Author's note: Also those of you that are not members here can leave a review. So please do it! ; ) Thanks to those who have reviewed the last chapter!!! : )
I always wanted to write a flashback to the very first Changes and Logan's thoughts about the twins.
I'm sorry that it took so long to put this chapter up. I was quiet busy with university and stuff.
I hope you enjoy this chapter. It was a bitch to write.
Please let me know what you think!
Changes Sequel – III. War + Epilogue Part 1
They were small.
At least to him… He could easily hold them in one hand, if necessary.
While he watched them sleeping on his huge bed, he tried to figure out what he thought about them. Sure there had been a time when he had thought about being in a situation like this, had asked himself if he could handle such a situation, if he wanted it… Every time he had watched people passing by he had wondered, if something like this would ever happen to him. Now it had. He hadn't been too happy about it first, he admitted that and he wasn't too happy still. The shock that they were here, in front of him, was still a big one. How was he supposed to handle this new situation anyway? His far too large hand reached carefully out to touch one of the way smaller ones. They seemed so fragile…and that they were his responsibility now scared him even the more…
There were too many questions bothering him, too many running around in his head. What if there were others? What if he had someone somewhere and they were worried? He couldn't remember… Maybe he had one before and something bad had happened? Or maybe that one was looking for him, waiting for him?
Only shaking his head and scolding himself for such sentimental thoughts, his eyes went back to them, still wondering how he was feeling about them… He somehow felt lost, helpless, alone, curious, sad…. Happy? Yes, maybe some part in him felt happy. He wasn't too sure. The whole circumstances were too new for him. Still, a smile became visible when he noticed the yawn and he chuckled. Yes, he felt definitely happy. His heart was bursting with joy and warmth, feelings that were foreign to him and when they appeared he liked to keep them to himself. Still, he couldn't figure out the most important thing about them…
He had an idea, two actually, but mistrustful as he was his mind immediately began to analyze why he had come up with those ideas, why them, why not something else? Were they a link to his past? Something or someone he knew? Sighing, he reached out and carefully stroked over the softness, took in the scent and hoped that she would be able to see them soon, too. Still, why had he come up with those names…? It didn't matter, he had made his choice and would stick to it.
When one of them yawned once more, he decided to let them sleep on the bed for tonight, got up to get an additional blanket and tucked them in. What else was he supposed to do?! After just frowning at them for a moment, he leant in to kiss their heads, figured that he must have done something right since he received little sighs and content faces in return. Smiling, he stroked over the soft shock of hairs once more, before he lay down on the opposite side, head propped up in one hand and eyes continuing to stare at them.
Even if he wasn't so sure how to interpret the warmth in his chest, he knew one thing he was completely sure about: they were his and would ever be his, they were his life and he would do anything do keep them safe, if anyone ever dared to hurt them, he would hunt those persons down and kill them, he would gladly and voluntarily die for them and it would definitely kill him to lose them. No matter what, he would rather rod in hell then let anything happen to them. Tiredly, he settled down and watched them sleeping for a good while, before he, too, drifted off, still wondering why the names Jack and Lily seemed to be so familiar to him…
"This is disastrous…," the Cap said and shook his head. He stood on the top floor of Stark Tower, arms crossed and watched how his team was on high alert, Pepper running around with a phone attached to her ear, trying to get through to anyone, while the rest was more or less still in shock. He knew they had a bad feeling after leaving the battle scene but no one of them had ever expected that. His eyes looked at the clock nervously. It was nearly 0:10 a.m., they were tired but mostly scared. Everyone in the room was aware of the fact that it was just a matter of time before their tower was the next target. He recalled the broadcast that had been aired exactly at midnight and was well aware of what it meant for them…
The screen had been black first but sprang to life next. In front of the camera was a man, at least he had human features, flanked by Sinister, Trask and a feral looking man, Wildchild as they guessed. The dark and cruel man in the middle was wrapped into a majestic black coat, his dark, cold, red eyes staring right into the camera, sending chills down ones spine. Apocalypse, very much alive and sitting in the oval office.
"My fellow homo-superiors," his deep voice roared and behind him Sinister smirked. "Today is January 1 2018, the day of the beginning of my reign, the end of the United States of America and the beginning of Utopia," he announced self-assured. "From now on, there will be only my law, no more constitution, no more human rights. No more humans! Those who do not yield to me will face extinction and those mutants that refuse to obey will face things worse than hell itself. It's for you to choose which side you are on. The side of the past or the side of the powerful future," he went on and paused for a moment. "And don't be mistaken. There will be no escape! No matter where you are hiding, we will find you. Anyone who dares to hide humans or mutants lower than level 3 will face death with no exception. In my state there will be no weakness, in my state there is no room for abominations like sick, disabled or homosexual scum! Every one who sides with this trash, will be treated as their equals! Don't try to run, my fellow Utopians, the authorities are under my command and have the order to shoot scum at sight. As I said, the decision is yours! Just accept the change that has finally come and serve your new master! Fortissimus quisque tantum superset!"
The screen had changed and Trask was now shown, in the background the burning remains of the X-mansion displayed on a screen. "As you can see here," the man said and pointed at the scene behind him, "the authorities have already reacted to an Anti-Apocalypse group that has been hiding under the command of Charles Xavier. The new government condemns every group that does not serve the true and holy purpose that is to serve the new master! Therefore, the new law of the state forbids groups of every kind, except those that are founded to serve the ultimate goal, which is the paradise of our master. All mutants above level 3 are therefore bound to report Anti-Apocalypse groups, no matter of what kind!" On the screen appeared a list with names of mutants that were labeled as traitors, enemies of the state and fugitives. "This list here shows you the most wanted enemies of the state. There will be a reward for capture, no matter alive or dead. The reward will be higher for bringing them in alive. The master will be very pleased with you, my fellow Utopians. Fortissimus quisque tantum superset!" he finished and the screen reverted back to the lists of fugitives, which had the X-Men, Fantastic Four and Avengers at the very top.
"We have to evacuate!" the Cap said and looked up, his face clearly worried.
"I know, I know!" Tony said from his far right and was occupied with gathering everything that he considered important. "But this is not as easy as it looks, Steve."
"We have a jet…," Parker shrugged and gave his wife and son a worried look. "Seriously, man, I wanna get out of here and that soon! Who knows when these goons of the MRD will appear here…"
"Agreed…," Bucky nodded. He and Hawkeye stood in front of the computer that showed what the surveillance cameras detected inside and outside the building. "It's only a matter of minutes…"
"We can't leave before Reed and his team is here," Tony said grimly. "They are still looking for Johnny, Elektra and Mat. We are not leaving before they are here!"
The Cap sighed, lowered his head while shaking it. They were in a dangerous situation, he knew that. But he also knew that they had to wait for their friends and couldn't leave them behind. Not in a situation like this. It was more import than ever that they stood by each others sides.
"Okay, listen up," the Cap said after a moment. "As soon as Reed's team is here we'll pack up and evacuate. I want you to already start gathering the most necessary things, like food, equipment, clothing. Everything that we don't need, stays here! Split into groups and start packing." He nodded when some of his team members got up and began working on the task. He began to help Tony with the equipment, packed everything they considered important into the jet and watched how the rest of the team did the same with food, medical equipment and clothing. He sighed and shook his head. If he was honest to himself, he didn't even know where they would go from here…
"Cap, Reed's here," Clint announced behind him and Steven excused himself.
"What's the plan?" Reed asked and cam to a halt next to him. He extended his arms to put their bags into the jet and retracted them again; his wife, her brother and the Thing standing next to him, looking as alerted as the others.
"We'll evacuate," Cap told him and received a nod. "I don't know to where but…" He shrugged. "As long as we'll get out of here, I couldn't care less anyway. It's only a matter of time before we're their next target…"
"Can we help somehow?" Sue asked, since everyone around them was running around.
"Not really. Did you find Matt and the others?" Cap asked and she nodded.
"Matt and Elektra arrived with us. But there's no trace of Johnny," she told him and he sighed. "As far as we know he hasn't been seen for a good while…"
"We can't wait then…," Cap muttered and made room for Tony and Clint when the two men brought one of Stark's suits on board. "Are we nearly done?"
"Think so. We made back up of the data, got food, some notebooks, technical equipment, clothing, meds, a spare suit and destroyed the computers here," Tony told him and wiped the sweat from his brow. "Matt and Elektra are here, too. I'll change into a suit to give the jet cover, you get the hell out of here. Now!" he ordered and jogged out of the room, pressing the alarm button on his way out. The sirens began to roar and filled every floor with loud noise, Jarvis voice telling them to go to the emergency exits.
"You heard Tony!" Cap barked when his teammates entered the hangar. "Everyone takes his seat and buckles up. Bucky and I will pilot the jet. Hurry up!" He waited for the last person to enter the jet before he went for the pilot's seat, the hatch closing behind him; Bucky had already started the engines, the alarm on the outside not as loud anymore as before. "We need to fly over to the X-mansion and see if they need help," Cap said while the jet rose slowly into the air. "The few survivors will still fit into our jet. We need to stick together now."
"You copy?" Tony's voice could be heard through the speaker.
"Loud and clear," Cap replied. "Next stop X-mansion."
"Roger that… That is if we can make it before the ten Sentinels that are zooming in on the tower…"
"Damn it," Bucky cursed and reached out to activate the radar. "Sentinels coming in from the north. We should make it before they reach us."
"Yeah, but can we make before they'll notice us?!" Parker asked and held his son close.
"My God…," Cap gasped as they finally got a good view on the city. Most buildings were burning, destruction and smoke everywhere, there was no moon and no stars, only darkness and death. It reminded him of a giant battlefield. On their right was Iron Man hovering in the air and instructing them to get the hell away from the tower. He flew ahead and led the way towards the X-mansion. They had barely been out of sight when a giant explosion shattered the earth, followed by a huge cloud of fire and dusk. It took only mere seconds for Stark Tower like collapse like a house made of cards.
The air was freezing cold while the sky was black. There were no stars, no moon… Just the never ending darkness above him, the same that he felt within. Far underneath him the streets were empty, only few people were running around, trying to escape their ultimate fate. From afar he could hear the shouts and screams of some that hadn't been fast enough. Gunshots echoed through the streets like cars during rush hour, the smell of fire, blood and corpses seemed to be everywhere. Still, he couldn't care less, he didn't care at all. He could jump down from this building or throw himself in front of a train at full speed. It was just physical pain he'd feel, inside he was already dead…
While his eyes stared down the long way of nothingness that lay underneath him, his right hand absently traced the two rings on his left ring finger. To him life didn't matter anymore, it had lost its reason completely, for him all that was left were decades of loneliness and solitude, things that he didn't want anymore, that he couldn't endure anymore. He wanted his family back and to be happy again, wanted to hear the, feel them, had enough of the life he had before them. If he wasn't able to get his old life back, he'd rather have no life at all. To him nothing made sense or was worth living for anymore without her and his children in his life. This life wasn't worth living anymore anyway with all the death and destruction surrounding them. Maybe they would live through a day, maybe a week but in the end the same fate would await them anyway.
His eyes left the rings for a moment to look back down. The building had 93 stories, it would be a helluva long fall…
"Logan?" a voice tore him out of his meditative state and he was suddenly back at the boathouse, sitting on the ground and still staring at the dark lake in front of him. The air still stank of burned wood, stone and flesh, death everywhere, smoke still lingering in the air around him. "Hey!" the voice said more demanding and a hand touched him. But he didn't feel it. He didn't feel anything besides the empty hole within that made his heart ache. Whoever it was, he wasn't alone. Four pairs of hands pulled him up and dragged him away from the boathouse, the place where he could still see her lying on the ground only covered by a blanket, her eyes shining and her smile directed only at him. He wished he stood at the very top of Stark Tower now and could jump. At least he would feel a pain different from the torturous one he had to endure now…
"You found him?!" Hank asked, clearly relieved.
"Boathouse, as you said it," Parker said and let go of Logan's right arm, while Clint was still holding on to the left. "Man, this place is a mess…" He could only shake his head as he looked at the former proud mansion, of which nothing was left except a burning mess of bricks and wood.
"Do you already know where you want to go?" Hank asked while leading the way over to the jet.
"No. We don't know a place that's big enough for all of us," Clint replied and gave him a nod that he would take Logan into the jet. He did so and dropped the man next to Scott and Remy, who both looked like a complete mess, had their legs pulled close and stared at the ground without realizing anything that was happening around them. "Stay here, okay?" Hawkeye told his friend and squeezed this one's shoulder reassuringly, before he joined Parker on the outside again.
"Tony said the sky's clear for now but we should get going," Spider-Man told him and received a nod. "Hank took care of the wounded. They are ready to go."
"Good."
They looked to the right where Hank helped Northstar up and told him to go over to the jet, then turned to attend to John, who was still looking at the burning remains with a dark and grim look on his face. "It's time to go…," he told the feral and put a hand on his shoulder. "We need to leave before they'll come back for us."
"As if that will change anything…," John grunted and followed him reluctantly. He didn't bother to squeeze in between Peter, who held Kitty close and tried to soothe her, and Bobby, who stared ahead with tears in his eyes and could only shake his head in shock. Instead he went directly over to his brother and wrapped an arm around him. He knew Logan didn't give a damn at all, still he wanted to spend some comfort; needed it himself. Not only was his partner missing, his daughter was too. Thinking about it, he felt an urge rising to find their enemies by himself and shred them.
"Who is the third leader of your team?" the Cap suddenly asked into the direction of the remaining X-Men, knew that Scott was the second and was in no shape to take over Logan's role.
Hank looked at the man. "Ororo was the third one, Jean the fourth… There is no one left."
Nodding in understanding, the Avenger cleared his throat. "Everyone on board?" Cap asked and turned to give them a look.
"Yes," Hank nodded sadly and was about to sit down next to a devastated Kurt when John suddenly leapt up and jogged out of the jet.
"What's the matter now?!" Cap asked, frowning.
"I don't know," the furry mutant shrugged and went after the man, thought the feral was about to go berserk as he saw him near the remains of the pond, pulling stones aside. "John? We need to…"
"Help me here!" John barked and, alerted by the urgency in the man's voice, Hank ran over and pushed and pulled on everything in their way.
"You hearing something?!" he asked, knowing that there had been a tunnel once, before the pond had been built upon it and the escape route had been re-directed. He had barely finished the sentence as he saw two yellow eyes that were too familiar. "TJ…," he smiled and pulled the crying girl out of the hole, heard a voice calling his name. "'Ro? Is that you?!" he asked aloud and helped John to pull some more stones out of the way, was even happier to see that it was not only his old friend and son, but also Narya and Anna that the could pull out.
"Oh my God…," the weather goddess cried out and clasped her hand over her mouth and the whole destruction was revealed to her for the first time. "No…," she whispered and began to cry. "God, no…"
"'Ro, is there anyone else?" Hank asked hopefully, since the feral was occupied in crushing an equally devastated Narya and his daughter to his chest. His face fell when the woman shook his head. "Okay, listen… The Avengers evacuated, too, we'll leave in their jet. But we need to do this now!"
"We don't fit into their jet, Hank…," Ororo sobbed and pulled her son closer while she held TJ's hand. "Not all of…"
"'Ro…," he cut her off after reaching the jet again. "There's only a handful of us left…" While her eyes widened in shock, he beckoned her to enter the jet, waited for John and his family to do the same before he closed the hatch.
"Daddy!" TJ cried and jumped into her surprised father's arms, followed by Ororo, who hugged Kurt as firmly to her body as possible.
"I thought you vere…," he mumbled into the woman's neck and closed his eyes in relief, tears running down his cheeks. "Thank God…," he whispered into the crook of her neck.
Next to them James pulled Heather close and shook his head. "God, if you hadn't wanted to watch the fireworks from the harbor…," he began and heaved a deep breath. He first hadn't wanted to go, but he had known how much she had always wanted to watch fireworks above the New York skyline. So he had given in and they had been on their way, their foster son included, just to be surprised by screens turning black at midnight and Apocalypse announcing that he was now the Head of State. Their shock had even gotten worse as the destroyed mansion had been shown…
"I know…," Heather nodded and leant into him, watched their son sleeping on his father's chest. "I can't believe it's only the few of us…" Her eyes switched to Logan, who was absentmindedly turning the rings on his finger, while his eyes bored holes into the ground; Miloh sitting next to him, still licking his wounds.
"Does anyone of you know a place that's big enough for all of us?!" the Cap demanded to know, looked into the round and waited for an answer. He then turned his head to the left and looked at Logan, who still stared at the ground and hadn't even noticed that Northstar had sat down next to him, an arm around his shoulder and his head resting on the other one. "Damn… I have no clue where to go, if…" He looked up when Logan suddenly told him some coordinates. "What's there?" he asked after the computer told him it was a remote place up in the mountains in Canada.
"Yer not gonna there…," Creed growled and his eyes narrowed.
"It's big enough…," Logan grunted, eyes still on his rings, his voice monotone but tensed.
"Yer ain't goin' there, Jimmy!" Creed insisted and clenched his fists in fury. He was about to add something when his half-brother looked up, eyes dark and something visible in them that Victor couldn't remember he had ever seen. But whatever it was, it made his eyes widen a bit in surprise, the beast in him cringing.
"Yer decided t'stay with my team," Logan growled, teeth bared and voice very low. He looked intimidating, even to his close friends. "So yer either gonna shut the fuck up now…or get the hell outta this jet! But I ain't gonna put up with yer shit, ya hear me?" Having said it, he lowered his gaze back on to his rings, eyes narrowed and muscles tensed. He neither cared about the stares he was given nor what the others thought about him now. They were well aware of the fact that he was a ticking time bomb in that state that was ready to explode. Hell, he wouldn't even care, if a blast hit the jet in the next second…
"Well…," Cap said and turned back to the front. "Then we'll head there… Wherever that is…"
"Do you know where we're going?" Narya whispered, looked up from John's chest to read his face.
"I think I can guess where we're heading…," he grunted and she knew he didn't like it at all. "To a place I had hoped I'd never see again…"
While he sat on his throne and watched the several screens in front of him, a door at the end of the dark corridor opened and someone entered. It didn't take long for a pale face to appear, red eyes almost shining in the dim light. "News?"
"Stark Tower was destroyed, master," Sinister informed him and crossed his arms. "MRD is currently hunting down mutants lower than level 2."
"Survivors?" Apocalypse asked bored.
"There is no way that anyone could have survived it. The attack happened too fast and nothing remained of Stark tower besides a pile of dust. The Sentinels made sure of it."
"I hope so, Sinister…," his opposite replied and got up to look out of the window. He took in the burning city and smiled in sheer satisfaction. His namesake had come, the capital was his and he was constantly expanding his reign. Their plan had worked out well thanks to the help they had, even if it wasn't voluntarily. "What about Xavier's Men…?" he grunted and crossed his arms, his eyes watching the smoke and fire dancing on the outside.
"The Sentinels made a raid on the remains of the mansion. Our first attack was a massive hit, there were no survivors, master," Sinister replied and joined his side. "They are currently scanning the area around the mansion."
"They're already gone…," a deep voice in the shadows said and Sinister looked aside, annoyance visible on his face. "My son ain't stupid… He brought'em t'safety somewhere," Romulus grunted and joined Apocalypse on the right, smirking at Sinister. He loved to get a rise out of the man.
"Where would he go?" Apocalypse asked, eyes still on the death and destruction.
"I don't know. Xavier probably has many hideouts," Sinister replied and was met with a glare.
"Then you'll better find them quickly."
"Yes, master," Sinister said and bowed, retreated in the next moment.
Apocalypse waited until Romulus had left, too, before he turned and looked at the shadow behind his throne. His personal protector and rider. "I'm sure Wolverine brought them far away. They should still be on the run. I want you to go looking for them and report back to me," he ordered, received a nod before the sound of metal announced something extending and a lean, but muscular man jumped out of the triangular window next. "There is no place for you to hide, Wolverine… You can't run away from your fate," Apocalypse muttered and walked back to his throne to sit down on it; once more watching the screens that showed how his men hunted down humans and killed worthless mutants on their way, too. "Sooner or later you're back at my side…"
"I hate this place…," John said and tightened his grip on Narya's hand as she beckoned him to finally move. He could only look at the mansion, take in the house he had mostly bad memories from and didn't want to go anywhere near it. He thought he could still see the carriage in which he had been brought away; the first but not last shameful memory of the family. A sniff was enough and he could tell that Logan and Victor felt the same; the latter close to go into a berserker rage the nearer he got to the mansion.
"Daddy?" Anna asked, freezing in the cold wind and snow and sought warmth in his arms.
"Yeah," he replied and forced himself to move, his heart thundering in his chest.
"What is this place?!" Bucky asked Cap, who could only shrug but caught a brief glance at a rusty shield next to the old gate.
His eyes widened a bit in surprise but he kept silent and chose to follow Logan, who led the way in silence. He was well aware of the fact that his old friend was in no mood or shape to talk or answer questions. His blue eyes caught the sight of Creed, who had stopped not far from a small wooden cabin that stood close to an old tree on the estate and was glaring at it. The way the air turned white in front of his mouth and nose proved that his breaths were coming heavy and fast. He wondered why…
"Victor?" Logan called and waited for a reaction but there was none. He sighed and walked over to where Creed was standing. He knew why the feral was close to go into a berserker rage, shared the same memories but then again not the same. He could only guess what Creed had suffered under his abusive father as a child, remembered how often the boy had appeared with bruises on his face and shrieked away when the man had appeared. He hated the place, too, but in the end it was the only place he could come up with. "I know ya hate it…," he began and wanted to reach out but was suddenly grabbed and slammed against the wooden wall.
"Ya don't know shit!" Creed snarled, rage behind his hazel eyes and teeth bared. His whole body seemed to be shaking.
Behind him some of the others had begun to move, but stopped when Logan raised his hand. "It's the only place big enough for of us," Logan replied and grabbed the wrists of his brother, whose sharp nails were digging into his skin. "We'll stay here for a couple of days, then move somewhere else. I hate it, too, damn it!"
"Do ya?" Victor growled and bared his fangs. "Ya had a nice, cozy bed, ya were sleepin' in the warm'n got everythin' shoved up yer rich ass, Jimmy!"
"Yeah? 'n ya think I liked it?!" Logan challenged him and twisted the wrists to free himself from the iron grip. "I fuckin' hate this place, okay? I HATE it!" he barked and turned to head back to the front door.
"Then why did ya pick this fuckin' place?!" Creed barked back and followed him, wanted to beat the younger feral to a pulp. "Jimmy!" he added furiously and made an angry step forward but found his way blocked my Colossus in his steel form. "Get the fuck outta my way!"
Also angered and in more than a bad mood, Logan slammed the huge front door open and went inside. His senses made a quick scan of the surroundings, sniffed but could only pick up on dust and the smell of a very old house. "Clear," he grunted and went deeper inside, braced himself for stupid questions that he didn't want to hear. His mind was thinking about something else, didn't want to think about what had happened here or get anywhere near that spot. He looked briefly aside to watch how John gave the interior an indefinable look, could only guess how the man felt at the moment. He then bent down to pick Miloh up again, who had limped his way inside.
"Hasn't changed one bit…," his brother grunted and placed his daughter on the ground to go over to a wall. He tilted his head to look at the old pictures and reached out to brush the thick dust away. A snort escaped his lips. "Well, except that my pictures are gone… What a surprise…" He then noticed the huge family portrait on the wall to his right, close to the huge staircase and went over to look at it. "I'd expected my face to be erased…," he mumbled to himself and his eyes narrowed as he looked at the face of his mother. He still wondered if his father had known… To him the happy smiles on her and his father's lips were like a slap into the face. Hers was faked. No doubt about it…
"Now seriously… What is this place?!" Bucky asked after he had taken a long look around. It was no secret to him that whoever had lived here must have been more than rich. "That place is huge…"
"Our parents' house…," John grunted and ignored the surprised looks. "Don't mention it. We hate this place…"
"Well…," Tony nodded and crossed his arms. He took a look around. "It's huge and….cold."
"What now?" Cap asked into the round, looked from Creed, who looked around the interior with a death glare to Logan, who had his back turned to them. The group was tired and exhausted. "I say we sleep. Everyone's pretty much done. There's time for talking and planning tomorrow."
"Room's are upstairs…," Logan grunted and went that way, carrying Miloh, without bothering to give them another look. The only thing they could hear was a door being shut.
Narya sighed and reached out to touch John's shoulder. "We need blankets. It's too cold without any."
He nodded and ran a hand through his messy dark hair. "I don't know if there are still any left…," he told her. "Follow me. I show you to the rooms. Just be careful with the staircase. It's over a hundred years old," he warned them and led the way. He went up the stairs and stopped here and there when his memories began to overwhelm him. He could see himself playing in the halls, spying on his mother when she took his brother for a walk. She had always hated it when he had wanted to play with James or go for a walk with the boy himself. He saw his grandfather chastising him for not being the man he wanted him to be, someone worth to inherit the money, worth of being a Howlett, heard his father explaining to him what his future work would look like, how he needed to learn in order to lead the estate. He had felt trapped in a golden cage…
When he reached a room that he remembered was used as a storage room, he went inside. "There are some. But they are dusty."
"Man, I don't care as long as I can sleep…," Peter Parker said tiredly, his son sleeping against his shoulder and went inside.
"We can clean everything tomorrow," Ororo suggested sleepily.
"Some of the rooms might still have covers on the bed," John guessed. "I can't tell…" He showed them the rooms and guest rooms, stopped when he heard Ororo addressing Scott and Remy.
"Do you want to stay with us?" she asked them, sympathy echoing in her voice but both men shook their heads in silence. Bobby had joined Kitty and Piotr and gone to one room, whereas the Avengers mostly stuck together, same went for the Fantastic Four. "Okay…" She nodded and joined Kurt to head for another free room.
"Remy stays with Scott, if dat's okay…," Remy muttered and received a silent nod from the man with the glasses. He took two blankets and retreated, too.
"What about you?" Narya asked Jean-Paul, who was leaning against the wall and staring at the ground. He looked up as if he had been deeply in thoughts and gave her a wary look. "You can stay with us. In that way you're not alone…"
"I'll sleep on the couch," the speedster said and thanked John for the blanket.
"Are you sure?" Heather asked him and received a weak nod. She watched him walking down the stairs again, didn't like it that he chose to stay alone. It wasn't like him at all. "Damn, this day is unbelievable…," she sighed and ran her hands over her face.
"No kidding…," James replied and wrapped an arm around her. "Another free room?"
"Next to Logan…," John nodded down the hall and led the way.
"He shouldn't be alone either…," Heather whispered and gave the door a sad look. "I mean…he's crushed. You could see that in his eyes…"
"Who wouldn't be in his situation… I mean his whole family…" James shook his head and closed the door behind him. "From all of us Remy, Hank, Scott, Paul and Logan got it the hardest way. Same goes for Bobby… They lost everything."
"Logan can hear you…," John said and did his best to clean the dusty bed. He looked at the size of it. "The girls can have it. I'll sleep on the ground," he decided and began to make a makeshift bed for himself.
"Nah, that will fit," James waved off. "We'll sleep horizontally next to each other."
"Actually…," Narya said after tucking the sleeping Anna and Taylor in, "I'd rather join Paul. I mean he's all alone downstairs and grieving… You could tell that by the look in his eyes." She gave John an insecure look. "Would you mind?"
He shook his head and gave her a loving kiss. "No, just go."
"Thanks," she smiled and embraced him for a long moment. "Good night."
Upstairs the Avengers had put three mattresses next to each other and made a huge makeshift bed for themselves. While Parker watched his son sleeping next to MJ for a moment, Cap and Clint looked out of the windows to make sure no one had followed them. Bucky chose to stay awake in case someone would attack them. "Well… Look at this," Tony suddenly said and held a framed picture up. "I'd say that is Mama Wolverine." He turned the frame for a moment and very critically. "Doesn't look like him at all… More like John, don't you think?"
"I don't think this is important now. We've got to worry about more important things," Cap said in a serious voice and turned his back toward the window. He heard Tony sigh and watched him putting the frame away.
"Look," the man said, also serious, "they got our asses, it's done, we didn't reckon with it. But we can't change it anymore. We have to move forward and think about a way to clean that mess up! Hell, we have a psychopath as a president!" Tony added and thought about the last sentence. "Well… Thinking about it, it's not the first time but I'd say that guy is worse…"
"Logan doesn't care much about it now…," Clint said dryly and tried to get comfortable on the mattress; especially squeezed in between two guys.
"Don't you think I know that?!" Tony asked angered. "Still we have to find a way or the whole world will go to hell."
"Tomorrow," Cap replied sleepily and ran a hand over his face. "Or later today, however you want to put it." He lay down next to Bucky and tried to understand what had actually happened today. In the end he was too tired and just wanted to sleep. "Tony… Switch off the flashlight, please…"
"Ehm…," the Avenger replied and looked at his personal misery.
"What?" Parker asked in a hushed voice, he, too, tired. "What's the problem?!"
"Nothing… Just that my assistant is sleeping there and the only free spot is next to her," Tony replied sarcastically and received a groan from nearly his whole team.
"Just switch off that lamp and lie down!" Clint demanded and pulled his blanket closer.
"Drastic times call for drastic measures…," Bucky mumbled and yawned. "Lie down!"
"Hey, she can sue me for sexual harassment!" Tony feigned shock and lay down as far away from Pepper as he could, his heart pounding in his chest.
"If that was the case, she would have already done it," Cap said and closed his eyes.
"More than once!" Parker added.
"Yeah, yeah, I got it!" Tony grumbled and put the lamp next to him. "Damn, it's cold in here…"
"Then cuddle up to her," Clint groaned.
"His wet dream coming true…," Parker snickered and received a slap to the shoulder from MJ.
"Ssh!" she demanded and pulled their son closer to spend more warmth. "Sleep now. All of you!"
"Yes, ma'am…," Peter whispered and lay still.
The room was silent for a while before a door on the corridor went slowly shut.
In the room John raised his head in the dark and watched how Narya tip toed closer. "To the right," he whispered and reached out to touch her hand. He pulled her down next to him with a slightly confused look on his face. "What's the matter?"
"He wants to be alone," she told him in a hushed voice and cuddled up to seek warmth.
"How is he?" Heather whispered behind her, still awake.
"Sad and very upset," the blonde replied. "He misses him…"
"I thought so…," the redhead nodded in the dark and sighed. She had already drifted off to sleep as in the next room something shattered against the wall.
Panting, Logan watched how the remains of an old vase shattered into pieces and fell to the ground. He then went on to pace like a caged tiger, his mind too occupied to find rest, his body refusing to give in to the exhaustion. He needed to destroy something to keep his dark side from bursting out into the light to do what it wanted to do – to track down those responsible for their deaths and kill them. He wanted them to suffer and beg him and for them to bleed out and him the last for them to see. He longed for their blood on his hands. Longed to shred them into pieces and cut through every tiny piece of their body. He wanted them dead, no matter how many he had to kill, he wanted to kill every single one of them. Heaving deep and uncontrolled breaths, he stopped at the window and looked out. The moon was visible here and he wanted to howl out in pain, to run into the wood and never stop running, wanted to run until his lungs and muscles ached and he couldn't go any further. Damn, he wished he could just end it and join his family again, didn't care about the how as long as he was with them and not so goddamn lonely. He wanted the pain to go away, to hear his children laugh, to smell his wife's scent and to hold her and his babies again.
Sobbing, he slumped to the ground and slammed his fist into the first object he could reach, shattered it, watched few pieces of blood drop to the ground and despised how his healing factor cheated on him again. He could slash his throat or wrists as often as he wanted to, he would just heal and if he managed to die, he would wake up sooner or later again anyway. Why couldn't he just die and join them, why not just jump from the highest point of the mountains and die like everyone else? He had told her his luck was lasting too long already, that he'd been happy for too long. He was cursed since he was born, had always death following him everywhere and wished he had rather watched her from afar than giving in to temptation and be with her as he had longed for. In that way she wouldn't have left him and died.
He buried his shaking hands in his hair and tried to heave deep breaths I order to calm himself. She had told him that she had a bad feeling, that something was coming up. Why hadn't he listened to her? What if they had suffered and suffocated or been impaled and slowly bled to death? What if the fire had burned them alive and they had screamed for him or someone to help them?! What if they had still been alive somewhere under the remains and he hadn't been able to pick up on them? What if they were slowly dying and he wasn't there to help them?
He looked up with tears still streaming down his face as a wet snout nuzzled him from aside and realized that Miloh must have jumped off the bed and limped over to him. The wolf let out a whine and nuzzled him again, as if to say that he, too, had lost his family but that they were still together and a pack, that they were suffering the same fate but still had each other to keep each other company. Swallowing hard, Logan pulled the wolf closer and hugged him, sniffed into the fur and longed for his family more than anything else. He would give anything he had to be with them, his eyesight, his limbs, his heart, his life, he didn't care as long as they were safe and breathing. He would leave them and live the most miserable life possible, as long as they were alive… With his mind and heart racing, he closed his eyes and leant into his wolf, tried to tire himself out somehow to stop thinking. He wanted to stop feeling anything, just for mere seconds…
When Miloh suddenly looked up and growled he turned his head to the door and heard it being opened. A lamp shined over to the empty bed, then at the destruction he had left before it blinded him. Warily, he looked away. The door went shut and someone came closer. He was grateful it wasn't Creed or his brother or anyone of the others. He wouldn't be able to cope with their bullshit or sympathy, when they didn't understand shit about how he felt inside. What it felt like to lose your past, present and future at the same time… He understood. In the end, he was in the same situation he was in. Logan didn't say anything when the man slumped down next to him and looked at him warily from aside. He didn't need to. Instead, he reached out and pulled him closer with one arm to let him cry on his shoulder and stared at the ground again; the wolf still in his other arm.
"Why didn't I tell him?" he heard Jean-Paul sniffing into his neck and pulled him closer. "He tried so hard and I kept on pushing him away because I was too afraid to get hurt again…," he went on crying and shook his head, despising himself. "And then I told him it meant nothing on Christmas… God, I hate myself…"
"He knew he meant somethin' t'ya, otherwise he wouldn't have stuck t'ya…," Logan mumbled in a monotone voice and watched Miloh lying down and resting his head on his leg. "Paul, yer exhausted. Go 'n lie down."
"I tried. I can't sleep without him next to me…," Northstar sniffed and ran both hands over his face. He then looked at Logan, whose face was barely illuminated by the moon. It hurt him to see his friend like that. "I know you don't want company… But you shouldn't be…"
"I can cope with you bein' here…," Logan grunted and his eyes were back on the rings on his finger.
"Okay…," the man next to him nodded and reached out to wrap the blanket around both of them. He then settled back against the feral's shoulder, a tear running down his face. Even if he refused to do so, exhaustion won over and he fell asleep in the end…
"We were waiting for your return and had everything prepared for the fireworks. Some of the children had already gone to bed. Then Miloh, Callie and their cubs had suddenly begun to behave weird, as if they were sensing something," Ororo told the group on the next day and kept her eyes on the mug with water in front of her. "Jean had suddenly been restless, too. I had gone over to her when she had suddenly told us to go pack the most necessary things, get the children and meet her downstairs. I think she sensed the attack…" She paused to drink a bit. "I had gone to get TJ and Tommy. On my way to the elevator I had run into Narya and Anna. Since the elevator was too far away, I told Jean mentally that I would use another way out and meet her there. We had barely been underground when Jean told us mentally to brace ourselves… The earth had shaken heavily and we heard a huge explosion but…" She shook her head and looked up with tears in her eyes. "I would have never reckoned with the mansion being destroyed… While we were trapped I tried to reach Jean mentally but there was no reply…"
"I see…," Hank nodded and turned his head to look back at the old table they were sitting at. The sun had already been up when they had woken and it was still unbearably cold inside the house. "Have you… Were Moira and Nick with Jean?" he managed to ask after a moment and braced himself for the reply.
"Yes," Ororo nodded. "When we scattered out of the ball room she said she would get Nick and medical equipment. Raven wanted to get Alex and Daken had told Jean he'd get Kazu, Ray and Jamie, since Jean had taken Kazu upstairs after he and Jamie had fallen asleep on the couch. Jubilee had gone with him to wake the students… Paul… I think he wanted to pack some clothes and join them downstairs…" She paused and tried to think about any details she had forgotten about. When she did remember one her eyes fell on Remy. "Marie…had headed to her room to get Jean-Luc…"
Hank's eyes fell on the Cajun, who had lowered his head even further after hearing it. "He hasn't been with her…," he said in barely more than a whisper and shook his head. As far as he remembered Rogue had been at a spot where one corridor of the mansion had been. He didn't have to imagine anything to know that their son couldn't have survived the attack and was probably buried somewhere underneath the remains. He tried to occupy his mind in order to not think about his wife or son. He needed to act as some sort of pillar for their broken team now.
"Has anyone seen Paul?!" Narya suddenly asked and stuck her head into the room, blue eyes scanning it for the man.
"He can't be gone," Heather tried to soothe her but noticed the scared look in her friend's eyes.
"As upset as he was at night…," the blonde began when a hand touched her shoulder.
"He's upstairs," John told her and went into the room, shivering due to the cold. "He has joined Logan and fallen asleep. He's still sleeping on the bed."
"Thank God!" Narya said clearly relieved and put a hand to her chest.
"We need to do something about the cold," Elektra changed the subject. "With those temperatures those without a healing factor will get sick."
"We can't start a fire," Matt replied next to her. "In case someone is looking for us, it will alarm them."
"That's why we have a genius on our team who is still asleep," Parker said and sighed. "Man, I'm starving…," he added and held his stomach when it began to growl. "How much food do we have?!"
"Not enough," Hank replied. "With the amount your team could save and rations for everyone… Maybe for two days…"
"Damn…," Parker cursed and looked at Cap, who could only shrug.
"It's winter. We won't find anything eatable outside…," the Avenger said and crossed his arms as Logan suddenly stomped past them, face grim and headed for the back door. "We're you going?"
"Huntin'," was the growled reply and the man opened the back door.
"You can't go alone, Logan!" Hank warned him but the door went already shut.
"He looks ten years older…," Elektra noticed sadly and reached out to take Matt's hand. "So what's the plan?"
"The plan is…that we don't have one," Cap replied and began to think. "We first need to do something against the cold, get food and enough to drink. Then we need to find a way to stay up to date to what happens in the States. We need teams that patrol at night because I'm sure they are looking for us." He remained silent and thought about anything else he might have forgotten about. "Most importantly we can't stay in one place for too long. We need to think about a place where they won't come looking for us, a place that we can use as a base and that will protect us. The place here is too old and too much in the open…"
"I agree," Parker nodded. "Especially about the first part because I'm freezing my butt off!" He pulled the blanket closer around him and his son. "Our jet has stealth. Can't we just live in there?!"
"If you want to kill the battery, then yes," Clint nodded and went over to the window to look outside. The snow was glistening and the sun high up in the blue sky. "Logan is leaving with Creed…"
"If someone can bring us food, it's them…," Cap said. "Someone should go upstairs and wake Tony. He wanted to think about a way to heat the rooms…"
"I'd rather say he has wet dreams…," Parker muttered and sipped on his water. "Thinking about it…it's worth seeing him being embarrassed for once. I'll wake him!" he volunteered determined and got up to leave the room.
"Why wet dreams?!" Matt asked, a frown visible on his face. He tapped the table to be able to see Cap's face.
"He's sleeping next to Pepper," the man replied and Matt nodded in understanding.
Upstairs a redhead slowly woke up and smiled first, then frowned as she felt something heavy on her waist and something else poking her into the thigh. She couldn't remember falling asleep in the jet or that she had lain down next to anything weird. As she opened her eyes and blinked against the light, her heart skipped a beat. The arm on her hip was clearly belonging to a male. Had she been drinking? The room she was in was unfamiliar, too, and there had clearly been people sleeping next to her. There was only one word that could explain what had happened and she widened her eyes in shock; an embarrassed blush becoming visible on her face. "An orgy…," she mumbled and was just beginning to wonder why she still wore clothes as the clearly male person behind her snorted and moved in his sleep. Her body went rigid, her heart began to race in fear and she didn't dare to look who that person was. She was sure Tony had something to do with that orgy… Somehow she suddenly felt like being watched. Her body became even more tensed when the male person behind her suddenly muttered something indefinable under his breath. It could have been "sweet" or "cute" or "whip" or "shit", she wasn't too sure about it.
"Pepper… I want you to stay calm and not to freak out!"
Now her heart was thundering on the fastest speed possible and her jaw dropped. "Tony?!" she squealed and instantly wanted to jump up and run out of the room. How embarrassing...
"Just…don't move and stay calm, okay?" Tony begged and withdrew his arm slowly, before he tried to detach his hip from hers without her noticing that…"
"What is this hard thing poking into my thigh, Tony?!" Pepper asked, eyes still wide in shock that she had not only slept next to her boss but had actually also cuddled with him. She wanted to die of embarrassment.
"That's…my shoe!" he quickly said and held his breath.
"What's your shoe doing in the bed?!" she asked and he closed his eyes.
"Good question. I will ask Jarvis to analyze it. How about you getting up and…getting out of the room so that I can get dressed?" he asked and tried to grab the pillow behind his back blindly.
"You're…?!" she began as she remembered something. "You are dressed, Tony…"
"Oh, really? Yeah, now that you're mentioning it, I can see it, too" he said, as much embarrassed as her and had finally managed to roll over and grabbed the pillow, as the door opened and Parker looked inside.
"Oh, you're finally awake. Good. We're freezing to death, so get started on a plan to heat those damn rooms!" he told Tony, who lay frozen on his back, eyes unusually widened and looked like a rabbit that was about to be run over by a car. Parker frowned and looked at Pepper's flushed cheeks, then again at Tony before his eyes lowered themselves to the blanket. "Oh…," he said and nodded with a grin on his lips. When he looked back at Tony's face again the man was giving him desperate signs, something between threats and begs, to keep his mouth shut. "Nice boner, Tony, I hope I wasn't interrupting something," Parker said and quickly duck out of the room.
Pepper's face was now completely flushed and she stared at the wall opposite of her. "Oh my God, this is so not happening…," she cried and pulled the blanket over her head.
"It's…the morning…," Tony tried to explain the embarrassing situation. "It has nothing to do with you or me or anything that might be going on between us, because clearly…there isn't. We agreed on that. It's…a normal male reaction to waking up next to a hot woman… I mean woman. Just woman because saying hot would indicate again that there's something between us, when there clearly isn't! So…"
"Tony?" her voice could be heard underneath the blanket and he stopped. "Would you just go, please…?"
"Yeah," he nodded quickly and was about to get up as he was reminded of the fact that he couldn't. "Actually, no… I can't go out like this…"
Pepper peeked up from underneath the blanket and gave him a brief look, then got quickly up. "Okay, I'll go. I'll go and won't look at anyone for the rest of my life," she breathed and went quickly out of the room.
"Shit!" she heard him cursing loudly as the door was already shut and she had reached the stairs.
The deer was slowly strolling through the wood on the search for food and water. It knew a small river was closed by and headed through the thick snow into that direction, eyes, nose and ears always checking the surroundings for any threats. Wolves loved to follow in the shadows on their search for food and it wanted to be prepared. Nevertheless, it didn't hear or see the two shadows following it, nor how they split behind it and stayed downwind. It wasn't before a branch that had been buried underneath the snow gave way to the weight of one of it followers. Startled, the deer turned around, nose picking up on the threat and it began to run.
"Dammit…," Creed growled and jumped after the animal, chased it on all fours, while his brother tried to run half a circle to attack their prey from aside. It was only due to a quick change in direction that Victor managed to grab one of the animal's legs and made it stumble; a move that gave Logan enough time to leap at it, claws out and ram the metal right into the deer's heart.
Emotionlessly, he watched how the lights went out in the animal's eyes and heard it taking its last breath. "Let's go…," he grunted and knelt down to pick their prey up and to carry it back.
"Yer careless," Creed growled displeased and wiped the snow from his duster. "It nearly escaped."
"We got it, so what?" Logan snapped and was roughly turned around by a large hand.
"We were lucky!" Victor snapped back and gave his younger brother a push. "If ya can't clear yer head, Jimmy, don't go huntin' 'n stay outta my way!" Angrily, he stomped back into the direction of the estate. "I don't get why we've t'go 'n get food fer'em anyway. I ain't a fuckin' delivery service."
Only glaring at the larger feral's back, Logan followed him in silence and dropped the dead deer as soon as they had reached the grounds again. Skillfully, he began to skin and prepare it, something he had done countless times in the past. Still the whole hunt hadn't cleared his mind one bit or kept him from thinking about his family. Like in trance he let his claws do the work on their food and thought about how he had returned from hunting on their honeymoon and she had already waited for him. It had felt so good to come back home, not to an empty cabin in which the only living thing was the fire in winter, but to someone expecting and waiting for him. Even with his friends here he felt so damn lonely…
"Are ya even listenin'?!" Creed suddenly growled next to him and Logan looked up, frowning.
"What?" he asked confused and received a glare.
"Forget it. Go on dreamin'," Victor spat and headed for the back entrance, where he nearly fell over Tony, who had teamed up with Reed to find a way to heat the rooms without using the stoves.
"Watch where you're walking!" the Avenger complained and remained kneeling on the ground.
"Watch where yer lyin'," Victor growled back and glared at him.
"Actually, I'm kneeling on the ground, not lying," Tony corrected him sarcastically and turned back to his work. "It should actually work if we found a cable long enough…," he said and Reed nodded.
"Do you think you can reproduce the arc reactor here? I mean…" He extended his arm a bit to point around the room. "We are not what I would call high-tec…"
As an answer Tony tilted his head and gave him his best are-you-kidding-me-look. "Do I really have to answer that? No, right? I managed to rebuild that thing in a remote cave somewhere in the desert with the shittiest equipment I've ever seen," he replied and got up. "So I'll be definitely able to rebuild it in a remote house, somewhere in the icy nowhere of Canada with the not so shitty equipment that I've brought with me."
"I hope you're right…," Reed said and packed their plans together.
"Hello, gorgeous," Tony greeted Ororo, who seemed to be looking for something. "May I help you?"
"Do we have a candle or something?" the woman asked and stopped roaming the cupboards.
"I would crack a joke under different circumstances," Tony said and scratched the back of his head. "I think we do have some. At least I'm sure I've seen MJ with a stack…"
"Thanks."
"What do you need them for? Is the battery of the flashlight empty already?" Reed asked but she shook her head, eyes downcast.
"No, we…," Ororo began and hugged herself. "Some of us decided that we…want to get together and do some kind of farewell session for our friends and family… Some of us need it. Especially Remy and Scott."
The two men nodded in understanding. "What about Logan?" Reed asked and extended his head to be able to look out of the window. "Oh, he's done…" When he looked back at her, she shook her head.
"He wouldn't even take part in it when his life depended on it," she replied. "He just…can't…"
After a long and uncomfortable moment of silence, Tony cleared his throat. "Well…, if I see MJ before you do, I'll let her know."
"Thanks, Tony," Ororo smiled sadly at him and left the room again.
Much later when it was already dark, the X-Men sat together, a candle burning in their middle and casting shadows at the dark walls. They stared at it in silence, some crying openly, some silently and tried to spend each other comfort. While Kurt held Ororo's hand and Piotr held Kitty close, Narya rested her head against John's shoulder and James had his arm wrapped around Heather. They knew they had been lucky, that they hadn't lost everything like their friends had. The more difficult it was for them to say something. In the end, no words could take away their pain. Hank heaved a deep breath and turned his gaze away from the candle and towards Bobby, Remy and Scott. Especially the older two men looked miserable beyond belief and years older in their sorrow. Compared to them, Bobby didn't know if his wife was still alive or not. They knew their partners and children weren't, that their future was gone and no one could return it. His eyes then fell on Jean-Paul, who was the same picture of misery. He, too, had lost two people that were close to him, how close exactly no one knew. In the end they had always denied him. But from what Hank could see in the man's eyes, the regret, the sorrow and the loss, he would vote for closer than anyone of them would have thought. He tried to keep his mind off his wife and child, wondered what Logan was doing, appreciated that the Avengers and Fantastic Four had joined them, but kept their distance. Something needed to be said. He just didn't know what…
"I think…," he began and was desperate to find the right words, "that despite how tragic it is…they would have wanted us to move on. It's hard and…painful…but not entirely impossible. It will take time, lots of time… But in the end life just goes on… It has to. And our friends wouldn't have wanted us to just give up…" He swallowed hard, exchanged a look with Ororo, who nodded and wiped her tears away. "They would have wanted us to find a way… A way to deal with it, with them…"
There was silence in the room until Scott snorted sarcastically and shook his head. "How? By being diplomatic?"
Hank frowned at the strange undertone in the man's voice. "Scott, we…"
"The X-Men do not kill, Hank. That's true. But the X-Men are dead," Scott said and looked up, his face grim and a mask of hidden agony. "This…is X-Force. And I'm done playing nice. They want a war, they can have it!" he added and got up to head back to his room upstairs, leaving some of his friends in confusion.
"What's X-Force?!" Kitty asked and didn't like the look on some of the men's faces. "Remy?!"
The Cajun looked up, eyes unusually dark even through tears. "A team," was all he said and her frown deepened.
"What team?" Piotr demanded to know since he was as confused as some of the others. "A strike team?!" he figured out on his own and was met with a cold look that spoke volume.
"That's insane!" Ororo said and sat up straight. "What do you intend to do?! Infiltrate the enemies' lines and kill them?"
"Per'aps," Remy shrugged and had enough. He, too, got up and was about to head upstairs next when Hank grabbed his wrist.
"Who came up with that idea? Logan?"
"Non, but 'e's part of it," the Cajun told him and pulled his arm free.
"I don't believe this. Are they insane?!" Kitty asked in shock and looked at her friends, tried to read their faces and find out what they thought. "A strike team. That's…crazy!"
"Is it?" Bobby asked and met her gaze. "They attacked us first, Kitty. They destroyed our home, they murdered our friends and family… What do you intend to do? Just sit here and wait for them to come? We need to be prepared!"
"Then we will prepare but not like this!" she disagreed. "We are no assassins, Bobby!"
He shrugged and got up, eyes hard. "We have assassins, don't we?" he said and left, too.
Only shaking his head, Hank leant back with a heavy sigh. "I do understand them…," he admitted and received shocked looks. "But I agree that their way is just wrong. We are no assassins…" His head jerked aside when he heard someone coming down the stairs and received a brief glare from Logan; one that told anyone not to dare and address him in any way, that he wanted to be left alone. Still Hank would have none of it. "What's this X-Force thing?" he demanded to know and received a brief shrug only. "You can't just go there and kill them all, my boy, even you can't do this!"
"Scott's idea, not mine," Logan growled and disappeared in the kitchen just to reappear with a bottle of water next.
"He said you're a part of it," Kitty said and she, too, received a shrug. "Logan…"
"Shut it 'n leave me alone!" he warned her and was about to go upstairs when Hank got into his way. He closed his eyes briefly to heave a deep breath, nostrils flaring.
"This is insane, Logan! We neither have the man power nor the resources to start a war against them," the furry mutant lectured him. "We already lost enough!"
"Oh, so ya think I don't know that?" Logan growled and his eyes were narrowed to slits. "Is that it? If ya intend t'stay in this shithole while the world goes t'hell, fine with me. But I don't intend t'do it."
"This is not about the world or about what is happening at the moment," Hank replied. "It's about revenge! Scott, Remy and you are simply out for revenge, Bobby, too. You are not seeing clear!" he tried to warn him and received a chuckle. He made a careful step back when Logan made one forward, the hairs on his neck standing up when he looked into the feral's eyes. They were dark and ice cold.
"I ain't seein' clear?" Logan grunted, muscles tensed. "My wife's dead, my children are dead, my home was destroyed… So where exactly ain't I seein' clear, hm?" he asked, tilting his head a bit. "They are gonna pay, no matter how long it'll take but I'll find any…single…one of 'em. 'n then, they'll go t'hell."
Breathing hard, Hank watched his friend turning around. "He killed you once, Logan… And without Jean…"
"Don't…say her name," Logan warned him through clenched teeth.
Hank paused for a moment. "Without her we don't stand a chance against Apocalypse…," he spoke out the truth that the survivors of their team thought but no one dared to say out loud. He watched how Logan turned his head to look back at him, then switched his eyes to the rest of the group, watched how the lowered their heads and avoided his gaze. They were waiting for the bomb to go off… "We need a leader, Logan," Hank tried to go for damage control. "We don't know what to do…"
"Yer doin' a bang up job," Logan shrugged and made another step on the stairs.
"But we need our leader," he heard his friend saying almost pleadingly. "I'm not a leader and you know that… And to be quiet frank…" He shook his head, eyes looking tired. "I don't know what to do anymore…"
Logan looked at them warily for a moment before he lowered his gaze. "Me neither…," was all he said before he headed further upstairs and disappeared behind his room door.
Hank sighed and ran a hand over his face. He was exhausted; mentally as much as physically. He tried his best to keep the survivors together, to be strong for them but he, too, couldn't help but think about what he had lost, how much he missed them…
"What do you want him to do actually?" Jean-Paul suddenly asked him and Hank turned to look at the man, who had just wiped off his tears with the back of his hand and was still turning a bracelet in his hands, thoughtfully. "He just lost his whole family… Logan got other things on his mind than the team…"
"Still we need to know what to do…," Ororo replied and received a snort. "What?"
"You've got your own mind, Ororo. Figure something out," the Canadian said, voice unusually tired for him and kept his eyes on the silvery bracelet with the black onyx stones, fingers stroking over it. "Logan can't always be the rock in the storm… You can't always expect of him to be strong for you," he went on and made the others even more thoughtful with that statement.
Narya watched him from aside and frowned and the object in his hands, wondered where he got it from. "Since when do you wear jewelry?" she asked him out of interest and was surprised when he got wordlessly up to leave the room. "Did I say something wrong?!"
James nodded while holding Heather's hand. "He got it from Akihiro on Christmas since he didn't have any present for Paul…"
"Oh…," the blonde said and sank back into the couch. "Damn… I didn't know about it." She joined the silence and didn't look up when the Avengers and Fantastic Four excused themselves, went upstairs to go to bed. Everyone of them had their eyes on the still burning candle and thought about the friends they'd lost, thought about where they'd go from here, if they were facing a fight they could not win… "Excuse me," Narya suddenly said, let go of John's hand and went looking for her best friend. The thought that he was hardly talking and kept on staring off into space whenever she ran into him, bothered her. In the end he was her best and closest friend and the concern was great. After she had wandered around the mansion for a long while, she finally found him on the dark attic, sitting in a corner between old trunks and furniture, legs pulled close and the head, which wasn't turned into her direction, resting on the arms. She went slowly over to him and sat down, a hand reaching out to wrap an arm around him. The gesture made him turn his head warily, blue eyes empty and sad. It broke her heart to see him like that. "You're really miserable, aren't you…?" she asked him and he nodded, head still on his head and more tears running down his cheeks. "Why didn't you say something?" she sighed and reached up to stroke through his hair, beginning to feel miserable, too. When he only shrugged and looked away again, she pulled him closer and thought about what to do. She didn't know him like that, could count on one hand the few times he had been sad or angry; so seeing him being so miserable was something she couldn't cope with.
Her eyes fell on the bracelet in his right hand and she reached out to pull his hand closer. "You got it from him?" she asked carefully and received another nod. "Then why are you not wearing it?"
Jean-Paul shook his head and leant back to rest his head against the wall behind him, eyes on the shiny object. "I can't…," he replied hoarsely and sniffed.
"Why?"
"It… It just feels wrong…," he tried to explain, knew how ridiculous it sounded but was unable to explain his feelings. "It was his favorite…"
"Yes, and he gave it to you," Narya said which made him sigh and she took his hand. She thought she had figured it out. "You can't wear it because you'd admit how you really feel about him, don't you? Because it reminds you of him…," she said and received a weak nod after a moment of silence. "Paul… You can't change the things that you did or didn't do, you can't change what has happened… But…see it like that…" She reached out to take the silvery onyx bracelet from him and wrapped it around his right wrist. "In that way he's still always with you," she finished and watched him looking at his wrist for a moment, before his eyes became glassy again. She shifted his position and knelt down next to him, wrapped her arms around him and pulled him close. "I know you miss them…and that you loved him. And no matter what the others always said about the two of you, whenever I saw you together I thought you matched. Even if you didn't match characterwise or from your looks, it just felt right seeing you together."
"I miss them so much…," she heard him sobbing into her neck and pulled him even closer.
"I know…," Narya sighed and rested her head against his. "I know…"
They were already staying at the old estate for two weeks, endured the trouble that was to get their hands on food – especially the foul mood in which Victor was always in after being dragged to the outside by Logan -, when they finally sat down for breakfast and Cap said what everyone was thinking.
"We need to move…"
"And where?" James asked.
"Well I'd say we'll stay here but it's becoming too difficult for us to find food," Cap replied. "Logan said most of the animals moved too far up north, we don't have any of our resources left…"
"Someone could get food from the next village," Bucky suggested.
"How? By stealing it?" Clint asked him. "We don't have any food left, we don't know where to go, the States are an apocalyptic war zone… That's just perfect!" He could only shake his head. "Maybe… Aren't there any farms around here?!"
"Yes, and Burger Kings, too," Tony replied sarcastically. "What do you intend to do? Steal a whole cow? Or cut off a piece in hope the farmer won't notice?"
"Do you have a better idea?!" Clint challenged him and his opposite shrugged.
"Steal a cow, throw in a potato, start a Burger King of our own," he said matter-of-factly. "We should actually call it Stark Burger. In the end it was my idea."
"Tony, I was trying to be serious here…," Cap said and received a chuckle.
"Oh really? I wouldn't have notice," the addressed replied and shook his head. "Seriously, all your ideas about food and moving and doing a raid on the next farm… It's ridiculous! First, we don't have money, so no shopping for us, second, we don't know where to go, do we? So no moving either. And third, it's winter! Do you intend to sneak into a barn and drag a cow through knee-high snow all the way up here, leave a nice large trail for the farmer to follow and get us into the newspaper?" he asked. "If that's the case, just let us fly back to Washington and land in front of the White…, excuse me, Mr. Egomaniac's residence, stop in front of his window and wave our hands. That would be as secretive as leaving large cow trails that lead directly up to here."
"He has a point!" John said and crossed his arms. His eyes fell on Logan next to him who had his head lowered and was massaging his temples. He guessed his brother hadn't been sleeping again.
"We should eat the wolf…," Creed growled.
"Touch him 'n yer dead!" came the immediate reply from Logan, which was backed up by an angry growl from Miloh into Creed's direction.
"It's eatin' our food in the end!"
Logan looked up, eyes shooting death glares at Victor. "He's eatin' my food. Touch him 'n yer dead!" he warned him once more and lowered his head again. His mind was tired and he already began to imagine things, at least he thought so. It has started a moment ago and somehow became more and more with every second that past. When a hand touched his shoulder, he turned his head a bit to the side and back again when he noticed that it was only John. He didn't want to answer any stupid questions right now and hoped the gesture was enough. Of course, it wasn't…
"Are you okay?" John asked concerned and kept his hand on his brother's arm, even if the man tried to shake it off. "Is something wrong?!"
"Nothin'… Just hearin' voices," Logan grunted and turned his head away again.
Ororo sighed and put her makeshift mug with water down. "Are Scott and Remy upstairs again?"
"Have you ever seen them outside of their room except for breakfast or lunch?" James asked her with a slight sarcastic tone in his voice. "Piotr asked for them to join us but they wanted to be left alone."
"Great…," she said with a shake of her head. She turned to her right when Logan let out a growl and practically jumped out of his chair, then began pacing, hands folded behind his head and was heaving deep breaths. "What's the matter with him?!"
"He's hearing voices…," Cap shrugged and reached out to grab his mug when John walked over to the window and looked out, a frown on his face. "Is something wrong?" he asked, suddenly alerted and withdrew his hand from the mug, exchanging looks with the others.
"You're not hallucinating," John said to his brother and made Logan look up. "I'm hearing voices, too…"
"I don't hear anything…," Tony shrugged.
"It can't be her…," Logan grunted and lowered his head again, fists clenched and eyes looking off into space.
John switched his attention back to the window and reached out to open the back door in the end. He concentrated, tried to fight his way through every other noises he detected and to get through to what he picked up on.
Logan watched him, eyes narrowed. To him it was a waste of time. "We're in a remote location up in the mountains," he told him and met John's gaze. "It ain't real!"
"I can hear it, too, Logan!" John disagreed and was about to add something when Logan got off his stool and headed for the door.
"It ain't real!"
"Okay, then we're probably both hearing voices," John said sarcastically and closed the back door again. "Still I heard it, too…"
"Heard what?!" Ororo asked but he waved off.
"Someone shouting miles away," the feral grunted and sat back down. "Too far away to actually understand what…"
"Maybe some hunters," James shrugged. "Well, let's go back to discuss where to get food from. I think that's more important than hearing voices."
"I'm still ruling for Stark Burger," Tony replied while Reed and he worked on a plan to develop the heating of the rooms further. "Seriously, I have no idea. You could send the speedster to catch a cow from a nearby barn. He at least can't get caught…."
Oblivious to that comment, Northstar was asleep on the couch, wrapped into one of the blankets they had, his mind finally having given in to the sleep deprivation of the past days. Still he didn't like his dreams at all. In them the three of them were still together, he felt happy and content, wasn't the coward he had been before and avouched for his feelings. When he heard Kazuki calling him in his dreams, he began to stir and wanted to wake up. He couldn't bear it any longer, it hurt too much.
He heaved a deep breath before he opened his eyes slowly, blinked against the dim light in the room and reached up to run a hand over his face. It was already dark again as he figured. He felt still tired as hell but couldn't care less; dreaming about them felt worse. Drowsily, he stood up and wanted to get a glass of water, closed his eyes when he could still hear the boy's voice in his ears, calling him. It hurt, even more than being beaten up by his old team members had. When he had reached the kitchen and something bumped into him, he first thought it was Miloh and didn't bother to look down. Instead he aimed directly for the canister with clean water that they kept next to the sink. His head felt like air, he couldn't grasp a clear thought, ears were roaring and everything still like a dull sound. He was too tired…
"Papa!" he heard the boy's voice once more and closed his eyes, his heart clenching painfully in his chest. How much he wished to have at least his little boy back… "Ow!" escaped his lips as something hard connected with his thigh. Jean-Paul lowered his gaze and his eyes widened at the same time as he made a step back. Huge hazel eyes were staring back at him, a frown in the young face and tiny hands reaching out once more.
"Papa!"
He thought he was still dreaming, that he had just dreamed he had woken up and was in fact still asleep on the couch. But when he knelt down and the boy clung to him, he knew it was real and cupped the child's face in his hands to stare at him for a while in shock. He could feel the cold skin, felt its smoothness, the hair and heard him breathing. "Kazu…," Northstar whispered and, after another moment of staring, pulled the boy into a crushing hug against his chest and started crying. "How did you get here?!" he asked and looked at the boy again, who still held on to his shirt and pointed at the door. "Yes, but with whom?! Who brought you here?" he asked and looked up when someone entered the room.
"Who are you talki…," Hank began and stared at the boy in shock next. "Oh my God… How did he get here?!"
"I don't now," Jean-Paul sniffed and stood up with Kazu on his arms. "Kazu, who brought you here?!" he tried again and looked at Hank.
"There," the boy replied and pointed at the door once more.
"Yes, but how…," the speedster began once more as the half closed door went open with a loud bang and made Hank and him startle first and take a careful step back, their eyes wide…
Well, I'm actually 20 minutes too late but I still had to add the ending.
Again I'm sorry that it took so long to get that chapter up but it's finally done. I hope you enjoyed reading it! Please let me know!!