A/N: Sorry this is so short, I got bored in bio and this is what came out instead of the notes I was supposed to be taking. :D Please review, let me know what you think!
I watch from a distance as Roger's retreating figure disappears beyond the shadows until I can't make out his silhouetted form anymore. His words, still fresh in my mind, sting and there is only one way I know how to forget, to numb the pain, both physical and emotional, that has been digging into me and clinging, never letting go, for weeks on end.
As I desperately scrounge in my pockets for money and hurry over to the park, I try to think of anything I can other than that image of Roger getting into the car and driving away. How the hell did I get here? It seems only yesterday I was knocking on his door with my candle, such a short time ago that everything seemed to be going right for once. But now here I am once again, living on the streets, too sick to hold a job and too depressed to even want to. My boyfriend, the only person I have ever really truly loved, left me because stupid me got scared and cheated on the one person who has ever really cared about me.
You'll never share real love until you love yourself, I should know…
As his harsh words begin to ring in my ears again I pick up my pace, desperate now to make this relentless pain go away. Everything is swirling around in my head…my thoughts are getting jumbled and the only thing that makes sense is the reality that Roger left, and is probably never coming back.
I finally reach my destination and hurry over to the dark figure sitting, isolated, in the shadows of the secluded trees in the corner. He laughs, of course, when he sees I've come back. Always crawling back to him, time after time, though I tell myself over and over again that I never will. Yet here I am, once again giving into the sweet temptation that only he has to offer.
But I don't care as I walk swiftly, though trying to look casual despite my racing heart and ragged breathing, to the secluded section of the park that seems to be reserved for junkies like me. I sit quickly, my heart pounding, my head swarming with images and memories of Roger, as I set to work melting the white powder in my spoon and filling the syringe. As I push the cool needle into my skin I think of how this is my only solace…the only one I've ever known. And as the drugged haze begins to take over my mind, the heroin coursing through my veins, soothing my shaking body, I realize that my only release is the thing that's killing me slowly.