Vertiginous
Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach nor am I making any money off of it!
AN: I really should be working furiously hard on my novel which I'm hoping to finish and submit by the end of this year. Instead I'm writing a 'sort of' part three of Renji Shuuhei fanfiction.
…. I see my priorities are apparently in the right order.
Be aware, the word 'puce' is used.
ver⋅tig⋅i⋅nous
1. whirling; spinning; rotary: vertiginous currents of air.
2. affected with vertigo; dizzy.
3. liable or threatening to cause vertigo: a vertiginous climb.
apt to change quickly; unstable: a vertiginous economy.
Warnings: This is definitely yaoi, and not shounan ai. Turn back now if you don't want to continue, or you can just skip over certain stuff.
xxxxxxx
Nothing was going right today.
Nothing.
Having Kuchiki taichou glower at him over the spilt tea all over the important documents was only the tip of the iceberg.
Lately, for some reason, that he didn't understand, Kuchiki taichou was being extra hard on him.
Renji mentally joked to himself that Kuchiki taichou was pmsing or something.
However, when those cold bastardly eyes looked at you like that, internal jokes withered under their glare, and Renji felt himself begin to stutter, and make excuses, and act like an idiot like he always did concerning his captain.
It was a relief to escape, back to his office, a relief to see Kira enter his office, except, as usual, something seemed off, and it took a moment for Renji to get it.
Kira was actually looking happy.
Something Renji was not used to.
He felt wary. Suspicious.
He half expected someone to leap out and shout 'surprise!' and Kira's expression to go back to the usual depressed pallor that he liked to sport.
Instead, Kira leant against the desk confidentially, his eyes sparkling with excitement.
"Renji!!!" he whispered.
He had to whisper.
Byakuya was about, and no one knew where he would be lurking, listening to conversations waiting to reprimand.
"Yeah?" came the wary reply.
"She accepted!"
"Who accepted?"
"Matsumoto san… she's.. we're…" Kira stuttered, his face going a deep puce. "She accepted my proposal! We're going to get married!"
The words seemed to become disjointed, like broken up computer fragments, or pixels not fitting entirely right in a picture.
Renji simply stared at Kira numb with shock and wondering what on earth could have happened to make the world spin out of control.
"I didn't know you two were dating." Renji managed to put out.
Kira's demeanour became shy. "Yeah, uhm, it was secret… but I finally got the courage to ask."
Renji still couldn't comprehend the news.
"I thought that she and Shuuhei were?"
Kira scowled, "No. Everyone thinks that because they are friends and think they should be together. It's all lies. They don't have that kind of feeling for each other.. besides…" Kira's tone lowered confidentially, "I think Hisagi san may be interested in men. I'm not sure, but I get this feeling off him."
Renji wanted to throw up badly.
He was confused, the world seemed to be spinning too fast, and the information that innocent little Kira was piling upon him made his stomach suddenly nauseous.
"Oh."
Renji knew he shouldn't be so surprised that even more shit was piling up around him. It had started out normal enough, waking up, getting ready for work, Byakuya doing his morning humiliation and making him consider suicide before resolving he would kick that bastards ass instead. You know, the usual.
When Kira had come in, Renji figured he was just dropping off reports, and maybe have a bit of a chat. He did not suspect Kira to drop a giant nuclear warhead on him.
"Really?" The question came out a little squeakier than intended.
Kira gave a serious nod.
"Oh. I would have never guessed." Renji added, attempting to recover some.
Kira grinned, "I better go now, before He Who Must Not Be Bothered comes."
Faking a smile, Renji nodded, and watched his friend leave.
Looking at the papers before him, he attempted to concentrate. Work.
Work….
Shuuhei was not with Rangiku.
He had been wondering about that. It had been a year since Shuuhei had made Captain, and the rumours about him and Rangiku were about the same as ever…. But as far as he could see, there wasn't anything new happening. Then again, he hadn't really been hanging out with Shuuhei too much.
In fact, he had sort of, maybe, been avoiding him.
He had been hanging out with Rukia more, except, their relationship had fallen into something more platonic, and he had the feeling that Rukia may like someone else, most probably Ichigo with how much she hung out with him.
It was nice having a friend who understood you enough that you didn't need to actually spell things out.
Ten minutes later, Renji realized he had been reading the same line over and over.
Perhaps he should… deliver reports.
Glancing at the clock, he found that there were about two hours to kill before he could officially call it a day.
He then looked at the relatively nice sized stack of reports.
If he did it right, he could kill those two hours walking between the companies delivering and chatting. Maybe gleaning more information about this Kira Rangiku fandango.
Grabbing the reports, he quickly sorted them by company, before tucking them under his arm, and flipping the sign on his door.
He couldn't get out of the 6th fast enough.
It was cold, and muddy out. Fortunately, it had stopped raining some time ago.
Delivering reports turned out to be rather dull, everyone too busy to talk for long, until he only had a few more to deliver. To the company he had been avoiding.
The company that still did not have a vice captain. When Shuuhei had offered, he didn't think he had been serious… but the vacant position seemed to be a giant gaping maw, ready to eat him whenever he wasn't prepared.
Shuuhei should really promote his first seat Sakamoto, who seemed to be doing the brunt of the work anyway.
Not that he really liked Sakamoto… Renji frowned, at his spark of jealousy. He had been sort of, maybe, ok totally, observing Shuuhei and his first seat interact. He hated that Sakamoto was about ten times prettier than he was – so effeminate. You could dress him up as a Geisha and you wouldn't be able to tell if he was a man at all.
Plus, Sakamoto had red hair – but his red was a lot prettier. Like some sort of flower.
His pace had gotten even more sedate as he stewed over his thoughts.
Shit… maybe he should hand this delivery over to Rikichi.
It took a moment of panicked thought to realize why he couldn't breath anymore.
Embarrassed, Renji turned his head, and spit the mud out of his mouth.
Shit. This day was getting worse by the moment. Renji thought grumpily, as he ungainly got himself up, and managed to wipe the mud away from his face. He flexed the documents, the cover entirely covered by mud, however, the insides seemed to be okay.
A sudden snort of laughter, that had clearly been suppressed, caused Renji to look up, and his eyes widened.
The worst possible scenario ever.
How the day had been going, not surprising.
"Hisagi Taichou." Came the gasp.
Shuuhei was standing rather close, apparently moving to come to his aide. His eyes fell to the shadow behind him, Sakamoto san.
The should be vice captain.
Shuuhei's hand was outstretched, and, after a moment, Renji took it, getting up, the mud sticking to his uniform.
"Arigatou. I was looking for you… here are some documents." Renji managed to say, thinking that this might turn out for the better. He made the mistake however to look Shuuhei directly in the face. A face that still held the sparkle of laughter, a face, which was looking directly at him, the amusement clear, the friendliness still there, as if he didn't know that he had been ignored for practically a year. Sparkling grey eyes, that were captivating with how they seemed to penetrate… eyes which he had seen glazed over from alcohol, eyes which he had seen glazed over from orgasm…
"Ah? Thank goodness for outer folders ," Shuuhei said, only then, managing to let go of Renji's hand in order to take the folder. "Sakamoto san," Shuuhei turned to his first seat, his very pretty first seat, "Could you please take this to the 9th? I need to talk to Abarai san."
Sakamoto flushed, a very feminine flush that Renji felt a gnawing envy at, as he bowed, took the document and obediently ran off.
"Useful isn't he?" Shuuhei commented, his gaze lingering on his retreating first seat.
"Uh… yeah. Not sure why you haven't promoted him yet." Renji found himself bitterly replying.
"Too young, not enough experience, and his sense of humour can't stand my toilet jokes," came the prompt reply.
Despite everything, Renji found himself smiling a little. Shuuhei always seemed to have the key to make him feel better.
"Yeah? Well, I should get back to the 6th, and get cleaned up." Renji muttered.
Unexpectedly, Shuuhei firmly gripped Renji's chin, and forced their gazes to meet again. However, the mirth was now gone, and a critical look at entered Shuuhei's gaze.
"Renji, why are there dark rings under your eyes?"
"Are there? I .. must not be sleeping enough." Renji replied, attempting to still the pounding of his heart.
"And you're skinnier than usual, have you been eating?"
"What are you? My mom?" Renji sputtered, managing to roil up some pertinent anger.
The grip on Renji's chin tightened.
"Renji! I have not been laid in a very long time so my temper is short." Came the low hiss, "So stop being a smart ass with me, and tell me what the hell is going on. I'm tired of your BS."
Pulling away sharply, Renji turned around, "I'm gonna get changed."
Shit fuck, he was blushing.
And he mentally groaned when Shuuhei fell into perfect line with him.
"Perfect. We can discuss things at the 6th."
"What the hell does you getting laid have anything to do with talking to me?" Renji hissed, angry, confused.
"What the hell does Byakuya do to you to make you lose a ton of weight eh Renji?" Shuuhei hissed back. "And why the hell have you been avoiding me like the black plague?"
"I haven't." Renji lied, quickening his pace.
"Fuck yes you have. Do I smell bad is that it?"
"No, that's not it." Renji growled, before moving into shunpo, trying to shake Shuuhei off, unsuccessfully.
Reaching the 6th, Renji sighed as Shuuhei stopped beside him.
"Running away Renren?"
"Yes, yes, I am." Entering the compound, Renji walked towards his rooms, Shuuhei following.
Resigning himself to the unwanted follower, Renji removed his zori, and then, indicated that Shuuhei should do the same.
Entering his private rooms, Renji began to strip out of his muddy uniform, not really caring whether Shuuhei looked or not anymore.
To be honest he was just plain tired, and wanted a nice hot bath, and maybe some sake and sleep.
Was that too much to ask of the universe?
Apparently it was.
"Your rooms a fucking mess Renji. Your have underwear strewn across the floor, what the hell have you been doing?" came Shuuhei's disapproving tones.
Renji flushed. To be honest, with the whole break up with Shuuhei thing, he had fallen into a state of depression, and hadn't really taken care of himself. To have Shuuhei see it so blatantly was absolutely mortifying.
"Why should you even care?" Renji muttered, throwing his muddy uniform down on the ground.
There was a still silence, that Renji could feel.
He chanced a glance, and wished he hadn't. Shuuhei was shooting him a dark unreadable look.
Desperately, Renji decided to change the subject.
"So, Rangiku's marrying Kira eh? Who would have thought… especially since I thought you and she were gonna get together." His words came out angrier than he had meant them to be.
"Why aren't you blissfully married to Rukia?" came the shot back.
Renji glared at Shuuhei, "Because she's fucking Ichigo!"
Shock registered across Shuuhei's face, before he finally quietly said, "You and her aren't together?"
Flushing, Renji broke the stare, and walked across his room towards his private bathroom.
Pausing at the door, Renji shot Shuuhei a rather hurt look, before whispering, "You can go now."
Not waiting for a reply, Renji entered his bathroom, and walked towards the shower room.
Shit why did Shuuhei follow him anyway? Renji felt embarrassed as his throat felt a little raw, and his eyes tingled with tears.
Finally thinking he had finally gotten over him and he just drops in like some sort of atom bomb.
Turning the water off, Renji grabbed a towel and dried off. Rubbing his face, he hoped that Shuuhei had actually gone. He was sort of thankful – yes thankful – that Shuuhei hadn't followed him into the bathroom. How embarrassing would that be?
Sliding the door open, Renji stared at his room.
It was clean.
All the dirty clothes had been picked up, and things had been pushed back into place.
In the far corner, returning something onto a shelf, was Shuuhei, the black nine on his back standing out in contrast against his white captains jacket.
Glancing over his shoulder, Shuuhei's eyes connected with Renji's.
"Why… why are you still here?"
Shoving the item fully onto the shelf, Shuuhei took a step back, before turning towards Renji.
"Baakaaa I can't leave you like this with a good conscience can I?" came the slow reply. "Look, at least we can get a little drunk and you can tell me whats eating you up neh?"
Before Renji could reply, there was a knock, and Shuuhei went to get it. He came back a moment later, with a platter full of booze and some food.
"I got Rikichi to get some food while you were showering…"
Settling down by the table, Shuuhei laid down the food and booze, before looking up expectantly at Renji.
Apparently Shuuhei had been asking just to pose as being polite, there was actually no choice in the matter.
Grabbing a house kimono, Renji quickly dressed, before sitting down across from Shuuhei.
"I'm not happy you're doing this," Renji grumbled as he pulled one of the dishes toward him.
"Don't need to thank me presumptuously," came the response.
Shooting a glare, Renji took a bite of the food, and let an uncomfortable silence fall between them. Which led to drinking.
And eating, and then more drinking.
Falling back into old habits, Renji drunkenly thought, as he focused on Shuuhei's lips. Wanted a kiss so bad.
The food was mostly gone, the sake mostly drunk. Bottles stood around the two men like lazy sentinels, leading the way to places of no judgement.
Not much had really happened for conversation.
Renji at first, too mad to really say anything, before both of them slipping into a drunken sort of stupor. Night had come in, and neither had been inclined to find any other light source than the outside night. Dark shadows had stole across the room, leaving their surroundings to fancies of the imagination.
Leaning back on his elbows Shuuhei's haori fell open, revealing his soft white collar bone.
His eyes were focusing on the moon rising outside, the shoji not fully shut, giving a glimpse of the outside.
It was only then that Renji noticed that Shuuhei's hair had gotten longer, like back in the academy days, the black strands brushing against his cheek as his head tilted as he seemed to study the moon more intently.
His lips seemed to be in a frown, as if he were thinking something important, and with how the shadows played, Renji found his gaze slowly travelling to the dark shadows Shuuhei's eyelashes made against his cheek.
Renji's heart seemed to freeze as the Shuuhei turned his gaze straight on him.
A wry grin seemed to spread across Shuuhei's face, and then, with a sort of sigh, came the response, "Come on then, if you want it."
"What?" Renji felt as if his throat were incredibly dry. He was remembering how this entire shitty situation had started, and it had quite literally started with a similar comment from Shuuhei in an entirely similar situation.
Renji had been caught staring, and Shuuhei had noticed. Instead of being repulsed, he had made a cheeky comment.
"You're looking desperate," the comment brought Renji back to the present, as he watched Shuuhei shift, pulling away from the table, before crawling to Renji, closing the small space between them. His face was close to Renji's the sake clear on his breath, as he murmured, "Just this once kay? I gotta leave early though cuz I got some kids to train."
Opening his mouth to respond, Renji felt his breath get sucked out of him, as Shuuhei's lips clamped firmly over his, in an aggressive kiss.
Struggling, Renji pulled away. This wasn't what he wanted – not like this. Not another series of drunken one night stands.
"N-" Renji couldn't seem to get the words out, and he felt himself being gently pushed onto the ground, Shuuhei apparently too drunk to fully understand that Renji would actually refuse.
Rough fingertips glanced across the skin that was quickly getting bared, and Renji felt his refusal fully die.
Even if it was only once, it would be ok.
It had been too long anyway, over a year since they had last been fully intimate like this.
Had Shuuhei had other lovers than him in the intermediate time?
Judging by how firmly Shuuhei was stripping him, Renji liked to fool himself that he hadn't.
"Che, you're getting too fucking skinny," came the comment.
"Why should you care?" Renji grumbled, turning his head to the side, focusing on the moon.
Warm breath puffed across his neck, as Shuuhei murmured, "I don't like bony asses to fuck."
Shuuhei's warm tongue traced his pulsing artery, before going up and licking his earlobe.
"Why fuck me then?" Renji found himself saying, a little dispiritedly.
Soft lips pressed against Renji's tattooed face, before tracing and forming against Renji's lips.
The kiss was slow and inviting, and Renji gave up on getting any real answer out of Shuuhei.
Wrapping his arms around Shuuhei, Renji gave himself into the kiss, opening his legs wider in invitation.
The mouth was soon replaced by fingers, and Renji found himself obediently sucking them, focusing on the stormy grey eyes watching him.
When Shuuhei withdrew his fingers, Renji found himself muttering, "Careful, it's been awhile."
In reaction, Shuuhei's intrusion gentled a little, as if he was able to still his horny impatience.
Renji knew he wouldn't last long, especially when Shuuhei paid some attention to his already stiff cock.
"Hurry up," came the order.
"Che first you tell me to go slow, now you tell me to fucking hurry up," Shuuhei grumbled, as he moved into position. "I'm gonna enter."
Renji forced himself to relax as he felt Shuuhei's blunt cock nudge against his perineum, before shifting, and entering.
"Nnn, fuck forgot how big you were," Renji gasped out.
"Don't fucking tense up!" Shuuhei panted out.
Shuuhei's forearms were on either side of Renji, while Renji's fingers dug into Shuuhei's back, as he was fully entered.
Resting for a moment, Renji wondered why the hell he allowed Shuuhei to do this, especially when it felt so uncomfortable, before with a shift he suddenly remembered.
"I'm gonna thrust k?" came the grunt, and without waiting for a response, Shuuhei started up a slow rhythm, allowing Renji to readjust to the intrusion.
His left leg wrapped around Shuuhei's waist, Renji allowed himself to feel the beginning spark of pleasure, and fully let himself go. It wasn't often he had sex, and he was damn well going to enjoy it while he could.
Proving his prediction true, Renji found himself cumming prematurely, but due to their dual drunken state, Shuuhei wasn't far to follow.
Panting, their bodies entwined, Renji felt himself come down from the sexual high, and feel a creeping depression seep into him.
Feeling the withdrawal of Shuuhei's cock, Renji felt a little surprised when Shuuhei didn't immediately leave. Instead, Shuuhei lay beside him on his side, and lazily stared at Renji.
"Because you're beautiful."
The comment came out of nowhere, and Renji was too overwhelmed by drunken hormones to bother thinking back on where it could have come from.
"What?"
"About why I would care about your bony ass…" Shuuhei murmured before drifting off to sleep.
Beautiful, yeah right. Renji thought, as his eyes drifted over to the night sky.
"Ah… the moon has moved," he murmured, before with a reluctance on his part, he found himself staring at the sleeping man beside him.
The sun shone hotly against his eyes, and Renji groaned.
Shit, why was he so stiff?
Rubbing his eyes, he slowly opened them, and knew immediately that he had never properly made it to bed.
Shifting, he felt a sharp pain in his ass, and memories of the night before came flooding back.
Glancing over, he felt his heart plummet when he noticed that there was no sign of the other man beside him, other than the empty sake bottles, hurt ass, and plates.
A banging was heard on his door, and Renji wondered what time it was, and if he had over slept.
Groaning, he forced himself to stand up, and walk towards his door.
Leaning against it, he mumbled, "Who is it?"
Rikichi's voice could be clearly heard on the other side of the door, "Abarai fuku taichou! Kuchiki taichou sent me to get you, you're an hour late!"
"Oh."
Renji couldn't find it in himself to muster up enough energy to care.
"Tell him I'll be at the office in a half hour." He responded, before shuffling towards the bathroom.
Glancing at his haggard appearance in the mirror, Renji smirked. He must have been too drunk last night to fully understand Shuuhei's last comment, or if he had even made it.
Stripping out of his half put on kimono, Renji knew that today would be a hell of a day, especially with Kuchiki's disapproving glare following him around like a leech, and with how his ass hurt, but it was nothing compared to how he felt.
Entering the shower, Renji wondered if he would have maybe another one night stand with Shuuhei, and if he was, how he would engineer it.
xxxxxx
AN: Happy Christmas! Not quite the happy ending one might have liked. Oh well. Now back to some serious writings.