This spawned from my waiting at the airport. My dad and I were waiting at the airport for my plane to come so that I could get on it and he just so happened to be reading a Survival Handbook. WhHy? I don't know. But I looked at it, and I was thinking about how to finish my Akatsuki story. No ideas there, sorry. But still, I had this idea to write a '20 themes thing' like The Twenty Things About Ichimaru Gin or whatever...about Akatsuki survival methods. I've interviewed Deidara and he has so kindly agreed to give me some help on this topic.

HOPE YOU LIKE!!! BTW, if you don't know standard safety procedures, you won't get this story at all.

bold is Deidara, regular is me.

1. So...what do you do when there's a fire and you're trapped in the burning building?
That's obvious, yeah! You just go to the nearest window and you jump out, unn!

2. Which would you do in a fire, take the elevator or the stairs?
The elevator, unn! It gets you there faster! (1)

3. Let's say you're outside, and then a lightning storm strikes. What do you do?
You go and stand under a tree, unn. I can't believe you don't know that yet!

4. Suppose it started to rain. It continues raining for several days. It starts to flood. What do you do?
Unn...well, since I'm very loyal to Sasori-danna, I'd grab him and jump on Zetsu's shoulders because he's the tallest and can get me to safer ground, unn!

5. What if you were in Louisiana and then Hurricane Katrina hit again...but under a different name?
Well, first off, I wouldn't BE in Louisiana in the first place, unn. I don't even know WHERE THE HECK IT IS! But if a hurricane hit, I suppose I would use the step-outside-and-wait-for-a-cow-to-come-by-so-you-can-ride-on-its-back-to-safety technique, yeah!

6. If a drought occurred in Japan and the only thing left to drink was polluted water, what would you do?
I'd cut open Zetsu, unn! He's like the softer, human version of a cactus!

7. What would you do if a blizzard suddenly started up and you were caught outside?
Isn't that obvious, unn? You'd light a fire to keep warm! (2)

8. If there was a famine in Japan and you had a change of conscience so that you stopped stealing from others, how would you get food?
I would kill Kisame in his sleep, cut him into little pieces, stick the pieces onto sharp sticks, and there you have shark kabobs, unn!

9. What would you do in an earthquake situation?
Unn...you're stupid for an Asian. (no racism intended) You should go and stand in a sliding door!

10. Let's say you're outside wearing your cloak and everything, and then a heat wave begins. What do you do?
I'd go and stuff myself in the freezer, unn.

11. If you were at the cashier in a store in the mall, and a man in black comes in and points a gun at you, what do you do?
I scream and hide behind the counter...and then I realize my credit card's maxed out and I go ban kai on that bi/ch! (haha I know bankai is from Bleach...)

12. What if you woke up one morning and realized that somebody had robbed your house? What would be your first reaction?
I would do something emo and...hide behind my hair...(3)

13. What would be your second reaction? (read above question)
I'd shoot myself...the robbers would have taken my origami birds and I just couldn't LIVE without my origami birds! starts to cry

14. In the event of a tsunami, what would you do to save yourself?
I would grab my surfboard and hit those killer waves, unn! (4)

15. What if your car got stuck in the mud during a flood? What would you do?
I would walk the rest of the way home. Somebody can take that car, I don't care. It was a worthless piece of junk anyway...it used to belong to Leader, unn. kicks car

16. You are going to a masquerade ball tonight. What do you wear?
I'd make a giant bird and wear it! Then I'd eat people and I could be like Zetsu, unn!

17. If a highly dangerous killer broke out of jail, what would be your first course of action?
Are you talking about me, yeah?!

18. If you are in a torture situation with ANBU from another country and you are a wanted criminal, what do you do to avoid torture?
Do the whole cute act and then when they get near, spit and claw at their faces, unn!

19. What is your first immediate course of action when you realize that you have been poisoned?
I'd scream my head off until somebody came along and noticed me, unn. It's the number one way to get attention you deserve, yeah!

20. When you have a broken bone, how do you handle it?
I don't handle it. I ask somebody else to handle the situation for me, unn. I mean, life is taxing enough without me having to worry about that sort of trivial thing, unn!

That's all for today. I know it's random, but you gotta love it!

1. Beside every elevator I have seen, there is a sign that says 'Do not use elevator in event of fire. Use stairs.'

2. But how would Deidara light a fire if it was snowing? He doesn't have fire powers does he?

3. Inspired by Izuru from Bleach...he's like Deidara except not quite so outgoing. Ahh you gotta love Kira...I LOVE YOU KIRA!

4. I actually went and did some research on tsunamis and the waves that come from tsunamis are 'NOT SURFABLE.'

have a great day you guys and DON'T FORGET TO REVIEW MY STORIES!!! 3 muah you guys are the greatest!