You're all I'm Searching For

By: Emmithar

Rating: K

Summary: She had searched for years, looking for the man she knew she loved in the eyes of another. One shot, Greg/Sara

A/N: Just a short something I came up with, hope you enjoy it.

You're all I'm searching For

"Look me in my eyes, and tell me I'm wrong."

Greg tilted his head to one side, his eyes locking with Sara's. She stood only a breath away, her gaze dark, determined, challenging him to say what he could not. "I don't know."

His answer was soft, intimidated by her demanding stature. He knew that he had answered truthfully; the only problem lay in whether or not Sara would believe him. Greg had already turned away, trying to catch his attention in the ticking of the clock. Each second seemed to pass by slower than the last, time was slowing down.

He looked up as she blocked his gaze, watching her face but refusing to look into her eyes. He didn't want to see the pained expression, the worry…the regret. His fingers tapped on the table absentmindedly.

"What don't you know?"

Greg shifted uncomfortably. He should be this…nervous. After all, he had waited for what seemed like forever to hear those words. To hear her melodious voice ask that single question. They came as a surprise; Greg hardly doubted that she was ready for them herself.

One moment they had been joking, an easy banter floating between the two. They should have been in good spirits, coming back from court, a killer put away. It always felt good to get their guy, and Greg had done exceptionally well, or so Sara had said. They could have gone home easily, since they had been awake earlier during their normal sleeping hours, it was more than enticing. Yet somehow they found themselves here, alone in the break room, each one trying to outdo the other.

Greg had been watching Sara closely, keeping an extra eye on her. It wasn't a secret what had happened the day before. The yells, the heated voices could be heard clearly through the closed doors. It wasn't often Sara lost her temper, but when the level of her voice rose above a screaming tone, you did not want to be the other person.

Greg was one of the many that had little to no idea what had happened. He knew that Grissom had pulled Sara off her last case, it was the only reason she ended up in court with him. He also had some idea as to why. Child abuse was never easy to handle, and as hard as it was, there were limits. You could only sympathize with the victims for so long, until you were pulled under. In the end Grissom was right; it would save Sara in the end. Which was a good thing, Greg couldn't stand the thought of losing her.

The yelling had subsided, and for several long minutes it was quiet. He wasn't trying to eavesdrop, but he was worried. There were only hints that he picked up, a few words…no longer…it's over…goodbye…

He was afraid that she was leaving, and could only contain his fear for so long. As the minutes drew into hours they still found themselves sitting there, deciding to stay as their next shift was closer than the drive home would be. Finally he asked, he knew that he shouldn't but he could no longer just sit there and wonder, sit there and let his subconscious stir his thoughts until they were beyond comprehension.

Sara had laughed, a short huffing sound, her expression crestfallen. "So you heard that?"

Greg nodded, waiting for her to continue. Sitting up she smiled, telling him to forget it. She wasn't going to talk about it. There were a lot of things Greg respected Sara for; stubbornness wasn't one of them.

"You're a good friend Sara. You mean a lot to me."

He said it with truth and honesty. Sara was more than a friend; she was mentor, a possible lover, an unbelievable person. She had taught him more than he could ever learn himself, not just about the job, but about life itself. Sara had stood up for him his first night in the field, the night of bus crash; had helped him home from the hospital after the explosion in the lab. She had helped him through his first child abuse case; had spent the night with him after they had found Nick buried alive. No, she was much more than a friend. She was a part of his life, even without meaning to be.

Her head tilted to the side, fingers twitching nervously. "It's just…"

"Grissom?"

A grin crossed her face as she looked at him, doing her best not to laugh. "Yeah…it's just Grissom."

"That explains a lot," Greg kidded. He would do anything to change the mood, anything at all to see her smile again.

"Do you want to go out with me?"

Greg blinked, taking the time to really look at her. He had dreamed so many times that she would ask him out that he was no longer sure if this was real, or just some fantasy he had dreamed up.

"Like a date?"

She nodded, eager now. "It would be fun, romantic maybe."

He couldn't explain this feeling of joy that had suddenly filled him. His mouth went dry as he tried to compile a strand of coherent sentences. Part of him was grateful he couldn't answer, because shortly after another thought came to him.

"Grissom told you no, didn't he?"

Greg didn't want to hear the answer; even though she couldn't see her nod he knew that she did. The joyfulness was replaced with sorrow, regret, and pity. He was only a second choice, that's all, someone she could fall back on, someone lower than her expectations.

"I can't," Greg told her quietly. "We would…we would never work out."

If there ever was a shocked expression she was showing it now. "How can you say that?"

"Because it's the truth…I don't want to hurt you Sara, but I know that's what I'll be doing. I'm not Grissom; I can't give you what you're looking for."

She looked hurt, a pained expression crossing her face. "We didn't break up Greg…we weren't even together. You think I would just be using you…that's not true. I had to make sure I was over Grissom before I could move on, and now I'm ready."

"So that would make me second rate?"

Pushing her chair back she moved to her feet, walking over to him. "You could never be second rate Greg. You've been there for me always; I've just been so blind I haven't been able to see that. I see it now, and I know that you love me as much as I love you. You want this just as much as I do. Look me in my eyes, and tell me I'm wrong."

"I don't know…"

"What don't you know?"

Greg took a breath, the only thing that would keep him from bursting out into tears. His stature was usually better than this, but it was unfair; everything was sprung on him suddenly, Sara had turned the tables, had become the dominant one where before she had been timid and shy in their discussion.

"I want this…I do…"

"Then say yes," Sara pleaded. Her fingers touched the side of his cheek, directing his gaze back into her eyes. "Tell me what I have to do, what I have to prove."

Unwavering eyes held steady, his lips pressed tightly together as he considered his answer. He blinked, then focused on her again. "I want you to look me in my eyes, and tell me that you never loved Grissom."

For a moment a stunning silence filled the room, then her eyes darted to the side. Greg let out a bitter sigh, already knowing beforehand that she could not do what he had asked. Partly it was unfair, but it was the only way he could make her understand. If Sara saw him as second rate, then that's all he would ever be to her.

Soft fingertips touched his cheek gingerly, his eyes lifting once again. There were unshed tears in her eyes, a warm smile on her face. "Grissom who?"

Their lips met in a tender, prolonged moment, one of the first that they would surely explore. It was a relationship of chance, of trust and understanding. Six years had gone by since their first meeting, and the possibilities were just beginning. Sara had searched for years, looking for the man she knew she loved in the eyes of another. Six long years…but not a moment too late.

The End