Author's Note: Do you know that horrible writer's rut you have every once in a while? When everything you write feels repetitive and dull? When it takes you ages just to finish a single paragraph? This story, unfortunately, was written during one of these ruts, which I'm still having right now. Although I tried to squeeze accurate history into this story as much as I could, at the end of the day, this is pure crossover AU madness. So, naturally, nothing makes sense. Please forgive me!
A tiny warning: Peggy and Jyn do some shooting at the gun range in this. So if you're uncomfortable with guns, turn back now!
Reviews are (almost) better than feeling like a competent writer again. So please be kind, throw me a bone, and leave one if you can.
Now…go set Europe ablaze!
Winston Churchill, on the creation of the Special Operations Executive (SOE)
Women, as you must know, have a far greater capacity for cool and lonely courage than men.
Captain Selwyn Jepson, recruiter for the SOE
June, 1943
Arisag House, Inverness-shire, Scotland - Paramilitary School
A sample of notes from various instructors regarding student Miss Jyn Erso
Student does not shy away from fieldcraft and is surprisingly comfortable in rugged terrains. Physical training and exercise do not phase her; student is in very good shape. Very adept at map reading, compass work and knows her way around a campsite. Can build a fire, put up a tent quickly, and follow trail marks. She obviously has had experience living outdoors for long stretches of time, although I can't imagine where. Student might not have the decorum of a lady, but has more pluck than most men I know.
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Student already knows Morse Code and makes no point of hiding the fact in lessons. I almost had an altercation with her when she corrected me in front of the entire class. I challenged her to give a demonstration and she happily obliged. Needless to say, she made me look a fool. I do not think the humiliation was at all necessary.
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Student handles weapons exceedingly well, particularly the Colt. 45. Can also handle the .38 and the Sten gun, but she regards the latter as unreliable. Does well with moving targets and has no qualms about using the Double Tap system, unlike most other recruits. Her knife-skills aren't as good, but she can hold her own. Today, at the shooting range, I caught her whispering to a fellow student while I was providing instructions for the test. Turned out student was giving her friend help on how best to grip a gun. Impertinent wench.
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Student is deadly at close combat and silent killing. Even Fairbairn and Sykes expressed amazement and gave her a chance at trying out their commando knife. Too bad student can't fist-fight us through Europe and take us all the way to Berlin. But although effective, her style is somewhat unorthodox. She trusts her intuition more than instructions. When I questioned her about it, she challenged anyone who was present to a fight. Even though no one took her up on her offer, it shows she is prone to recklessness and short bursts of anger. A shame.
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Student is gifted at sabotage and has a good sense of strategy. Very creative with attack plans and nerveless with explosives. She is not conservative in the slightest in her methods, which has led to some missions being jeopardised. Like with her fighting style, she can be rash and emotionally-charged. But student is a natural leader. Other students follow her, and when a mission goes south, she is always the first to take the blame. Still, student tends to keep herself to herself. She is friendly enough, but never confides. She does not always manage male admirers well. She is passionate and ardent about the cause, but prefers not to discuss it in detail. I get the sense that it is rather too personal.
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Student is definitely talented, but unpredictable. Gifted, but also dangerous. Would be a waste if she is not deployed, but I don't quite know what to make of her contradictions. For the life of me, I cannot decide if she would help or hinder our cause. The girl is a damn conundrum if I ever saw one.
The woman finally approaches Jyn at lunch on Thursday afternoon.
Jyn thinks it is about time. The woman has been skulking around the place for two days now, ever since she showed up at Arisag House sometime in the middle of Monday night. No. Wrong choice of word, actually. The woman does not skulk. Rather, she stands and observes, quietly and intently, as though she is doing them a bloody favour and not at all apologetic about her sudden presence. More admiringly, her uniform (no badges) appears impeccably uncreased, and even in the moors of Inverness-shire, she has taken the time to apply lipstick and style her hair. Jyn could only dream of her own hair curling in such a way.
The woman sticks out a hand as Jyn is taking a bite of sausage.
"Jyn Erso?"
The name might be phrased as a question, but it is definitely not one. Jyn can only chew on her sausage and swallow it down with difficulty.
The woman's hand flinches with impatience.
"May I take a seat, Miss Erso?"
"By all means," Jyn says. Because what else can she say? No? It is pretty obvious that she does not have much choice in the matter; the woman has a determined glint in her eyes which brooks no argument.
"I'm pleased to finally make your acquaintance, Miss Erso," says the woman, taking a seat at the empty table. "My name is Agent Carter. I am here from London to evaluate your progress."
An agent? They hardly get agents at Arisag House, let alone ones from London who has come north specifically to evaluate Jyn's progress. Jyn frowns, her meal all but forgotten; the fear she has been dwelling on for months is rising to the surface.
"Forgive my ignorance, ma'am. Evaluate my progress? Does this mean I am being sent to the 'cooler'?"
The 'cooler' is where candidates who are deemed 'unsuitable' for the SOE are sent. There is a rumour that it is not a prison, per say, but a place where these ex-candidates are encouraged to forget about what they have learned during the course of their failed training. For Jyn, this sounds like an absolute nightmare. The only thing worse than failing is being made to forget that you have failed.
"Do not worry, Miss Erso," says Agent Carter. "I am not here to send you packing. I am here at the request of one of your instructors."
Jyn's gaze quickly travels to the officers' table. It is not hard to miss who she is looking for. Captain Cassian Andor, with his height and darker complexion, immediately draws her eye. He is not looking her way, of course, but is drinking tea while looking mildly interested in his plate of rationed food. The smug bastard.
"And which instructor would that be?" Jyn asks, failing to keep the bite away from her tone.
Agent Carter smiles a little mischievously. "Oh, I can't possibly say."
"Am I in trouble, ma'am?"
"No, you're not, Miss Erso."
"But you have been watching me train."
"That I have." Agent Carter offers another friendly smile. "You would have given me a run for my money."
Jyn, despite being a little wary, finds herself feeling rather proud. "Are you here to offer me your opinion on my skills, ma'am?"
"Of sorts. Well, I was hoping we could have more of a conversation, Miss Erso. I do love a good conversation."
"Over tea, I hope?"
"Of course. But perhaps somewhere more discreet."
It turns out 'somewhere more discreet' is Cassian Andor's office. Jyn, who has been there only once (to yell at Cassian about a failed training mission and got yelled back in return), lets Agent Carter lead her there. Obviously, this is not the woman's first trip to Arisag House. It is beginning to rain outside (it always rains here) when Agent Carter takes Cassian's seat behind the desk and Jyn pours them both tea.
Agent Carter begins rather bluntly, opening a file that is on Cassian's desk.
"Miss Erso, I see you were recruited by Captain Jepson and Captain Andor because of your fluent French and your time with Saw Gerrera in France."
Jyn flinches; her childhood and adolescence are still topics she would rather not discuss if she could help it.
"I'm sure those were…important factors in my recruitment, ma'am."
"Of course, I do not wish to pry into your personal life, Miss Erso," remarks Agent Carter, not unkindly, "but you must see how it is relevant."
Jyn drinks some more tea and lets silence descend. So this is character evaluation. Jyn has expected it, of course. But not from a female agent who has been specifically called up from London. Something is amiss here. But she cannot quite put a finger on it.
Agent Carter flips over to another page in Jyn's file.
"Your parents."
"What about them?"
"Are you doing this for them, Miss Erso?"
It is a very personal question, and judging from Agent Carter's pinched expression, she knows it too. Jyn bristles a little, but her answer is firm.
"I'm doing this because I want us to win the war, ma'am, and not the other lot. You give way to an enemy this evil with this much power and you condemn the entire world to an eternity of submission."
The corners of Agent Carter's mouth twitch. She seems impressed enough with the answer as she flips to another page. And then, after a short, contemplating moment, she says, "If you would indulge me, Miss Erso, I would like to play a game with you."
"A game?"
"Yes, I'm not too fond of games myself," says Agent Carter, smiling kindly, "but this one is simple enough. I give you a word and you tell me the first thing that pops into your mind."
Jyn's brows lifted, the sarcasm hardly masked. "Word association? Really?"
"I know. It is a bit prosaic. But, unfortunately, I do not make the rules."
Jyn shrugs. "I don't have a choice, do I?"
"I'm afraid not."
"Alright then," says Jyn, sighing.
There is silence as Agent Carter takes a sip of tea. Then -
"England."
"Country," Jyn answers immediately.
"Parachute."
"Safety."
"Weapon."
Jyn pauses, almost imperceptibly. "Self."
"Espionage."
"Necessary."
A brief look of fascination crosses Agent Carter's features before she continues. "Bird."
"Escape."
"Freedom."
This one is easy. "Pain."
"Family."
Again. Easy. "Gone."
"Gun."
"Justice."
This time, it is Agent Carter who pauses. "Anger?"
"Blood."
"Love?"
"Hope."
"Memory."
Jyn's voice barely shakes. "France."
Agent Carter gives her a stern nod. "I see you're pretty straightforward with your answers, Miss Erso."
"I didn't think they were answers, ma'am. Just words."
"Of course they were answers." Agent Carter flips to another page. "And it is one of your defining qualities, Miss Erso. Your bluntness. I see it in the way you fight, the way you talk, even in the way you handle weapons. It is a good quality to have and I admire it immensely. Like here." She lifts the file up slightly, nodding at the open page. "Here's my favourite note about you. From your parachute training instructor at Ringway. The student, and this is a direct quote, 'does nothing by half-measures and was visibly eager to jump out of an airplane'."
Jyn does not know quite how to respond. Is she supposed to smile along? Say thank you? Fortunately, Agent Carter does not wait for her reaction and ploughs on.
"You have bravery in spades, Miss Erso. And skills. But your file also says you're…prone to recklessness?"
"Sometimes I don't plan things beforehand," Jyn admits, rather sheepishly. "I rely on my instincts."
"You can also be…volatile?" Agent Carter's eyes continue scanning the page. "Several times, your instructors have described you as 'angry'? 'Always furious'? 'Uncontrollable?'"
"I am not uncontrollable!"
"There's an incident which occurred on one of your days-off. You…nearly punched a Private at a local pub?" Jyn feels the heat rush to her face, but Agent Carter continues calmly. "One of your instructors was at the scene so he intervened just in time. He's the one who recorded the incident in your file. To quote him, he almost had to…" - Agent Carter's eyes twinkle at Jyn before she reads aloud - "…'hurl you over his shoulder and physically drag you away from the scene'?"
"That instructor," Jyn says through gritted teeth, "is an infuriating, pig-headed arsehole."
An arsehole who also didn't bother to inform her that she would be evaluated by a special agent from London. Jyn thought that she and Cassian Andor were….not friends, exactly. (Can one even be friends with one's commanding officer-slash-instructor?) But she thought that there had been…an understanding of sorts there. Enough to warrant a warning, at least.
"Ah. I've had experiences with infuriating, pig-headed commanding officers myself," Agent Carter remarks idly. "But none who looks like that."
"I'm not sure what you mean, ma'am." And to stop Agent Carter from pursuing the matter further, she asks, "What about you, ma'am? Do you think I should not progress in my training because I am always furious?"
"Oh, absolutely not!" Agent Carter snaps the file shut and tosses it down on the table. She takes a quick sip of tea before continuing. "If it were up to me, you'd already be on your way to Hampshire, to join the Finishing School at Beaulieu."
"But?"
"But it is not up to me, Miss Erso. I am here merely to add my opinion to the pile. Someone deems it invaluable, funnily enough."
"Ma'am?"
"You must know that there has been…concern from a few of your instructors in regards to your reckless nature. They do not think you should move on to the next stage of your training." Upon recognising the hurt that flashes through Jyn's expression, Agent Carter quickly says, "Not all of your instructors think this way, of course. But some do."
"If I were a man, would my…recklessness be such a concern?"
"Not so much that it would hinder your advancement, no." Agent Carter sighs. "It's bloody unfair, of course. But that's how it is."
"Have I any hope?"
"Of course you do. As I've said, you're brave. Smart. Selfless. They'd be bloody lucky to have you."
"I'm sensing another 'but' here, ma'am."
"But…with your less than conservative approach to things…I'm not going to recommend you for spy work, Miss Erso."
Jyn hesitates. "I'm not quite sure what that means, ma'am."
Agent Carter does not look displeased. Simply amused. "It means your qualities do not lend themselves to spy craft, Miss Erso. You're not a very good liar, for one, and I know this just from having one conversation with you. I'm afraid you would make a terrible spy. But judging from your expression, I suppose you think this is not necessarily a bad thing?"
"I'm not particularly fond of spies," Jyn mutters.
Agent Carter lets out a chuckle. "Who is? You might not be spy-material, Miss Erso, but your qualities do have their uses. Sabotage? Combat? Recruitment? These things would be right up your alley. And I reckon you already have some experience with these things, considering your particular set of skills."
Again, Jyn has no wish to discuss her past in detail; she drinks more tea.
"If you ever reached Beaulieu - and you will if I have anything to do with it - I would recommend that you take lock-picking lessons there," Agent Carter continues excitedly. "Being a skilled cracksman will give you certain advantages in the field. Perhaps something to do with engines as well? It is always handy to know how to steal a car."
"Will I be sent to France if I pass my training?"
Agent Carter hesitates a little. "That would be the mostly likely destination for you, yes."
Jyn lets out the breath she did not realise she has been holding. "Thank you, Agent Carter."
"You're very welcome, Miss Erso. And it's Peggy."
"Peggy," says Jyn, smiling. "And please call me Jyn."
Peggy inclines her head. "It is a pleasure to meet you, Jyn."
Peggy Carter's shooting stance is, of course, flawless.
If a photograph were to be taken of it, it could even be used in their training manual. There is also no mistaking the intention behind the way she grips her weapon: not for self-defence, but solely for attack. She and Jyn are at the shooting range, and they have been here for almost two hours now, ever since their conversation in Cassian's office had finished. Outside, the rain continues to fall steadily.
Peggy is lowering her third gun - a Walther PPK/S - when Jyn notices how the middle of the target board is punctured by a litany of bullets. Every shot had been dead to centre. It was impressive the first time two hours ago, but it is even more impressive now.
"Marvellous, Peggy!" Jyn exclaims with awe.
"Come now, Jyn, I've seen you shoot," Peggy says modestly, emptying the magazine. "You're a damn good shot yourself."
"Yes, but you're definitely much better than I am. I'm only half-decent with a Walther," Jyn remarks wistfully. She begins to load the SOE's standard .Colt 45. "Guns have their uses, but I prefer truncheons, actually. It is a shame we are not being trained and issued with truncheons."
"Truncheons? How peculiar!"
"I'm comfortable with guns, but that's only because I've been around them all my life." Jyn lifts the Colt and takes aim. "I still prefer hand-to-hand combat."
"So I've noticed."
Jyn pulls the trigger once. Twice. Thrice. The result is nearly as perfect as Peggy's. But Jyn hardly notices and she sighs when she lowers her weapon. She knows she is not supposed to ask, but she does anyway.
"Peggy, this has been fun, but…I need to know something."
Peggy is in the process of taking a Luger out of her case. She halts and looks over at Jyn, frowning. "Yes?"
"The instructors who do not want me to progress in my training. Is one of them…Cassian Andor?"
This is when Jyn's opinion of Peggy rises even higher. Instead of looking at her with real smugness, Peggy offers her a small, kind smile instead.
"Of course not, Jyn. To tell you the truth…it is Cassian Andor who asked me to come and observe your progress. He hopes that I might be able to help you improve or that my recommendation could sway other people's opinions in your favour. He's a good man, Cassian Andor, despite his faults. Maybe even a sentimentalist at heart. But unfortunately," Peggy sighs, not even attempting to shoot the Luger anymore, "when it comes to the real gang of infuriating, pig-headed arseholes who run the show, I don't know how much help I'd be."
"I didn't know Cassian has…friends who are not Instructor James Kay," Jyn remarks dryly.
"Oh, we aren't friends," Peggy corrects her sharply. "I'm not sure Andor has many friends. In '40, I was undercover in Germany. So was he. That's how we met. I found myself in a tight spot and he helped me out. I owe him a favour ever since. Bloody inconvenient, if you ask me."
"So this. Evaluating my progress. This is your favour to him?"
"Yes, it is."
Jyn is not sure why, but the information nearly makes her blush scarlet. She wants to pickup the loaded Colt again and fire some more shots to diffuse the tension. But before she can do so, Peggy tells her rather seriously.
"Jyn, listen, you're going to be marvellous. Believe me. Andor and I are going to do our damnedest to prepare you and get you deployed."
"Thank you, Peggy. That means a lot coming from you."
"Dream of France, Jyn. They will need you, more than they realise."
Jyn cracks a tiny smile. "Perhaps we'll meet on the continent then?"
"Not any time soon, I'm afraid. I'm being sent to America to train a bunch of wimpy boys. The brass wants me to help turn them into…" - Peggy rolls her eyes - "…men who can escort Adolf Hitler to the gates of hell."
Jyn's eyes narrow at her new-found friend. "Come to think of it, you never told me which unit you're with."
"Just trust me when I say - you wouldn't believe me if I did."
After she said farewell to Peggy, Jyn decides to seek out Cassian.
She finds him training a group of new recruits in the moors, with only one other instructor (not James Kay) barking orders not too far from him. The students are crawling through barbed wires, their faces and uniforms smeared with mud and rain. The poor souls.
Unlike his fellow instructor, Cassian is silent. He stands, arms crossed, his eyes sweeping over the students with a serious expression swirling in them. His mouth is one thin line of determination and disapproval. The sight brings a reluctant smile to Jyn's lips; she has long ago reconciled herself to the fact that she finds Cassian's seriousness endearing as well as incredibly irritating.
But of course, Cassian can be hard to read when he wants to be. Cold, sometimes. Even distant. Every time Jyn thinks she has him figured out, he slips through her fingers again, disappearing into his own world where she cannot quite follow. This business with Peggy Carter is definitely one of these instances.
"Has anyone thrown up yet?" Jyn says to him in way of greeting.
Cassian barely glances at her. "Erso."
"That blonde girl is barely moving, Captain. Are you sure she's not dead?"
"That girl was a swimming champion at Oxford, Erso. I assure you - she is alive."
Jyn shrugs. "I don't know, Captain. She's really trailing behind."
"Henderson is doing far worse."
"Henderson has a sprained ankle."
"Henderson is lazy."
"No, Henderson simply needs time to adjust to the physical demands. While the blonde one…" - Jyn wrinkles her nose - "…the blonde one needs a personality transplant."
Cassian sighs. "You're supposed to be at the shooting range."
"I decided to let other people have a go. It is not like I require anymore practice."
Cassian sighs again. "Do you need something from me, Erso? Or are you just going to stand here and insult my recruits?"
There is a short, quiet moment as she simply studies him. He looks very weary. Almost sleep-deprived. Deep, dark circles are visible beneath his eyes.
"Peggy told me what you did," Jyn says eventually. "That it was you who asked for her opinion on my progress."
Cassian winces, but the action is so tiny, Jyn almost misses it.
"My question is…why?" Jyn asks.
"Why?"
"Why do you need Peggy's input? Don't you trust your own judgement?"
Cassian mutters something in Spanish under his breath - something she does not understand. Eventually, he tells her quietly, "You might have already heard the leaks from somewhere. About how things have been…going wrong for us in France lately. Some of our operatives have been rounded up. Captured, tortured, or worse."
"I don't see what this has to - "
"Jyn, I don't want that to happen to you." His shoulders tense and she notices how his jaws are clenching painfully. "We need you - I need you to be ready. Truly ready. And Carter can help. Because if anything were to happen to you…I wouldn't be able to…"
"Cassian, I don't understand - "
He rushes on like he cannot stop himself. "I needed a second opinion from someone I can trust, because when it comes to you, I find I might be biased."
Biased?
Does he mean what I think he means?
Bloody hell, maybe she should return to the shooting range. This warm, awkward feeling that's dancing in her stomach…well, it might disappear entirely after she has fired a few rounds with the Luger Peggy had left for her. (At least, for all their sakes, she hopes it will.)
The silence between them is as thick as the noise of the rain, beating down on the heavy, wet earth. When Jyn speaks again, her voice sounds incredibly pathetic to her own ears.
"I thought - I thought you hated me."
"I don't hate you." Cassian's eyes flicker to hers for one brief moment before he looks away again. Then, in a much lower tone: "I believe in you. Some would say far too much."
Oh.
The rain continues to fall. It is plastering his fringe to his forehead. He blinks, chasing the droplets away from his dark, calculating eyes. And Jyn wants nothing more than to reach out and touch him. Just a touch. Even a light one on his arm or on his shoulder. Just to let him know how much his words mean to her. How much they have changed everything.
"Thank you," Jyn ends up saying instead.
"You're very welcome." Cassian turns his body toward hers for just a tiny fraction. "And you're right. The blonde does need a personality transplant."
"Of course she does."
"And I'll try and give Henderson another chance."
"Good. She won't let you down."
"I'll hold you to that."
A beat. Then, rather quietly, Jyn says, "I'll try not to let you down either."
Cassian's lips curve into something close to a smile. "Oh, I don't think that's possible."
Yes. Very biased indeed.
Dear Peg -(STOP)- Made progress -(STOP)- Enjoying the Luger -(STOP)- Hope America is treating you well -(STOP)- Thank you for everything -(STOP)- J.
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Author's Note: Although the sexist vibes from the SOE notes are not entirely inaccurate, I took major liberties with how they grant advancement to students. The word association game, for example, was inspired by a scene from Skyfall (because I am desperate) and not from a real SOE procedure. Now, onto the real history:
- The Special Operations Executive (SOE) was officially formed on 22 July 1940 to conduct espionage, sabotage and reconnaissance against the Axis Powers. The F Section, which operated in France, had a recruiter named Captain Selwyn Jepson. In preparation for D-Day, F-Section dropped many operatives into occupied France, many of whom were women recruited by Jepson.
- Training for an SOE operative consisted of four stages:
(1) Basic assessment of the candidate's character and potential.
(2) Paramilitary school based mainly in Scotland, such as in Arisag House in Inverness-shire. This is where Jyn is. There, students underwent physical training, combat, demolitions, signalling, weapons handling etc.
(3) Parachute training at an RAF base in Ringway, Manchester.
(4) Beaulieu Finishing School - Students were taught how to maintain their cover, how to communicate in the field, and how to act under surveillance/arrest. There were also specialist schools that taught lock-picking, burglary, engines demolition etc.
- Cassian's mention of things 'going wrong' in France refers to a network of SOE spies called "Prosper" that was heavily compromised. The SOE was unaware at first and kept sending operatives to the network after it had been controlled by the Nazis. Many operatives belonging to the Prosper network were tortured or executed.
- Fairbairn and Sykes are William Fairbairn and Eric Anthony Sykes, two ex-Shanghai municipal police officers who taught hand-to-hand combat and silent killing at Arisag House. They later moved to Camp X, a spy school in Ontario, Canada. Their knife was a double-edged fighting knife issued to many British commandos and to some units that landed in Normandy.
- Students at paramilitary school were trained with the Colt .45, the Colt .38, and the Sten gun. The Double Tap system, specific to the SOE, required operatives to always fire two shots to be certain of hitting their target. The Luger is, of course, a German pistol.
- Extensive research (I'm being sarcastic here) of the MCU Wiki showed me that Peggy started her work with Operation Rebirth in June 1943. The undercover mission I had her mention is when she infiltrated a German castle and freed Dr. Erskine in 1940. Cassian is, of course, not really a part of this at all. The Walther PPK/S is also one of the guns Peggy uses in Captain America andAgent Carter.
...
Yup. Hopefully I did these characters justice and you guys had fun reading this? *sighs* PLEASE let me know what you thought!