I have always been proud of my brother. This was something that was never questioned. How could I not be proud? He's a hero to me and to the world, but I can't help but worry.
Worry. I used to think worry was unnecessary. Even though I am more mature than my fellow peers, still, I am a teenager. I still didn't really care all too much about my family like any other teenager would...Well, that was before I learned Danny's secret.
Now, worry consumes me, gripping me tightly until I can barely breath. He says not to worry so much; he says he will be fine. But I can't help it!
I know he's a good fighter, and I know he's powerful, much stronger than the others. He is the strongest person I know.
But he is still my brother. He can still...Hurt. Bleed. Die.
He is still human; although his ghost status makes him more durable than any human on the planet, he can still be killed. Fear grips me, taking turns with its partner worry.
This fact alone puts me in an unexpected panic attack whenever he leaves to fight, exactly like the one I'm experiencing, now. Why the sudden panic attack, you might ask.
We were having a normal conversation in his room, laughing and just talking in general. Him lounging lazily on his bed while I took my designated spot, sitting at the chair by his desk. Just a normal brother and sister conversation. Then, a shiver went through him, making his whole entire body convulse, as his breath became visible.
I knew what this meant: a ghost. Seeing his breath and shivers, I hated it; whenever I saw this, hatred would course through my very being. This was the reason why he would come home late every night, covered in scratches, bruises, cuts, and injuries I can't even imagine how he got. This was the reason why he suffered. This was the reason why he faced death every day.
Bitterness arose in my mouth leaving it dry as I watched my little brother change and go out the window.
It has been hours, too many, since he left. I have been sitting here in the same spot, just waiting. Too long. It has been too long. I shake my head, red hair lightly falling around me, trying to rid myself of all the dark images of my brother laying broken on the streets. What if...I stand up abruptly before I could finish the very thought. With a growl of frustration, I throw my hands in the air. "He is fine," I whisper but scream in my head. He has to be.
He has to be fine.
A loud thud brings me out of my thoughts as I see Danny coming through the window.
A huge smile replaces my anxious frown as I see his form stand.
He stumbles and crumples on the ground, taking hold of his shoulder. My world shatters.
Fear, Anxiety, Panic, Anguish, they all run through me. No time to have any true thoughts; I can only feel the raw emotions as I run to him; my happy moment completely forgotten. Something is wrong. Something bad. He can't be hurt that bad. God, please no. But no matter how many times I try to talk myself into believing that it could only be just a scratch or two, I know that it isn't.
Danny never shows his pain to others. One of the things I just wish he would stop doing. For him to collapse to the ground in front of me...It must be bad.
I try to not gasp but can't help but let it escape as I see my brother laying there on the floor. His stark-white hair streaked with green ectoplasm and his eyes scruntched tight, a grimace distorting his feature into pure pain. Ectoplasm was spewing out of the hand that was covering the injured shoulder.
No. I shudder trying to gain control of myself. By, now, I am already kneeling over him checking his vitals. Even though he was still in his ghost form, he still had some traits of a human. He still had to breathe, and his heart still had to beat. Thankfully, both are still opperating, but at extremes. His heartbeat is weak. His breathing is hard and laborious.
A grim expression takes over my features as one phrase passes through my mind shattering the rest of my thoughts: Help Danny.
Such a minor phrase, but such a huge impact. My hands start to work, taking out the small first aid kit found under Danny's bed and laying out the supplies. The gears in my head start to turn, assessing what I need and how much of it. The work makes me focus; the need to keep him alive gives me strength.
Green changes to red as he changes back, too week to stay ghost.
Blood. Blood is everywhere. Please, it can't be this bad. Please.
Focus.
With shaking hands and tears streaking my cheeks, I grab my brother's hand, still clenching the wound, and take it away from the shoulder. I hear a gasp of pain from him; I stop momentarily, having to look at him, just to see if he is okay. I know I shouldn't have looked, but I had to. I had to see if he was still breathing; I had to see his chest still moving. I had to see his eyes still filled with light.
I look at him, gasping myself. So much pain in those eyes, so much. Danny. Tears start to form faster, making my eyesight blurry. Focus. I let them fall drop by drop as I work without stop, not bothering to wipe them away, not wanting to lose anymore time.
So much is broken. His torso looks like its been put through a shredder. Cuts, bruises, and deep wounds cover him. His shoulder has a gaping wound in it from God knows what. I almost lose it a couple times, but the need to take him out of this pain exceeds all. I still work while tears still fall.
He watches me work on him, half dazed, not really in this world, but not fully in the other. His breathing is heavy as if every breath is a fight, and his eyes still show the excruciating pain.
I whisper to him as I treat his wounds, keeping him with me.
"I love you so much, Danny."
I put his rib back into place.
"You mean the world to me."
I stop the heavy bleeding from one of his wounds.
"Everything you do; everything you do for these people. You are amazing, little brother."
I clean the minor scratches with alcohol.
"You are so brave; I couldn't do anything close to what you do."
Put another rib back into place.
"I am almost done, Danny. Then, you get to sleep."
Stop the bleeding of another wound.
"It's going to be okay."
Bandage his injuries.
Tears are still falling both relief and pain. I can still see the light in his eyes, but I can still see the pain. He gives me a small smile but somehow looking like a grimace at the same time, trying to comfort to me.
Another gasp escapes his lips as he tries to say something. Before I can protest, he rasps, "Jazz, it's okay."
Tears start to roll down my cheeks even more. I don't even know what for. The weak voice coming from his lips or from the fact that he actually can speak. Emotions, too many to name and figure out which, come crashing down, swallowing me whole.
Before I lose what little control I have, I give myself another task to do. One that will be extremely difficult and painful on Danny's part, but necessary.
"Danny, I have to get you into your bed. Do you think you can do it?" I whisper gently as if the mere sound of my voice could put him into even more pain.
Grinding his teeth, he gave me a weak nod.
With both of our efforts combined, we somehow manage to get him into his bed, but I can still hear his cut back cries echoing in my ears.
The still form underneath the covers is now on the verge escaping from his torture to his own personal dreamworld. His dark raven hair covering his half closed crystal blue eyes, somehow even half dazed still containing that intense spark within the folds of blues. His pale face coated in sweat as his mouth is half open taking in big gulps of air as if there wasn't enough in his lungs.
"My baby brother. You're so strong. So very strong.
You think that I am above you. A shadow that you can never fill. But, God, you have it all wrong. Your shadow is the one I will never fill. You save so many in one day. You sacrifice so much. What have I ever done? You think so low of yourself sometimes, but you have no idea how much you mean to me. To everybody. To the world..," I half laugh, thinking how ridiculous I sound to you. My cheeks blushing with embarrassment, "I know pretty corny, right?..."
Somehow, he managed to give me a small half smile, still strained from the pain. This only makes me want to go on further. I want to give more; I need to give more to him. Even if my words don't mean as much, I still need to say them; I still need to know they reached his ears. So, I continued, my thoughts and my words spilling out like the spilling water from broken dam.
"You amaze me every day with every remarkable thing you do," I look down to see his contradicting gaze, somehow breaking free from the haze he was once in. I shake my head knowingly, "I know; I know. You think it's nothing, that anybody else would do the same thing. But you're wrong. They wouldn't. Most would just give up after a day of what you do. Most wouldn't do the half of what you do.
You are something special, baby brother. Not because of your ghost powers, no. It's what you do. I know I keep saying this, but you have to know how much I think of you. There might be times when we disagree or fight, but none of that matters, now.
Just know this, that I will always be with you. You protect this world time and time again. Risk your neck for people you don't even know. So it's time for somebody to protect you for a change. I will always be here for you."
I couldn't help the smile playing on my lips as a slow blush creeps across my face; I see the exact expression mirrored in his face. He opens his mouth slowly as if he was about to say something, but I beat him to the punch, "Shh, go to sleep; I will be right here."
His posture relaxes even more, letting himself sink into the mattress further. I rest my head on his wall, positioning myself closer to him on the bed, ever so carefully, trying to not disturb him.
My hands begin to weave around his hair, taking each strand of onyx and stroking it slowly; something I always did to comfort Danny.
I hear a deep sigh escape his lips as his eyes begin to slowly close.
In an almost silent voice I hear, "Jazz, I love you, and I will always be here for you too."
AN: sorry for it being so short. :/ oh and this is the poem I came up with while writing this piece. Just putting it up because it served a little inspiration to this.
My little hero for a brother
lay in my arms
you care for everyone else
now it's your turn for someone to care for you
forget your troubles and despairs
forget your worries and cares
forget your responsibilities and have to's
just sleep in my arms
and let me whisper this to you
you mean the world to me
always astounding me with your bravery
I am awed how you always fight for what's true
how you always come through
know this, my little brother for a hero
I will always stand by you
And I will forever love you