This is rated PG, for snogging, yaoi, and blackmail.
is lacking in the Albus/Scorpius department, so I am contributing.
That is all.

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"Rose, what exactly do you mean because you are talking like this without pausing for a breath and your words are jumbling together and I have no clue what you're trying to say so could you slow down and speak plainly please?"

Rose paused and giggled at her brother's antics. "Sorry Al, but what I was trying to say is that you're in danger of losing
your boyfriend."

Albus scoffed and went back to his textbook. "I thought it was actually something serious." Rose frowned. "You didn't let me finish. Molly has been all over him, don't act like you haven't noticed: every time she comes by you practically snarl at her."

Albus sniffed and forced the scowl off his face as Rose continued. "Well now she's basically in his lap and I overheard her saying she's going to turn him from bi to straight and you know he says if he wasn't with you he'd be with her."

Rose finished and watched as Albus sat his book down, carefully marking his page, and stood up. "If you'll excuse me, I need to go remind my boyfriend that he's with me and not that hussy. Stay here."
Rose stifled a grin as she watched her brother go down to the common room. She waited until she was sure he was off the stairs before creeping down and sticking her head around the corner.

The sight that greeted her was almost humorous.

Scorpius was sitting on the couch with a slightly nauseous expression on his face and Molly was straddling his lap.

Albus was standing beside the couch with a single eyebrow raised and the rest of the students were in strategic positions so that when things started flying they wouldn't get hit. "Scorpius?" Scorpius looked up and blinked innocently.

"I am sure you have an explanation for why this girl is on your lap and your hands are up her shirt." Rose blinked. She couldn't see THAT from the staircase. "Actually Albus, I can. She came onto me."
Molly chose this time to speak up.

"It's time Scorpius knew his other choices Albus. I mean he obviously doesn't if he's with you, and he seems to enjoying himself." Albus' eyebrow rose, if possible, even more. "Does he now?" he asked conversationally, and Rose was reminded of their father.

"Because he looks like he'll be sick to me." Molly smirked up at him before leaning down and grabbing Scorpius' lips with hers.

Albus paused all of three seconds before reaching down and grabbing her by her hair. As Molly screamed bloody murder Albus dragged her to the portrait hole and pushed her out. Still the picture of calm he walked back and stood before a nervous Scorpius.

"You know something Scorpius?" Albus asked, and Molly shivered as his voice dropped from warm and welcoming to icy cold. "She might be more than a mild annoyance if I didn't have something that she doesn't."

He turned away from Scorpius, who by now was trying to sink into the cushions, and walked back into his dorm without another word.

Breakfast the next day was tense. When one's cousin tries to steal one's boyfriend – and one's boyfriend seems to be enjoying it- things naturally are uncomfortable.

Therefore breakfast consisted of Scorpius trying to suck up to Albus and Albus pretending nothing was wrong. Lunch followed much the same way, though halfway through Scorpius settled to sulking.

Dinner though was the event every child in Hogwarts wrote home about.

Rose tried to stop Albus from coming into the Great Hall she really did. But if anyone knows her brother they know when he decides something he won't be stopped.

So it was with horror and only slight anticipation Rose watched him swing the doors open and freeze.

James wasn't sure what to do. He was as frozen as Albus as his eyes flickered from one scene to the other.

Albus' face really was priceless, but watching as Molly acted coy and reached up to kiss Scorpius was much more entertaining. It was several seconds before he realized Albus had moved from the door and was standing beside him, holding out a protesting Rose.

"Cover her eyes." He said, pushing Rose into James' lap. James gulped and looked up. "Where are you going?" Albus smirked and James decided he had never been more proud. "To remind my boyfriend why he's with me." He strode off and reached the pair.

Without dropping his stride he flung Molly off and took her position, straddling Scorpius hips. With a wicked grin he grabbed the blonds' hair and pulled him against him for a very possessive kiss. James was vaguely aware of a squealing Rose beside him and the fact he hadn't turned her away before Albus pulled away.

"You are mine." He told the dazed Scorpius, who nodded with glazed eyes. Albus stood up, tugging Scorpius up behind him. "This belongs to me. I am very possessive of what is mine. Do. Not. Touch."

He spun around and walked out, leaving complete silence that was only broken by Molly squealing. She turned to Rose as she stood up gingerly and the two girls shared a grin. "I told you it would work." Rose smirked at her cousin and held up the camera. "Any buyers?"

As Rose and Molly were swamped by students, James decided he had one amazing family.

Then he stood up and joined the mob of students, deciding if praise or punishment were in order. Grinning, he pushed his way to the front of the crowd and watched as both girls gulped.

With a wink and then a 'you are so dead' motion, he walked off whistling and anticipating what the girls would give him for bribery.

Yes, he was very proud of his family: it seemed they finally decided to use what he taught them.

With a short laugh he went to owl his Uncle. After all, Uncle George deserved to know they had successfully swindled Uncle Ron out of quite a sum of money. James was still laughing as he imagined the look on his Uncle's face hours later.

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I. Have. No. Clue. It pounced on me one day and wouldn't let go.
James has always seemed like the trickster to me and the one most likely to bond with George.
I found it amusing, I honestly did. I giggled through writing it.