Based on a prompt that I only half-filled. Oops. This is the scene in TBB where John meets Sebastian, and why he insists on the term "colleague" after Sherlock introduces him as a "friend." John's pov, pretty short, sorry about that. John/Sherlock is a mild and undefined sense, so no warnings here (except very minor spoilers for that scene).
Not my best fic ever, but I do have way too much fun writing John's pov, I just can't help myself. Feedback would make you my hero, as always.
"Friend."
It's a simple word, but one so loaded with ambiguities. John isn't sure why it makes him so nervous. Maybe it's the way Sherlock emphasizes the word, like making a point. Maybe it's the way Sebastian parrots it back, his tone all mockery and skepticism. Or the expression on his face, like he can't decide whether to laugh or sneer and has settled for something in between. Whatever it is, something makes John distinctly uncomfortable, and he feels the need to clarify.
"Colleague" seems so much safer, more impersonal and professional. This is a job, after all.
But it's not the truth, and John has to admit this to himself. What word would he use to describe Sherlock, if someone were to ask? His flatmate? Technically accurate, certainly. His colleague? On good days, when Sherlock actually lets him contribute. His partner? In several manners of speaking, yes. But if he were to be totally honest: his other half. His everything. But that is something he isn't ready to admit to anyone, not even to Sherlock. Not even to himself.
And it is certainly not something to be revealed to a lowlife like Sebastian, who is currently mocking Sherlock in that contemptuous tone disguised by only the thinnest veneer of civility. Purposely reminding Sherlock that even if he has a friend/colleague/whatever now (which he either doubts entirely or takes for more, given his frequent glances between them), in the past, no one liked him, and he will never escape that.
Sherlock rolls his eyes like such petty reminiscing is beneath him, but John can tell that it is a subject he would rather not dredge up. Anyone else might miss that tightness of his jaw and lowering of his eyes, but John has learned to read Sherlock the way Sherlock reads the rest of the world. It makes John want to retort with something biting and clever, to make this bastard see what a prick he is, that he can in no way compare to Sherlock, despite his fancy watch and posh office.
But that is always Sherlock's role. Sherlock makes the clever remarks, and John backs him up. He doesn't need John to stand up for him, as he has made clear on several occasions.
And so John waits for it. And in classic Sherlock form he goes for contrariness, choosing to purposely disappoint. Maybe to show that he has nothing to prove, that he won't jump through hoops for Sebastian's amusement, not anymore. It's much more mild than what John had in mind, but it's Sherlock's past and his personal issues to deal with. He leaves it be. But he promises to himself that when this case is over he is going to let Sebastian know exactly what he thinks.
John doesn't know why he feels he has anything to prove to this creep, but he still wants to stand up to him, even in some small way. He feels more than a bit guilty for downplaying his relationship with Sherlock, for playing so perfectly into Sebastian's preconceived notions.
So as they leave the bank he stands just a bit closer to Sherlock than he needs to. Just a bit closer than "colleagues," even more than "friends." Whatever this is between them it doesn't need titles and it certainly doesn't need the approval of someone like Sebastian.
But that doesn't stop John from relishing the slight look of shock on that smug bastard's face as he places a hand lightly against the small of Sherlock's back, in a subtle but unmistakably intimate gesture. His answering smile tells Sebastian exactly where he can shove his opinions.