Our hands are everywhere at once. His full weight is on top of my body yearning to be touching skin instead of clothing. He is kissing butterfly kisses down my neck as I try to remember how to breathe. I push my hands under his shirt trying to find skin, but I cannot feel enough. He sucks at my pulse point causing me to arch into him, causing him growl.
I untangle my arms free from under his shirt and slide them down to take the blasted material off of him. My fingers feel like ice compared to his scorching body. I scratch my nails down his back and feel him arch into me. He somehow gets my corset loosened and sits up to straddle my hips. I groan from the lack of contact and reach up to bring him back to me. He smirks and just runs his fingers under my back and into the inside of my corset. The feel of his warm fingers against my back causes me to lean forward. His hands are not just resting against my skin anymore, but they are bringing my body up to his.
"Why do you vex me so?" I whisper to him as he pulls his hands away, causing me to fall back towards the bed.
"I do not..." he leaves the statement open.
And that is it.
I am awake on my bed, panting, with an aching between my legs. These dreams, nightmares almost, seem to get worse the longer I do not see Kartik. It has been exactly 3 weeks since he left with Ithal, a gypsy, to the village. It is a 20 day journey, but… I just miss him; even though it is wrong of me to. I know it is only one day past the average days of travel, but I can not help but worry.
Whenever I look out the window and see the gypsy wokers I cannot help but think of him. Whenever I see the horses he tended for I cannot help but think of him. And, whenever I lay down in my bed I cannot help but think of him. He seems to be everywhere at once, yet no where to be seen. It is rather nerve-wrecking, and there is nothing I can do to stop it. To top off the worries, there are these nightmarish dreams I have of him every night.
At first the dreams were just far away glances and the occasional hand graze. Then the dreams brought our lips together, gently and lovingly, though that did not last long. The next set of dreams brought our bodies together pushing against each other, trying to grasp skin. This dream... this dream was the first one I was enabled to touch skin, as was he. As well, it was the first dream we ever used our voices, yet you would not be able to tell they were our voices. They were so raspy and breathy, nothing like our normal selves.
Though, I have not seen him in so long, maybe his voice has changed. I sigh as I sit up in my bed, thinking of how much I long for Kartik. For his touch, yes, but also for his company. He does keep me well entertained, as I hope I do for him. Just being in his presence causes me to get goose bumps and put off my act as a higher lady in society. I am ashamed when others in society see me acting as myself, for I know I have disgraced Grandmother's family name. But I do not care for society when I am with Kartik, I do not care for anything other than him and myself.
Again, it is rather nerve-wrecking to think an Indian Order guardian/horse tender has such a hold on me. When I first saw him in the market, while I was with my mother, he stood out like a good sore thumb. I know, I know, that just does not make sense. But the first time I saw him I knew he was someone, and I knew he was gorgeous. Then when he tackled me in the chapel, and all the other times, I just kept falling harder and harder for him. He is not only amazingly easy on the eyes, but he is smart, intelligent, and loyal. I know I can tell him anything and he will not judge, at least not anymore, and I know he will tell me what he really thinks of the situation.
Being the ridiculously emotional girl that I am, I grew a bond with Kartik, and therefore went to look for him. Sometimes I let him know I was there, and other times I just looked from afar.
But right now… this moment I am breathing right now, I need to forget about him and do something else…the kitchens. It is common knowledge that a woman eats when she is stressed or upset. I happen to be both.
Trying to let my feelings for Kartik go, I get up to go to the kitchens. It has to be at least 3 in the morning, so I know no one is walking around. Ms. Nightwing and Brigid have long gone to bed, so there is no one out there to worry about.
Walking past Ann, I stop and stoop down to bring her blanket up to cover her. I pull it just to her chin when I notice her arm hanging off the side. I gently grab her arm and as I'm about to put it under the covers I notice fresh marks. Sighing I wave my hand over and use the magic left in me to heal her. I dearly wish she would stop that nasty habit, but I know her life is hard. Thinking about her life, or what she has told me, causes me to feel guilty and ashamed, because I know my life it not as hard as hers. We do both have difficult lives, but in separate ways.
On my way to the kitchens I feel someone is following me. I dare not turn around because if it was a teacher they would have stopped me. I try to slow my breathing as I continue my walk. I just pass the knight statue outside Ms. Nightwing's quarters when I hear a noise. No longer feeling someone behind me, I know someone is following me, my body trembles as I push myself towards Brigid quarters instead. Knowing it is just around the next two corners I speed my walk a little, not noticeably, but enough to get a little ahead of my chaser. Though, my brief moment of safety stays brief, for I am thrown to the ground by my chaser.
"Ahh," my scream is cut short due to the hand resting over my mouth. I breathe in through my nose and smell the scent of Cinnamon and firewood. Gasping against the hand I then bite it.
My capturer releases his hold on me and rolls off. I flip around and jump up before he moves anywhere. The sight before me brings me back to my knees.
"Oh, Kartik!" I whisper excitedly. "What are you doing sneaking around in here?" He is still looking at his hand. That is when I realize I have bruised his hand, and possibly his ego.
"It is nothing." he tries to assure me, but I do not believe him. "I've been bitten worse." I know he is referring to the many times being bitten by a horse, or the several times I've bitten him.
Slipping a small grin, I stand up and offer him my hand. He grasps it and I can feel the roughness from when he worked with the horses. Though, as he stands his hand drops from mine and he looks me over. I can not help but reach out to him and embrace him in a hug. He stiffens, but only for a second, before he returns my hug.
Letting go he smiles and asks, "Why are you walking around these hallways at night? You do know it is dangerous, do you not?" The happiness I had felt before turned into cold ice.
"What ever does that mean?" I scowl. "You know very well that I can handle myself. I just protected myself against you, did I not?" I throw his words back in his face. I do not have the effect I wanted to. Instead of scowling back at me he smiled, a true genuine smile. If not for the situation I would have swooned at the sight.
"I only meant you walked right past Ms. Nightwing's office. I do not think it was wise." My eyes soften after I hear this.
"Oh." It is short and simple, but it shows my defeat. I chew on my bottom lip trying to think of something else to say.
"Well, I was headed for the kitchen… if you would like to join me?" Before I could stop myself the question came out. My eyes widening slightly, and I cannot help but blush when I see him smile at me.
"Maybe next time I pay a visit." My heart falls to my stomach. I do not realize I had been hoping he would come with me. Our meeting was so short.
"Oh." Once again that is all I can produce for a few seconds. "Well, why exactly did you make your presence known?" The question came out sharp and harsh, and I wish I could take it back.
Kartik visibly winced. "I went to your room to leave you a note, but you were not in your bed sleeping. So, I walked out your door and heard you trying to creep out the hall. I thought you were headed for the kitchens at first, but then you turned the opposite direction, towards Brigid. That was when I knew, you knew I was following you."
Laughing I said, "So you jump on me, and push me to the ground?" I cannot help but laugh even harder when he lets a couple low chuckles escape. I was right earlier, thinking his voice might have changed. It has gotten huskier and deeper. I take a small step back and look him over.
For the first time I see he has grown a few more inches and his shoulders have become broader. His hair has also reached his shoulders and seems curlier. He is not the boy I met two years ago; he is becoming a man now. If I thought he was beautiful before, he is ten times that.
"Anyways," he starts, "I have to get going. I need to settle myself in the camp again." Ah, I think, the gypsies camp. Feeling disappointed he would not spend a little more time with me, I take another step back.
"Well then." I say, leaving my statement open. "I guess I shall be going then." Kartik nods his head and takes a step back himself.
"Yes, and please stay safe." he adds smirking slightly.
Half glaring I turn my full body away from him and walk towards the kitchens. I take about 5 steps before he is behind me again. Feeling him grab my arm, my stomach feels as though it is in my throat.
"Wait," he says, "I have something for you." Laughing, he pulls out a red bandanna from his back pocket. He rips it in half and says, "Here. I'll tie this to the vine outside your window, if I ever need to talk with you. And you can tie yours if you need to talk with me." He hands me my half and I place against my heart.
"Thank you. I'm sure in time I'll have much to tell you." His head cocks to the side slightly trying to decipher what I mean. He says nothing though as he turns and walks away.
"Good night Ms. Doyle." he says and he walks away. I cannot help but try and decipher what I mean. Do I mean I will finally tell him how much and how long I have felt for him. Or do I mean I will tell him about the mess the Realms has become since he has been away?
As I forget my own thinking I look up to see Kartik is gone and out of sight. Sighing, I whisper, "Good night...Kartik."
I make my way to the kitchens to only find I am no longer hungry for food. I walk back to my room and smile as I feel the cloth he gave me rub against my hand.
That night my dreams were peaceful. Though, most believe peace is only as illusion to hide what really is to come…
A/N-Hey again, thanks for rereading or reading my story. I've posted it before, but I've rewritten some parts, and I think it is much better. I guess I'll tell by the reviews. hint hint. haha. Thanks. Oh. And I'm am writing a second chapter, which is when they admit their feelings. Awwww, how adorable. haha.