5th December 2016

Warning: Grammar errors, Spoilers, Out of Characters and Alternate Universe.

Disclaimer: Katekyou Hitman Reborn belongs to Akira Amano, but this fanfiction belongs to me.

Summary: I fell to my knees. "I can't believe it. Someone finally understands my suffering." An accompanying story of 'Love and Logic' from Tsuna's point of view.

Hi everybody, this is my next Katekyou Hitman Reborn fan fiction. This is a one-shot and in drabbles. I hope you like this story.

"intuition is always right in at least two important ways;

It is always in response to something.

it always has your best interest at heart"

Gavin de Becker, The Gift of Fear: Survival Signals That Protect Us from Violence

Love and Intuition

She laughed and looked at me adoringly. "Tsunayoshi, I had a crush on the younger you, because out of all the boys I know, he was the one with the most common sense."

I gaped at that and cried.

I fell to my knees. "I can't believe it. Someone finally understands my suffering."

I looked at her pleadingly. "Hana, will you please marry me?"

Hana looked at me in shock. "What!"

{K~H~R}

My name is Sawada Tsunayoshi, the Tenth Boss of Vongola, a mafia organization founded by my ancestor.

I used to be a useless boy, who failed at everything. Until, I got a home tutor, who changed me and my life completely, not without pains, sweats and blood on my part of course.

For 10 years of my life, I had only ever loved one woman. It began with a crush in Elementary School, which eventually turned into love.

But, who would have thought that the first woman that I am proposing to, is going to be someone else?

Reborn would have said he saw this coming, but that Reborn for you.

{K~H~R}

I remembered the first time I met her, although at the time my eyes were completely focused on Kyouko.

The first time I took notice of her was when she helped me for the first time after I tripped. She looked at me sternly, but I could see she was concerned about me. Back then, I felt so happy that someone noticed and care about me. So, I gave her my best smile.

I was so disappointed that she left before I could thank her.

Since then, I began to notice her, though, mostly because she was often seen with Kyouko. And whenever I saw her, she was always studying.

Hana is the brightest girl I know, and I have always admired her for that. She always looked so impressive to me, especially because, I was such a failure.

{K~H~R}

After Reborn came, everything became confusing. But, that time I was grateful for him for only one thing. He made me became friend with Kyouko.

It was funny if I thought about everything I did for Kyouko. I was such a naïve boy and missed out on the true woman that I really need.

Hana wasn't a part of us at the time, whether that's a good thing or not, I don't know. But, she was still a part of my life, mafia or not.

I still remember that time when she had a crush on adult Lambo. That's really messed up. Though now, I felt somewhat cheated. She supposed to have a crush on me at the time. Then again, I had a crush on Kyouko at the time. So, I guess we are even.

And really, I should have realized that Hana has always been worrying about me. After all, she was also among the one who reproached me during my fight with Mukuro. I should have tried to be her friend sooner.

{K~H~R}

The day Kyouko finally accepted me as her boyfriend was the happiest day of my life, or so I thought.

We were happy, and then Kyouko asked me to do something that will make me glad for a long time.

"Tsuna-kun, I think you should tell Hana-chan about the mafia."

I looked at her in surprise. "What! Why?"

She looked pleadingly at me. "Hana-chan is my best friend. I don't want to leave her out of it."

I frowned. "But…"

"Don't worry, Tsuna-kun. Hana-chan will keep it a secret. I am sure."

That wasn't what I worry about. I was more worry about what Hana would think about me.

When I approached her, as usual, I saw that she was studying. And she looked annoyed at me.

I gulped inwardly and told her everything that happened since Reborn came.

I looked at her intently to see her reaction. Strangely, her reaction was quite mild and she told me that she felt sorry for me.

I was surprised because no one ever felt sorry for me. I looked at her in thought. Back then, I was confused about why Hana said something like that to me. I should have known that out of all my classmates, Hana is the one who knows me the most, except for the mafia.

{K~H~R}

I never saw Hana again after we graduated from middle school because I moved to Italy after that. I was sad to leave Kyouko. I often went to Namimori to see her. And sometimes I caught sight of Hana, though she didn't seem to notice me.

Three years later, I heard that Hana was dating Ryouhei. I didn't think much about it, I am just glad that Hana was aware of the mafia.

Then three years later, Ryouhei was asking for my permission to go to Namimori.

"Do you want to visit Kyouko-chan, Onii-san?"

He looked at me sheepishly. "Actually, I want to visit Hana on her birthday."

I raised my eyebrow in question because he didn't use 'extreme'.

"So, what's different about this birthday?"

Ryouhei looked embarrassed. "I want to propose to her to the extreme."

"Oh," I said in surprise. "All right, you can go."

"Thank you, Sawada." He looked at me in relief. "And keep it a secret to the extreme."

I chuckled. "Of course, Onii-chan. And good luck."

When Ryouhei came back, he was wearing a ring. So, I congratulated him. I was happy and jealous of him because I wasn't ready to do that with Kyouko yet.

{K~H~R}

It was three years later that the nightmare began. The Millefiore attacked Vongola. We tried everything to stop them, but with the Vongola Rings destroyed, we weren't strong enough.

I began to regret my decision to destroy those rings. I should have realized that rings might have caused many conflicts, but we need that power to protect our Famiglia.

I had no choice. There was only one way left to defeat the Millefiore. We need our younger selves and their Vongola rings.

So, I prepared to die. I just hope this was enough.

{K~H~R}

After the event with the Millefiore, we got everyone back. I was so glad to see everyone that was killed came back to life, especially Reborn.

I went to Namimori as soon as I could to meet my parents and Kyouko. I was glad they were alright.

I was thankful to my younger self for ending this war.

{K~H~R}

A month later, Reborn came to see me.

"Tsuna, are you serious with Kyouko?"

"Of course, I am." I looked at him in confusion.

"Do you plan to marry her?"

"Um… Yes." I said unsurely.

"If you planned to marry her, then she is going to be the future Lady Vongola," Reborn told him seriously.

"What do you mean by that?"

"She needs to know what you're doing as a mafia boss."

I was shocked and looked at him in horror. "But, why? Tou-san never told Kaa-san about what he did? Then, why should I have to?"

"Because your father is an idiot. Do you really want to follow in his footsteps?"

I looked at Reborn grimly. If there is something I hate more than being a mafia boss, it's becoming like my father.

"Fine, I will do something," I said resignedly.

{K~H~R}

Two months later, Kyouko came to Italy. I asked her to come because I thought this was the best way to show her what I did as a mafia boss. I would come to regret this decision later.

Kyouko stayed in Vongola Headquarter for a week, and we spent that time to look around the sight in Italy. Kyouko was happy and everyone treated her carefully. I thought everything would be alright. But, I was wrong.

I was careless. When we went out together, I didn't bring anyone else to guard us. I should have known that we would be attacked. That was my own fault.

Kyouko and I went to a town, and then suddenly, we were attacked by some people. I managed to beat them easily. But, it wasn't over yet.

There was one person who was still standing, a guess the leader. He didn't look worried that all his men were down.

"Decimo, surrender to us or we will kill him." The leader said in Italian.

Then another person entered the scene. He held another person with him at gunpoint.

I know all my subordinates' faces and that person that was used as a hostage was my subordinates. I couldn't let him die.

"Decimo, please forgive me. Just let me die. Don't listen to these people." My subordinate said firmly.

I was ready to surrender when I caught the leader pointed a gun at Kyouko. I reacted instantly. I pulled out a gun that I always hid inside my clothes and shot the two persons who pointed the guns at my subordinate and Kyouko.

They died and I regretted it immediately because Kyouko had to see it.

"Please, take care of everything here," I told my subordinate.

"Yes, Decimo."

I walked back to Kyouko and realized she was in shock. I took her away from there right away.

{K~H~R}

Kyouko never looked at me the same way since that day. She still smiled, but it was hollow. And even though she still spoke to me, it looked forced. In the end, I let her be. I could only hope she got over it.

But, no, she didn't get over it. Even after she went back to Namimori, she still didn't look well. She was still the same as when she came back from Italy. So, I decided to give her some space for a while.

{K~H~R}

For almost two months, I left Kyouko alone. I didn't visit her or gave her a phone call, which I did almost every day before. I felt lonely, but I felt reluctant to visit Kyouko.

Even though I was already in Namimori. I decided to just stay at home.

Then, one day, I saw Hana for the first time after a long time.

She looked grown up, but that look she gave me was the same as I remembered.

I noticed she was staring at me intently as if she was studying me.

"Kurokawa?"

"Long times no see, Sawada."

We spoke for a while and she left. But, I felt like I just failed some kind of test.

{K~H~R}

The next day, I decided to see Hana get advice about Kyouko. Unfortunately, she couldn't help me. Still, it was nice talking to her and I found out she just broke up with Ryouhei. How did I miss that? I was probably the only one who didn't know about it.

A month later, I decided to finally make a phone call to Kyouko.

"Kyouko, how are you?" I said softly.

"I am fine." She answered.

She didn't sound fine.

"Do you have some plans this month?" I inquired curiously.

"No." She said shortly.

"That's good. I mean, I want to take you somewhere. What do you think?" I asked.

"Okay." She sounds tired.

"Okay, I will come to your house later this week."

"Okay, bye Tsu-kun."

"See you later, Kyouko."

I looked at my phone in worry. What was wrong with, Kyouko? What do I have to do?

{K~H~R}

Later that week, I came to Kyouko's house. I was excited to see her after two months. But, when I saw her looking so dead, I was surprised and at the same time, I was not. Deep down I know, I saw this coming, and I know what I should do, no matter how much I didn't want to.

I looked at her sadly. "Kyouko, I just thought that we should break up."

I saw her eyes widened a bit and I could see the relief in her eyes that broke my heart.

"Okay." She said softly, but from her tone, I could hear something else.

I smiled sadly at her and left that house. I would never think that it would be the last time I come to that house.

But, that time I only thought about one thing. Kyouko was thanking me for breaking up with her. I was so distracted with that thought that I didn't notice my tears and the direction my legs were taking me.

{K~H~R}

I finally noticed my tears after I felt it flew down my neck. I brushed them away, but they still kept falling. My tears finally stopped after I realized where I was going. I cleaned my tears again and continued to walk.

I stopped in front of Namimori Middle School. That place was full of many memories, most of it was embarrassing, but I am still fond of it. This place was where everything began.

"Sawada."

I heard someone said softly.

I turned in surprise to see Hana stood beside me. I must be so distracted not to notice her.

I felt so tired and broken that I told Hana what happened, and I glad I did. I felt better because of it. And, I think we became a friend.

{K~H~R}

My times with Hana in Osaka, was like a vacation I never thought I needed. I was very glad that I invited her to come, even though it was on impulse.

"Kurokawa, did you ever have a crush?" I asked her curiously.

I had been thinking about it because I remember what kind of girl Hana was in middle school. She didn't seem like the type, but who knows.

"Did you ever have a crush on anyone else besides Kyouko?" She asked me instead.

"I don't think so. I really only have my eyes on Kyouko that time."

"Really? That's such a pity."

"Why do you think so?"

"It's such a pity that you didn't notice anyone else besides Kyouko."

I looked at her and saw she was looking up at the fireworks. I was curious with her wording, it likes she was implying something.

After we parted way, I remembered she never did answer my question about her crush. I didn't know whether to feel frustrated or amused that Hana managed to dodge my question without me realizing about it. In the end, at my flight back to Italy, I decided to feel amused because a civilian was getting a one over me, a mafia boss.

Then again, Hana is not just a civilian. She becomes even more impressive than I remembered.

{K~H~R}

A year later, I decided to come to Namimori because Reborn told me to get a break from the mafia. I was still confused about that.

A few days later an invitation came to my house, and when I received it I couldn't help but think. Reborn knew. That's why he told me to take a break.

I fell to my knees and read it. I felt so much despair and its hurt so much that I wanted to die. So, I went to the place where everything began, no place is more fitting to be my end after all.

I was numbed, while I walked to my destination thoughtlessly. I climbed the fence slowly and went into the roof. I looked around that place carefully since it could be the last time I see it.

I looked up at the sky and wished it would end shortly.

"Sawada, What are you doing up there!"

I heard someone shouted.

I turned to look down and saw her. My would-be saviour.

"Oh, Kurokawa, what are you doing here?" I said in confusion.

Did Takeshi feel like this a long time ago? Did he feel as happy as me when someone tried to stop him so desperately like her? Did he realize that day that we were not alone?

I realized that I still have my friends and Reborn would kill me if he finds out about this. He probably already knows.

I gave her my best smile. "Thank you for trying, Kurokawa."

I was about to step back from the edge when she said something surprising.

"Do you remember, a year ago in Osaka, you asked me if I ever had a crush."

I looked down at her in confusion and curiosity.

"I did have a crush." She said. "But, I decided to be in denial and ignore my feeling for him."

"Why did you decide to be like that?"

"Well, I couldn't help myself. I thought my feeling really made no sense."

I should have known that Hana was that type of girl.

"Will you stop this if I tell you?" She asked in a hopeful voice.

It was somewhat amusing that she was trying to bribe me to stop me from jumping, while I already planned to stop.

I decided to scare her and jumped. Then, I used my flames to land safely.

"Okay, I am here. Who was it that you had a crush on?" I grinned at her.

I really shouldn't be scaring her. She was really furious at me. I almost thought she wouldn't tell me about her crush. But, she did, and it left me speechless.

"Well, he was the most useless boy I know, and he wouldn't have noticed me, because he was busy romancing my best friend."

{K~H~R}

I looked at her retreating form in disbelief, while I stood frozen in front of our middle school. And I remembered looking at the smaller form of that back.

Then, my mind reminded me of every instance in the past about how many times I saw that back.

What she said about her crush kept replaying in my head and I couldn't help but thought, how impossible that was. Because she couldn't be talking about someone else but me.

After a while, I decided to go home. But, my head never stopped thinking about it.

"Take care, Sawada." She said and left before I could respond to her.

I was snapped out of my thought when I remembered her words from a long time ago. And I realized that she had always been there looking out for me.

She cares for me for a long time and I didn't even notice. How stupid can I be?

{K~H~R}

The next morning, I went to Hana's house. I didn't know exactly why I wanted to go there. I just had the impulse to go and see her.

But, she refused to see me. So, I could only thank her for everything she did for me from the door. Even though, she claimed to only did it out of pity. That's all right for me. After all, I was such a pitiful boy back then.

{K~H~R}

When I came back to Italy, Ryouhei came to see me.

"I am sorry, Sawada." He said solemnly.

"It's all right. It's not your fault, Ryouhei." I said firmly.

He looked at me in shock when I called him by his name.

He smiled at me sadly. "Everything's all right?"

I know he referred to not only our relationship as boss and guardian but also as a friend.

"Yes, nothing's wrong."

And he left after that.

I couldn't call him Onii-san anymore. After all, I called him that because I thought he would be my brother someday. But, now it would never happen.

{K~H~R}

I never thought I would come to Kyouko's wedding as a guest. I decided to come because I still care for her, and I wanted to know if she was happy with her decision.

And, I could see she was happy. I honestly didn't know what I would do otherwise. I was glad that I didn't have to find out because I don't think I could be with Kyouko anymore. She just hurts me too much.

I caught sight of Hana. She was wearing a simple black dress, and it suited her. She looked elegant in it. I smiled at her, but she looked away from me. I was disappointed.

At the reception, I tried not to paid attention to the newlywed couple. And I saw Hana sitting alone in a table. She was looking at the couple in disapproval. I was confused about that.

I approached her and asked for a dance. But, she refused. Just like I thought she would.

It was strange that everything I did for her had been on impulses. And even though I know that I would fail I still did it. It's a far cry on my attempt at trying to get Kyouko, which most of it was Reborn's fault.

I didn't understand why I did it, everything was just impulsed.

I couldn't blame Hana for thinking that I was trying to replace Kyouko. It was true, but I wasn't trying to take advantage of her feeling for me. I respect her too much for that. And, I am seriously wanted to have a chance with her, because my intuition told me that she would be worth it.

But, she wouldn't be easy to convince.

{K~H~R}

"I don't have a crush on you."

"My crush disappeared the same time the younger Sawada went back to the past."

What Hana told me at the wedding was disappointing and confusing at the same time. I never thought that I could felt jealous at my past self. Then again, that pathetic boy deserved some love. It's just too bad, he never realized it.

"So, what are you doing to do about it, Dame-Tsuna?"

I looked at Reborn in surprised for using my old nickname. It had been a while since he called me that.

"What are you talking about?"

Reborn raised his eyebrows mockingly, and then he looked at me seriously.

"Would you make the same mistake as your past self too?"

There were so many implications in that sentence. And then suddenly, I was reminded of what Hana told me in Osaka.

"It's such a pity that you didn't notice anyone else besides Kyouko."

I turned to look at Reborn. "You noticed her?" It wasn't a question, but a statement. Of course, Reborn would notice.

"Just like I noticed Haru's feeling for you, then later when Kyouko developed feeling for you. So of course, I noticed the first girl that had a crush on you."

My eyes widened at that. "Hana was the first?"

"Yes, Dame-Tsuna. So, are you going to make the same mistake and ignored that girl again?"

I looked at Reborn desperately. "But, why did you never tell me?"

If I knew …

"Nothing would change." Reborn finished my thought. "There was no place for Kurokawa Hana in your heart because Sasagawa Kyouko took over all of your heart. Even if you know beforehand, nothing would change."

I looked down in thought. Reborn is right. Nothing would change.

Suddenly, Reborn kicked my head.

"Reborn, what was that for?"

"Stop thinking about the past! Now you have another chance. So, don't waste it." Reborn told me and left.

That's right. I shouldn't make the same mistake as Dame-Tsuna. After all, I hadn't been that boy for a long time.

{K~H~R}

A month later, I came back to Namimori. And I found myself in front of Hana's house again. Unfortunately, Hana still refused to give me a chance.

I left with a heavy heart and my mind kept repeating that this was my own fault. I lost my chance with Hana a long time ago.

I shut myself in my room all day and thinking about Hana. I never noticed the time, until my mother called me downstairs.

"Tsu-kun, there is someone at the door for you." My mother gave me a sly smile.

I was confused at that, but I just nodded and went to the front door.

I was surprised to find Hana in front of my house. "Kurokawa?"

I looked away from her. "Why are you here?"

"I am sorry." I looked at her in surprise. "I haven't been fair to you."

She looked away from me. "I guess I am still in denial."

I looked at her intently. I could tell she was being truthful and she felt embarrassed. This facet of Hana was new to me.

"I will give you a chance if you still want it."

I was speechless. I tried to speak but failed. When I saw she was going to leave, I finally said something.

"Thank you, Hana." That was the first time I said her first name and I smiled at her in relief and gratitude.

She looked at me in surprise and I noticed that she blushed. I felt accomplished at seeing that.

"You're welcome, Tsunayoshi." She said and left hurriedly.

Who would have thought that Hana looks cute when she feels shy? I should have fallen for that woman sooner.

{K~H~R}

I was disappointed that I need to go back to Italy later that day. But, Hana understands and didn't begrudge me for it when I came back to her house to tell her about it. She still looked embarrassed for what happened before. We exchanged phone number and I took my leave.

When I arrived at Vongola Headquarter, I hugged Reborn on impulse when I saw him. Predictably, he kicked my stomach for it. But, it didn't decrease my mood at all.

"I take it. You finally got a new girlfriend."

I blushed in embarrassment. And Reborn smirked at me in amusement.

"Don't let go of this one, Tsuna. Good luck."

He left me in stunned silence at his encouragement and approval. And that made me realized that Reborn never thought much about my relationship with Kyouko.

{K~H~R}

A few days later, my guardians, except for Kyouya and Mukuro, barged into my office.

"Juudaime is it true!" Hayato asked frantically.

"Tsuna, you are dating again?" Takeshi looked at me happily.

"Sawada, you extremely have a new girlfriend?" That's definitely Ryouhei.

I was surprised by their presence.

"Um… Yes."

"Who is it, Boss?" I didn't notice Chrome was there too.

"Yare yare, it must be Haru, who else will date Vongola?" Lambo said.

"Shut up, stupid cow. That woman doesn't have a feeling for Juudaime anymore." Hayato shouted at him.

"How do you know, Hayato?" Takeshi grinned at him.

Hayato sputtered. "It's obvious. All of you are just blind."

I smiled in amusement at their antics.

"Guys, please calm down," I said.

They turned to me at one and silently asked me about the identity of my new girlfriend.

"You all know her. It's Kurokawa Hana."

"What!"

I looked at Ryouhei sheepishly. I just remembered that she used to be his fiancée.

"I hope it's all right with you, Ryouhei."

"Of course, Sawada." Ryouhei beamed at me. "But, Hana is my honorary sister. So, you better take care of her."

I smiled at him in relief. "I understand. I will take care of her."

"Is this all right with all of you?" I asked for the rest of my guardians.

"Of course, nothing wrong with it," Takeshi said.

"If Juudaime is happy with her, then I will support you both."

Lambo shuddered. "Ore-sama is fine with it too, Vongola. Just keep her away from Ore-sama."

I sweatdropped at remembering Hana small crush on him.

Chrome smiled at me playfully. "When is the wedding, Boss?"

"Chrome! We're just starting to date."

And we laughed together. I am glad that my guardians approve of her.

{K~H~R}

Next month, I went home to Namimori to visit Hana. It will be our first meeting since we began to date. And I was nervous, what if she changes her mind and break up with me. I couldn't get rid of that thought from my mind.

But, when I arrived in front of her house, someone else was standing in front of it. I looked at that person in shock and that person turned around and looked at me in surprise and anger.

"Sawada-kun." That person said brusquely.

"Hello, Kyouko," I said softly.

She narrowed her eyes at me. "What are you doing here?"

"I want to see Hana."

"Hana!" She gave me a disapproving look.

I felt dread come to my senses and looked at her pleadingly.

"How are you doing, Kyouko?"

"I am doing all right. I have never been better." She answered with obvious happiness. "But, Sawada-kun, what is your business with Hana-chan, my best friend."

I looked at her sadly with her obvious contempt for me. What happened to the Kyouko I knew?

"Well, you know, don't you? Hana is my girlfriend."

She looked angrier at me and snapped. "No! Sawada-kun, stay away from Hana-chan."

I never saw this fight with Kyouko coming. It made me sad that I was also losing Kyouko as a friend.

Then, I heard Hana's voice. I turned to look at her in shock. When she entered her house and left me there. I thought everything was over.

I looked at the woman that I used to love the most. And my heart broke at seeing her look of satisfaction.

She looked at me in contempt. "You deserve this." And she left me there.

I looked away from her and threw away all my affection for that stranger. She didn't deserve it anymore, not even as a friend.

Then, I stared at Hana's house, and will myself to look away from it and went home. There was nothing I could do here anymore.

{K~H~R}

I shut myself in my room and tried not to think about Hana, with no success. And I did that until I fell asleep. The next day, my mother woke me up.

"You have a guest, Tsu-kun."

"I don't want to see anyone," I said tiredly.

"No, Tsu-kun, this guest is important. Now get ready."

I groaned but decided to listen to her. After I cleaned myself up, I went downstairs to meet this guest. When I reached our living room, I stopped in my track and stared at the said guest.

"Why are you standing in there like an idiot?"

That snapped me out and I blurted out. "Why are you here?" I regretted it immediately.

Fortunately, she didn't seem to mind about my rudeness. "Why not? Can't I see my boyfriend?" She said playfully.

I looked away from her. "I thought after yesterday, you wouldn't want to see me."

"I am not delusional you know." She snorted. "Sit down, Mr Sawada. I don't want to hurt my neck looking up at you like this."

I stared at her in confusion, but complied with her request and sat in a chair across from her.

"I told you before that I don't have a crush on you, right." She looked at me seriously. "Why do you think so?"

"You only have a crush on my younger self, that what you said."

She sighed exasperatedly. "Why do you think I only have a crush on your younger self?"

"I don't know," I said.

"I don't know either."

I became more confused with her answer.

"Your younger self was a failure, who failed at everything. It made no sense that I grow to have a crush on him."

I looked down in embarrassment at that, while she laughed at me.

"There is a saying that 'Love is Blind', but I am really not convinced. So, I refused to admit it."

I smiled at her. That sounded like Hana. Then, she turned to look at me seriously.

"Then, there are you, anyone else would never think that you used to be a failure. When I saw you I could see you've changed, you've become a man and a mafia boss. I know that the mafia are dangerous and you're a dangerous man. I wouldn't delude myself in thinking that you've never killed anyone as a mafia boss."

I was surprised by what she said, and at the same time not. I shouldn't have doubted her.

"So, no, Tsunayoshi, I am not delusional. I know what I am getting involved with, the day I decided to give you a chance."

I laughed in relief and at her obvious embarrassment. I am glad that I took a chance with her.

"I really should think better of you. You're right, you're not delusional. A woman who values logic will never delude herself."

I smiled at her, and for the first time, I saw her smile. Hana will never know that smile took my breath away.

And that was when I realized that I am in love with Hana.

{K~H~R}

My relationship with Hana was going well these past months. I was still not sure how to confess my feeling to her. I couldn't help but think how strange it was, that I am trying to confess to my own girlfriend. Even that sounds weird in my head.

That just reminded me, that we're dating because we want to give it a chance, not because we fancied each other. But, still, I didn't regret it and Hana didn't seem to either.

Then again, I am still not sure if I should confess or not. I was hesitated because of our conversation the other night at our first dinner.

Hana had a crush on my younger self. And she always put emphasis on the word 'younger', as if she wanted to point out that we're both different persons. It's true that I hadn't been that boy for a long time, but that boy was still me, right?

Lately, Hana often talked about my younger self with obvious fondness, which I think she didn't realize was present in her voice. I am not that boy anymore, but Hana loved that boy. I couldn't help but feel jealous and sad.

That was messed up. How could you get jealous of your own past self?

{K~H~R}

"Juudaime, there is a reunion in our middle school. Do you want to go?" Hayato bought the invitation to my office.

I looked at it and read it. "What about you and the others?"

"I think I will go. That baseball freak had been pestering me about it. He kept saying that he will bring a date with him." He grumbled in annoyance.

I raised my eyebrows in amusement. Hayato and Takeshi tended to compete on everything.

"So, who are you going to bring with you?" I asked.

He looked flustered. "I… I… am… not."

I chuckled at that. "You don't have to tell me, Hayato. You can leave now."

He looked relieved and left immediately.

I looked at the invitation and thought about Hana. I smirked in amusement.

"Why not?" I said to no one.

I took my phone and dialled my girlfriend's number.

"Hello, Hana," I said happily.

"Yes, what is it?" She grumbled.

I ignored her bad tone. "Hana, what do you think about going to our middle school reunion?" I said straight to the point.

She wouldn't like me to waste time on pleasantry. She usually prefers that I spoke my intention directly. And, she obviously already got the invitation.

"I am not going." She responded bluntly.

"But Hana, I want to go to that reunion."

"Then, go by yourself."

"Hana, I don't want to go by myself."

"What's wrong with that?" She asked in annoyance.

"Why should I go alone, when I have a girlfriend? Besides, Hayato and Takeshi said they're going to bring their date. How do you think I feel about that?" I said to her pleading. "So, please, come with me, Tesoro (Darling)."

"Fine, I will go with you."

I looked at my phone in relief. "Thank you, Hana."

"But, if you call me Tesoro again, I will kick you where the sun doesn't shine the next time I see you." I flinched at her threat.

I guess, she understands Italian.

{K~H~R}

I picked Hana up from her house and went to our middle school together. She was in a bad mood. I, on the other hand, couldn't help but feel happy. And it amused me that my good mood seemed to irritate her further.

At the reunion, when they were taking attendance. I noticed that Hana finally reached the end of her patient. Our classmates' reaction to me was what finally made her snapped. I could only look in confusion at her and ran after her when she left.

After we left the school, I finally decided to speak.

"Are you all right, Hana?" I said uncertainly. "You seem angry."

She stopped in my track and looked at me intently. I became nervous with her attention.

"I was reminded of the day when that ridiculous nickname of yours was born." She said evenly, but I could still detect her anger.

I looked at her in confusion. "What nickname?"

"Dame-Tsuna." She frowned. "Remembering that left me in a bad mood."

"Oh." My eyes widened. "Why?"

"I had always felt disappointed at your failures."

I looked down at that.

"But, also at our classmates and teachers. Because they ridiculed you for their own amusement and never bother to help you."

I looked up in surprise. "Um... I..."

"I am glad that you convinced me to come to that reunion."

"I thought you don't like it."

"I don't, but while remembering that day, I also figure out why I had a crush on the younger you."

"You figured it out?" I said in disbelief.

She grinned at me with a satisfied look. "I told you that I will figure it out, didn't I."

I looked at her in confusion and uncertainty. I didn't know if I should feel happy about it.

"So, why is it that you had a crush on me?" I asked pleadingly.

She smiled adoringly at me. "It's Logic and Common Sense, Tsunayoshi."

"Hana, please, tell me."

"Figure it out yourself, Tsunayoshi."

I continued to stare at her obvious happiness.

Since that day, I noticed that Hana had been looking at me differently. And, I think that because she was looking at my younger self through me. I didn't know how to feel about that.

{K~H~R}

It had been a year since I am dating Hana, and I still haven't told her about my feeling. I just don't know if it's the right time.

Since that reunion, Hana didn't talk about my younger self anymore. And I think it's because Hana is seeing my past self through me.

Like she told me to, I tried to figure out why she had a crush on my younger self, but I just couldn't think why. I thought about asking Reborn because he seems to know everything, but I don't think he would tell me.

"Tsunayoshi. Do you think I can meet your family in the mafia?"

When Hana asked me that, I couldn't help but think about Kyouko's trip to Italy. I really didn't want the same thing to happen.

"I just thought I should know if I want to take our relationship seriously."

I became uncertain at her reasoning. She's right. We're taking our relationship seriously, aren't we? Why did I become uncertain?

I grinned at her. "Do you feel like going to Italy?"

{K~H~R}

I paced around my room in worry. Her trip to Italy will be the last step. There will be no going back after this.

I took my phone and dialled someone number.

"Hayato."

"Yes, Juudaime."

"I am going to bring Hana to Vongola Headquarter."

Hayato was silent for a while. "I understand. I will tell everyone to be in their best behaviour." He said solemnly.

"No," I said firmly.

"Juudaime?" I could feel his confusion.

"I know that I asked of it when Kyouko came to visit, but I don't want to make the same mistake again."

He became silent again. "Then, what is your order, Juudaime." He said in determination.

"Tell everyone, to be themselves."

I could just picture Hayato bewildered face. "Yes, Hayato, you heard me correctly."

"You want us to be ourselves?" He asked in confusion.

"Yes," I said firmly.

"But, why?"

"Because Hayato, I love Hana." That's the first time I admit it, even though it's to someone else.

"It's true that I also loved Kyouko that time. But, this is different. I never thought that Kyouko would get scared and left me because of the mafia. But, Hana…"

I took a deep breath. "I don't think I could take it if Hana leaves me too later."

Hayato gasped. "Juu… Juudaime."

"It will be better if she runs away sooner, instead of stringing me along and leave me later," I said determinedly.

I could hear the sound of sniffing from my phone.

"I understand, Juudaime. I will tell everyone to be themselves."

"Thank you, Hayato."

I closed my phone and sighed. This is it. The last step, if Hana takes a step back, then everything is over.

I looked down and saw my trembling hands. I took a deep breath and released it. They never stopped trembling.

{K~H~R}

I have never been more nervous than that day when Hana visited the Vongola Headquarter. Just like I told Hayato, everyone acted like usual. No one gave Hana a special treatment. They just acted like she wasn't there.

Hana didn't seem to mind it. And when my guardians got on a fight, just like I know they would. She took it easily.

She looked at me the way she always looked at me since the reunion. I didn't like that look much, because she must have to look at my past self instead of me.

"You know, I might grow a crush on you."

I looked at her in surprise.

"We've dated for a year, and you're just starting crushing on me now?" I said in mock indignation.

"I just realized that you're not that much different with your younger self."

I groaned. "Are you telling me that I am still a failure?"

She grinned at that. "Maybe, but that's not what I am talking about. Have you figured out why I had a crush on the younger you?"

I pouted. "Not yet."

She laughed and looked at me with that look again. "Tsunayoshi, I had a crush on the younger you, because out of all the boys I know, he was the one with the most common sense."

I gaped at that and cried.

I fell to my knees. "I can't believe it. Someone finally understands my suffering."

I looked at her pleadingly. "Hana, will you please marry me?"

Hana looked at me in shock. "What!"

{K~H~R}

During my sudden proposal, inwardly, I was in turmoil, because of what Hana told me. I didn't know how to feel about it. I am happy to know that she does like me, even though it's in comparison with my past self.

My past self had done many mistakes and accomplished many great things at the same time. And Hana knows all about it.

Despite how sudden and ridiculous this proposal is, I was being serious but I know Hana was going to reject me because she isn't ready yet. Even I admit I am not ready either. I just suddenly have the sudden impulse to do this, despite my intuition telling me otherwise.

Reborn would have told me to always listen to my intuition, but I learned that with Hana, I don't have to always be on guard, which is what I tend to use my intuition for.

Unlike everyone else I know. Hana is a perfectly reasonable person. So, even if I did or said something I shouldn't say, Hana would have a perfectly reasonable reaction, unlike most people I know who like to be unreasonable, which result in either stress or paperwork or both.

See, Hana already my most favourite person just because of that. I can relax and be myself without anything else to worry about besides my Famiglia. I am really glad to have Hana.

So, even though this proposal might be on impulse, and even though I know she is going to refuse. I do plan to do it again someday.

And, if I am going to make this woman my wife, then I need to accept the fact that Hana likes my past self more than me. Just like she already accepted that I used to love Kyouko more than her.

After all, I am going to make sure that I will not be in the shadow of my past self for long. Because, unlike that boy, I am in love with Kurokawa Hana, not Sasagawa Kyouko, and that changes everything.

If I don't want to cause another parallel world, I would have asked Lambo to tell my younger self to give up on Kyouko.

But, then again, my younger self wouldn't have listened since he was completely infatuated with Kyouko.

It was a pity that I was so naive back then. I was so enamoured with the kind and angelic Sasagawa Kyouko that I never thought seriously how unfit she is for a life in the mafia. I should have seen the disastrous end of our relationship.

Is that what it means by 'Love is Blind'?

Hana would have told me I was just looking for an excuse for being stupid. Like she said 'She was not convinced'.

The End

I hope you enjoy this story. Please be kind to me and review it. Thank you for reading my fan fiction.

Marmora F. An Nora