A/N: HAPPY NEW YEAR! Anyhoo, this is pure fluff-but enjoy. No BETA, so all mistakes are mine.
I have had my wedding day planned ever since I knew what a wedding was.
It's not as if it's been the same wedding I had planned when I was a three year old-it wasn't a princess wedding, and even though there had been a chance at having one, I didn't end up getting the white and gold coach pulled by the horses. It wasn't the large, dramatically oversized one I had planned as a seven year old, and even though I wanted a different future wedding every year, the only one that ever stuck was the one that lay in an old scrapbook, written by the 12 year old me.
It's not perfect down to every last detail-even the groom isn't the same one as I planned, although Nate's managed to secure a spot as the best man. The flowers aren't exactly the same-a slightly different shade of purple for one bunch, although a much prettier one. There isn't the 1000 guests I had originally wanted (was I really like that when she was younger?), but rather half the amount-although he still claims it's a ridiculous amount of people to have, he didn't stop me from inviting all of them. Well, 450 of them-he knew some of the guests, at least, regardless of Nate's joking remarks. It's not exactly the dream wedding I had planned, but it's somewhat better. 500 guests in the Palace to see me marry the man I love-it's perfect.
The bridesmaids, though originally meant to be Kati, Isabel, Hazel and Penelope have become three girls I know via college, as well as his little sister. Serena is still my maid of honour-I would've been a disaster without her, especially since I considered breaking the no seeing each other before the wedding rule on several occasions. Whilst they're not the original ones I had in mind, they're true friends, and that's all I really want on a day like today.
Regardless of my mother's and Lily's claims that's it completely normal, I feel as if getting cold feet is wrong. As if I'm betraying him somehow. And it's not as if the fact that all men get cold feet too is helping me-the fear of getting left at the altar isn't a good one-it's probably worse than the feeling of leaving someone at the altar-which he'll tease me about if Serena lets it slip, and knowing her, she probably will.
But strangely enough, that's the comforting part. That despite everything, we're still the same people back when we were college sophomores, and still act the same way around each other-just a slightly more affectionate. I remember mother once telling me that the best relationship is one were you not only love the person, but you like them. And maybe that's why we work well together-because we do like each other. Sure, I hate him at times, especially when he refuses to let me be right in an argument-although his stubbornness has grown on me-but a majority of the time, all I feel for him is love and like. And even though pretty much everyone teases us about it because 'we used to hate each other', I've never actually enjoyed being with someone before as much as I enjoy being with him. And that's why Serena claims we're perfect for each other-after she got over her stint of refusing to talk to us because we betrayed her, that is-and maybe she's right. Maybe that's why we're perfect together. Among other reasons, anyway.
If I'm completely honest, however, I've never really given much thought about our relationship up to this point. I know he has-he wrote a book about it, the bestselling sequel to Insider. He was reluctant to do a sequel at first, but eventually he decided to do so. I'm not sure if I had anything to do with it or not, and he refuses to tell me. I like to think that I did.
Grinning, I take a seat on the large bed at the Palace Hotel Room I stayed at overnight, as my mother had gone to extremes to make sure I still had the dream venue I always wanted. I don't know if it was to make up for years of coldness, or if she really wanted me to have my dream wedding. I don't know, but I think it's her own little way of saying I love you.
The book in my hands, however, is the best way anyone's ever said I love you to me. Of course, it was released three year after we had begun dating, and we'd already cleared the I love you hurdle when I left Louis standing at the altar and spent the next few months in the Hamptons with him, but he had claimed that the dedication was the one thing I had to read before I read the book. Before I did anything else once he handed it to me, I had to read the dedication.
Whilst I had no idea what is was about, I did so. And I'm glad I did, because even know, 9 months on, it's still one of the most romantic things anyone's ever done for me.
Dear the real Claire,
There's this girl, who is basically everything I hate about the Upper East Side distilled into one 95-pound, doe-eyed, bonmot-tossing, label-whoring package of girly evil.
And she's the girl I want to marry.
And taped beside that was a ring.
Glancing down at my hand now, I look at the ring in question. It's not the one I dreamed about having-far from it, actually-but it's perfect, and I couldn't ask for anything more.
The door opens, and I look up to see daddy, with a sad smile on his face and in a suit I assumed my mother forced him to buy-she had this idea that came out of nowhere, that all my family should be colour coordinated. I didn't object to it, and considering his family didn't have to do so, neither did he. Now, however, I'll admit it's a little bit weird. But I don't really focus on that as daddy takes my hands and smiles at me.
"You look beautiful, Bear" he says, and I smile, because that's what I spent four hours, along with hair and makeup artists, trying to achieve.
He of course had claimed that I would look beautiful no matter what, but a girl has to look perfect on her wedding. The dress, my dream dress, which my mother spent days trying to perfect has been tightened and sewn to fit me perfectly. It's the normal wedding dress white, with a floor length skirt and detailed bodice. It's the dress I've dreamed about having ever since I was a little girl, the dress I've always wanted. My hair, after nearly an hour of hairstyles being tried, is in a loose, low bun, the veil attached to a white headband adorned with tiny Swarovski crystals. The shoes are ones specially picked out by his sister, white satin shoes barely visible due to the dress. It's perfect.
Daddy smiled sadly, wiping a tear away, and I thanked God for waterproof mascara, otherwise the two hours spent on makeup would've gone to waste. He hugs me, and I feel just like a little girl again, playing her dream wedding to her prince.
"So" he smiles" holding me at arms length "Have you got it all? Something old?"
"My first ever pearl earrings" I smile, because the story behind them is without a doubt one of my favourite memories. But I think daddy would agree that's it now the time to go down memory lane.
He smiles "Something new?"
"Veil."
"Something borrowed?"
"Serena lent me her diamond necklace" I reply, fingering the small drop necklace hanging around my neck. It's sad to think that if Serena had never gotten over 'the big betrayal', I would have a completely different maid of honour, and I wouldn't be wearing the diamond necklace around my neck. It's wouldn't of felt right without S, seeing as we had planned our wedding together-perhaps that's why he let us do all the planning, or it could've been because I told him all he had to do was show up."
"Something blue?"
I hold out my hand, showing him the tiny sapphire in one of my many rings. It's not a special one, but my mother insisted that I wear it. Despite everything, I think she wanted as much input as she could have to make the day special.
"Well" daddy wipes an eye, and I can feel my own welling up with tears "It's time for you to get married."
He takes my hand and links his arm through mine, and before I step through the doors to take Cyrus on my other arm, before I walk down the aisle with Serena and my bridesmaids, before I marry the man I love, my soulmate, I assure him that he'll always be my father.
"He's a very lucky man."
And as I walk down that aisle, all doubts and bad scenarios that were racing through my head are gone, as I see the smiling man at the end of the aisle, my soulmate, the man I'm prepared to spend the rest of my life with, I realize that while he may be a lucky man, I'm the luckiest girl in the world to be marrying Dan Humphrey.