong as when she first laid eyes on Ruby after finally catching up to her. She had been a mess, a total disaster the last time she saw her and while she could easily use that as an excuse she wasn't about to. She loved Ruby more than anyone and she had given her the cold shoulder, telling her that she wanted to be left alone and not returning her heartfelt 'I love you'.
It had taken her a long time to realize what she had done and when she did it only added to her misery. The realization came on the heels of her bitterness trying to paint Ruby as someone else who had abandoned her and it hurt so much to have that disgusting thought, that accusation cross her mind for even a second. She knew that there were two reasons why Ruby had left. One was to hunt down the bad guys that had brought about the attack on Beacon and the other was because she thought her big sister didn't want her around and that one was confirmed within moments of finally seeing her again after so many months.
Other than a few stories during dinner the night they were reunited, she didn't know much about what Ruby had encountered or what she had gone through during those months of travel. She knew her little sister well enough to know that she would have carried the feelings of her own sister not wanting her around as an ever increasing weight on her shoulders. She probably hadn't properly grieved for Penny or Pyrrha either, she wouldn't want to burden Jaune, Ren, and Nora with her feelings during their journey when they were still dealing with their own grief for their lost friend and team member.
That in itself would have been heavy enough for Ruby to carry even without the weight she had added. She felt that she had a lot to make up for and she would find a way to do it. Seeing how scared and unsure Ruby looked when she saw her standing there tore at her heart. She was afraid that she was angry with her for leaving, angry like she had shown her she was over Blake leaving. Afraid that her big sister hadn't wanted her near. She knew that Ruby just wanted to help, someway, somehow, but when she wouldn't let her be close Ruby did the only thing she could. She told her that she loved her and she just kept staring out the damn window like she wasn't even there.
That wasn't the only thing though, she needed to make up for the way she had snapped at her and Weiss when the subject of Blake came up, and for that matter, for Weiss giving up information about herself by way of helping her. She knew that couldn't have been easy for her, especially given what she had told her. She felt like she was starting to understand the Ice Queen a little better now.
As she sat on her bed in her sleepwear and doing her nightly inspection for damage or dirt she might have missed cleaning up on her prosthetic arm, she carefully watched Ruby as she changed into her own sleepwear. She was relived to see no signs of new scars or recent wounds on her. A slightly sad smile came to her lips as she noticed again how much Ruby had grown and changed over the months, all things that she had missed. She had noticed at a glance of course when she first saw her but she could discern more of the details now. She was taller and more toned from the long walk to Mistral and fighting Grimm along the way.
The 'baby fat' of the young teen that she had last seen so many months ago was disappearing and being replaced by leaner, more solid muscle and her body was starting to fill out. She needed new sleepwear by the looks of it thanks to her growth. The tank top and pants were both looking a little tight and the pants looked like they were getting a little short in the legs.
Outwardly at least, it seemed like she moved and carried herself with a little more confidence. The changes in her outfit reflected that a little bit too. Instead of being completely buttoned up she had traded the tights for thigh highs and the cut of her blouse left a little bit of the pale skin of her upper chest visible. Her 'combat skirt' was a little less poofy too.
The slightly sad smile turned to an amused one. Ruby kept taking little glances towards her arm but was trying to look like she wasn't. She had seen the stars in her eyes when she had been showing it off that first night at dinner. From the first moment when she began to accept the device as truly being part of her now, she had known that Ruby would be fascinated by it. She figured though that beyond her initial outburst that first night Ruby was trying to contain her enthusiasm and curiosity because she was afraid she would make her uncomfortable.
"Ruby," she called, rolling her eyes when the girl nearly jumped and quickly looked away. "C'mere already. It's okay if you want to check out my arm you know. It's not going to bother or upset me."
"A-are you sure?"
'Same old Ruby.' "Positive," she answered, smiling and patting the bed next to where she sat. Ruby came and sat next to her, watching intently as she started going thorough a series of simple movements with her fingers, hand, and elbow.
"Whoever designed this is a freaking genius," she said. "It's not my real arm of course, but with the way it moves and how easy it is to use it's just about as close as you can get I think."
Ruby tentatively reached out with her hand. "Can I...?"
She responded by simply holding out her hand. When Ruby placed her hand in it she gently curled her fingers closed. "Not as warm as the real thing," she lamented. "But it's not as cold as you would think it would be."
"Can you feel anything with it?"
"That's where things get a little weird sometimes," she answered.
"How so?" Ruby asked, cocking her head to the side.
"Well, I can sort of feel it when something touches my arm," she began. "And I can feel that I'm holding something in my hand, but I can't feel things like the texture of it or make out any details by touch or tell if it's warm or cold. The really weird thing though is that if I'm holding something I'm familiar with it sometimes feels like I'm holding it in my real hand. The feeling only lasts a few seconds usually and it's a little freaky since I know I shouldn't be able to feel it like that." She shrugged. "Part of phantom limb syndrome and something I have to get used to."
"Phantom what?" Ruby asked.
"Phantom limb," she repeated, removing her prosthetic and waving her remaining arm. "It means that even though there is nothing there it sometimes feels like there is. Sometimes it just feels like I still have my arm, sometimes it hurts." Ruby seemed to deflate at hearing that. She reattached the arm and ruffled the younger girl's hair with her left hand. "Don't worry Rubes, its not that bad. It's getting better and doesn't happen as often as it used to. I've learned to accept it and deal with it. In time it could stop entirely, it just might take a while."
"Yang, I..." It was clear that the notion of her sometimes still being in pain had really hit her. "I'm sorry," she cried, tears filling her big, silver eyes. "I should have stayed with you but instead I took off after the bad guys like the hero in one of those fairy tales. I should have been there to help you. Even if I thought you didn't want me there I should have stayed anyway."
She started to tear up too. "It probably wouldn't have mattered Ruby...you saw how I was. I just wanted to be alone and I couldn't even tell you that I loved you too. I probably would've taken my anger out on you and you didn't deserve that."
"But I left you too!" Ruby cried. "Just like our Moms, just like Blake. You have every reason to be mad at me too."
Her heart sank and her stomach clenched. 'Oh no, she heard what I said to Weiss.'
Ruby looked up at her, tears now streaming down her pale cheeks. "You've always done so much for me Yang. You're my big sister and my best friend. When Mom never came back you took over and you pretty much raised me all by yourself. You've always given up so much for me and you've always been there for me. I love you so much Yang, but when you needed me I left too."
Seeing the anguish on Ruby's face and in her eyes threatened to break her heart. "What I said...and what I didn't say...I didn't give you much of a reason to stay."
"But you were hurt and you were hurting...that should have been enough," the little reaper sobbed. "Everything you've done for me...that should have been enough but I abandoned you."
"And you thought that I was going to be angry with you too." Ruby could only nod, no longer able to look her in the eye. "When I was at my lowest," she said, her voice breaking badly. "There was a moment where I was." Ruby began to shake and her heart clenched. "But as soon as I thought it I knew it was wrong and I was so ashamed of myself and I felt sick. If I hadn't shut you out and if I had only said 'I love you too', I know you would have stayed. I know you well enough Ruby that I knew I had broken your heart and I felt so guilty. It snapped me out my funk enough that I stopped spending all of my time staring out the window alone and drowning in misery."
"I'm sorry," Ruby sobbed again, miserably.
She took Ruby's face in her hands and gently tilted her head back up. "You have nothing to be sorry for Ruby. Nothing at all." She gently caressed the tears from her sister's cheeks with her thumbs. "I'm the one that should be saying sorry to you." She gave her the best smile she could manage at the moment. "And you know, maybe I did miss out on stuff and give up a lot because I was looking after you, but I don't regret a minute of it and I'd do it all over again. I love you so much and I'm so proud of you. You've become my hero Ruby and the only thing I need in return is to know that you love me."
"I do love you Yang." Ruby practically leapt at her, wrapping her arms around her neck and shoulders.
"I know you do," she said, wrapping her arms around her. "And I love you too sis."
They held each other and cried until they were finally able to calm down again. When they separated she nudged the last of the tears from Ruby cheeks before taking her hands in hers. "No more blaming yourself or feeling like you did anything wrong okay Rubes?"
She sniffled and gave the beginnings of a smile. "Okay Yang."
She smiled back and gave her hands a little squeeze. "You know, I should probably thank you for the fact that I finally came to my senses and put this arm on."
"What do you mean?" Ruby asked.
"When Dad first brought it home I didn't want anything to do with it," she began. "Seeing it in the box made my stomach turn almost like it did when I first woke up in the hospital and saw that my arm was gone. It wasn't my arm. Even though I already had the basis for an connection attached to my stump and knew at some point I'd end up with a prosthetic, I didn't want anything to do with it. I still wasn't ready to face that yet."
"What changed your mind?" Ruby asked.
"One night Dr. Oobleck and Professor Port came over and were visiting Dad, telling old stories about the time Dad was attending Beacon." She chuckled. "I've got a good story to tell you about Uncle Qrow by the way." Ruby smiled back, eager to hear a story about her favourite Uncle. "Professor Port asked me why I hadn't tried on the arm yet." She looked away, down at the floor. "I was afraid...of a lot of things. I was afraid to try to get back up again after having been knocked down. I was afraid that if I put on that arm I would have to finally accept what I had lost when it had been so easy to just kind of drift and not do anything." She looked back up into her sister's eyes. "I was afraid that I wouldn't be me anymore. But after I put on the arm and started training with Dad, all of that just kind of melted away and didn't seem so bad anymore."
"You're still you Yang," Ruby said happily.
"Not entirely," she cautioned causing that smile to slip a little. "I've still got a ways to go to be like I was and even then I won't be entirely the same, there's no way that I can be after what happened. But in most ways that'll be a good thing. I can't just attack without thinking anymore and expect my Aura and my Semblance to tank everything." She raised her prosthetic arm. "It sure didn't work the last time and I don't think I'll be quite so fearless anymore. It was a pretty expensive lesson to learn."
"Yang..." Ruby began. She wanted so badly to say something that would make her big sister feel better but she didn't know what that was and it made her feel useless.
Yang took Ruby's hands in hers again. "It's alright Ruby. Professor Port said fear was like any other emotion and it was all in how you handled it. I'd rather be scared and out here doing something to help than sitting at home too afraid to face the world again. If I let the fear control me then I might as well give up and I'm not about to do that." She looked into those beautiful silver eyes, eyes that sadly had begun to lose just a little bit of their look of innocence. "I made you a promise Ruby, that I would never leave you and that I'd always be by your side and I mean it with all my heart. I couldn't do that sitting at home scared and feeling sorry for myself." She looked down and her voice got quieter. "Just, maybe now I might need to lean on you a little bit sometimes sis."
"Of course you can lean on me Yang," Ruby smiled. "As much as you need to. Whenever you need to." She hugged her. "I'm just so happy that you're here. I missed you so much."
"I missed you too Ruby. And now that I am here I can watch your back like I should be," she smirked. "After all, I am armed and ready."
"...uggghhh...Yang!" Ruby groaned, sagging into her.
She chuckled as she pushed her back upright. "It's true." She lifted her arm up about chest high. "Cuz it's not just an arm." A panel slid open on top of her forearm. "It's also a gun."
Ruby's eyes went wide. "Are you kidding me!?" she shrieked. She began looking it over from every angle. "Yang...this is awesome!" She caught herself for a moment, thinking that maybe she shouldn't be having a weapons geek fangasm over her sister's artificial arm.
Yang saw the hesitation and smiled, 'booping' her sister on the nose. "I know right? It is pretty cool. But there's another feature I want to try out and make sure it works."
"What is it?" she asked, hoping it was something really cool.
"The sister tickler." With that she pounced, the fingers on both hands attacking the smaller girl's ribs.
Ruby shrieked and tried to get away but the attack was relentless. With no options for escape she began to retaliate. It went on for several minutes until the writhing, laughing, and shrieking sisters rolled off the bed and hit the floor with a thump. The giggling continued as they laid there and sought to catch their breath.
"I guess that function works," Yang grinned, raising the arm and giving a thumbs up. She closed her fist and extended it towards Ruby who returned the fist bump.
"We haven't done that in a while," she breathed with a grin.
"Hey, I wonder if Weiss is ticklish?" Yang pondered.
Ruby saw the devilish look in her sister's eyes and grinned, matching it with one of her own. "I guess we'll just have to find out." They both laughed.
"Thank you Yang," Ruby said, serious but still smiling.
"For what?" she asked, propping herself up on her left elbow.
"For everything. You're the best big sister anyone could ever have." The look in her eyes was one of pure and honest adoration and gratitude.
The words went straight to Yang's heart and almost brought tears to her eyes. "Well, you made it easy Rubes, you're the best little sister a big sister could ever want."
Ruby giggled. "We sound so sappy don't we?"
"Nothing wrong with that," Yang grinned. Ruby smiled but it was soon broken by a yawn. "Yeah, it is kind of that time isn't it?" She got up and held out her hand. When Ruby took it she hauled her to her feet. "So, wanna cuddle up with your big sis?"
"I'm getting kind of old for that aren't I?" Ruby asked sheepishly. She didn't fail to notice the slight dimming of Yang's smile.
"You can never be too old," Yang answered. "Besides," her voice became low and quiet. "I could kind of use it right now."
"Okay," Ruby said, smiling. "Then I'll be the cuddle-er, and you can be the cuddle-ee...or whatever." She hopped onto the bed and moved to the far side, laying down and leaving room in front of her.
Yang's smile returned in full as she flipped off the light and flopped into bed. Immediately Ruby's arms were around her and holding her close just like she used to do for her whenever she needed it. It was quite the role reversal but she felt good. It felt reassuring.
"G'night Yang," Ruby said softly, her face buried in her sister's golden locks.
"Night Ruby," Yang returned contentedly.
"I love you."
"I love you too sis."
It would be the most peaceful sleep either of them had in the last few months with no nightmares coming to torment them. There was just the love and warmth that they had for one another and no nightmare was strong enough to intrude upon that.
Thanks for reading. Please be so kind as to leave a review and while you're hanging around her why not check out my other stories.