Every Wednesday Miley and Lilly watched the same show on TV. Only Miley didn't know Lilly liked the show, nor did Lilly know Miley liked the show. It was the one day of the week, they turned down hanging with each other, and it sort of became a ritual.
It would go something like this on Wednesday during even weeks:
"Hey Miles, wanna come to my place? Little brother is out of the house today!" Lilly shouts excitedly, but is secretly hoping Miley says no, so she can watch her show.
"Oh, sorry Lils, I can't. Dad needs me to help him in the garden, why can't he be a normal man and fix cars?" They both laugh together, Lilly silently praying 'thanks,' at the same time though.
And this is how it went on Wednesdays during odd weeks:
"Lils! Lils! Come over today! Dad's cooking up a new recipe! Spare ribs, in sort of sauce… but I'm sure you'll like it!" Miley beams at her friend, trying to disguise she secretly wants Lilly to say no.
"Eep! Miley, I can't! I have to walk my little brother down to the park for baseball practice, sorry!" And when Lilly looks away, Miley lets out a sigh of relief.
So yes, they'd alternate asking each other, but always hoping the other would say no. And it always happened, because they were watching the same show on TV. And what show would that be? Well it was a dating game show… for same-sex couples.
Miley never told Lilly, and vice-versa, that she was attracted to girls. For fear of embarrassment and rejection. Well something happened this particular Wednesday that changed their lives; little did they know at the time though.
At Miley's:
"And get ready girls and guys in the California area! Cause we'll be coming to you next! Visiting different sections of California, LA, San Francisco, Sacramento, and Malibu! Just call this number 1-800-555-6789 to enter for your chance to appear on Gray's Gay Dating Show!"
Miley screamed at the top of her lungs, 'Now's my chance! To finally get a girlfriend, and not have to question if she's a lesbian or not! I'll know for sure, cause she'll be on the TV show as well! OMG I have to call now!' Miley excitedly thought to herself.
"Hello? … Yes! … Malibu, California … Miley Stewart … You'll call me by next week? … Okay! … Thanks so much!"
At Lilly's:
"…Just call this number 1-800-555-6789 to enter for your chance to appear on Gray's Gay Dating Show!"
"Oh my god! Mom! Mom!" Lilly screeched through the house, "Moooommm!!!"
"What?" Heather asked entering the living room.
"Can I go? Can I go? Can I go?" Lilly was jumping up and down on her couch.
"Go where, sweetie?" Heather asked patiently, she knew her daughter had a high case of ADHD.
"On the showww!!!" Lilly exasperated, as though her mom should've known the whole time.
"Of course," she responded, before walking into the kitchen again.
"YESSSSS!!" Lilly cheered, and picked up the phone "Hello? … Yes! … Malibu, California! … Lilly Truscott … Oh my god, I really hope you call me next week! Eep! … Okay! … Ah! Thank you soo soo so much!"
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Next week:
Next week came pretty fast for both girls. Oh how desperately they wanted to tell each other, their obsession for this show, and their excitement that they might get on the show, but of course they kept their mouths shut.
Miley's house:
"Miles! You've got a phone call!" Robbie Ray shouted, hoping wherever she was in the house, she'd be able to hear him.
Miley grabbed the phone and put it to her ear, "Hello? … I'll be appearing on next week! … Okay, so meet at the TV set an hour earlier … Right, so you're sending me a pass in the mail? … Okay … Right … I'll be there! Thanks once again! … Bye!"
Miley ran over to her Daddy, who was reading the paper, while sipping coffee. "Dad! I can be on the TV show next week! Gray's Gay Dating Show! Can you believe it?!"
"Now, I know you're excited and all, but what if Lilly happens to skim through the TV and sees you on this show?" he asked concerned.
"Dad, Lilly would never even pass this channel, it's like 144 on the TV, and it's an all gay network, she won't."
Lilly's house:
"Mom, mom, mom, mom, mom," Lilly repeatedly stated her name over and over, until her mom glared at her. Heather was on the phone talking to an old friend, but Lilly didn't want to miss the phone call that might determine the rest of her life, "Mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom," Lilly started again.
"Fran, I'll call you back, my daughter is begging for my attention," Heather hung up the phone, "Sheesh Lilly how would you like it the next time you're on the phone with Miley, I just keep going Lilly, Lilly, Lilly, Lilly, Lilly?"
"Well you're mature, I'm not. There's the difference," Lilly crossed her arms, and nodded her head knowingly.
"Well maybe you're not mature enough to go on this dating game show," Heather laughed, knowing this would get a reaction out of her daughter.
"NO!" Lilly shrieked, and was going to continue, but the phone finally rang. "Hello?! … Shit! You're kidding, right? … You're not?! … Mom! Mom! I'm gonna be on the show!!! Hi, I'm back … Okay, when will the pass come in the mail? … Be there an hour early? Got it! … Ahhh! Thank you, thank you so much! … Bye!!!" Lilly threw her arms around her Mother and did the happy dance with her.
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Next week:
"Hey Lils, I can't hang out at all today, I just wanted to let you know," Miley told her best friend during lunch, trying her best to contain her excitement that she was going to be on TV within the next few hours.
"No way!" Lilly responded loudly, "I was just gonna say the same thing!" Lilly grinned at Miley, both of them having a slight feeling that the other was keeping something from each other.
At the studio (Miley's POV):
Okay, so what if I'm an hour and a half early? The early bird gets the worm, right? I really can't explain how excited I am! Do you know how it feels to be hidden from everyone, except from your Daddy? Well, it's horrible! But this is finally a chance I get to find someone else who I know is interested in girls.
"Miley Stewart?" A man greets me as I enter the studio.
"Yes'm," I respond, not able to withhold my smile.
"Well we've got a surprise for you, you aren't going to be one of the contestants, you're going to be our main girl!" he tells me with a slight lisp, and soon directs me to my makeup room, where I have to stay hidden so none of the contestants see me, and I don't see any of them.
At the studio (Lilly's POV):
Eep! Eep! I'm only arriving half an hour early! Okay, okay, I know I move at a slug's pace! I hope they didn't replace me! "Hi! Lilly Truscott reporting sir!" I salute to a guard standing outside the studio entrance.
He glares at me, and says one thing, "Pass?" okay so he didn't really say it, he more of grunted it.
"Right here…" uh-oh… how could I have forgotten my pass? "I swear I had it right in my pocket…"
"Lilly! Lilly, darling!" I turn around and see my mom jogging to me, waving my pass around. Thank god for mothers!
She reaches me, and is out of breath, "Here," she hands it to me, "running in high heeled shoes ain't easy."
"Oh go right in!" The guard says to me kindly, and I eye him suspiciously as I begin to enter.
"And what's your name pretty lady?" I hear him say as the door closes behind me. Ew! He just wants to hit on my mom. What's up with that? Why does everyone think my mom is a MILF? Oohh, if only they knew her habits.
"Lilly Truscott? I almost thought you weren't gonna show!" A man in a purple suit greets me.
"Well here I am! Sorry about the delay! I can still be on? Right?" I ask hopefully.
"Well, of course! What would we do without you?" he laughs and leads me to a room, "they're just gonna do some makeup, so you look amazing for the cameras! And you're contestant number two, got it?"
"Got it!" I respond, already getting jittery.
The Show (Omniscient POV):
"And welcome to Gray's Gay Dating Show!" Gray announces to the audience, wearing a leopard suit, and Georgio Armani sunglasses, which he whips off immediately. "On today's show, it's a female episode! Wooh! You girls rock! Right, well what makes this female episode so different from the rest is that, all our contestants are teenagers! So who's ready to start?!"
The crowd cheers at Gray, and he just keeps flashing his smile to everyone. "Alright ladies, there are 3 contestants, each behind these curtains! And the lady of our show… let's give a warm welcome to Miley Stewart!"
"M-Miley?" Lilly whispers to herself behind the curtain. She couldn't believe it. All those times Miley rejected to hang out with her… it must've been for the same reason! Lilly suddenly smirks; she was going to do her best to make Miley pick her. Who better for a first girlfriend then your extremely hot best friend?
"So why don't you tell us a little about yourself?" Gray asks, while he has his arm around Miley's shoulders.
"Well, I'm 16, and I'm currently a sophomore, I play guitar, and sing pretty well too," Miley laughs nervously; she didn't know that it'd be this hard to talk about herself on screen.
"Right, right, we'll let's get to the more interesting stuff, shall we? Like what is your biggest turn on?"
"My-my what?" Miley stutters, only to realize he was joking.
"Relax honey!" Gray starts to lead her to a chair, "here are the questions," he hands her a stack of index cards, "and now it's all up to you on Gray's Gay Dating Show!"
"Okay, contestant number one, if I saw you on the beach and asked you for the time, what would you do?" Miley asks reading right off the index card.
Lilly glances over to her right, only to see Amber? How did she not notice her earlier? Amber's gay? "Well, I would respond 'Oh the time? It's 555-1234.' Let's just hope you had a pen ready," Amber smiles, seeming satisfied with her response.
"Haha, that's a good one contestant number one!" Gray adds in before Miley continues.
"Contestant number two, what would you do if you had to meet my parents on the first date?"
Lilly swallows all the remaining moisture in her mouth, "I would be nervous, of course, but try my best to impress old pops, so I can keep dating you in the future." Lilly smacked her head, cursing silently at herself for making such a stupid response.
"Alright," Miley says, she couldn't help but think that voice sounded all too familiar… same with the first voice as well, "Contestant number three, if I wanted you to make me dinner, what would you make me?"
Once again Lilly glances to her left, and sees Sarah? What is this? Why is every girl that goes to Seaview High School here? Are they all hidden gays?
"Well I would cook us some beans, and some pasta. Cause I wouldn't want to eat lettuce… or meat or anything, 'cause that's hurting the trees and animals," Miley couldn't help but think how alike this girl sounded like Sarah.
It went on like this for a while, Amber always giving a flirty, jackass sort of response, Lilly responding as honestly as possible, and Sarah referring everything back to tree-hugging hippie stuff.
"Alright audience, we are done to the last question that is directed to all three contestants!" Gray does a quick clap, which seemed like it was more for himself than anything else.
"Alright the question is," Miley looks at the index card, "If we were alone in my bedroom, what would you do? Contestant number one?"
"Well this is an easy one. What would anyone do with someone else alone in their bedroom? Let's just say we wouldn't get any sleep that night," Amber confidently responds.
"Contestant number two?"
"I'd want you to play me one of the songs you've written and sing it softly to me, so we can have a peaceful evening," Lilly lets out a sigh of relief, hoping that her answer was good enough for Miley.
"And lastly contestant number three?"
"Well we could make artistic sculptures out of recycled materials! That's one of the funnest things I like to do!"
"Alright! Let's take a commercial break, then we'll see who Miley's lucky lady will be!" Gray frowns the second he's off the air, and wipes some sweat off his face.
Lilly fiddles with her pointer fingers; glad Sarah and Amber haven't said anything to her yet. Amber whips out a nail filer, okay seriously, why does she carry that everywhere with her? And Sarah is humming some sort of song to herself.
"Okay, welcome back to Gray's Gay Dating Show! Now's the moment you've all been waiting for! Who is Miley Stewart going to pick?!" Gray walks over to Miley and stands right next to her, while she is still seated on the chair.
"Well I think I'm going to have to go with the obvious choice," Miley throws a quick smile to the crowd and camera, "Contestant number two!"
Lilly's lungs instantly stopped working when she said that. As hard as she try, she couldn't suck in air.
"Alright, well let's have a look at the unfortunate contestants that did not get picked! Raise curtain number one!"
As Amber became revealed, Miley gasped and started chuckling, never once thinking Amber was possibly a lesbian. "Raise curtain number three!"
Sarah waves at Miley, once the curtain is totally uplifted, and once again Miley is laughing, she knew it was Sarah all along, but now she was really wondering who was under curtain number two… was it going to be someone from Seaview High?
"Are you ready to see who you picked?" Gray asks Miley, giving her a small wink.
She responds by nodding her head 'yes.' "Alright, raise curtain number two!!"
Lilly holds her breath (not like she was breathing the entire time anyways) and sits very still on her stool, her whole body tense.
"Lilly?!" Miley screams happily, and instantly runs over to Lilly, pulling her in a bone crushing hug.
"Well it seems as though the two already know each other! Gray loves bringing people together, it's what he does," Gray winks at the camera, "And we'll see you next week! Wednesday at 6pm, Gray's Gay Dating Show!"
"Lilly I can't believe that was you!" Miley is still hugging her with all her might, "who knew I'd end up with my best friend!"
"Miles, I'm so glad that you get to be my first," Lilly dreamily says, then quickly adds, "I mean first girlfriend!"
"I knew what you meant," Miley finally pulls back a little, but only to bring Lilly into a searing kiss.
"I wish we could keep recording just so the audiences at home could see this," Gray comments to Amber and Sarah.
"Well, now we can watch this show together on Wednesday's, huh?" Lilly jokes, holding Miley in her arms now.
FIN.
A/N: I liked this oneshot! When I was writing it, I kept thinking to that song by ICP called "Dating Game" here's a link if you wanna hear the song… just take the spaces out.
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