Helicopter blades whipped the air as the chopper circled, coming in for a landing along the river bank. Two men dressed in fatigues and each carrying small backpack slung over their shoulders, stepped from it, ducking until they were clear.
It rose back into the air, circling again and disappeared out of view farther down river.
One of the men was blond, and he removed his dark aviator glasses to reveal a blue eye, with the other covered by a black patch. His companion, a dark haired, handsome fellow looked about, frowning just a little as he took note of their surroundings.
Concertina wire fencing surrounding the compound, two guard towers and lots of armed men carrying assault rifles; it was little fortress in the South American jungle.
The two men were approached by a soldier and after exchanging a few words they were escorted to a small stucco building housing the office of the Commanding officer, Captain Raul Montes.
A balding, wide-nosed man wearing a khaki uniform that could have fit his rotund girth a bit better greeted his vistors with enthusiasm.
"Ah Señor Krueger, we meet at last," el Capitan oozed, offering his hand to the blond.
"Yes at last Captain," the man named Krueger responded.
"I must say Señor your voice it sounds different from on the radio."
"Yes indeed," the blond looked to his companion. "Long distance conversations can do that sometimes. This is my assistant Mr. Rodrigo. Anything you would say to me you can say to him."
"Yes sir...Señor."
"Please refrain from calling me that. My proper title is Doctor, or at least Professor," Krueger snapped at the man." Now where are our quarters. I am fatigued from journey to this God-forsaken place."
"Sí el Profesor," the Captain groveled. "We have quarters prepared for you both in the building that houses your laboratory. I hope you will find them to your satisfaction. "
"That remains to be seen in this hell hole," Krueger mumbled.
The two were led to their promised quarters in a nearby building, this one more sturdily built with a corrugated metal room.
Once alone, their shoulders both slumped as they relaxed.
Illya Kuryakin lifted the eye patch, surveying his personal quarters and looking for any sort of bugs. He located them, one in a potted plant and another under the lamp on the table near his bed.
Napoleon walked in, holding up a notebook for his partner to read.
"My room is bugged. Yours?"
Kuryakin nodded, pointing to a small transistor radio he'd taken from his duffel. Turning up the volume; he let it play a local station broadcasting salsa music...
"El otro día caminando por la calle, Me encontré, un chivo Y el chivo me dijo a mí, Tú eres el elegido, Pero chivo pero chico, Eso no es conmigo, Chivo que rompe tambor, Con su pellejo paga, Y lo que es mucho peor, En chilindrón acab…"
"Laying it on a little thick weren't you tovarisch?" Solo raised his eyebrows.
"The Professor is...was an arrogant man, I was merely keeping with his personality."
"Well take it easy, we don't want to piss any of them off more than we have to."
"If we complete our assignment, we will we be, as you say, pissing off a lot of people,"the Russian smiled.
"No time like the present I say. Hit the lab right now chum?"
"My thinking exactly. They do not suspect we are not who we say we are and the faster we act at getting the information; the faster we can get out of here."
They stuffed their pockets with the necessary explosives and donning their lab coats; they headed to the other side of the building, happily without meeting any resistance. So far it was smooth sailing until they entered the actual laboratory.
There at one of the work stations stood a young blonde woman wearing a lab coat and when the U.N.C.L.E. agents entered, she turned her attention to them...more specifically the Russian.
"Illya? What are you doing here?" She blurted out, covering her mouth after she said it.
Kuryakin's face flushed red as she rushed to him, giving him a hug and a kiss.
"Old home week tovarisch?"Napoleon smiled,"Going to introduce me to your lovely friend?"
"Napoleon this is Svetlana Popov….KGB."
"Charmed my dear," Solo took her hand, kissing it. "Hmm, KGB chum, I thought you didn't exactly have a friendly relationship with them?"
"And you are?" She asked pointedly.
"Solo, Napoleon Solo." He tried turning on the charm, smiling at her.
"Svetlana and I know each other from our training days. I chose GRU she moved on to secret police," Illya said.
"Chto ty zdes' delayesh' _what are you doing here?" He asked in Russian.
"YA mog by zadat' tot zhe vopros o tebe Illya_I could ask the same question of you Illya?"
Napoleon watched in amusement as his partner rolled his eyes. It was nice to know he wasn't the only one who elicited that behavior from the Russian.
"I asked you first Svetlana," Illya smiled at her.
"Very well...I am here masquerading as Dr. Adolph Krueger's assistant. Now may I ask what you are doing here?"
"I am masquerading as Dr. Krueger; we are here to confiscate his research material and destroy the laboratory."
"You have captured Krueger?"
"Not exactly," Solo cringed," You see he's dead.""
That produced what sounded like a growl from the woman.
"Chyort voz'mi_ dammit!" Svetlana cursed. "I was supposed to complete the research with him!"
"That is not going to be possible and either way, we are taking his notes and research with us when we leave."
"Oh no, it is mine by rights Kuryakin. I was here first." She suddenly reached for a black book, but Illya promptly tried to snatch it from her. Within seconds the two were wrestling for it, engaging in a tug of war.
"Now now children, time to play nice." Napoleon pulled his Walther, hitting the girl with a sleep dart. Nonplussed, Illya held her as she slumped in his arms, and setting her gently down on the floor; he took the notebook from her.
"Time to set the charges," he mumbled, pulling a block of C-4 from a pocket in his field pants.
.
An unexpected voice forced the two men to an abrupt halt, freezing where they stood.
"Excuse me gentlemen but that will not be necessary," Captain Montez announced, standing in the doorway armed with a pistol in his hand. He was flanked on either side by two soldiers brandishing rifles.
"I think not,"Illya coldly replied.
"Doctor Krueger, or whoever you are. Surely you jest. I did a little homework after you arrived and discovered your ruse. The real Krueger is twenty years your senior at least, though the blond hair and eye patch were correct...you looked too young to be a man of such scientific accomplishments."
For some reason the Russian took umbrage at that statement.
"I will have you know that I earned my masters and Phd. in quantum mechanics by my early twenties…"
"Illya, don't waste your breath. This guy wouldn't know an educated man if one hit him on the head."
That was Solo's signal. He had a plan, albeit an off the cuff one as always, but still a plan.
Napoleon drew a small glass orb from his pocket and threw it hard to the floor in front of the trio. It shattered, erupting into a thick cloud of red smoke, giving him and Illya the distraction they needed to fly into action.
After some strategically placed karate chops, Montez and his men were subdued without a shot being fired.
Illya set his charges and the timer, giving them a small window to escape. Between him and Solo, they carried the unconscious body of Svetlana Popov outside, where they were met by more soldiers.
"Uh oh," Illya muttered.
"Rápidamente, se ha producido un accidente de laboratorio!" Napoleon shouted in Spanish. "El capitán y dos hombres están todavía dentro_quickly, there's been a lab accident! "The Captain and two men are still inside!"
The soldiers rushed in to rescue their Commander and compatriots.
While that new distraction was going on, the U.N.C.L.E. agents calmly but quickly walked, still carrying Svetlana, to a helicopter that had just landed.
Illya darted the pilot, taking his place after the Soviet operative was brought on board. Napoleon assumed his position in the copilot seat beside his partner and the chopper gracefully rose into the air at the hands of the skilled Russian. It circled and finally headed up river away from the compound, to a predetermined rendezvous site.
In the distance there was a loud 'BOOM, followed by several smaller ones. A bright orange and black cloud of fire and billowing black smoke appeared in the sky behind them.
"Went a little heavy on the C-4 didn't you?" Napoleon asked.
"I used a fair amount, but it was most likely the chemicals in the lab that added to the show. It was a rather spectacular explosion though, was it not?"
"Still, one à la Kuryakin," Napoleon grinned this time