Disclaimer: I don't own...unfortunately.
Erm...No comment. I found this doujin that kind of inspired me, and I felt like writing a version of that, but my brain twisted it around a bit, and the song "Catch Me While I'm Sleepin'" by Pink popped into my head when I saw it and so I turned it on and started writing and my brain twisted it around a bit and I added my own stuff into it. And yeah...XDD
Catch Me While I'm Sleepin'
By DarkHybridChild
Dedicated to: Rinnai for saying it was good and not as crappy as I thought it was...WE BE LOVAHS! NEVER FORGET THAT! XD
How many times have you sat across from me?
And how many times have you told me you were leaving?
Ijuuin Enzan stood there, silently staring down at the figure sprawled out on the park bench. Hikari Netto. His rival, his enemy...his friend. They had been out here talking, having a civil conversation for once. Though the boy had complained of being tired and had laid back on the bench to rest his eyes, and pretty soon he fell asleep. Enzan had been standing there a good fifteen minutes, wondering if he should stay and wait for the boy to wake up, or leave and let him sleep, or wake him up and then leave.
Lately things had been changing, and Enzan found himself looking at the brunette in another light.
I'm not tryin' to listen 'cause it's all the same
And why (why), why are you constantly believin' that I (I)
I could ever give you what you're needin'?
Lately, the normally overzealous boy had been less happy, sporting a dazed look and sometimes a frown. He'd complain to him sometimes about life, though Enzan just waved it off, since obviously the boy knew nothing of what he was talking about. But lately, the more he saw the boy, he looked more and more paler, often saying he was tired.
And he didn't exactly know why the brunette was choosing to come to him, when he had plenty of other friends of his to choose from. Maybe it was just because he thought maybe he'd understand better, or maybe because Netto knew he wouldn't judge him. But he didn't really understand, because being close to someone was not one of his specialties and he never releated to anyone. Why was Netto looking to him now?
He didn't know, and it bothered him slightly. His feelings towards the situation were changing, and he didn't understand it at all.
Baby, baby please don't put your faith in me
I don't know what to say
'Cause it's all a dream to me anyways
At first, Enzan didn't want the brunette to rely on him to listen, to just let the boy talk and rant feely and only comment when the brunette asked him. It annoyed him, but he began to realize that in all essence, the brunette needed it. It baffled him.
He stared down at the boy, eyes sweeping over the boy's face, not liking the dark circles under his eyes or the stressful look on his face that should not be there. He didn't understand it at all. And alot of the times when the brunette talked to him, and asked him what he thought, he didn't quite know what exactly to say. And sometimes he got the feeling he said the wrong thing. And he hated to be wrong.
Sometimes days like this just felt so surreal. Things shouldn't be like this. Netto should be overly happy, bouncing about, annoying him, getting under his skin, being the loudmouth who was obsessed with eating. But now he wasn't, and it threw him in for a loop. It was strange...
You can catch me while I'm sleepin' darlin'
While I'm dreamin', too
'Cause it's a lonely, lonely, lonely place for me baby
It must get lonely for you, too
Often times he could find the boy dozing off, looking unrestful, often times shifting alot, mumbling incoheriant things as he did, a frown on his face as he dreamed. He would wonder what was 'causing him these dreams, and even why they were there.
Netto had sometimes confessed he felt alone alot, and that being around Enzan, someone who understood what being alone meant and actually was, made him feel better. Often times he asked if he felt lonely, and to that, he couldn't answer. He didn't really know. Now he thought perhaps he could. Sometimes he looked around and found himself envying groups of friends, or a family walking by past him, going about their lives with a smile and feelings of love swarming about them.
And he had grown accustomed to the boy's presence, and whenever he left it felt empty. Like he should be there to fill it, but wasn't. It tore at his heart at times. So he guessed he could say he got lonely. Or just craved attention of any sort.
Netto was about the only one who gave it to him. Sure, he was popular and famous, being the Vice-President of IPC, but he didn't want attention like that, it made him frown in disgust. The brunette was the only one who would give him the time of day and saw him for who he really was, and could challenge him, and pry at those walls he built up around himself.
He sat back down on the bench, staring quietly at the sleeping figure, mind traveling back to the dilemma he was in. To wake him up or not?
And people are always fallin' (fallin') in and out of love
And it can be pretty painful, too
And maybe, oh, maybe I'm just not strong enough
Sad but true, so tell me what's the use?
He sat there and debated it silently, watching couples and lovers walking past, hand in hand, smiling dreamily or frowning in bitterness. He wondered why people chose to let themselves get so close to others. Since they were only setting themselves up for a fall. Love was painful, as he so experianced. It would tear your heart out and leave you to pick up the pieces.
And everyone talked about how great love was when in all actuality, it wasn't. And everyone around him, they were either in love, or suffering from heartbreak, or in the process of breaking up. He shook his head. Human emotions were too complex for him. He didn't want to get close to anyone, and didn't want anyone to tear his heart out again, it was painful enough the first time.
And they would say that love was strong, and those without it were missing out on things and were weak. It made him angry at whoever came up with that, because it was wrong! He was strong, he didn't need love to get by. But obviously some did, he guessed. Someone like Netto. He basically thrived and lived off of everyone's emotions, and taking in whatever affections people offered him. It made him frown. Why was he so desprate for affection in the first place?
It made him scoff at some of the possibilities his mind came up with and he snorted outloud. still, casting his eyes back to the brunette and the grimace of sorrow etched on the boy's face made him blink in surprise. He was worried, even if he didn't like or want to admit it. He didn't want the boy to be like this. He wanted things to return to the way they were. And the fact that they weren't was saddening. But it was life, as he so knew very well.
You can catch me while I'm sleepin' darlin'
Maybe while I'm dreamin', too
'Cause it's a lonely, lonely, lonely place for me baby
It must get lonely for you, too
A soft whimper rose from the sleeping figure, and their eyes clenched, body shifting restlessly, tears forming in the corners of his eyes. Enzan watched with concern and alarm as the brunette began mumbling softly, though he couldn't make out what he was saying.
He leaned over closer, brows furrowing, with his lips frowning as he tried to make out what the brunette was saying.
"Papa... Nn..don't leave us again, please...no! Please don't leave again! Mama...mama please don't cry... I'll be better for you, I'll be more serious, please don't cry, I'll be here for you..." Tears fell from the brunettes eyes and he thrashed about, and Enzan felt his brows raising in question. That's right... Netto's father was a scientist and worked at Science Lab. He traveled around and worked alot, so Netto and his Mother must hardly see him... He frowned more. Was this why he was so different now?
Another mournful sound slipped past the brunette's lips and he kept mumbling more. "No...don't go..don't want to be alone...don't hurt mama anymore by leaving..." Enzan felt his own heart clench at the brunette's suffering. How he put up with it for so long was beyond him, and to only show it now, show how affected he was, and to him, no doubt, was a big revelation.
He suffered silently, alone, by himself and didn't let anyone see how hurt he was. So why did he finally decide it was okay to show him? He was so deep in his thoughts he didn't noticed the brunette thrash again, and a hand connected with his cheek and he snapped back with a surprised gasp. Netto tossed his head from side to side, tears still falling from his eyes, but he didn't stirr or wake up any.
Catch me when I fall asleep
Only when I'm in my dreams
Catch me when I fall asleep
Only when I'm in my dreams
Catch me when I fall asleep
Only when...
Enzan frowned more and slid off the bend and to the ground on his knees and moved over til he was hovering over the brunette and gently held his arms down to stop his thrashing. "Netto," He said quietly, trying to wake him up, though the brunette didn't stirr, and continued muttering softly.
He shook him a bit. "Netto." He said a bit firmer, though nothing happened. He sighed, eyes dulling to a dark stormy color as he watched the tears fall from the brunette's eyes. It hurt him to see the boy suffer, since even he knew that Netto shouldn't. He leaned over slightly, closer to the boy. "I..." He didn't exactly know what to say, and shook the brunette gently again, but got no response.
Leaning closer again, he let himself stop and hover a few inches from the boy's face. He wondered if he should do this or not, and looked around, seeing no one, before looking back down to the brunette, who had turned his head away, tears still falling, mouthing words he didn't know. He brought his hand up and gently turned the boy's head back towards him before placing two fingers on his lips, stilling the boy's movements. "Don't want you to cry... And," Moving his fingers away, he leaned down even further, barely touching his lips to Netto's. 'I wish that I could understand.'
Catch me while I'm sleepin' darlin'
Maybe while I'm dreaming, too.
'Cause it's a lonely, lonely, lonely place for me baby
Must get lonely for you, too
Time stood still to Enzan, and he stayed like that for a few moments, unaware of anything but that. He could feel those emotions of turmoil coming off of the boy now, could feel his hurt, and it scared him slightly.
BEEP BEEP BEEP
Enzan jumped and pulled away quickly, standing up and grabbing his PET from his waist. "Yes?" He asked, trying to will away the blush he knew was rising to his face. Blues' brow arched from behind his visor, but said nothing about it. "You have an email, Enzan-sama. It's from your father. He wants to see you in an hour."
Netto stirred, blinking groggily, the PET's beeping had roused him from his sleep. He rubbed his eyes and yawned. "Enzan?" He asked questionably. Enzan's eyes widened slightly and he turned around, fighting the urge to blush even more. "What time is it? How long have I been asleep?" Enzan sighed, checking the PET's clock. "It's 3.40, and you've been asleep for about half an hour." He answered.
The brunette's eyes widened. "Really? Why did you let me sleep so long?" Enzan looked away, out towards the trees. "Because you needed it," He answered. He turned back towards him to see the look of fright in them. "What?" He asked. Enzan shrugged, deciding he'd put the facts he knew aside, the brunette wasn't ready for anyone else to know yet. "You looked like you needed it. Your eyes have rings under them." He saw the relief flood into the brunette as he relaxed. He obviously didn't want him to know just yet. Or at all.
You can catch me while I'm sleepin' darlin'
Maybe while I'm dreamin', too
'Cause it's a lonely, lonely, lonely place for me baby
It must get lonely for you, too
He walked away a bit and turned. "I've got to go, my old man wants to see me soon." He said with distaste. Netto stood up and nodded, smiling. "Okay, I'll see you later!" He nodded and gaves a slight wave before turning and shoving his hands in his pockets and began walking off. When he reached IPC and his own office, he shut the door and fell back against it, his hand resting on his chest. He frowned, bringing his hand up to his lips. He didn't understand or know exactly why he did that, he just didn't want to see the other boy suffer, as it wasn't like him.
So why was he opening himself up to take his pain? He didn't want to hurt, so why did he let that happen? He sighed, sinking down to the floor, resting his back against the door. He didn't have the answer, and didn't know why he did, or why he was feeling like he did at that moment. He knew he was setting himself up for something, and wasn;t sure if it was good or bad.
But at this moment, he felt like he couldn't care less. At least, he knew what was troubling the boy, and could maybe now help him... When had this change happened? When had he started caring? He shrugged lightly and pushed himself up, dusting himself off. That didn't matter, it was an irrelevant question.
Right now, all that mattered was getting things back to the way they used to be.
Owari
I kind of did a weird analisys of Netto and Enzan's character, I noticed as I re-read this...but I do believe Netto would not show his pain to anyone, and it would only come out when he slept. But lately, his 'mask' (so to speak) had been cracking from the emotional overload. and Enzan, eh, shrugs no clue. XD Ah well...I like it. Not as good as it could have been, but I tried. So yeah. Review please? I'd appreciate it.