Why? How could they do this to me? Am I just not good enough for them? Are they really going to just throw me away for a second time?
Staring down the street, cold November air biting at reddened cheeks, I kept my unstable feet moving toward the now vacant Sheriff station. Pebbles that met the unfortunate fate of my boots ricocheted off light poles and brick walls as I made my way through deserted streets. It was well past midnight at this point, it had to be. The moon was high in the sky and the stars shone like millions of small fireflies, winking in and out of existence. But that could just be my drunk induced vision making it seem that way.
Clutching a half empty liter bottle of whiskey in one hand and a duffel bag in the other, I blinked slightly as I stared around at my surroundings. "Well shit." After wandering for what seemed like hours looking for the station, I realized that my feet had decided to bring me to another destination entirely. Looking up at the Mayoral Mansion, I noticed a light on downstairs still. Regina and I had been getting along a lot better lately but I don't think she would call us best friends. Not even sure who I could consider a best friend.
"Miss Swan are you going to keep staring at my home all night or do you have other business to attend to?" A sultry voice sounded just next to my ear.
Jumping, I dropped my duffel, and put the whiskey bottle close to my beating heart. "Jesus Regina, you scared the shit out of me. When and how did you get outside without me noticing?"
"Dear I've been trying to get you to notice me for a few minutes now. Is there something utterly fascinating about my house or did you have something to ask me? What are you doing out so late anyway?"
"Woah, easy on the questions Regina. I'm just out um...patrolling ya know. Sheriff duties and all that jazz. I was just on my way to the station now actually."
"With a duffel bag and a bottle of whiskey? How is it that I do not believe a word you are saying? Plus you better not be patrolling while intoxicated." The glint in her eyes showed a small amount of concern and a glint of a challenge but from the quirk of her ruby red lips I knew she was teasing me slightly.
"Ok you caught me. I really am headed to the station though to drop my bag off at least." A little lie wouldn't hurt right? The raise of her perfectly sculpted eyebrow showed she still didn't believe a word that came from my mouth. Raising my bottle in a mock salute, I grinned. "I'll see you around eh Madame Mayor?"
"Just be careful dear, I would hate to have to replace you. I don't think Charming idiots are easy to find no matter how quickly your parents wish to try and produce them. I am slightly fond of you as you are quite different than the two dunderheads. Plus if your insufferable father keeps pestering me about things that I have not done yet, I may have to find you a new Deputy." Catching the smirk on her face, she started back up the walk to her porch. "Oh, by the way. I love the new haircut Em-ma." Winking at me, she disappeared behind the front door. The light downstairs clicked off and all went quiet in the large white house.
"Night Madame Mayor," I whispered as I stared at the house for a few more seconds. Heading back down the sidewalk, I pulled my hat from my head and eyed my short locks in a passing store window. The sides had been cropped close to my skull leaving only the top longer in nearly a faux hawk but combed forward. Running my fingers through my short locks I sighed as I thought of how I got this in the first place and shook my head? "Stupid kids and their fucking gum."
Stumbling into the station, I closed the door tight before throwing my jacket over my chair in the office. Setting my duffel bag down, I grabbed a pair of sleeping shorts from them along with a tshirt. Kicking my boots and socks off I padded to the locker room that no one really used other than to store useless crap or extra equipment. Changing quickly, I threw my dirty clothes into an empty plastic bag. Dropping the bag off in my office I grabbed the bottle once more and sat in the chair.
Staring at the bottle in my hand, I felt a surge of anger. Anger at my idiotic, backwards thinking, close minded parents. It shifted to the narrow minded fairy tale people that walked around this town thinking they still lived in a backwards podunk like the Enchanted Forest and lived by forest rules. Finally it settled on the perfect smile under perfectly painted lips and of course fucking perfectly coifed hair of the head of the town and her brat of an adorable happy go lucky son. Growling quietly, I chucked the nearly empty bottle across the room, smashing it into the closed door of my office.
Not able to sit still anymore, I stalked across the room, not even noticing the bite of glass in the bottom of my feet as I stalked to the workout room. Throwing a couple of punches at the heavy bag, my breath coming in harsh pants, ignoring the reddening of my knuckles as I threw kicks in as well. "Stupid Parents. Stupid Town. Stupid Regina!" Snarling as I kicked and punched, skin finally breaking open on sore hands. Sweat dripping down a reddened face, I sat against the wall. Chest heaving for air, my legs gave out as I slid down and held my head.
"Why? Why me?" Hugging my knees to my chest, I sobbed into them as I slowly succumb to exhaustion.
Their eyes were everywhere. Glaring, scornful. Watching her every move.
"You little trollop! You will never be good enough! Your own parents didn't even want you, why would we want to keep you? Did you really think we loved you?"
No. Not again. Please. Covering my ears I tried to block out the voices, eyes already shut tight against the glares.
"Emma, this is your eighth foster parents in a year, why can't you just keep a home? Must you always be trouble?"
I don't mean to be. I try to be good I swear I do. It's not my fault. I promise I'll be good.
"Filthy dyke. Why don't you go whore yourself out to someone else? If you touch my girlfriend again I'll kill you!"
"I'll show you what a real man can do."
"Your kind is not welcome."
Shadows surrounded me, faceless figures and unidentifiable voices circling me, baiting me. Their hands grabbed at my hair, shirt, and skin slowly pulling me apart inch by inch. A silent scream tore through my throat as I reached for the only spot of light. The soft warmth filling me as I reached for it, trying to drag myself through this eternal darkness. The smell of apples and spice filled me to the core, giving me strength to break through. That commanding voice telling me to wake up.
"Time to wake up."
I'm trying. Please don't leave I'm almost there.
"It's time to open your eyes Miss Swan."
Just a few more inches.
"Miss Swan, you will open your eyes."
Just a little more.
"Now Miss Swan."
"I…"
"I am geez. Hold your horses Madame Mayor."
"I assure you that there are no horses here to hold Miss Swan. Now can you explain to me why you are asleep against the wall in the exercise room of the Sheriff's station and not at home sleeping?" A thin brow arched as brown eyes bore into my green.
"Just thought I'd come in a little early is all. Got bored sitting here and decided to work out for a little bit. Got tired and fell asleep that's all."
"That does not explain the broken glass and whiskey all over the office floor or why your feet are bleeding." Those imperious eyes bore into me, catching me in my lie. My chest constricted once more as pain bubbled in my throat, tears prickling my eyes, and anger finally washing over me like a tidal wave.
"Maybe I'm just sick of it all Regina!" Getting up I pushed her aside and moved back to the punching bag, giving it a few jabs.
"Sick of what exactly? Drinking yourself silly and passing out? Because I'm quite sure I would be sick of that too."
Punching the bag once more, I whirled on the snarky woman with a snarl. I could feel my blood boiling under my skin, my gaze near deadly. "I'm sick of people wanting me to be perfect! I'm the Savior." I spat the word out like acid on my tongue. "The perfect little princess of Snow White and Prince Charming. I'm supposed to prance around in dresses, marry a Prince of their choosing, and just follow around like a brain dead bimbo, dancing to their every fucking command. No one seems to give a shit what I want! They weren't there for the first 28 years of my life and now they think they have the right to dictate what I do? They are the ones that chose to put me in a fucking tree because Rumplestiltskin told them too. That glittery imp is the cause of all of this and they actually listened to the slime ball."
"Emma you need to calm down."
A cool soothing hand rest against my cheek as another pulled me in. The sweet smell of apples and spice filled my nose as the hand migrated to my hair, running through my now short locks. Nails gently scraped my scalp in a soothing motion, eyes closing of their own volition, and tears came unbidden and onto the blue silk blouse beneath my head.
"Shhh. It's ok. Let it out."
A soft breath caressed my ear, sending shivers down my spine. My body shook with silent sobs, all the pain that I had bottled up coming to surface. "Why? Why me?"
"I don't know Emma. I really don't. But how about we clean you up and get you into a proper bed for rest?"
"No. I'll get cleaned up, but I have to do paperwork. My boss is a stickler for my work being in on time you know. A real bitch that one."
A soft chuckle vibrated in the chest below my chin and a small smile came to my own face. "I'm sure your boss won't mind if her Sheriff took a day off. Now come on and let's clean that glass out of your feet. Why in the word you stepped in the glass I'll never know."
"It's just one of those things that you don't realize you did until after the fact."
"You never did explain why you cut your hair Miss Swan."
Running my fingers through my hair I sighed. "Yeah. It's something that I've been meaning to do for a while, but I finally got the excuse to do it yesterday. Some punk kids in Snow's class decided to put gum in my hair while they were touring the station and seeing the kinds of things I do all day. It got deep enough in my hair that I had to close crop it in order to get it all out. But like I said I've been meaning to cut it short again anyway. I only grew it out to make my bounty hunter job easier."
The curious look on her face was amusing to say the least as she contemplated my answer to her. "I don't think I quite understand Miss Swan. Why would you want to cut your hair short again?"
"No reason." Slowly standing, I smiled wide at her and groaned at the sharp points digging into the soft pads of my feet. "Help would be nice in getting this glass out."
"Your streaks of good luck astound me."
"And your snarky comments bring light to my darkest of days Madame Mayor." The roll of her eyes brought a small smile to my lips as I hobbled to a bench and sat down. "So Doc, what's the verdict? Am I gonna live?"
Manicured fingers took my right foot for inspection, gently grazing the pieces that jutted out from my skin, a hiss of pain following. "It looks like we won't have to amputate the limbs at all and you should be good as new in a few days. Just stay off your feet for a bit, or only light walking. I am sad to say though that you have an incurable disease."
"A disease?"
"Yes. It's completely hereditary mind you so you can blame those Charming parents of yours." A twinkle in the brown pools drew me in.
"What kind of disease are we looking at her Doc?" Curiosity was getting the better of me as I leaned forward slightly, my right foot still suspended in air.
"I hate to say it Miss Swan, but you have Idioitis. I'm not sure how long you have to live, but you will be stuck with this disease for the rest of your life I'm sorry to say."
"Ha ha very funny Regina."
"Well thank you. I would say that was pretty funny if I do say so myself. Now hold still while I get this glass out of your foot. The thought process that your brain must go through in order for you to pull things like this must be terrifying. How in the world did you not feel this? Some of these are least an inch deep."
"High pain threshold. That's all." Leaning back, I closed my eyes and let the woman do her work. I couldn't believe that the one person that I thought would never come and find me did, and the ones that I secretly hoped would never showed their faces. Why would they after what I pulled last night? No, they are going to be off in their own little world for quite some time.
"Other foot Miss Swan."
Looking down, I noticed fresh bandages already encased my right foot and blood covered cotton balls littered the ground beside the brunette. "Well that was fast."
"You were off in your own little world for bit. You didn't even flinch as I pulled the glass out or when I covered your foot in antiseptic." She said as she grabbed my other foot, inspecting the damage done to that one as well.
"Oh. I'm sorry. I was just thinking about something is all."
"Don't think too hard now. Wouldn't want your pretty little head to explode now would we? I refuse to explain to Mommy and Daddy dearest how their daughter died." A smirk turned up blood red lips, a twinkle in mocha eyes.
"Death by thinking. Now you don't give me enough credit Regina. It may not be my strong suit, but Henry got his smarts from somewhere and it sure as hell was not his father. Now, his knack for escaping things and getting into trouble? Yeah maybe. Smarts? That was all me. Well, and of course you. You did a great job raising the kid."
A small smile of victory graced my lips as I watched a small pink tinge bloom on olive skinned cheeks. "Do not think flattery will get you out of trouble Miss Swan. Now, call Miss Lucas or Charming and see if one of them can come and cover your shift for you today. You are coming back to my place and staying where I may keep an eye on you so you cannot do any more damage to yourself."
"Whatever you say Madame bossy pants. Lead the way." Standing up with a wince, I followed her out to her Mercedes and slid into the passenger seat, sliding the lock over on my phone. Dialing the familiar number I placed the phone to my ear. "Hey Rubes, think you can cover the station until David gets there?"
"Yeah. That's not a problem. Plus I can get free of Granny glaring at me for breaking those plates the other day. Hey, Snow came looking for you earlier. Have you talked to her?"
Rubbing my now pounding forehead, I sighed. "No. I don't really want to speak to them right now."
"Do you know why she looks so upset?"
"No, and I don't care right now why. Look, if they ask again where I'm at, I'm staying with a friend ok? I don't want them to come looking for me."
"No problemo. I'll head over there right away, but I need to be back by lunch rush. Will David be in today?"
"Should be, but I want you in charge until you need him to take over. If there is an emergency, I want you making the calls ok? You were my first Deputy if you remember."
"Yeah ok. See ya Ems."
"Yeah bye." Hanging up the phone, I leaned my head back, my head just pulsating. Opening my eyes slowly, I turned my head to the side to get the sun from lashing me across the face. Staring back at me were a pair of worried chocolate orbs. "What?"
"Are you sure you are ok Emma?" The look of concern on her face made tears sting my eyes, but stubbornness refused to let them fall.
"Yeah of course. Just a lot going on is all. I'll be fine after a good rest." Smiling, even I could tell it was fake, and the look on her face told me that she didn't believe me either. When that smooth hand once more caressed my cheek, I stared at her in confusion.
"You don't need to put up your walls around me Emma. I've known enough pain, and seen that same look to know what is going on. If you need to talk, know that you have a friend."
I couldn't stop the tears this time if I tried. The sincerity in her voice just lanced my heart, breaking it open even further. The dam within me burst as I leaned forward with a choked cry, burying my head into her neck and sobbing. Fingers weaved through my hair once more as I cried into that slim neck. A soft humming drifted through my ears, soothing my harried soul.
"Let's get you to bed."