Where is all my underwear?
Disclaimer: I own not Fake nor the characters but I do own a sense of humor so that is where this fic came from. Enjoy
Summary: Do I really need one? This is Dee and Ryo. Figure out yourself who hid whose underwear! bwahaha
Randy "Ryo" Mclean woke up as usual in his grand bachelor pad-apartment because most consider him married to his police partner Dee Laytner-and decided since he had so much time before work that he was going to take a shower. First he made sure he had a clean towel then clean...
"Where the hell did my underwear go?" he asked his underwear drawer. No reply. Then he looked in the hamper (he was pretty desperate). Nope. He looked all over every piece of furniture and the floor (hey, it could happen).
"Son of a..." he decided to call work, he certainly can't come in now. Here is how well it turned out:
"Chief, I can't come in today..." he said blushing because he is not used to lying. Well, it really wasn't a lie...
"MClean? That you? The chief is out sick today so I am filling in yet again."
"Commissioner. Oh, well, I am sick too."
"Really? Want me to come over now and help you get better? I could rub Vaseline all over your chest and help with congesting?"
"Um, no it's not...I mean, I am not that sick. Just indigestion."
"Oh in that case we have individual Rolaids in the vending machine so.."
"I CAN'T FIND MY UNDERWEAR!" he was defeated and desperate not to end up a liar.
Berkeley chuckled. "I am sure that would make a person sick. Well, did you check..."
"I checked in every possible nook and even the crannies but they are all gone." he almost whined.
"Well, just wear the ones you've..got..on...are you wearing any right now?" Berkeley asked blush rising to his features.
"...Well, no one was home last night so..."
Berkeley nose-bled. "Ahem, get your ass in here McClean." and he hung up.
"Gr shit! What am I going to do? I don't have the money to buy underwear right now. Not until after work tonight when I can get to the bank." Sadly Ryo finished getting ready for work. He had no one he could ask for a pair at 2 am.
As soon as he entered the building he knew exactly who was to blame.
"So then I said 'Step off bitch! He's happily taken!"Dee laytner happily told of last nights events to his friend.
"And by who is hehappily taken by you scoundrel?" Ryo pushed out through ground teeth.
"Oh, hey baby. What's wrong?"
"What do you think? How could you do something so...vile?"
"Oh, that, hehe look it was just a joke." Dee shrugged.
"Just a joke? Now thanks to you I can't face the commish today. He's probably nose-bleeding or passed out right now!"
"Shit you told him?" Dee asked jumping out of his chair, nearly knocking it over.
"I had to, I ran out of excuses for not being able to come in!"
"Well, when we go out the first time today well just stop by my place. I have them there." Dee said before Ryo chased him around, angry as hell!
"How could you? Did you do it and then just forget? 'Oh yeah! I stole my boyfriends briefs!'" Ryo said forgetting where he was.
"Ah, so you wear briefs huh?" Berkeley asked standing outside the chiefs office with a smug look on his face.
"Ack! Uh, that was just an expression."
Dee walked over wrapping his arms possessively around Ryo's shoulders. "Commish, don't we have cases we all need to get back to?"
"Why yes, Laytner. I just heard the ruckus and came out to help poor Ryo beat the living shit out of you."
"Thank you but I can fight my own battles if you don't mind." Ryo shrugged Dee off and then turned on his heel and stalked over to his desk.
"Sorry, Ryo, but right now we have a meeting." Berkeley said turning down the hall to the conference room.
Ryo groaned."I don't believe this" He said as he moved his head back. "You! You are sooo not getting any all weekend! Did you think I'd just laugh and say 'Oh you!'?" he said to Dee pointing his finger at him.
"Well, I didn't expect that you would not be wearing any last night. You should have called." Dee purred in Ryo's ear.
Ryo smiled at him. "JJ, Dee is looking for you. He wants to sit next to you at the meeting." he glared at Dee before sitting next to Janet, it was a meeting for everyone on the floor.
'This is the longest meeting of my life. God I wish I had underwear on right now. Look at that bastard over there. I don't feel the slightest bit guilty. Its not as bad as having the one you love stealing your underwear. Wow, he's taking amazing notes. I had no idea he could take them so well. I guess this is the Dee Laytner that was before I came into his life. This meeting is so lame. Just remodeling and other shit. God I miss underwear.' Ryo thought instead of paying any attention to the meeting. (naughty RYO!)
After the meeting Berkeley let Dee and Ryo head to Dee's to get Ryo underwear, better than having an uncomfortable detective.
"So, why exactly did you steal them, and when?" Ryo asked before taking a bite into his big mac.
"Well, it was right after dinner. You were not feeling it so I left. Remember? But before I left I rummaged through your hamper and drawers for your underwear. I got the idea from a corny movie and now here we are. But Ryo, I really thought you'd be wearing some so..."
After a long pause "Why did you take such good notes at such a lame meeting? I don't see you taking good, or any, notes when we first hear about a case much less a pointless one like this. Why did you do it?"
"Well, I guess that I did it because you probably felt too uncomfortable to concentrate so I took notes for the both of us."
Ryo was in mid-bite when he heard this. "You took notes, for both of us?" tears were threatening to threaten out.
"Well, yeah, it IS my fault that you were uncomfortable, after all." Dee pulled over in front of his place.
Staring at Dee, Ryo said "Oh shit. Dee that was so thoughtful of you! Let's get me some underwear." and he kissed Dee on the cheek. They got out and into Dee's apartment.
"Get me some underwear and you too." Ryo said before running into Dee's bathroom.
"Huh? I am so confused." Dee said before complying.
"Get your ass in here quick, stupid!" Ryo yelled from the bathroom.
"Coming lover!" Dee yelled grabbing 2 pair of underwear.