Disclaimer: School Rumble is the property of Kobayashi Jin and is under no circumstances, mine.

School Rumble is one fandom that I feel like contributing to because of the sheer crack surrounding the manga. I sincerely hope that a second season of the series will be animated in the near future and that this section of will grow with time.

Apples and Chokeholds

Lightly humming the Dojibiron theme under his breath, he rolled an apple across his school desk from side to side, catching it almost nonchalantly from time to time to prevent it from falling off. Strangely enough, his hand phone messages were not being answered. Maybe there was something defective in his mobile phone. Or maybe he was just losing the it. With a small laugh, he quickly dismissed the latter idea. That would be too ludicrous. The it was his and nothing or no one in the world could take it away from him.

He let out a sign and clutched the apple. As he was ready to take a bite into the fruit, he noticed that the fruit felt firm and well…round. Round and firm was good in his mind. And God, yes! He approved of firm and round. And big. Big would be good too. In fact, it would be excellent.

Letting out another wheezy sign, he looked around the classroom until his eyes finally rested on his ever elusive goddess, Suou Mikoto. She was having lunch with her friends as usual and was guffawing loudly at something Sawachika was telling her. Hah Miko-chin, his fair and incredibly feminine princess who incidentally packed a manly punch. He had asked her out on numerous occasions before but she had always refused. For some ungraspable reason, she had the totally wrong idea that he was only after her boobs. That was so not true. He thoroughly admired her D-sized… Where was he? Yes, Miko-chin was great and one day, she would be sharing that cozy table at the nearby café with him.

While musing about dates, he suddenly found himself staring at Ichijou, another classmate of his. She was the one with the alien-like strength. She was not really that bad. Of course, nothing compared to Miko-chin's D-sized…Oh, where was he again? Ichi-san. Not a bad girl. They had gone out a couple of times but that was because he had felt trapped, every one of those times. But he had to admit that none of those dates had been annoying. In fact, they had been quite enjoyable. Even on that occasion when he had been nearly killed and a masked Ichi-san had rescued him. Ichi-san would make it big in the professional wrestling world if she ever ventured to pursue her interest in the sport.

As he shifted his attention to the rest of the class, he noticed that Lala Gonzalez of Class 2-D had decided to join Ichi-san for lunch. They had been introduced to each other by Ichijou some time back and he had had the utmost pleasure to be acquainted with some other D-sized part of Lala-chan. Sure, he had had to suffer first but then, Tsukamoto had also joined in and had somewhat shared Lala's fury. Lala-chan, beneath that cold exteriour, was a warm-hearted person. Of that, he was sure. His eyes traveled involuntary lower as he wondered whether she had had any difficulty in removing the banana stain from her school uniform.

Suddenly he felt the surrounding air grow cold, terribly cold. The last thing he heard before slipping into blissful unconsciousness was an "I-MA-DO-RI" screamed out with a strong Mexican accent. The pain meant nothing to him.

Nothing at all.