Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach
A/N: I'm still not the best at English because it wasn't my first language. Please excuse any of my grammar or spelling mistakes.
It was June 17, the saddest day for a certain ginger in Karakura. Kurosaki Ichigo wanted nothing to do with anyone today, the pain and guilt of his mother's death outweighing everything else around him. It had been eight long years since that day; the day when his mistake costed him his mother's life.
"It's my fault that she's gone..."
All over town Rukia had been searching for Ichigo, until she realized today's date. She mentally smack herself for forgetting. As she got closer to the cemetery, dark, stormy clouds rolled in and soon a light drizzle turned into an ugly downpour.
"I thought I'd find you here Ichigo."
The said person jumped at hearing his name. Putting on his signature scowl he muttered acknowledgement towards the soul reaper that visited him.
"Rukia..."
Rukia's concerned face instantly turned into a frown.
"That's all you're gonna say? I know today isn't a good day for you but I at least expected you to say more." Rukia turned to look at the depressed boy next to her and felt all her anger wash away.
"What more is there to say... I made a huge mistake and it's my fault that my mother's gone."
The ocean of rain soaked the two silent Shinigami and Rukia tried to look for words that could help Ichigo feel better and less guilty. As she was about say something, Ichigo beat her to it.
"Could you please leave me alone for today. I don't want to talk to anyone about anything, and this hideous hurricane of a weather isn't helping my mood."
All Rukia felt was pity for the boy sitting beside her. Just another poor human tainted by sins that don't belong to him.
"It wasn't you fault... I understand how you feel."
A gasp left her mouth the instant Rukia said those last words. She covered her mouth with her tiny hands but it was too late Ichigo had heard them.
"How would you ever know how I feel? How would you ever know how much my mother meant to me and my family? How would you know what it feels like to have the burden of feeling like you killed someone you love? You will never understand how I feel so don't ever say those words to my face ever again!"
Ichigo had screamed his whole speech to Rukia's face, not caring if he was being a total ass at the moment.
After having the worst things said to her face by someone she cared about Rukia couldn't take it anymore. She got up and ran as far away from Ichigo as fast as her little legs could carry her, all whist the raindrops mingled with her tears. Rukia ran in Urahara's shop not caring that her blue dress was getting the floor all wet.
"Rukia! What's the mat-" Renji never got to finish his sentence because the tiny girl sped past him like lightning.
The red head followed the trail of water to the bathroom where the door was locked shut.
Knock. Knock.
"Go away."
Knock. Knock.
"Renji, I said go away!"
Knock. Knock.
"Renji! What do you want?"
"Can I come in?"
Rukia got off the floor and opened the door for Renji and motioned for him to come in. Renji knelt in front of Rukia and noticed how small and frail she looked at the moment. He waited for her to speak but since she never did, he spoke first.
"What's been keeping you down?"
No reply.
"Come on Rukia, you can tell me anything. That's what best friends are for right?"
Finally after calming herself down, Rukia looked up at the soft and worried expression on her childhood friend's face and burst into tears all over again. Renji held her close while listening to her teary words.
"I went to check up on h-him, and he y-yelled at me when I said I understood how he felt." She knew she sounded like a cranky child right now, but she couldn't help it. His words hurted more than any blade that's ever cut her and Rukia was grateful to have Renji here to listen to her problems.
"Forget about that loser, he would never understand your pain." Renji's face was in an instant scowl, he didn't even have to hear what Ichigo said and he knew that it hurt Rukia very much.
"But the thing is... he does know half my pain. The guilt of his mother's death is exactly the same way I feel about Kaien-dono's death. The powerless pain he felt before he became a Shinigami, was the same way I felt when I had joined the Gotei 13 ."
Renji couldn't believe that Rukia could still side with Ichigo after he had yelled at her like that. He released his embrace on Rukia and exited the bathroom.
"Where are you going?" Rukia got up to follow him out.
"The rain is letting up so I'm gonna go for a walk. You stay here and dry up."
Rukia obediently listened to Renji and looked for dry clothing to change into. As Renji stepped outside he was stopped by the voice of Jinta.
"Hey freeloader, what were you and Rukia doing in the bathroom?" A smirk crawled onto Jinta's face thinking he had figured out Renji's dirty little secret.
"What was I doing in the bathroom? I was doing your mom, so why don't you go bug someone else you perverted, red-haired, brat." Renji smirked and continued his walk leaving behind a flabbergasted and thoroughly insulted Jinta.
After yelling at Rukia, Ichigo began feeling the guilt. He could feel his mother frowning upon him from wherever she was.
Meanwhile on Renji's walk he saw a familiar flash of orange hair and frowned. As he got closer to Ichigo his frown got deeper and deeper. Before Ichigo finished turning his head to see who was next to him, a rock solid fist met with his face.
"Who the hell do you think you are, hitting me in the face like that?" Ichigo raised his bewildered face to meet the fiery eyes of Renji.
"You bastard. Who the hell do you think you are, yelling at Rukia like that. You know nothing about her past and you have no right to say whatever it is you said to her. Do you know how upset she was?"
Still recovering from the punch Renji sent him and the guilt Rukia left him, Ichigo sat still in his spot waiting for Renji to go on.
"Since this is a touchy story, I don't want you running your mouth about this." Renji sat down, took a deep breath, and began to tell Rukia's story to Ichigo.
"A long time ago, me, Rukia, and three other kids lived together as a little family in our dirty town in Rukongai. In the span of ten years our family of five dwindled down to just me and Rukia. We were still useless children but we promised in front of our friends' graves that we would become Shinigami. When Rukia was about to be adopted by Captain Kuchiki she had asked me how I felt. I lied to her and said I was jealous and happy for her when I really wasn't because I wanted her to live easy and be happy. It was impossible to miss the tears she shed that day. When she got accepted to the thirteenth division, she met and possibly fell in love with her Lieutenant, Shiba Kaien."
Ichigo subconsciously tensed at the words love and Shiba, but continued to listen to what Renji was saying.
"Kaien however was already married to Miyako-san but Rukia still looked up to his wife. The Lieutenant treated Rukia like a normal person and not a Kuchiki, and he would never talk about her behind her back unlike the other jealous squad members. One day when a hollow killed Miyako, Kaien went out to avenge her. The hollow broke Kaien's zanpaktou and possessed his soul, and before Captain Ukitake could stop him, he already went after Rukia. As Rukia stabbed Kaien, he regained control of his soul and thanked Rukia for stopping him. As Kaien died in Rukia's arms, he also entrusted his heart to her. Do you understand some of her pain now?"
Ichigo stared at Renji with his mouth hanging open and his eyes as wide as saucers. He couldn't believe he said such horrible things to her when she had so much happen to her.
"I'm s-sorry." Ichigo could barely mutter the words out of his mouth.
"That day when the Captain and I came to take Rukia back to the Soul Society. We had to beat you down first. Do you remember that day? We all thought Captain Kuchiki had killed you, including Rukia. When she was locked in her tall, white, pillar all she could think about was your apparent death. You look, act, sound, and seem just like Kaien; basically she was reliving Kaien's death all over again. I don't want your apology but I'm pretty sure she would appreciate it. "
With all that said Renji stood up and began to walk away. He could sense Rukia coming this way.
"By the way Kurosaki, you better have a good apology speech ready." With a wink of his eye Renji ran off and soon was replace with the presence of Rukia.
The two Shinigami sat on the wet grass awkwardly staring at the ground, it was Rukia who spoke first.
"I'm sorry for not thinking about how you were feeling, when I said I understand. I never had a mother so I would never know how much love you had for her and how painful it is to lose her."
"Rukia..." Ichigo began. "I'm the one who should be sorry... Renji told me everything. I had no right to say those nasty things to you when I had no idea what you felt. I don't deserve to be forgiven but I hope you'll still be my friend."
A bit of pink tinted Rukia's cheeks as Ichigo sputtered his apology to her.
"Ichigo, you'll be my friend no matter what you do and I already forgave you before I came here."
The substitute Shinigami nodded his head in joy as he watched the girl next to him give him a grin, but a question accidentally slipped out of his mouth and he was sure she would smack him.
"Why?...Why do you try so hard to smile for me; when all you're feeling is the pain of suffering in the darkness of your own mind?"
"Why?... Isn't it obvious?... It's because I have you right beside me. And Renji, and Nii-sama and all our other friends."
After settling their argument the two friends fell into a peaceful silence, but Ichigo kinda wished Rukia would've just ended that statement with him and cross out Renji and her blood curdling brother.
"Hey Rukia... since I'm so much like Kaien and since Kaien entrusted his heart to you, I've decided to entrust my heart to you as well." Ichigo prepared himself to ask the next question, looking everywhere but Rukia's eyes.
"So I was wondering... c-could you entrust your heart to me as well?"
The said girl looked to the shifty orange haired teen beside her and let out a laugh.
"Ichigo, you fool. You should've known that the day I gave you my Shinigami powers, was the day when I had already entrusted my soul to you."
All of a sudden all the rain stopped and the sky cleared up, leaving a glowing cemetery, two happy Shinigami, a smirking, tattooed covered red head hiding in the bushes, and somewhere a proud, smiling mother.