Toloveru - Rito's Dope Wheels are just too Dang Dope!

A/N: This is a test with ffnet's programming with different fonts. Don't expect to understand what I'm tryinhg to do. Neither do I. If my idea doesn't work, you still have a story about how Rito's wheel are just too dang dope. Which is true. They really are too dope.

"Dang these wheels are too dope!" I exclaimed.

My Vespa scooter was fully dope. I smoothed my snakeskin hands over the glossy rims on the bike. Yui was here checking it out too.

"Dang Right" I agreed looking at Rito, my fair weathered friend. Then with a continuous burst of feminine energy and feminist rage, I holla'd "Dang, Those Wheels. Are. Too Dang Dope!"

I'm glad Yui is my friend, after all, she agrees my wheels are just too dang dope.

Then we agreed, these wheels, accompanied by the sweet checkin' wheels. As we admired the Vespa scooter, something slammed into the garage door. It knocked over a tub of our home made smallpox concoction. Good thing we were both wearing our hazmat suits!

"Open up!" a deep voice boomed from the other side.

"Oh no Rito! It's the fuzz!"

"Oh no! It's the anti-Dope Police, they think my wheels are just too dang dope!"

The narks banged on the garage door once more, "Open the door with your hands up! This is your only warning!"

A bright light flashed throw the small windows.

I sprinted over to the barrel.

"Don't touch it Rito" cried Yui, "You can still contract it through your suit!"

I reassured her "Nah, nah, nah, don't sweat it mate, I'm only reaching for the nark-be-gone's"

"Ah, yeah righto" she replied

I grabbed the keys to the Vespa, the keychain had a heavy bamboo carving of the words 'ISIS Japan'.

The wall had a secret panel the revealed a lever. Once pulled it'd reveal a secret underground getaway. It was locked behind a giant framed portrait of the Cheetos tiger. A trap door in the floor opened up, the flap becoming a ramp for us to descend into.

"Take this you infidels!" I roared and blasted nark-gun shells through the metal garage door. In my pocket I shifted away my bag or Doritos, a space food stick and a DVD of Cool Runnings, eventually I found my lighter. I rolled a small gas tank, the one you use for BBQs, around the floor, until I reached the pallet of C4 explosives. I attached two plastic pipes to the gas tank, twisted them up in a knot and stick a toothpick into it. The lighter was set under the toothpick and pipe. I twisted the gas tank, letting out its fumes, it would fill the pipes with the beautiful gas. The lighter would burn the toothpick in a faster time than it would melt away the plastic pipes.

Meanwhile the pigs were choppin' away at the garage door and trying to open the door from the house. They were using one of their commie-rams for bustin' commies.

"Shazbot" I muttered and lifted the gas tank on top of the C4 Pallet. I set the lighter on the tank, underneath the toothpick. I felt bad for having to depart with this lighter, it was one of my favourites, it was shaped like a toilet with the flames coming out of the bowl.

"Come on Rito, don't you want to cause mayhem for the non-believers!" I screamed while revving the sweet Vespa.

"Okay"!

"Good!"

"Good!"

"Welcome come on then!"

"Okay!" I said and jumped onto the back on the Vespa. I really do have some dang good wheels.

"See you all in heck you cuntinous disarray of dishevelment and passion!" I chanted.

The Vespa's wheels span on the floor, smoke coming out.

"Let's do this Rito!"

The two biblical teens chanted, "Allah Akbar!"as they sped down the ramp, through the sewers and into an uncertain future. Officer Silver deleivered the final ram into the garage. Six officers came in guns blazing. Silver's hard expression lost all its power when he saw the toothpick burn alight.

"Oh Fu-"

The whole house exploded. If the explosion wouldn't kill them, the batercial virus, assumed dead for decades, would kill them. The virus spread through the sewers – the waterways and throughout the city. The City of New York would have no idea what was coming for them.

But even I, who is the writer of this universe, can confirm…that Rito's Vespa had some pretty dope wheels.

The End.