A/N: Random angsty drabble...
In Order of Importance
If she sits here long enough, it will open. The door will fly open and he will just come walking through it. He will greet her, sit next to her, and go over the day's plans. Morning meeting, afternoon tea with the prime minister, dinner with the security staff and after dinner coffee with the American ambassador. Then they will retire to the bedroom where they will lay awake and talk for hours until she falls asleep in his arms. Life is just as it should be, and the world is good. If she sits here long enough, Rupert will come through that door. No hospital gown, no beeping monitors, just her best friend and his ruffled hair. Just his crooked smile and his glistening eyes. Her happiness will walk through the door and make it's way back into her heart. But, she has things to accomplish, and people to fool. She has black clothes and a brave smile to wear while gallivanting around the castle. She has food to sample, linens to choose and a trip to America to plan. She has a son to bury, and a granddaughter to meet. She has crazy in-laws and an over protective security guard to tame. She has more important things to do than mourn her losses.
"A terrible accident, indeed," she whispers, holding the newspaper in her hand. She has the truth to hide, and a broken family to fix after a suicide that rocked them all. Her son has taken what he has written to them to be the easy way out. If the word ever gets out, the monarchy will perish at the hands of the press. There are secrets to keep. Many, many secrets. There is the real reason behind Phillipe's death, and the secrets of her heart to bury. She has to remember to ignore her heart and speak with her mind. Joseph is off limits, especially now. The press will have a field day. "'Mourning Queen takes a lover' . . . that would be wonderful," she whispers, letting a single tear fall. Yes, there are more important things to do than wait for the door to open, there are more important things to do than let Joseph take her heart, there are more important things to do.