The Real Digifan: A parody of The Real Slim Shady
By
Digifan3:16
Disclaimer: This is a parody of Eminem's The Real Slim Shady meant to offend anti-fans. I don't think I'll do the entire version yet. But, if I do, I'll take this down and post the whole song. To all anti-fans: I got two words for ya': SUCK IT! (Note: for the lyric involving Ken and Wormon, picture any episode where Ken is beating him up and I don't like Davis even though the second season has only started a couple of months ago. And yes, one of the reasons is because I'm a TKari fan.)
At an anime convention, everyone is sitting as a loud speaker turns on and an announcement is made
"May I have your attention please?
May I have your attention please?
Will the real Digifan please stand up?
I repeat will the real Digifan please stand up?"
Everyone except one brown hair, hazel eyed person is standing
"We're gonna have a problem here."
The sitting person starts to sing
Ya' all act like you've never seen a writer before!
Jaws dropping all over the floor
Flashes to Ken's layer
Like Wormon when Ken bursts
Through the door and started whopping his tail
Worse than before all over the furniture (AHHH!)
It's the return of the…
Convention
Aw… Wait a minute… No… You're kidding!
He didn't write what I think he did, did he?
Cut to singer drinking milk with a picture of Davis on it with the words MISSING above it
And Davis said: …nothing you idiots,
Davis is dead, he's locked in my basement! (YAY!)
Convention
Women love this author!
Cue Singer running after and tackling an anti-fan
"Digifan, what a has been!
Writing about that show!
Posting it you know where!"
"Yeah, but his stories are so good though!"
Convention
Yeah, I probably got a few screws up in my head loose!
But there's more action in there than Quarter Fan's bedroom Cue to QF in his room crying ("I'm so lonely")!
Convention
You want to cut loose? This Site is where it's at!
You can even write about Tai humping Matt!
Cut to Tai waving his but in front of Matt saying:
"My bum is on your lips!
My bum is on your lips!
And if I'm lucky,
You might just give it a little kiss!"
Convention
And that's the message we deliver to little kids!
And not to know what a women's clitoris is!
Of course they're going to know what a clitoris is!
By the time there in fourth grade they've written their
Cue to kid typing
Fifteenth porn fic, haven't they?
Convention
We ain't nothing but fans!
Well, some of us are antifans,
But their destined to be nothing but has-beens.
Room with singer and two other fans (note: they can be anyone you know)
But if we can write about your favorite animals, or
Turn your favorite heroes into cannibals,
Inside a chapel, Mimi and Lilimon in wedding gowns
Then there's no reason we can write a Digimon and
And a Digidestened going to Vegas to elope (EEEEWWW!)!
room
Fans if you feel about it like I do, I got the antidote!
Female fans wave your pantyhose, sing the chorus, and it goes:
Cue to a room with a dozen people that look like the singer, real singer is singing
I'm Digifan,
Yes, I'm the real Digifan,
All you other Digifans don't have a 3:16!
So quote the real Digifan:
Please stand up,
Please stand up!
'Cuz I'm Digifan,
Yes, I'm the real Digifan,
All you other Digifans don't have a 3:16!
So quote the real Digifan:
Please stand up,
Please stand up!
The room with two other people
A bunch of people have got to have weird
Romances to have their fics read.
Well I don't!
There'll be no Matt fucking Kari for you,
And there sure as hell won't be any Tai fucking Kari too!
Cue to the ext. of the Staple Center
You think I give a damn about being an award nominee?
All you anti-fans can't stomach me,
Let alone stand me!
Cue to interior of the Center as a reporter speaks with Digifan
"But Digi, if you win, wouldn't it be weird?"
First, I wana know, what the hell am I doing here anyway?
Cue to UMJ
You people have me siting next to UMJ!
Cue to Misty Girl
Oh, no! Misty Girl! This is getting worse!
Cue to Digimon Sucks punching himself repeatedly and acting like he's yelling at someone
And now I'm hearing Digimon Sucks is arguing with Digimon Still Sucks
Over which personality she gave a blowjob to first!
You little assholes, blast my favorite show on TV!
("Digimon sucks, he he!")
I should upload an HTML file on my drive C,
And show the whole world how you each gave
Pokemon TB!
Room full of Digifans
I'm sick of you boy and girl anti-fans,
All you do is annoy me,
So I have been sent here to destroy you (Click)
Cue to factory creating the Digifans
And there's a million of us who write like me,
Who think like me,
Who walk, and talk, and act like me,
Who might be the next best thing but not quite me!
Room full of Digifans
I'm Digifan,
Yes I'm the real Digifan,
All you other Digifans don't have a 3:16!
So quote the real Digifan:
Please stand up,
Please stand up!