It had been a long time since I had seen her, a long time. Not since my mother's funeral, which is ironic since the reason I'm seeing her again is for her mother's funeral. I wonder what she looks like? Did she keep her long hair? Is she the same ditzy air head that I knew from when we were younger? I knew she relied so much on her mother, she was all she had. They had only each other and now that her mother's gone what is she going to do? I remember when my mother died it almost broke me, tore a piece of my heart out.

I can't imagine how it must feel for her. Her mother being the only thing she had left. Her father died when she was three. I only have a few distant memories of him, same with her barely remembering her father. I don't know how she's going to react at her mother's funeral. I had broken down at mine but she had always been the more cheerful one between us. The one who could always bounce back better. I hope that she doesn't fall, fall into the darkness of loneliness and emptiness and if she does I will be the one to catch her. I will not let her deal with this alone, what kind of person would I be? I'm planning on staying with her until she's better, my father already knows this and of course he supports me. Why wouldn't he? He loves her like she was his second-daughter. Which she practically was when we were younger. She and I were sisters not in looks or blood but in our souls we knew we were.

I don't remember when we first met, it was probably when we were really little. All I remember is growing up with her. We were inseparable. We were like each others shadow. We never wanted to leave each other. But that all changed the day my mom died. I was already 6 and she was almost, she had two weeks to go. We had been playing in the backyard at her house- her mother watching us with a smile. The doorbell had wrung and then there was pounding at the door. Her mother went to it with frown wondering what was going on. She and I kept on playing. When her mother came back her face was pale and stricken, she walked towards me and I felt a sense of dread. She bent down and looked at me her voice cracked as she started talking.

" Haruhi...your mother...she...she..."

Her mother didn't have to continue, I knew my mother had been sick for a long time and that most believed she wasn't going to make it...and I guess that was just what had happened. My mother had died. I felt strangely empty and couldn't quite understand. My mother had died. What did it mean, she died. I don't understand, what did dying mean? It meant...it meant she couldn't talk to me anymore. She wouldn't be able to look at me and smile. It meant I couldn't...I almost choked as reality started to hit me. She had died. I wouldn't ever be able to talk to her, to hug her or hear her laugh. Why? Why couldn't she have stayed? Why couldn't she have just kept on living? Why did it have to be her? She's my mother - I can't live without her. I can't.

Those thoughts and many more passed quickly through my mind and I started to cry. Her mother hugged me and she looked confused but hugged me also. I couldn't feel their touches, I couldn't feel anything except the coldness that crept into my heart, the cold bitterness that seeped through my bones and suddenly it seemed funny. I started with a chuckle then a giggle and then pretty soon I was laughing. The laughing quickly turned into hysteria and then I was crying again. My emotions were so confused and crooked that I couldn't even tell you what I was feeling anymore. It was too much, too much. Everything all the sudden was too much. Like it was squeezing me. I couldn't handle anything. The hugs that I hadn't felt before now felt like a snakes grip. It was all too overwhelming. I started to panic, my breathing hitched and I started squirming.

Get off, get off, get off, get off, get off of me!

Those words soon took up my mind and it was all I could think about. I broke out of the hug and ran into the house for the front door. I had to get out of here. I have to leave. I ran down the street not entirely sure where I was running but I knew I had to go. I heard her yell my name but I was gone, there was no way I was ever going back. I was gone.

Thinking back to it was a little embarrassing but I couldn't but wonder if that happened to her too when her mother died.

I remember when I ran away my dad went looking for me. They didn't find me till the next day. The police had found me passed out on the side of a road towards the end of town. They brought me back and I stayed in my bed for the rest of the day silent. I think it was several days before I talked again. We had mom's funeral and my dad told me we were moving. I would have normally felt very sad and angry that I was moving away from her but my heart was cold and I didn't feel anything. The first words I had spoken to her in a very long time were "Good bye" and the last words from her were calling out my name as I left. It was sad. Many months went by before I slowly went back to normal except I wasn't normal. My childhood innocence was gone and I became cold. I became different. I was like that for a long time before I got a slap in the face...by myself. I didn't really care for any of my classmates. Sure I had a few friends but none were close. It was around when I was 9 almost three years later that one of my 'friends' parents had died. She became a baby and was always crying at the littlest things. It got really annoying. I got so irritated and mad that one day I just snapped.

4 years ago, at Haruhi's elementary school

I slapped her. Hard. She started at me wide-eyed with tears still on her face.

"Will you stop crying already? It's annoying! Do you honestly think that anything is going to happen if you keep crying all your life? Think about your mom? Huh? Do you think she wants you to cry the rest of your life? Acting like this what would she say!? She'd want you to be strong! She would want you to be happy! But here you are acting like a 2 year old who's toy got taken away!"

She stared at me and started looking ashamed, I turned around and started walking away when-

" Well what about your mom!? I know she died too! Would she want you always acting like a cold-hearted princess! Acting like everyone is beneath you! Turning your nose up at everyone who looks your way! And what about your dad! I I bet your mean to him too! Maybe he was just as affected by your mom's death as you were!"

I had turned around and look at her while she was yelling at me. She was right...My mom had never wanted me like this, refusing peoples offers of comfort and ignoring everyone even my dad. I had grown cold, really cold and had isolated myself and I still hadn't gotten better 3 years later. What was wrong with me?

The girl still stared at me waiting, I looked back at her.

" You were...right. My mother never would have wanted this. She would never have wanted me to become like this."

My voice sounded bitter, and my throat burned. I felt hot tears gathering in my eyes from all the emotions I never let go.

" You were also right, and I'm sorry for yelling at you but I couldn't stand you scolding me for the exact same thing you were doing."

We shared a look, a look with teary eyes and a hidden want for comfort that both had never got. We hugged each other and tears would not stop themselves from falling. I was glad I confronted her after school in a secluded area or else this would have been embarrassing.

Back to now

Looking back I'm glad that happened, the girl(her name Kia) and I became good friends but in our last year of middle school she moved to America. I was sad she was gone but we often sent each other letters. My last letter was telling telling her that I was coming here and that I wouldn't be able to talk to her for a while.

There was a distant sound of someone talking on the intercom and I looked up, the train my father and I were riding on had reached our stop and it was time to get off. I picked my bags and my dad grabbed his and we got off. My dad looked at me and smiled.

" Are you ready Haruhi?" I smiled back at him.

"Im ready dad."

" Then let's go!"

And we set off to to see my sweet, kind goofy little sister Tohru.

The end